SPIRITUAL HELP ALONG THE JOURNEY

In the summer of 1995, I recieved a mysterious postcard just as I was due to start chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. On one side was a picture of the angel Gabriel; on the other, the hand-scrawled words "Fear not!" No signature, no address, not even a postmark clear enough to track its origin. I must have looked at that card a thousand times in the months that followed, wondering and in wonder; puzzling over who might have sent it and why. Strangely, in spite of my diagnosis, I wasn't afraid. And that was a mystery, too.

Then I recieved a letter from a church in Florida, which simply said, "We're praying that you will have no fear." My first reaction was disappointment, then frustration. "Fear - but I don't have any fear! You'd think that they would pray for something I need - like healing!" The words were no sooner out of my mouth than I felt ashamed and foolish. Of course I didn't have any fear - people were out there praying that I wouldn't be afraid, and the prayers were working!

If you've found this page, it likely means that you (or someone you care about) have received a cancer diagnosis, and you know deep down that things will never be quite the same. As much as you might hate to admit it, you're likely afraid...of pain, suffering, loss, the unknown...and death. Life has suddenly gotten very serious, and oh, so very precious. Perhaps you're thinking life isn't fair and wondering why this has happened to you. Maybe you're wondering where to turn.

Whether or not you have grown up with particular religious beliefs, each one of us has a spiritual dimension that is as real and in need of care as the physical, mental, and emotional part of our being. And yet, this is the part of ourselves that we tend to neglect most, and often with grave consequences. Illnesses such as cancer are frequently spiritual "wake-up calls," the body's way of telling us that things are amiss and out of balance. For me, cancer was less about the body than it was about the spirit. It was the beginning of an amazing spiritual pilgrimage which I would not trade for anything. That may strike you as strange, even impossible. But though cancer is a horrible disease, there are remarkable gifts to be found in the cancering journey, not the least of which is the molding and re-shaping of the essential, inner you. You are "gold in the making", and adversity and suffering are the catalysts that can bring out your truest and most beautiful self. More importantly, it can bring you into a deep and intimate relationship with God who created you, and loves you.

For now, I am in remission, thanking God for the blessing of each day and for the lessons learned. I will never be the same, and in the ways that count, that's a good thing. On my desk there now sits a handmade ceramic angel with a huge smile, and a big sign that says, "FEAR NOT!" It's a reminder of what's important, and that with God looking out for me, no matter what, I have nothing to be afraid of. Nor do you. For, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid and do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

May God be with you in this journey, not of your choosing.

Rev. Joicy Becker-Richards, breast cancer survivor