This is Uncle Buford again. I couldn't find the link where people write in
and tell about games they played. But, I do want to tell you about a character
here in the mountians that was one of the best adventurers that we ever saw.
As I explained in my other letter to you, we play the game just a tad different
up here. So just keep that in mind and bear with me, okay? Ya'll are in for
a real treat! Here we go:
Name: Maynard Willie Mudtinkle (we call him either "Mud" or just Maynard)
Worships: Fried Pork, and Tammy Wynette
Race: They say the Mudtinkle family are a race of their own, but we're pretty
sure Maynard is human.
Sex: Every Thursday when he takes Joleen Swamcrueff out. (She works at theDairy
Weight: 368lbs of stylin and profilin
Hair: brown, but he dyes it black like Elvis
Abilities: like I said, we play the game just a tad different here.
Str: He can pick up a Cadillac engine all by himself (that would be good)
Dex: Even though he's just a tad overweight, he can reach down and trim his
Con: He's good about seein things through to the end.
Int: Well, let's see, Lord, a man can't have EVERYTHING!! He's real good
lookin, does that count for anything?
Wis: He can name every tree in the woods. And he can smell shit and tell
you what kind of animal left it.
Chr: Back when he was a salesman, he once sold aluminium sidin to somebody
in a trailer.
HP: Now, here we call that: Bad Assness. Maynard has a bad assness factor
of 93. (That's good)
Move Silently: Well, not too quiet, but it don't matter, he wants them to
KNOW his bad ass is commin!
Priest Spells: Here that would be magic, right?: He's a master at the "Fart
Now onto some things about Maynard:
He got to be so strong workin on a hog farm. (that didn't hurt his badness
either). He has a Harley, a Chevy pick up (blue ' 72 model) standard, shifter
on the floor. This is his adventure vehicle. He has all kinds of neat
stuff in the big tool box in the bed. The truck also has a wench, a gun rack
(of corse), big ole tires, and an ooogah horn. Maynard has been married 4
times and spends a lot of time on adventures to get away from his ex-wives.
He dosen't have any kids though. (maybe he IS smarter than we give him credit
for) His favorite weapon is the pick handle. He likes to sit by the fire;
while on an adventure, after a day of whippin ass, and sop grease from the
skillet with buttered bread. Also durin an adventure, he wears headphones
so he can listen to Hank Jr while he's fightin. Well that pretty much covers
I'll send you another one soon, okay?
Talk to you later,
-Back to the Guild-