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This is Uncle Buford again. I couldn't find the link where people write in and tell about games they played. But, I do want to tell you about a character here in the mountians that was one of the best adventurers that we ever saw. As I explained in my other letter to you, we play the game just a tad different up here. So just keep that in mind and bear with me, okay? Ya'll are in for a real treat! Here we go:

Name: Maynard Willie Mudtinkle (we call him either "Mud" or just Maynard)

Worships: Fried Pork, and Tammy Wynette

Race: They say the Mudtinkle family are a race of their own, but we're pretty sure Maynard is human.

Sex: Every Thursday when he takes Joleen Swamcrueff out. (She works at theDairy Queen)

Age 36

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 368lbs of stylin and profilin

Hair: brown, but he dyes it black like Elvis

Eyes: Brown

Abilities: like I said, we play the game just a tad different here.

Str: He can pick up a Cadillac engine all by himself (that would be good)

Dex: Even though he's just a tad overweight, he can reach down and trim his

own toenails.

Con: He's good about seein things through to the end.

Int: Well, let's see, Lord, a man can't have EVERYTHING!! He's real good lookin, does that count for anything?

Wis: He can name every tree in the woods. And he can smell shit and tell you what kind of animal left it.

Chr: Back when he was a salesman, he once sold aluminium sidin to somebody in a trailer.

HP: Now, here we call that: Bad Assness. Maynard has a bad assness factor of 93. (That's good)

Move Silently: Well, not too quiet, but it don't matter, he wants them to KNOW his bad ass is commin!

Priest Spells: Here that would be magic, right?: He's a master at the "Fart of Mirth"

Now onto some things about Maynard:

He got to be so strong workin on a hog farm. (that didn't hurt his badness either). He has a Harley, a Chevy pick up (blue ' 72 model) standard, shifter on the floor. This is his adventure vehicle.   He has all kinds of neat stuff in the big tool box in the bed. The truck also has a wench, a gun rack (of corse), big ole tires, and an ooogah horn. Maynard has been married 4 times and spends a lot of time on adventures to get away from his ex-wives. He dosen't have any kids though. (maybe he IS smarter than we give him credit for) His favorite weapon is the pick handle. He likes to sit by the fire; while on an adventure, after a day of whippin ass, and sop grease from the skillet with buttered bread. Also durin an adventure, he wears headphones so he can listen to Hank Jr while he's fightin. Well that pretty much covers Maynard.

I'll send you another one soon, okay?

Talk to you later,

Uncle Buford

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