Session 11: DNA

NOTE: Due to distance and other concerns, we switched from face to face to AIM.

GM: chetwin has pants now.... *G*
In the picture! In the picture!

Danny: Sarah, can I give myself a total visual black out using the computer?
GM: ...a total visual blackout...? i'm gonna rule no. large black spots, yes. total blackout, no.
Danny: A blank screen, layered over my normal sight, so that I can't see.
Danny: What about flashing-jumping-spinning images. Say, Shadow Saver.
Darcie: shadowsaver???
GM: *sighs* umm... *thinks*
Danny: Like Screen Saver.
GM: i get the concept danny.
Where do you want to go today?

Chetwin: "Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the communist party?" (to the hellmares)
GM: They stare at you, chet.
The one-man House Un-American Activities Committee of Amber strikes again...

Darcie: do they have dp (Dr. Pepper) in amber?
GM: LOL. not very likely.
Danny: Does carbonation even work in Amber? Maybe if you carry a soda to Amber, it automatically goes flat. Why wouldn't gunpowder work?
Darcie: but it's two different things
Danny: Sorry, too much time on Amber list.

Arwen: I do the same, by the way (the shadow alarm) for the shadow Chet and Dy are on.
Dylana: *twiddles thumbs*
GM: okay.
Dylana: *hits the snooze button* *g*

GM: all right... what ELSE are you doing?
Dylana: sleeping
Dylana: and toning out the Survivor mom's listening to in the living room
GM: not YOU
GM: the OTHER you!
Dustin: Me?
GM: no, the OTHER you!!!!
Confused yet? We are.

Arwen: I message Chetwyn.
Darcie: thought it was win?
Dustin: It is. He's just stubborn.

GM: ...a servant walks by.
Chetwin: *grabs servant by the suspenders/apron*
servant: "OH... good morning, sir. what may i do for you?"
Chetwin: Take me to your leader.
servant: "sir?" (the reference passes right by him)
Dylana: i smirk
Unfortunately, this Shadow was never exposed to the B-movie culture...

Aphrodite: "My name is Aphrodite."
Dylana: *chuckles and eyes chet w/ a sideways glance*
Chetwin: *bows* "I'm Chetwin. Nice name."

Chetwin: "We have shit going down."
Random: "So do we."
Chetwin: "We found Llewella's kid. What's your problem?"
Random: "Someone somehow managed to steal Morgenstern. I'm in the middle of sorting out what happened. Is the kid in danger? Can this wait?"
Apparently, the definition of "shit" varies from Amberite to Amberite...

Chetwin: "If you're not about to get cut to pieces, my news is bigger."
Priorities...

Alice: "I'm not sure.... he's pretty pissed."
Chetwin: "Ok...who?"
Alice: "All i DID was charge bbq to him! And it fed his daughter too!"
Dylana: "ah. HIM"
Alice: "oh. Julian."
Karma has ways of coming back to you, even if you ARE an NPC...

Dylana: "we could do the same thing we did for bastion. 'cept without the feathers"
Chetwin: "Good idea...should I call Martin?"
Dylana: "aph, can we use a lock of your hair?"
GM: LOL
Aphrodite: "I beg your pardon?"
Dylana: "lock of hair *points irritably at my hair* we need one"
Aphrodite: "Why?" *suspicious look*
Dylana: "paternity test"
Aphrodite: "What?"
Dylana: "what are you deaf?!? we wanna know who your dad is"
Aphrodite: "I do not understand."
Aphrodite: "I... see..."
GM: alice sees the armor and chuckles
Dylana: *uses sword to get 3 strands of aph's hair*
GM: she dodges.
GM: you miss.
Dylana: do i get it?
Dylana: damn
GM: no. she looks very annoyed.
Dylana: *uses a boot knife*
GM: you still miss.
Chetwin: "It's like magic, but with lots of little glass tubes. We can snag some of your hair...run it through a testing process and we'll know who your father is."
Dylana: *cuts a lock of her own hair* "like that, see?"
Aphrodite: "I do not need to know who my father is."
Dylana: *gets aph's 3 strands"
GM: Alice is laughing at you all
Chetwin: "Why not?"
Dylana: "i do"
GM: darc, you miss.
Chetwin: "Exactly."
Aphrodite: "It is not important."
Chetwin: (to Dy)
Dylana: "DAMNIT HOLD STILL!"
Dylana: "yes it is"
Aphrodite: "No. It is not."
Chetwin: "The hell it's not."
Dylana: *sigh* *walks away*
Aphrodite: "My father is not important."
Dylana: "yes he is."
Dylana: "oh yeah. you're not amberite"
Chetwin: "Ok. WHY don't you think he is? You never even met him, did you?"
Dylana: *throws a pawn* *tries for her hair as she's distracted*
Aphrodite: "No. I have not met him. But I am not interested in that side of my family."
GM: she catches the pawn and you miss.
Dylana: "we are"
Chetwin: "Why the hell not?"
Aphrodite: "That side has not tried to kidnap me."
Chetwin: "It wasn't his fault you were kidnapped. And if you've not met him, you have no reason to be so opposed to speaking to him."
Dylana: "damn. she's gotta be <b-name, i think, the fast guy>'s kid!"
GM: ...fast guy?!!?!
Dylana: "you're interested in the side that kidnapped you? you've got probs, chick"
Aphrodite: "I have no reason to be speaking to you, either."
Dylana: "b..b... b..."
Chetwin: "Dy!!!! We know she's Llewella's!! PLEASE quit insisting that she is a product of incest..."
Aphrodite: "I am interested because that is the known threat."
Dylana: "benedict!"
All that, and they had to steal a comb to get the job done.

GM: umm... no, dylana does NOT run the q-tip along the inside of aph's cheek

Chetwin: "I don't really get that...he's a Prince of Amber! He can just go down to the bbq joint and say 'I've got your tab right here'."

Alice: "I don't know... he's (Julian) in a bitchy mood."
Dylana: "that's not a new thing... in fact, that's kinda permanent"
Alice: "Well... worse than usual..."

Dustin: Please keep your hands and feet inside Amber until the session has come to a complete stop. Please return your characters to their upright and locked positions...
Please exit the session to your right... No pushing...

Dustin: The b-movie thing gave me an image of the three characters as the three stooges...
Sarah: LOL i think chet is moe
Dustin: Somehow, I think chet would be moe.
Dustin: *G* LOL
Sarah: ROTFL

Session 12: Productivity

Darcie: are we ready???
Dustin: I think so.
Danny: Is Sarah refing again?
Sarah: *chuckle*
Darcie: *glares at dust's network*
Dustin: Yes...
Sarah: *G* i think you actually got the right verb, danny...

Transformations

Darcie: dust, do you have trumps for anyone in your shadow?
Dustin: No, cause I chet can't draw them...
Dustin: er...chet or I, either.
Darcie: LOL i chet?
Dustin: Yeah...nobody wants 2 of him...
Darcie: as opposed to i dust?
GM: kinda like i ching?
Dustin: *G*
How very Zen...

Darcie: three hellmares and a horse, alice, aph, chet, and dy in the stable
GM: *nod*
Dustin: All we lack is the partridge and the pear tree...
GM: LOL that can be arranged.
So what exactly IS the Amber equivalent of Christmas?

Arwen: "Hey, Dy? Can I borrow your trump deck?"
Dylana: "no"
Arwen: "So I can keep it?"
Dylana: "what?"
Arwen: *Smiles largely* "Since you don't want it back."
Dylana: "also no"
Attempts to psyche out your companions, lesson 1...

Chetwin: to aph, *whispers* "Hey...the guy with the unfortunate hair (Martin) is from your birthplace. He knows about your mother. I'll let you talk to him alone, as soon as I can."

Arwen: "It's limiting only to be able trump you two. How am I supposed to back stab and double deal if I can only talk to you and Chetwen?"
Unsurprisingly, no one answered this one...

Arwen: "Martin? Do you have a spoon?"
Dylana: *blinks at ar*
GM: Alice hears you (Arwen) and glares.
Arwen: "You mean most people don't make trumps with spoons?"
GM: Alice is not amused.
How to piss off a descendant of Corwin, lesson 1...

Arwen: "Oh, Chetwen!"
Danny: Hold on.
Dustin: LOL Danny. I will spell the character's name ONE MORE TIME...
Darcie: hahah
GM: ROTFL
Dustin: C...H...E...T...W...I...N
GM: ROTFLMAO
Dustin: Copy/paste it to a file and just keep it up while we play, if you have to.
Darcie: lol
Dustin: Or tattoo it on your ass and get a good mirror, I don't care...
GM: ROTFLMAO!
GM: ANYWAY
Dustin: Of course, then it would be niwtehC...
GM: MOOOOOOOVING RIGHT ALONG!!!!! *G*
Dustin: Ok...I'm ready to continue now...

Dustin: Yeah...I got your challenge...
Chetwin: to ar: "Umm...later..."
Chetwin: "Maybe."
Arwen: *Puts her fists on her hips, and looks levelly at him* "Don't make me tug my braid."
Once again, the Wheel of Time rears its ugly head...

Arwen: "How do you know when you're ready (To walk the Pattern)?"
Dylana: to ar "you ask the gm"
Well, almost...

Chetwin: "There was squealing and that horse was kicking you. What gives?"
GM: He shrugs
Arwen: Was the horse a mare?
GM: you can check.
Arwen: Was it a mare? I check.
GM: yes. it is.
Arwen: I look accusingly at Carnie.
GM: Carnie tries to look innocent.
Chetwin: *looks at mare* "Carnie..." *growls*
GM: Carnie tries really, REALLY hard to look innocent.
Arwen: "If you must do that, get a bedroom or a stable."
GM: Carnie is still trying to look innocent. he is failing miserably.
Affection Carnegie style, part 1

Chetwin: "CARNIE! Promise me you'll keep your...horseflesh under control while we're here!"
Arwen: *Bursts out laughing*
GM: Carnegie looks somewhat sheepish.
Affection Carnegie style, part 2

Chetwin: "Everybody's having problems with forest-boy...I figure we ought to just let him run around and kill some animals...then he'll be less frustrated."
Dealing with Julian, part 1...

Chetwin: "Oh...if you do talk to him, make sure he understands that *I* am the main reason that you and your bowels are in the same zip code..." (to ar)
Dylana: "ahem. we"
Arwen: "I'll try and put in a good word for you, if I think it will do any good."
Chetwin: "Whatever. And yes...'we'."
Dealing with Julian, part 2...

Arwen: "When you get a chance, could you take me back to Heaven?"
Chetwin: "Yeah, yeah...right after I'm done with this micro-panty-raid..."
Amber's attempt at 'Animal House'

GM: waiter seats you all.
Danny: Including the horses?
GM: no, the horses stay outside.
Darcie: that's discrimination!!!
Call the N.A.A.H.!

Chetwin: When the waiter gets to me, I order some kind of appetizer and ale for me and alice.
Arwen: I'll order a soda I don't recognize.
GM: LOL all right.
Arwen: Whatever looks the most like root beer.
Dylana: *shakes head at ar**continues listening*
GM: okay.
Arwen: "Do I get free refills?"
Chetwin: to alice: "That ok with you?"
Alice: "Yeah... i guess... I'm not really hungry right now."
Arwen: *Blinks*
GM: the waiter has left.
Arwen: *To Dylana* "Did she just say what I thought she said?"
Dylana: *wonders at alice not being hungry*
Chetwin: *waits til ale arrives*
Dylana: ar "i'm not at all sure i just heard that"
The first sign of the Apocalypse...

GM: "done a whole lot of nothing", ms. "let's-bug-dworkin-for-an-entire-session"?

Session 13: Omens Really Did Appear

Dylana: as i was saying. i trump to Amber and get my pawn necklace
GM: umm... why? (and i actually do think that, not only do you have it, but that we'd already decided you had it)
Dylana: because i want it.
Dylana: *realizes that she's got it*
Dylana: *searches for another reason.* uuummm... i need to... get my discover card
Don't leave home without it?

waiter: "the special today is <unintelligible garble>"
Dylana: *orders the special*
GM: The waiter brings you something that resembles a cross between a Klingon dish (ie, squirmy) and a small fuzzy mammal. a pair of chopsticks are stuck in the top like antenna.
Dylana: it moves....
Dylana: "Waiter, my food is staring at me"
GM: The waiter blinks. "It has no eyes, madam."
Dylana: "Then what are those?!" *points randomly*
waiter: "garnish"
Dylana: "Well, whatever. i think it's still alive"
waiter: "the dish is, i assure you, served at the proper stage of development."
Dylana: "It's moving"
waiter: "Yes, it is."
Dylana: *cuts off a piece, walks outside and offers it to carnie*
GM: carnie gives you an inutterably odd look.
Dylana: *walks back inside* "The horse won't eat it"
Horse... Klingon... horse... Klingon... hmm.

Chetwin: "This is not news. Alice here has been seeing black rabbits."

Chetwin: Do any of us speak martin's-wack-ass-shadow-ese?

Chetwin: I open the back door and brandish bob.
GM: you brandish at a trash can.
Next time, check the alley FIRST.

Dylana: "Where the bloody hell is that bratty julian-spawned twit!"

Chetwin: I call the cops. I give them arwen's description and tell them I saw her pick about 2 dozen pockets, beat the crap out of several other victims, and traffic in illegal substances. And that she's at large near this place.
GM: you hear police sirens almost immediately.

Dylana: "chet, do you see any reason not to tell random we lost julian's brat?"
Chetwin: To dy. "YES!!! I CAN!!!!"

Dylana: *gets on loutra*
GM: loutra decides to roll.
Dylana: "Yeah, so random won't let him kill ya."
Chetwin: Get's on carnie.
Dylana: *gets off loutra*
GM: loutra rolls.
Dylana: "Are you quite done?"
GM: Loutra stands up.
Dylana: *tries to get on Loutra again* *is prepared to jump off*
GM: Loutra stands still.
Dylana: *rides around some*
GM: then bites the pony, who careens into carnie, who ALSO bites the pony.
Dylana: "DAMNIT HORSE!" *rides far away from the pony*
Chetwin: To all: "They'll find her, I'll make her bail, then maybe she'll understand that I'm still craftier, meaner, and *OW!!* Hey! All the enhanced horseflesh had better get real still, real soon!"
Ahhh.... The wonders of owning a Hellmare...

GM: *nod* right. *whines* do i really have to describe the whole thing...???
Danny: Well, I'll write up a narrative. And send it to you all.
GM: all right. jumping ahead then... walkwalkwalk, hard, etc. you're in the middle.
Danny: I assume I make it to the center intact?
GM: *blink* reread what i just posted, danny.
Danny: OKay. I catch my breath.
GM: okay. do you use a butterfly net or a fishing net? oh... sorry... *G*
The GM had chocolate. That's all there is to say.

Dustin: OOC How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of the pattern?
Dustin: Further OOC: We could ask remora's owls.
Dustin: waaaaay OOC "Ah-one...ah-two...ah-*SCRUNCH* *chetwin wipes off bob. "Stupid owl."*

GM: right. neway. you are now both at corwin's pattern, watching alice poke a pond with a stick.
Later...
Chetwin: *whispers*"If she's fishing, she's doing it wrong."
Later...
Chetwin: *strolls up to alice* "If you're doing something arcane with this pond, I'll not disturb you...but if your just screwing around by it to clear your mind, skipping rocks would probably work better."
Later...
GM: she chuckles. "No, not really either. just... stirring the waters, as it were."

Danny: Is the amulet trump to Delwyn's open again?
GM: IN
Danny: Ah.
GM: D-E-L-W-I-N.
Danny: Delwin.
GM: straight from Zelazny's mouth!!! *g*
En, in, and yn are not interchangeable.

Chetwin: "Dy's back there. She followed you. I wouldn't have, but she got curious. Just think of it as the tragic flaw in her hero's character."
Dylana: "I'll take that as a compliment"

Dylana: to chet: okay, i've been thinking. Arwen cannot have gone too far in the time it took us to discover the lack of her... but we couldn't find her. so... do we know what trumps she had? answer at your leisure"
Chetwin: "Did she still have that f*cking amulet?"
Dylana: "yes" *pause*
Chetwin: "SHIT!!!!"
Dylana: "shit... do we know what trumps were in there?"
Ahh... the dawn of understanding...

GM: ar - your door comes crashing down.
GM: it's chetwin. he looks pretty pissed.
Arwen: "Just five more minutes."
Chetwin: I pull her out of bed and hurl her at the wall.
That's one hell of an alarm clock.

Dylana: the f*ck you think you are, SARG???
GM: you hear footsteps outside, in the hallway. followed by a "what the F*CK?!"
Chetwin: I sheathe bob.
Dylana: err. i pull out my trumps
GM: *crunchcrunch* "The HELL?!" from the hallway
Dylana: "shit"
Chetwin: I step outside. Who is it?
Dylana: what's in the hallway? *looks*
Arwen: Sounds' like Random.
GM: kaylana. she's looking at the hole where you busted through the door.
Arwen: Oh.
Dylana: at least we didn't blow up anything
Dylana: oh.
Kaylana: "Chetwin? what the F*CK is going ON?!"
Dylana: shit
Kaylana: "You know Dad's gonna kill you if you made that huge f*cking hole in that door, right?"
Kaylana: "Or at least make you pay for it?"
There are only SO many renovations/repairs one can make to a palace...

Dylana: "he did it!" *points* *realizes she's in amber* "free at last!!" *runs away*

Kaylana: She shakes her head. "Amazing. Was it REALLY necessary to knock down the door on the way in?"
Chetwin: "Yes. Part of the effect."
Chetwin: "That, and I was very pissed off."
Note the order here.

Dylana: ooc- digit look... "familiar"?
GM: LOL. not completely.
Dylana: so...sorta?
GM: *g*
Bastards? In Amber? What a concept!

Arwen: And she spends quite a while learning trump, during which I wake up.
GM: whoa. you're making assumptions, danny-dear.
Danny: Of course.
GM: you should know better by now.
Later...
Darcie: so how long amber-time does all that take?
GM: about 1/2 hour
Darcie: YAY!!
Danny: Damnit, I'm probably not awake.
GM: LOL TOLD you not to make assumptions, danny!
The righteous GM

Chetwin: *looks at trump of arwen* "My kingdom for a pattern-enhanced xerox machine..."

GM: danny, HOLD YOUR HORSES!!!!!!!
Danny: *Grabs loutra*
GM: LOL
Darcie: THAT'S MY HORSE!!
GM: LOL!!!
Darcie: and watch out, he bites. and rolls
No, no, no... HORSE. not Hellmare!

GM: okay. anyone of the two CONSCIOUS ppls doing anything besides laughing at the unconscious one?

Chetwin: "How are your sleep patterns, these days?" (to the stuttering one)
guard: "f-f-f-fine, sir..."
Chetwin: "Well, then. You were obviously sleeping like a baby, when someone infiltrated this palace."
guard: "Sir?"
Dylana: *trumps chet*
Chetwin: "Or else you were too busy screwing one or both of my closest kin."
guard: "Sir! Not on duty!" (imagine the stuttering... PLEASE!!!)
GM: dy trump, chet
Chetwin: "Ok. Now that you're scared...I really don't care that you've been fu-Hi, Dy!"
Later...
Chetwin: "As I was saying...now that you're scared, I don't really care if you sleep with my sister and my mother...hell I care if you were screwing bastion. I just wanna know minute-by-minute, what you saw last night, on duty."
The things the son of Flora has to put up with...

Arwen: "What did they offer you?"
Dylana: "offer? they offer'd you something?!? i feel gypped!!!"
Well, we know who they consider bribable...

Random: he shakes his head. "Meanwhile, i'm going to borrow this one," waves ar's note, "and call merlin."
Chetwin: "Right. Do I have your ok to put a hook in mine and go moron-fishing?"
Random: "Hell, why not? it's more than Merlin's doing."
Is that a new Olympic sport?

Chetwin: "We have y-chromosomes, just like everybody else...only ours are uppercase Ys"
Chetwin on the male Amberite Pride and its relation to the alphabet

Chetwin: "And I have a new quest."
Dylana: uh oh. what happened to the moon?
Chetwin: "We're gonna bag one of the niall-morons. I'm going to need a metric ton of writing paper, multiple quarts of ink, lots of pens, a shovel, a net, my armor, a large inflatable dummy of myself, and possibly some beer."
Dylana: "yeah. why beer?"
Chetwin: "All the lifting, writing, digging, and stuff will make me very thirsty after a while..."
Once again, Chetwin gets his priorities straight.

Chetwin: *gets some of the religious figures to help him move his computer back to the original shadow*
Dylana: *closes contact*
Chetwin: Not buddha, though. He's too damn flabby.
Dylana: *checks up on the blessed people* (goes to heaven)
GM: chet is moving his comp
Dylana: ooc- are they still warring?
Chetwin: "Come help. These philosophers have no muscles."
GM: yes.
Dylana: *looks around* *yells loudly* GODDAMNIT CAN'T YOU PEOPLE GET ALONG?!?
Dozens of religious figures... population of Shadow people... and no one expected a holy war?!

Dylana: I AM THE BLOODY GOD!
GM: they blink at you.
Dylana: so is he. *points*
Chetwin: "Me too, but I'm not gonna get involved."
Dylana: (at chet) "and i don't give a damn who you worship"
GM: They blink at you both
Dylana: "to hell with you all!"
Chetwin: "Unless you drop my holy object. Then you get my divine wrath all over your sorry asses."
"Just" and "kind" just aren't parts of Chetwin's deific attitude.

Chetwin: "Settle for this. I won't grapple with you if you concede that I'm not trying to get in the way, and infinite Shadow is big enough for both of us."

Arwen: "What happens when you eat a trump?"
Dylana: it tastes funny....
Chetwin: "If the artist has a penchant for antique paint, you might end up in never never land."
And we all know what happens when Amberites get a little... spaced...

Chetwin: "I reiterate, however. I have computer-hauling, wrangling, and plotting to do."

GM: she shifts into a very LARGE wolf, in odd colors, and trots off.
Arwen: Cooooooool!!! I wanna learn to do that!
Oh god. That's just what we need.

Dylana: jeez. you put them in heaven and they still can't get along. damned zealots.
Dustin: LOL That's on the quotes page, for sure...
GM: LOL yup!
Of course it is!!!

Arwen: I am Arwen, daughter of Julian. Brat of Arden, and Annoyer of Corporate Executives.
Need we say more?

Dustin: My thought: "Bleys had to die, because even between the pattern, the logrus, and the new thing....the universe just can't handle bleys AND chetwin."
Dustin on his character and his metaphysical implication in Prince Bleys' death.

Session 14: Plot Soup

"So he (Julian) wouldn't hate me? Can I work my way up to indifferent?" --Darcie

Transformations

GM: *does the "i have pez and plot threads" dance*
Well, I DID!

Dylana: anyway. i trump back to my rooms in Amber
GM: er. aren't you going to MAKE that trump first...?
Dylana: oh. shit.

Chetwin: LOL While she's doing that, I look around the boardroom, going... "Falstaff?... *looks around* Where the hell is he... CRAP!"
GM: *cricket noise*
Chetwin: To the room at large. "Damn. He is in amber..."
Darcie: *laughs at Chet*

Chetwin: "Why do you need the amulet, smarty-pants? You've got the pattern up your brain now."
The images here...

Darcie: lol 12 o clock do you know where your hellmare is?

Chetwin: "No. I was highly pissed off the last time I dismounted. I wasn't really thinking about where I was going to put him (Carnegie). Has he caused serious property damage?"
More joys of Hellmare ownership, part 1

GM: *munches on pez and rubs hands together*

Dustin: *flashing lights & beeping-PLAYER BLEEDING INTO CHARACTER ALERT- flashing light & beeping*
So who should we call: the bomb squad or the fire department?

Arwen: To the restroom.
Dylana: like hell
Arwen: "You going to follow me there, too?"
Dylana: yes
Arwen: "You going to make sure I don't hurt myself flushing the toilet?"
Chetwin: I would like to mention, at this juncture, that the denizens of shadow chetwin do not use the same sort of facilities as humans. Chet's personal RR is the only normal one.

Chetwin: *yells through the bathroom door* "You babysit for a while, dy. I'm gonna go find the horses. If sand kills me, avenge my death by putting my ashes all in her wardrobe."

GM: dy. your clothes feel REALLY odd. they're full of sugar.
Dylana: sugar???
GM: sugar
Dustin: OOC- She is sweet, for an amberite...but that's not really the same thing...

Dylana: are these new clothes sugar-free?
GM: yes. and lower in fat.
GM: oh. sorry.
Dylana: oh good. fattening clothing is...
No, this is not an Equal commercial... it really was germane... sorta...

Danny: Does this dress make my ass look fat?
GM: i dunno. why is it on your donkey?
Yet more Amber jokes...

Chetwin: *whistles* "Carnie? Sorry I ran out like that, buddy. I'm tired of this chopper...and it's sputtering. Forgive me?"

Chetwin: "Hello. I'm looking for my hellmare. You were very profane and not very full of information... now you're here. What's the word?"
And this is the aunt he's afraid of...

Chetwin: "Gotta go. Being sniffed."
...By a large horse...

GM: chet - she turns to you. "You've been chasing some Chaosites?!"
Chetwin: "Yes. They have been killing amberites, kidnapping amberites, and trying to kill me. Strangely enough, I did not think to consult the horses before vowing extremely bloody vengeance."

Dylana: "how's falstaff, speaking of chet?"
Alice: *blinkblink* "falstaff?"
Dylana: "the hairy red guy chet hired. chet left him in amber doing... something"
Alice: "umm... hairy red guy? Oh shit."
Dylana: "what?"
Alice: "Umm... i just realized that Grandmother and Granddad are in Amber right now..."
Dylana: "oh. shit!!!"
Dylana: "ummm... shit! thanks for the info. umm... hmm... thanks..." *closes* *trumps at chet*
That would be Ellyn... and Corwin... and a medium-sized red fuzzy guy...

Chetwin: "Sand's putting in a take-out order for 2 hellmares. Hold the onions."
Dylana: "umm, do you think Carnie'd take well to being ketchuped?"
Chetwin: "About as well as Loutra'd take to tartar sauce... Horseradish, even."

Danny: I greet the person who looks to be a Corwinspawn.
GM: *dingdingding* give that character fifty pounds and a bonk on the head

Chetwin: "Do you think the dirty-dozen-with-hooves would accept a formal offer of alliance from Amber/Random?"

Arwen: "Who might you be?"
GM: "Ellyn. You're... *pause* You've probably heard this way too much, but... you're the new one, right?"
She's been there too...

Dylana: "i take that as a no. if you meet a guy in black and silver whose face, upon seeing you, turns about your shade... that's corwin"
This was said to Falstaff... you know, the medium-sized red fuzzy guy...

GM: Carnie comes through, followed by Loutra. Loutra bites carnie.
Chetwin: to horses: "Ok soldier-boys. Promise you'll tell us BEFORE you leave if your leave gets cancelled?"
GM: carnie careens across the stable aisle and makes loud noises
Dylana: lol *blink* "was that fun, loutra?"
Chetwin: "Hey! No biting! Jeeeezzz...just because he did better in basic training..."
GM: carnie squeaks as he runs into a stall door.
Dylana: oh kay
Chetwin: *grabs carnie* "Get a grip!"
GM: carnie looks at you, chet. then he pulls loose and casually walks over and kicks loutra in the ribs. Loutra, in turn, makes loud noises.
Dylana: *moves loutra away from carnie*
Chetwin: "Ok...I want some kinda answer as to why you pissy mounds of horse-flesh are feuding!!"
GM: LOL. carnie looks annoyed.
Chetwin: "Both of you! Stamp once if it's over a filly! Stamp twice if it's some obscure hellmare shit that us two-leggers wouldn't understand!"
GM: no stamps from loutra, 3 from carnie
Chetwin: "I wasn't finished, wonder-horse. I take it that you were answering my '3 times if you made a pass at loutra.'"
GM: carnie looks extremely annoyed
Chetwin: "Ok. Stamp once if it's about this chaosite shit."
GM: silence
Chetwin: "Stamp twice, if it ain't, then just quit fighting, cause I could seriously GIVE A SHIT right now."
GM: two stamp from loutra. carnie sticks his nose out and lays his chin on your shoulder. he's breathing in your ear.
Chetwin: "That tickles, genius. I'll be back soon, but I gotta talk to the king about your fellow... upgraded equines."
GM: carnie snorts. it sounds like you have a wind tunnel in your ear.
Chetwin: *wipes snot out of ear*
Danny: Wind tunnel? How so?
GM: imagine lungs about the size of your upper torso expelling into your ear.
More wonders of owning a Hellmare, part 2...

Dylana: "arwen trumped corwin. she claims ellyn gave her the trump"
Chetwin: "Did it occur to you to ask ellyn if this is true?"
Dylana: "yes, but i'm busy trumping you"
Dylana: *trumps ellyn now*
GM: your logic is impeccable, as always, darc

Chetwin: "Heh. Walking will do him good. And it's been days since he's heard elevator music. He's probly in withdrawal."
Again with Falstaff, the - say it with me - medium-sized red fuzzy guy...

Chetwin: "I think that the hellmares feel a bit excluded at not being recognized as a real state... like begma or eregnor. It might help if you extended a formal declaration of alliance with them. Sand would pass it along. I mentioned it to her."
Random: "A formal alliance? With the Hellmares?" *looks a bit skeptical*
Chetwin: "See? That incredulous make-diplomatic-overtures-with-HORSES? look is why they don't like us much."

Dylana: *trumps chet to ask him if he knows anything about that*
GM: he's on trump. you get a cosmic busy signal. *doot doot doot doot doot doot*
Pez? WHAT Pez?

Chetwin: "Ok. That's kinda what I figured was going on. I'll keep in touch, unless they kill me."
Oh really?

Chetwin: "To answer your question: No. Sand would not have closed it off to everybody BUT the amberites."

Chetwin: "We don't want to imprison them. They are fighting the same enemy as us... they're just being arrogant about it."
GM: *snigger - cougharrogantcoughamberitescough - snigger*
I said nothing... :)

Arwen: "What about the Jewel of Judgment? There's probably some cool tricks Random can do with that. Eric used it pretty effectively against Corwin and Bleys. Maybe it can be used to get into the shadow."
Chetwin: "Do your homework. It's in someone's orbit at the moment."
Arwen: "What? It's in space?"
Chetwin: "NO! Webster's definition 2...the EYE SOCKET!!!!"
Arwen: "Really? Weird. How'd it get there?"
Chetwin: "Surgery...sort of...it's rammed up coral's head."
She read (half of) the chronicles... in character...

And, at the request of certain players I could mention...
"GMs don't have bad stuff!" --Sarah, while playing an evil arcade game

"Chaos... where your food is as likely to bite you as you are to bite it." --Darcie