Session 15: "The game is afoot."

Transformations

Chetwin: To carnie "Hey, dumbass! What the hell!??"
GM: carnie looks at you. he seems to be trying to hide something in the straw in his stall
Chetwin: "Let's have it, carnie."
GM: he's trying REALLY hard to hide it. you're prolly gonna have to go in to get it.
Chetwin: "Awwwwww...looks like I found my unicorn-day present..." I clear the straw away with bob.
GM: you find a bottle.
Chetwin: Does it say "drink me"? I pick it up.
GM: no... it has no label. it's filled with a clear liquid of some kind
Chetwin: I open it and VERY gingerly sniff at it.
GM: it smells like somewhere around 100-proof alcohol
That's some present!

Chetwin: "Whatup with the everclear, carnie?"

Dylana: "Carnie, do we need to get you enrolled in horsie-AA?"
Well, you already called the N.A.A.H. on his behalf...

Chetwin: "Carnie...this is one of those glass-is-half-EMPTY moments..."
Dylana: "no, more like 3/4 empty"

GM: you hear a hiccup... from Loutra
Dylana: *spins around*
GM: Loutra hiccups again.
Dylana: "LOUTRA?!?"
GM: Loutra blinks at you. then he hiccups again.
Dylana: "Loutra are you drunk?"
That's some present...

Chetwin: "Wait a sec...you were just getting giggles over there smashed?"
Dylana: "carnie, why did you get my horse drunk?"
Ahh... Hellmares... Never a dull moment.

Chetwin: "Good one, carnie." *wipes off the bottle with a sleeve and takes a small swig*
GM: it burns like hell going down.
Dylana: even to an amberite?
Chetwin: *gags* "Hmmm....that would be the horse-saliva."
Or maybe the alcohol...? Nah. Couldn't be.

Chetwin: *sticks a cigar in carnie's mouth and lights it* "There...now you're really rebellious."
GM: carnie tries to stare at it around his nose, with mixed success. he does puff a bit, though.
Chetwin: "Ok. Cool. Horse likes the stogie." *puts saddle on carnie*

Dylana: "Know of any good horse detox? Loutra's drunk. Should i just ask Random?"
Sand: "What?!"
Dylana: "Loutra's smashed. passed out in his stall."
Sand: "Your Hellmare is DRUNK? How?!"
Dylana: "yes. *looks unamused* Carnie was hiding a bottle of pure ethanol in the hay in his stall. carnie, btw, is sober."
Sand: "... That's impressive. I didn't know you could get them drunk... " *looks at the horse behind her consideringly* "Don't ask me how to sober them up... I doubt a cold shower will do much good."
Sobering up, part 1

Dylana: "Random... Loutra's drunk. How do you get people un-drunk? I assume that x100 =horsey detox"
Random: "What? How the... Never mind."
Dylana: "<inserts story here>"
Random: "I think i'd just let him sleep it off, actually. Not too sure if human remedies would work on a horse."
Dylana: "Human ALCOHOL did..."
Sobering up, part 2

Chetwin: "I think I have an answer to the loutra problem...but you're not really gonna like it."
Dylana: "shoot. ahem. i mean..."
Chetwin: "The only thing I know of is to put a VAT of water in front of him and put HIM in front of a gutter."
Dylana: "lol. random suggested i let him sleep it off"
Chetwin: "And let nature take its course... In this case, the word course may be used in the same way as the course of the GANGES RIVER..."
Sobering up, part 3

Dylana: "ah. cool. any other suggestions?:"
Chetwin: "Hmmm...if he's still got some of the stuff in his guts, you might want to encourage vomiting."
Dylana: *makes a face* "no thanks."
Sobering up, part 4

Chetwin: *pulls her through and sets her on my desk*
GM: dy is now sitting on chet's desk...
Chetwin: "Hmmmm...polynesian paperweight?"
Dylana: *mutters* "yeah. right."
Chetwin: "Yeah, yeah. While you're on my desk, hit the speakerphone button."

Chetwin: *adds an item to the list of stuff I need: a sherlock holmes outfit in garish red and blue*

Danny: I missed the intro of Chetcave.
GM: ER?
GM: na nanana na nanana chet-CAAAAAAAAAVVVVEEEEEEEE
Danny: Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah -Chet Man! Chet Man! Chet Man! Dah dah dah dah...

GM: and the beer seems to have gotten detained somewhere along the elevator shaft
Chetwin: "Damn. Oh well...I probably shouldn't really drink after even a sip of carnie's special brew..."

Dylana: "Carnie can handle us riding double like a bat outta hell if necessary, right?"
Chetwin: "Only if he's as scared as we are."

mauveguy (Chaosite) ("mg"): "I see. And are you expected by anyone?"
Chetwin: "The big horned-beast himself. Just tell him I'm here."
mg: "I beg your pardon? If you are referring to King Merlin, that is a HIGHLY disrespectful form of address."
Chetwin: "Merlin. The large cheese. Chief among the gooey people."
And he wonders why he doesn't get very far sometimes...

Chetwin: "Hmmm...they seem to be out-doing us in the stupidest front-door lackey dept."

Chetwin: "I've got a crowbar in my saddlebags, buddy...just in case." (before he leaves)
Dylana: *elbows chet*
Chetwin: "No, no...it's just cause I figure he's having a hard time pulling those horns outta his ass."

GM: carnie, by the way, has found some odd-looking chaos version of a potted plant to gnaw on.
Chetwin: "Carnie...don't come crying to me if that thing crawls back out your nose later on..."

mg: *glares at Carnie* "I would appreciate it if you refrained from eating the ornaments."
Dylana: *just barely keeps a chuckle in check* "chet, your horse is gnawing on the adornments... "
Chetwin: "Hey...pssst...carnie...wait 'til they're not watching..."

Chetwin: "Hmmmm...I'll need a place to change."
Merlin: "change?"
Chetwin: "Yeah." *puts on sherlock-hat* "The game is afoot."
Dylana: *shakes head*
GM: he does the whole "oh my god... how did i get into this?" expression for a second.
Elementary, my dear Merlin...

GM: b/c if you start flooding again, we're all coming to garland with pitchforks and torches.
GM: and it won't be for a barn raising
Danny: You'll come see me?!?
Dustin: LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
GM: umm... well...
Darcie: NOT WHEN I'M TRYING TO SWALLOW MY DP!!

Dylana: "chet, how do you expect to go niall hunting in that? you stick out like a sore thumb as it is"
GM: Carnie gives you an insulted look, dy.
Dylana: for what? ...oh
Chetwin: "I'm only gonna wear this for the interrogation, Watson."
Dylana: *pats carnie* "not you. you're a cute horse."
Dylana: "Ahem. I am *NOT* watson."

Chetwin: I nod at it. "Please, have a seat. I'm from the other end of the universe and I want to give you the third degree and play the good-cop-bad-cop routine and possibly slap you around and get you to give me information."
Dylana: "guess who's the good cop."
Chetwin: "Of course, watson. You don't have an evil bone in your body."
Dylana: *glares at chet*
I think someone read one too many classic crime books...

Danny: "This is our police trump artist. I want you to describe the man who killed your wife and children, and [the artist] will try and make him appear in front of us."

Chetwin: "The king-job must have crappy hours...cousin. Ever get much vacation time?"
Merlin: "You kidding? This IS vacation."
Any time you get to observe Chet in his... hmm... natural habitat, shall we say, you're on vacation.

Dylana: *informs Merlin that Chet's trying to sell him ocean front property in Arizona.*

Darcie: camp david in chaos, anyone...

Loring: *gets up and does an inspection tour around carnie, who is trying the flavor of the upholstery on the couch.*

Chetwin: (from time to time I pace the room and take large puffs from my cigar...when I ask a new question, I start it with my back to him, then I spin on my heel and stare at him)

GM: Dy - Merlin looks at you and whispers, "He's always like this?"
Dylana: to m: "no, i'm surprised. He's been fairly kind to this one."
Merlin: *snicker*
Dylana: to m: "Usually, by this point, he's either red in the face, got them red in the face or trying to run, or all of the above..."

GM: A familiar blue-and-green head pokes in.
Dylana: "LOUTRA! you're sober!"
GM: His ears are absolutely flat on his head, and he's giving carnie the evil eye.
Dylana: *goes to horse* *patpatpat*
Sobering up, part 5

GM: Carnie is trying to hide behind a piece of furniture. And failing.
Dylana: *chuckles* "carnie, you're large and red & blue. It ain't workin'."

Session 16: Coming Back

Transformations

Danny: Equal acknowledgment for petunias!

Chetwin: "It is crowded in here...and no matter how civilized you think you are, you still smell like horse-ass."
Hellmare ownership can be a beautiful thing... sometimes.

GM: "Arwen... I only have a moment." it's Delwin.
Chetwin: Oh yeah...he's got a REALLY full schedule... He has to go sit on his ass for a while, then he has a pressing appointment to cower somewhere.
Respect? Elders? What?

Chetwin: "Ok. Who are you, what did you do for the jackasses in question, what is your shoe size, can you grow wings, do you know how to fire a rifle, do you know what a hellmare is, and please answer all these questions in the order that I asked them...within 30 seconds."
Peregrine: "My name is Peregrine, I was the diplomat for the House, 13, no, what is a rifle, no, and is that short enough?
Chetwin: "Hmmmm...extremely short...size 13...I guess that size-of-your-feet thing is even a myth in chaos."
Bad Chaos jokes, just for variation...

Dylana: "Don't mind my friend. He's... tactless"
Chetwin: "And yes...I am."
Darcie: ooc- lotsa wit. not a shred of tact

Danny: I try Ellen.
Danny: I mean Alice.
Dustin: Who is ellen? We know an ellYn...
GM: ...thank you, dust. i wasn't gonna say it...
Sooner or later...

Arwen: Is it amulatory?
Dustin: add a "b" there, danny... Cause you just asked if it was on a chain...

Dustin: Shadow of the giant beanies!

Dustin: Heh...now I'm trying to imagine the insanity that would have ensued, had corwin done a jane fonda workout every time he was laid up...
Feel the burn!

Chetwin: "Anybody else, merlin? Or can we move along to more pressing matters. Such as my bladder."
Priorities...

Chetwin: "Wait...we were only harassing the gene therapists, before...weren't we? Or did I have your whole medical staff going full-tilt..."
Martin: "A bit of both, actually. They're not amused. That, and I'm afraid Aphrodite and I got wasted and killed a few..."
Chetwin: "You first...whaaaaa? You slaughtered some of your docs?"
Martin: "Don't even ask. Because I'm not sharing THAT story with anyone. It was an accident."
Chetwin: "Ahh. Well...If you're interested in giving it a whirl, I'll be prepped and ready to start cutting in a little while. I have to go catch the patients."
How to focus on revenge...

Chetwin: "Yeah...I know. Life's a bitch..I'd invite you to the murder, but this is between brothers."
The motto of every male Amberite...

GM: you pass a pile of blue goo.
Chetwin: "DAMN!" I go back and inspect the goo.
GM: it pulses at you.
Chetwin: I stab it repeatedly with bob.
GM: nothing happens. Kaylana walks up while you're poking it.
Kaylana: "What the hell is that?"
Chetwin: I make sure that a sizable blob of it remains in bob. "I have no idea." *lifts bob's point up and inspects it* "I was hauling ass to the pattern room...and I pass this stuff. Hmmm...can you get somebody to look at it? I have to walk the pattern real quick..."
Well, they're both blue...

GM: the blue stuff looks somewhat like blue jello.
J-E-L-L-O!

Chetwin: "Ok...take me there...and what is more, take me right up to bastion...behind him, to be very precise."
GM: it fizzles at you, chet.
Chetwin: "Hey! I gave you an order, dammit! You are a computer, just like my own...in fact as a royal, I own shares of YOU. Do it!"
GM: it fizzles, then gets bright.
Chetwin: "F*ck. It is under the delusion that it is pissed off." I trump out...to my shadow.
GM: all right. it lets you.
Chetwin: It LETS me?
What hubris?

GM: tabby shows up with a large bird in her mouth.
Dylana: "Up to running around lotsa places?"
Tabby: "Sure. Why not? Let me finish dinner first." *chews on the bird.*
Dylana: "at your leisure, dear."
Tabby: "Always."
Dylana: "*mutter* felines."
Large panther. Nuff said.

GM: tabby is dumping feathers at your feet, by the way.
Dylana: "Thanks tabby. much appreciated"
Tabby: "Good."

Tabby: "Why is it wearing armor? For that matter, why are YOU wearing armor?"
Dylana: "because we're not as cool as you, and like i said, there are shooty things flying around"

Dylana: "DAMNIT RANDOM! YOU'RE THE KING! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ALL THE BLOODY ANSWERS! "
Random: "*blinks at you*"
Dylana: "You can handle kidnapping and rebellion, but you don't know how to pacify hellmares? sheesh.. i might have an idea. i'll get back in touch with you"
Random: "*gives you an odd look* *mutters something about pms*"
Intelligent horses weren't in the job description...

Danny: Do Amberite's even have PMS?
Darcie: i would assume. look at deirdre

Dylana: "tabs, can you divine what the hell is going in with these bloody enhanced equines?"
Tabby: "Do I have to?"
GM: you hear her say "Come here, you stupid horse."
GM: Loutra gives her an annoyed look.

Chetwin: "Somebody herded MY horse! LOTS of people are gonna die...my hit list just KEEPS growing..."

GM: k. Dworkin and Dorian are sitting in front of a chessboard. Dorian's got a black piece in his hand.
Dworkin: "Are you sure you want to use that one?"
Dorian: "Her hand is not yet played out."
Dworkin: "She is not intact."
Dorian: "Yes, she is. Have you spoken with your wife recently?"
Dworkin: "Remember Patternfall?"
Dorian: "Yes. Do you, Old Man?"
Dworkin: "You picked that up from Sand, didn't you?"
Dorian: "Yeah. You caught me. *sheepish grin*"
GM: he puts the piece next to another black piece, one engraved with a silver rose.
Dworkin: "Corwin won't be happy."
Dorian: "Neither will his children."
Dustin: Can I tell what the piece dorian had looks like?
GM: it's black, with perhaps a rim of silver.
Chetwin: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh shit..........."
Darcie: WHAT'S THAT PIECE MEAN! WHY'S OUR GM LAUGHING MANIACALLY?!?!?
GM: the image focuses on that piece, then fades away.
Danny: Some people have obviously caught something I haven't.
Darcie: who's black rimmed silver????
Dustin: If you want to know my opinion...
Danny: Alice?
GM: go ahead and share, dust. it can't hurt.
Dustin: Alice...or the one that fell in the abyss...
Darcie: what?
Danny: Missed anything about someone falling in the abyss.
Dustin: "not intact" and "remember patternfall" are scary phrases there...and "Corwin won't be happy"
Darcie: huh?!??
Danny: Oh yeah. Gah!!!!!!
Darcie: damnit shed the light! ooooohhh shit
Danny: But she promised no reses!
GM: i changed my mind.
Darcie: YAY!!!!!
Dustin: There! I knew you'd get it, darc. *G*
Dustin: YAY??!!!! We don't want her running around in the land of the living!
Darcie: yeah, but if she'll do one resurrection, perhaps she'll bring back others...
Dustin: I, for one, say "PUT-HER-BACKIN! PUT-HER-BACK-IN! SHE SCARES ME!"
Don'tcha just love resurrecting Deirdre?

Dylana: "hungry? "
Tabby: "Of course."
Dylana: "i'm sure we can obtain a giant-size can of cat food *teasing grin*"

Chetwin: I crack some horse skull, then do a chetwin-has-left-the-bldg.

Chetwin: SHIT! He's making us find a big-ass-mean-ass-grey-ass needle in a horse-stack.
Where's Waldo- I mean... Morgenstern

GM: *laughs demonically* *eats a cookie* *stops*
Dustin: *tries to imagine you eating a cookie before you've stopped laughing..."

Chetwin: "Three things...1. I THINK I know the general area where morgenstern is. 2. you are not gonna like this. 3. It is not my fault. Wanna come see?"
Ways to pacify Julian, lesson one

Chetwin: "Ok. Watch this..." *opens a shadow-door-thing so we can look into the joint with the gray horses*
Chetwin: But it's one-way. None of them get to squirt out.

Chetwin: "Oh...and I REALLy hope I haven't hurt yours. They attacked me and I had to break a few of them."
Julian: "He was not among them. The only Family member he attacks is Corwin. *smirk*"
Ahhh, family values...

Darcie: my sources indicate... sorry. no magic 8 balls.

Chetwin: "Well...shit. Ok. There's still some stuff I can do. Wanna come to my place? We can have a really stiff drink and track morgenstern on a 22 inch screen."
Ways to pacify Julian, lesson two

Tabby: "You want me to find a KID? Do i get to eat it afterwards?"
Dylana: NO!!!!!
Tabby: "WHy not?"
Dylana: "you've just eaten!"
Tabby: "So?"
Dylana: "because you can't just go around eating people. it's just not very civil."
Tabby: "So?"
Dylana: *blinks at tabby* "he's important. he stays intact"
Tabby: "So?"
Dylana: "we can go food-hunting elsewhere"
Tabby: "But!"
Felines... Can't live with them...

GM: dy - you end up down on a certain "Sea Breeze Lane"
Dylana: i don't figure it'll be a deal. i'm armored and there's a large feline walking with me. i keep looking

Dustin: YOU need to get the award for endurance AND sprint GM-img.

"As an Amberite, Ander is kind of like tapioca... you know, it starts out deadly, and then you cook it twice and it's not any more." --Dustin

Session 17: A Bird in the Hand...

Sarah: WAGNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darcie: that's surreal, sarah
Danny: Very Amberesque.

Sarah: WAGNER!!!!!!!
Dustin: Don't be rude. It sounds almost obscene, when you follow it by "!!!!!!!!"

Transformations

Arwen: "Dylana." *Nods exactly as low as protocol would expect*
Dylana: "oh gods. y'know, all that shit flora teaches is jack shit, and if you ever nod-bow at me again, i'll hinder your further abilities to do so."
Respect for the elders? Where?

Dustin: Oh...julian will not like the falstaff-drink...it is basically a bitter-tasting mint-julep. That's why I had the guy leave the whiskey.
Most people would have forgone step one...

Dustin: Hmmm...I'll bet you dollars to pesos that they were singing the "Ballad of the water-crossers"

Arwen: "I may wish to help you. Is there a way I may reach you, or will I just find you here with signs?"
surgeon: "I will be here until Martin consents to explain his actions and proceed in some plan of repentance!"
GM: all the surgeons around him go "hear hear!"

Digit: "Hey! why're you talking to that cat?"
Dylana: *looks at digit* Tabby talks back.
Digit: "Oh?" *pats tabby* "Nice kitty."

Arwen: "Did you get drunk and kill your employees?"
Martin: "Umm... yeah."
Arwen: "Don't you think that was a little irresponsible of you?"
GM: he looks sheepish
Martin: "Don't start with the morality."
Arwen: "I didn't say immoral, I said irresponsible."
Yeah, like SHE'S a pillar of responsibility...

Dustin: I was just waiting...and being highly amused. I start tracking the gray-ass beast.

Dylana: "so, anyway, a couple of friends and i are trying to save amber from plotting chaosites, and i was wondering if Digit could come with..." no, i don't say that. well, let's assume i did say that... would they let him run around with us?
GM: LOL. you gotta ask
Dylana: fine. i ask.

Dylana: *chuckles at digit* *thinks at tabby* "He could ride you... he's small enough"
Tabby: "Don't even THINK about it!!!!!"

Dylana: "polynesian paperweight, magic fingers... yup. i'm multitalented"
Isn't self-confidence a wonderful thing?

Chetwin: "Oh...yeah. Before you trump me, check on carnie."
Dylana: *closes contact before he can ask me to bathe the horse too*

Dylana: "Digit, you up for bathing? The feline one's delicate nose is offended."

Chetwin: "Ok. We'll have a trump of this place just as fast as our polynesian wonder can get her fingers in gear. We can do some quick and dirty plotting, while she's at it."

Chetwin: "Whaddya say the two of us just storm the place? Maybe we can bring some lackeys along to clear the bodies from our wake...and occasionally tell us how incredibly badass we are...damn...trump."

Kaylana: "Ah... Well, just sorta a 'kids-only' meeting... no elders... or rather, no responsible people... which would mean all the elders, merlin, and rinaldo, and jessica, i suppose."
Not exactly an encouragement to attend...

Chetwin: "Ok. In that case, I need to be something of a key-note speaker. Most of the shit that is going down is trying very very hard to fall on me and my circulatory system. I'll pencil it in for immediately-post-ass-walloping...that ok with you?"

Chetwin: "Righto...and keep an eye on the goo...in case it's a chaosite." *closes contact*
Covering all the bases...

Chetwin: "Groovy. You wanna come kill with us? Family bonding and flying innards?"
It's just like a reunion!

Dylana: "oh. fair warning. i've got digit in tow."
Chetwin: "Who? Ok...I guess I've seen him...he's that adorable urchin that smells like peat moss - on a good day. I just slated him as male-in-the-palace-but his-nads-haven't-dropped-yet-so-mom & sis-aren't-on-him-yet. What's your deal with him?"
Dylana: "curiosity"
Chetwin: "Of what nature, pervo? I refer you to the nads-haven't-dropped-yet section of my comment."
Dylana: "he's amusing. figured we could show him how to kick chaos ass... and find out who he's related to while we're at it"
Chetwin: *gets look of oh-it-is-now-dawning-on-me-that-digit-is-family-looking*
Amazing, isn't it, the blind spots some Amberites can have?

Chetwin: "Go get him some pint-sized armor. Try the nursery or something. And check on carnie...then call me back again."

Dylana: *checks on carnie*
GM: Carnie is still looking pathetic, but is much improved.
Dylana: *pats carnie*
GM: he gives you a pathetic look
Dylana: "feelin' better?"
GM: he nods
Dylana: "why can't you be this tame when you're healthy?"
I never said "hellmare" and "tame" were synonyms...

Dylana: "aidan, does the phrase "aidan's trying to lend out my hellmares" mean anything specific?"
Aidan: "Heh. Yeah, that's just Mom being weird again. *smile*"
As the son of Sand shows he has NO fear of his mother...

Chetwin: "Yeah...think about how he has family look about him. I'm annoyed that I didn't see it earlier. AND the little bastard is contaminating dy's character with maternal instincts...I was REALLY making progress with her, too."

Chetwin: I lead him into the boardroom...which would be occupied. To the board: "Hi. This is my uncle. Make nice."
Giving Julian the grand tour, part 1

Dylana: "Hi! how long would it take you to brew up digit sized armor?"
Martin: "Digit? Why do you want armor for your fingers and toes?" *blinks at digit* "Oh. that kid that's always running around the palace."
And, again, blind spots...

Martin: "Fortunately, the armorers didn't go on strike... Umm... I'm not sure; they'd have to measure him and tell me."

Martin: "Damnit. The whole family is going to know about this before the week is out, at this rate. *sigh* I kind of killed some of the docs. Well, me and Aphrodite."
Dylana: "martin? what have i told you about killing your shadow denizens? It doesn't' tend to go over well, and then you have to go out and look for new shadow denizens..."
Martin: "I didn't intend to. We... kind of... *looks sheepish* got drunk and killed them."
Dylana: "GOT DRUNK? Jeez. with aph? tell me you didn't breed?"
Martin: "WHAT?! NO!!!!!!!"

Chetwin: "Well, have you tried that preliminary plan that I wanted to form a sub-co-committee between your design center and the cellular-med-tech teams and genetic research facilities alpha through epsilon? It would just be a little bit of brainstorming..." *sigh* "You didn't get that memo?"
r&d guy: "No, sir. But we'll get right on it."
Chetwin: "Basically, I want you to see if there is any merit in a biological-based engine, basically an organism that will act as an engine. Preferably very squelchy and possibly pulsating. Oh...and you'd have to make sure its metabolism ran according to those combustion specs I gave you...that's why the sub-co-committee will have to have two sub-sub-co-committees..."
GM: the r&d guy is taking notes
Chetwin: "...actually, three committees...one to design the engine's physical parts- composed of your team and the musculature-pathology experts...one to engineer the metabolism and shit-factory...and one to coordinate the efforts of the other two."
r&d guy: *scribblescribble*
Chetwin: "Oh...and make sure to destroy any of the preliminary engine prototypes that may turn into hideous killing machines. On second thought...don't destroy them, just lock them up and create a fourth committee, dedicated to refining and controlling their killing capabilities."
Julian's grand tour, part 2: Weapons Design

Dylana: *out of dig earshot* "can you find out who he's related to? or did you kill some of those, too?"
Martin: "*sigh* well, it's going to be a hell of a lot harder... er... yeah. kindof."
Dylana: "WHAT?"
Martin: "It was an ACCIDENT!"
Dylana: "martin! shit! you're worse than arwen!"
No comment...

Arwen: "And if you're going to commit yourself to this, you have to be willing to go all the way."
surgeon: "Oh, we are. Tomorrow we begin the pamphlet campaign."
*smirk* If you know what this is a reference to, I applaud you.

Arwen: "You have enough to start a serious revolution. Unfortunately, you don't know what a revolution is."

Kaylana: "Hey. You interested in a little family get-together?"
Dylana: *blinks* "what does get together involve?"
Kaylana: "we're gonna meet up in the library and talk about the shit going down. No elders... and no responsible members of our cousins. You know... Merlin... Rinaldo... Jessica..."
Dylana: "how 'bout digit?"
Kaylana: "Digit? Oh! the kid?"
Dylana: "yeah. the kid"
Kaylana: "What, you think he's related?"
Dylana: "looked at him lately?!?"
*cough-blindspots-cough*

Chetwin: "Oh. Good. Mind if we come through? Julian is being very patient and not even complaining that my shadow is boring him out of his skull."
Julian's grand tour, part 3

Darcie: wow. are we all actually in the same place?!? weird
Dustin: LOL LOL
GM: (wow. i had to WORK the last time, to get you all in one place. now you did it ALL BY YOURSELVES!!!)
Darcie: unnatural, even

Arwen: Shouts! "Dad!"
Julian: *blinks at you*

Chetwin: "Oh...bad deal. Did you hear about the little party kaylana's planning? Us punkass youngsters are gonna build a clubhouse and hang a "No Elders Allowed" sign on it. Then we're probably gonna stick our tongues out at each other and drink kool-aid."

Sand: "Now... *grabs the halter of a fairly small black horse* This is Ciaran. He'll serve for now. Bring him - and the kid - back in one piece, huh? I'm rather fond of them."

Digit: "Hi! Got a horse for me? Cool! What's his name?"
Dylana: "Hey, Digit, Sand's lending you Ciaran here"
Digit: "Coooooool."
Dylana: *chuckles at digit* "I'm supposed to bring you and the horse back in one piece. *smile*"
Digit: *walks up to ciaran* "Hi! I'm digit. *looks conspiratorially around and stage-whispers* But that's not my real name."
Dylana: "so what is your real name?"
Digit: "Shhh!"
A prodigy of a twelve-year-old

Arwen: "When did you get the cat?"
Dylana: "Depends on what you mean. either when i was ten, or yesterday"
Arwen: "Want some tuna?"
GM: Tabby glares at you, ar
Dylana: *shakes her head at ar* "careful. she might decide she wants Brat instead of fish"
Tabby: "*sniff* no, i want to eat the little one."
Dylana: "TABBY! YOU CAN'T EAT DIGIT!"
Tabby: "Well, this one is too stringy!"

Chetwin: "Just feed the damn cat some surgeons and let's get MOVING!"

Tabby: "That makes me twitchy!"
Dylana: "what? trumping?"
Tabby: "Yes!"

Chetwin: "We are going to retrieve morgenstern and murder my brother."

Chetwin: "No...he's the guilty party. And I'm not gonna kill him, if I can avoid it...I just want a piece of his brain...and to put him in a parking garage."
Wondered about the brain surgery, didn't you?

Dylana: *thinks at tabby* "you sure you aren't hungry for brat?"
Tabby: "Too stringy."

GM: you hear loud noises from below you. *thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpCRACKthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
Julian: *looks down* "That would be Morgenstern."

Dylana: at tabby: "intending on joining us?"
Tabby: *yawn* "i suppose."

GM: blade gives morgenstern the "hey, i know you... you sired my kids!" look
Of course, Morgenstern didn't recognize her...

Chetwin: "You're welcome to stay, of course."
Julian: *smirk* "I believe i will."
Dylana: "feeling vengeful, uncle?"
Julian: *smirk*
Ask a silly question...

Tabby: *yawns and sharpens her claws on the side of the barn* "NOW can i eat the kid?"
Dylana: "no, tabs."
Tabby: "*sniff* you have no taste."

GM: you can still hear a few phrases: "have to get rid of the traitors", "went whining to the King", "interfering bastard"
Chetwin: I am suitably flattered.

Chetwin: "When you hear me scream 'Die terrorist bitch', you come out and help."

GM: no, it is most definitely not plasticy. it's a 4-armed version of scrof.
Darcie: scrof?
Danny: Scrof?
Dustin: Scrof?
GM: you know, the guy at the threshold at the keep of the four worlds?
Darcie: oh
Dustin: Ahhhhh.
Danny: Oh yeah.
I didn't think it was THAT obscure a reference!!

Chetwin: "SHIT! I'LL KILL THIS THING MYSELF! FIND THE KID!"
As Chet's fear of Sand reappears...

Chetwin: "Die, grape-shiva-thing! Die!"

GM: tabby strolls up, and does the whole nail-sharpening routine on the back of the critter. it squalls.
Chetwin: "Nice one, cat."
Dylana: "watch out for it's blood, tabs"
Tabby: "*wrinkles her nose* yeah, yeah. and tell that red and blue one that of COURSE it's a nice one!"

Arwen: I bind my wound. And try to walk it off.

Session 18: Aftermath, Before Reunion

Transformations

Chetwin: "Then, if you would, Aunt...do that voodoo that you do."

Chetwin: I walk into my office and go *sniffsniff* "I smell booze and polynesian..." *sniff* "...and feline. I do not, however smell smoke, so you have only been sitting in my chair and drinking my booze, not sitting in my chair, drinking my booze and smoking my cigars. Want a cigar?"

Chetwin: "Now get your both halves of your paperweight outta my seat."

Dylana: "we could spike the kool-aid"
Chetwin: "Heh. What makes you think it hasn't already been spiked?"
On the subject of Kaylana's planned get-together...

Chetwin: Is he getting into anything dangerous? (like my computer)
GM: no, mostly small stuff. office supplies.
Chetwin: I'm not worried about the pointy things...he supplies his own.

Arwen: I load myself up like Kyle Katarn on speed.
Well, you can tell WE play Star Wars games...

Chetwin: "Damn, kid...ummm...how about a cigar?" *offers*
Digit: "I don't want one of those... no, wait... maybe i do... i can... *trails off* *pause* *takes the cigar and sticks it in a pocket*"

Dylana: "Hey, kaylana. ready to pull off that get together you were plannin?"
Kaylana: "*chuckle* I take it chet's done being macho, then?"
Dylana: "No, but it's sort of a permanent thing with him"

Dylana: "She said she was just gonna give it a few good bites.."
Chetwin: "Did it just roll over your foot?"
Tabby: "He took away the chair!"
Chetwin: "I thought it was a f*cking chaosite."
Dylana: "She's mad that you took away the chair"
Chetwin: "I just don't have nice feelings about putting my nether regions ON a commie-terrorist."
Misunderstandings can be such a bitch.

Arwen: What are the winning numbers for the powerball?
GM: that's your question?!
Arwen: I inquire as to... "Who am I?" Followed by what am I, then where am I going.
GM: just don't expect it to tell you why you're in a handbasket.
Clarifying the point of a Trump Scry

GM: oddly enough, the manipulator card seems to be everyone's favorite luridly-dressed amberite...
Danny: Flora?
GM: *chuckle*
Danny: It's not Remora, is it?
GM: umm... no, no it's not female.
Danny: Oh.
Darcie: LURIDLY dressed.
Dustin: As in lurid COLORS.
Danny: Sorry. Read that as ludely.
Darcie: lol. ah. it all makes sense now
Indeed it does...

Chetwin: "You have more brain, but I have a tranq gun. If you don't let me go, I'll shoot you with it."
Better than a busy signal...

Chetwin: "Sorry. I'm not really your bro and this was too easy." I whack him upside the head.

Dylana: "i think you'd count as a weapon, though, tabs. They'd make me check you at the door"
Tabby: "*sigh*"

Session 19: Family Games

Transformations

GM: right. you were all about to head to amber for kaylana's little get-together.
Darcie: YAY!!! KOOL-AID!!!
From Random's kid? You've got to be kidding.

Dylana: "You know that trick? as in you can trump?"
Digit: "*smiles broadly*"
Dylana: "dig, you're hiding something."
Digit: "Of course i am."
He's a twelve-year-old, precocious Amberite. Of COURSE he's hiding something!

GM: She proceeds to give Digit a royal shakedown. This produces eight juggling balls, a dozen daggers, and a bag full of firecrackers.
Darcie: no cigar?
GM: apparently the cigar is harmless enough that she ignores it.
Dustin: This is amber...those firecrackers are about as dangerous as tootsie-rolls.

Kaylana: "*chuckle* Hang on. I'm following a bit of tradition here, and letting everyone show off."
Dylana: "*Gestures at chet* you'll have to wait a while for that one. he's got a lot of showing off in him."
We said nothing...

Chetwin: I bow. "Nice to meet you. Who's fault are you?"
Caitlin: "*blinkblink* You'd have to ask Mom and Dad about that one."
Chetwin: "Heh. I meant, which of the immortal peanut gallery supplied the fateful egg or tadpole?"

Arwen: "Damnit! Can't I get a regular ball point pen around here?"
Newbie...

Kaylana: "We've got horses disappearing and reappearing in the stables... There's blue goo in the hall downstairs... We've been kidnapped and harrassed..."
Dylana: "and shot at..."
Kaylana: "*pause* okay. and shot at."
Grace under pressure

Chetwin: "Their leader, however, has crossed the line of the unforgivable...she has truly and completely humiliated me by not allowing me to remove her head from her body."
Arwen: "How inconsiderate of her."
Dylana: "damn that survival instinct"
Chetwin: "She got away by siccing her purple-four-armed lackey on my ass. It is dead now."
Arwen: "Bits of it are."
GM: Digit shh's you again, ar. then: "I helped."
Dylana: *laughs*
Chetwin: "Yes. I had lots of help."
Chetwin's ego vs. the peanut gallery

Chetwin: *turns around* "Hey, cuz. Where'd you come from? Oh...right you have the groovy-magic-mood-ring. Use it to get down there and outta my proverbial fifteen minutes."
An unconventional reference to a spikard

Chetwin: "On the information front...the leaders of the house are to unparalleled bitch-queens. They are very adept logrus-users...I also formally accuse them of commiting multiple acts of sexual deviancy with the Serpent."

GM: remora seems intent on being snippy; she turns to Morgan and says, "Why not just keep pointing Chetwin at them? Two birds..."
Chetwin: did I hear that?
GM: yes.
Chetwin: "Hey, bitch...you could just relax your one and only sexual scruple and seduce their whole house long enough for us to kill them."
Sibling rivalry from Flora's bunch

Dylana: "wouldn't julian be proud of his little girl.. if he could only just be here..."
But... Oh... wait. He's responsible...

Chetwin: "Yeah. There's the urchin here."
Dylana: "CHET!"
Digit: "Put me down!"
Chetwin: "Anybody have a clue as to whose he is?"
GM: he kicks you in the shin.
Dylana: "CHET!!!!"

Arwen: "Hey! He's too young to smoke."
Chetwin: "He's an amberite. What's it gonna do, stunt his growth?"

Chetwin: "Better habits than capitalism? What would those be?"

Chetwin: "So...what are the fruits of the multiverse's metaphorical third testicle like? I mean, of course, what is your father's universe like?"
Perhaps not the best way to start a conversation with Corwin's daughter...

Chetwin: "I am chetwin, by the way. In case you didn't remember. I'm the son of lord rein and flora. I'm probably very screwed up in the head because I was weaned too early and forced to be bottle-fed by the jester."

Chetwin: "Ahhhhhh. Do you have time to draw up some medical release forms?"
Falstaff: "Yes, sir. *pause*"
Chetwin: I outline a whole bunch of legal stuff, which ammounts to "I hereby voluntarily subject myself to hugely invasive and highly experimental, politically motivated brain transplant-lobotomy-graft surgery and accept all responsibilities and risks as my own."
GM: he makes up the document.
Chetwin: "Very good. Now make another copy."
GM: he makes a second copy
Chetwin: "Very very good work. Now sign it and go shave your head."

Chetwin: "It will be the opportunity of a LIFETIME, falstaff! It will be the culmination of your illustrious career! YOU will be knighted by the greatest power in the universe...you will be powerful beyond your wildest dreams...and we will keep your body on ice while your brain is out of it."

Chetwin: "Here...we'll go back home and I'll walk you through the entire procedure. Which reminds me...I'll have to read up on brain surgery."
Not the words you want to hear from a prospective doc...

Chetwin: I leave the room and go get some anisthetic from the medical bay. *looks at the bottle* "Hmmm...not quite ready for you yet falstaff...but I have a feeling you'll be having a change of heart."

Darcie: warmer than roomtemp?
GM: heh. what roomtemp is SUPPOSED to be, or what it actually IS on my side of the room?
Damnit, I was COLD!

Dylana: "It sanded me!"
Random: "What?"
Dylana: "The card!" *hands it to random*
Random: "*takes the card* It's a desert, Dylana. What did you expect?"
Dylana: "I expected to be above ground level" *lying through her teeth*

Dylana: "well, it was in dworkin's study and i went through it and trumped chet to come back and.. well... i forgot to put it down" *looks innocent and stuff* *does the wide-eyed thing*
Random: "You forgot... to... *blinks* *pauses* *mutters* If it wasn't bad enough that she can't leave him alone..."
Dylana: "I left him alone!! i did!!!" *wider-eyed*
Random: "But you stole from him first! He's ALREADY been proven unstable!!!!!"

Random: "I'm not... as... worried about Chetwin messing with them. And I'm keeping these for now."
Isn't it great when the elders have confidence in you?

Random: "*blink* Who told you that?"
Dylana: "*blink* dorian"
Random: "Dorian. *shakes his head* Speaking of lunatics..."
Dylana: "he's not crazy. he's just a little weird, in an amusing sort of way."
Random: "I'm not going to argue the point with you..."

Chetwin: I clutch my head and fall to the ground, screaming loudly. "My brain! Ow!"
GM: you get a crowd of short bald guys, chet. they're discussing your symptoms.
Chetwin: I ham it up, pretending to suffer from some horrible brain disease.
GM: they apparently reach a diagnosis. Someone walks up wiht a large mallet.
Chetwin: I get up and get away from their immediate location.
GM: chet, mallet-guy is following you.
Chetwin: "Hmmm...I think the spasm is over. I'll be fine for a while. What are you doing with the hammer?"
Finding a brain doc, part 1

Dylana: "oh. so, now what? does the unlikely trio go charging back into chaos, or have you developed a plan? we couldn't, but that's not surprising."

Random: "No thanks. Hmm... I do have a job you can do for me, though... *smile*"

Dylana: "ah. so, what? i just walk up to him and "Hey! Uncie Dalt! How goes the rat race?!" or do i need to be more subtle?"

Chetwin: "Dr. Ishmael, I presume?"
Finding a brain doc, part 2

Dylana: i look at merc's hand
GM: Mercury has 4 aces. So does Digit.

Digit: "Okay. Sounds cool. *pause* He cheats better than i do. I wonder why?"
Dylana: "experience, maybe. by the way, refresh my memory, but how many aces are there in one deck of cards?"
Digit: "Umm... four?"
Dylana: "ah. okay" *walks off chuckling*
He may be smart, but he's only twelve

Ishy: "Well, my boy, we use clones in all our work. They're totally dependable and devoted to the teaching staff... *pauses, looks around, whispers* one of the perks of being tenured, i might add."
Finding a brain doc, part 3

Danny: Hmmm... It'd be as ridiculous to refuse to lie down as to lie down, and there's nothing they can do to me in the bed anyway, so I go ahead and lie down.
What logic...

Ishy: "Indeed i shall. And as for people... can you hold down the patient?"
Chetwin: "Come again?"
Ishy: "Are you deaf? I asked if you can hold down the patient."
Chetwin: "Hmmm...I was thinking we'd use at least a muscle relaxant, if not some other form of anisthetic."
Ishy: "*broad smile* You'll do just fine."
Chetwin: "Hold on...just so I'm clear on this deal. Explain your version of this procedure to me. The medical tradition of my homeland may be very different from yours."
Ishy: "*chuckle* I was testing you, my boy! Come now, don't you have a sense of humor?"
Finding a brain doc, part 4

Dylana: "hmm.. okay. thats a bit bizarre. have you told random?"
Vanity: "Yes. He agreed that it was strange. *smile* Said something along the lines of 'Drop it on Chetwin and Dylana. They'll figure it out.'"
Dylana: "shit."
Vanity: "*laughs* In that sort of 'dump things no one else wants to bother with on you' sort of way."
Dylana: *grin*"so why do i want to bother? I'll tell you why. i am cursed with a bloody insatiable curiosity. i blame... umm... well, someone i haven't met yet. neither of my parents quite fit that one... but anyway.."
Vanity: "*laughs lots*"
More confidence from the elders

woman: "Tell me why you allow a male to rule your life."
Arwen: "Because he's nicer when he thinks he's in charge."

Session 20: The Night Before

Transformations

Chetwin: I snag a denizen. "This is a respected surgeon, from a distant land...show off or something...umm..sing and dance...anything."

Dylana: "Hey, you know those trumps we got from Dworkin's study? Could I borrow them?"
Chetwin: "Ummm...why?"
Dylana: "Curiosity."
Chetwin: "Umm...that's why I removed them from your possession, in the first place..."
Dylana: "Yes, but i won't get myself into trouble this time. Promise."
Famous last words?

Arwen: What about Tel'aran'rhiod?
GM: no good.
AGAIN with the Wheel of Time!

Arwen: He smell chaosy?
GM: no, he doesn't
Arwen: What about ambery?
GM: he does, indeed, smell ambery
This would be the metaphorical sense of smell...

Ishy: "Another successful operation..." he opens up the suitcase, peels back the lining, and adds a hatch mark to the several hundred already there.

Arwen: "Oh, and there only seems to be one bed. I get it."
Pragmatic, isn't she?

Dylana: "Well, the last i checked, your forms of recreation sleeping, hunting, and eating..."
Tabby: "I think i want to torment a dog."
Panther, meet dog... dog, meet panther...

Dylana: "Yes. Tormenting dogs is all right so long as you stay clear of the hellhounds. Uncle Julian'll throttle me if anything happens to his mutts"
Tabby: "How do i tell the difference, then!?"
Dylana: "The hellhounds are damn great dogs with damn strong teeth"
Tabby: "*sniff* i can take one."
Dylana: "Yes. Then Julian would throttle me. I'm not much in the mood to be throttled today"
Tabby: "Oh good."

Dylana: "Um...yeah. Digit, one of these days, you have a lot of stories to tell me"
He's a precocious little street rat who just happens to be an Amberite. Of COURSE he has stories!

Darcie: the frothing otter? who the hell names their bar after rabid sea-beasties?

Chetwin: "It's an amberite geiger counter!!!!!!!"
More on the blue goo

Chetwin: I put some of it on the end of the pole, hold it by the non-gooey end and call random
Yet more on the blue goo