NOTE: POSTING HERE DUE TO XANGA BEING DOWN
Sup peoples, I'm back, just like you knew I would be. If you read my xanga post last night, then
you know you're in for a treat tonight, lol, yes, yes, I'ma bless ya'll with some of my
unfiltered, uncensored thoughts.
If you didn't already know, I think A LOT...I can't help it, even when I try not to, I'm thinking of SOMETHING. Anyways, it's kind of wierd though because for basically the past week, I've been pondering the same thoughts over and over again. Sometimes,when I get my thoughts out, it helps me to evaluate exactly what it is that plagues me. I know
I'm saying this in vain, but for those of you who read this and feel it, or even have something
to add to it, then please do so by leaving a comment to the post.
So...here goes. Love is something that I often contemplate a little more than I'd like to. Exactly what IS love? How do you know that it's real? And how soon is too soon to love someone? Is there a schedule that one should adhere to? For me, love is something that can't exactly be explained, truly, I believe it can only be felt. Love is the smile on your face when you reminisce on times spent with the one you care for. Love is that tingling feeling on your skin when he/she touches you. Love is the
laughter that you share when you're together. Love is the worry that you feel when you're apart.
Love is a culmination of things; of feelings, and can feelings accurately be described through words?
I don't think they can.
Being able to tell whether it's real or not is tricky. I don't think anyone is ever REALLY sure, there's too much trust involved, and there are very few people in the world willing to put their hearts on the line in order to put complete faith and trust into another human being. The majority of humanity is too cynical for that, and for the few that are willing, they're seen as naive.
Me personally, I am the latter type..both fortunately AND UNfortunately. I am a picky person when it comes to romantic endeavors...in other words, you have to be SOMETHING ELSE to grab AND hold
onto my attention. With that said, if someone comes along who I actually develop genuine feelings
for, I tend to fall hard. So am I wrong for that? I feel like, life is too short to NOT take some
chances...life's too short to live on "what if's".
True enough, this kind of approach can yield
results of heartache and pain..but I feel like each experience opens my eyes for new things to
look for next go round, and I'm confident that God won't make me go through anything that he's not
prepared to walk [with] me through. Besides that, I'm a believer in karma...I believe what goes around
comes around, and I try to base my actions and decisions around that, and God's laws of course.
I don't believe that love is like baking cookies, there's no timer to manage, no set amount of time
before it's "ready"..it is, what it is. Do I believe in love at first sight? Sure, why not? It's
not so far-fetched is it? I'm willing to admit, I'm a bit of a dreamer, and a romantic, but I
think that's part of what makes me who I am, and when it comes down to it, I honestly wouldn't
want to be any other way.
With that said though, I do realize that my point of view and way of thinking,isn't the most realistic, and while I don't want to alter who I am...there is nothing wrong with improving upon what's already there..so what I'm working on now is taking a step back and trying to view people for what they really are instead of who I want them to be, and/or who they
portray themselves to be. It's a challenge for me because I'm so used to giving people the
benefit of the doubt (my mom says I get on her nerves with it, lol) or making excuses for them, or thinking that because I'm a certain way, they will be too. There's nothing wrong with believing in people and things, but I KNOW that I can get a little ridiculous with my false hope, so hopefully
with God's guidance, I will be able to spot the wolves.
I know this is all a lil' spacey, but I'm just
putting it out there as it comes to me....but back to this "love thang", it's really just one ball of confusion, just when you think you've got a real understanding of it, it changes form and shows you something new. I think it's meant to be that way, if you could understand it, would it be half as intriguing? I think not.
Anyways, the other thought that's been circulatin' all up in the folds of my mind(I had to throw SOME slang in here, lol)is this, does EVERYONE think they're different? I mean, I for one, think I am different, but maybe I'm just disillusioned, maybe I'm no different than anyone else?
I don't believe THAT for a hot second though, I don't THINK I'm different, I KNOW I am.
I know, for a fact, that God had something special in mind when he formulated all that was to be me. It's another one of those "feeling"
situations, it's not something that I can quite explain, it's just something I know/feel. For the
people who have really taken the time to get to know me, and know me really well, I think they
know or sense this also. Do I sound crazy?
Now, by no means am I saying that I'm perfect, or
near perfect, or near to being near to being perfect. What I AM saying though, is that God had a
special mold for me, and after me, there will be no other LIKE me. I know that sounds a little
cliche', the old "can't nobody be me, but me"...but I think in this case, it's true. What sets
me apart from any other female? Or male for that matter? I'll leave that up to you to find out.
Thought of the day(as if there aren't enough already, lol):
"There's more to life than loving yourself, you've got to learn to love somebody else."-Jagged Edge
Posted by realm3/trezher513
at 11:06 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:09 PM CDT
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post
Updated: Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:09 PM CDT
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post