Part 55.......An Itch Henry 11 Just Can't Scratch.........by Terri

Henry II moans and leans over the side of his bed. Had he really drunk that much mead? He rolls over on his back, staring at the ceiling. Would it never stop spinning? He leans over and pats the place next to him. "Rosamond?" He slurs. He feels the blanket, realizing it is untouched. "Rosamond!" he groans.
He drags himself over to the basin of water, splashing it on his face. Peering into the looking glass, he thinks, "Hell, man, you really did yourself in this time!"
He is surprised he isn't seeing red through his bloodshot eyes.
Henry pulls himself together and heads downstairs. Perhaps a hair of the dog that bit him would clear his head.
Richard, looking much like Henry, sits at the table with John. John is looking pretty smug and satisfied. Geoffrey looks like a thundercloud ready to burst.
"Well," he roars. "Are you and Richard satisfied with the drunken performance you acted out last night? If you two louts had kept your mouths shut, we may ALL have been invited for a visit into the 21st century!"
Henry looks accusingly at Richard. "Where is she?" Richard looks innocently at his father. "Mother has gone back to New York."
"Not Eleanor...Rosamond. Did she spend the night with you? It wouldn't be the first time!"
Richard looks contemptuously at his father. "Did you check the room of our esteemed guest Mr. John Gwinnett? Honestly, Father, for a man of the world, you are too trusting. I think your little diversion is...."
Henry clips Richard across the mouth. "SHUT UP!" The effort makes his head ache.
Elizabeth Tudor enters into the dining room. "Has anyone seen my father? His bed is unslept in. I found traces of wax on the table but no candle. I wonder what that lech is up to now. Probably took a candle up to the servants' quarters on the fourth floor. He had is eye on that chunky serving woman, Bess. Oh, well...he'll turn up!"
Henry's lord of the bedchamber, Fergis, comes in. "Fergis, have you seen Miss Rosamond and Her Highness?"
Fergis pulls some paper out of his pocket. "No, Your Majesty, but I found this near the front door. Along with this."
Fergis hands Henry II a piece of lace along with a piece of what looks like parchment. He recognizes the lace as Rosamond's handkerchief. He grasps the papers, but he is too hung over to read it. "Here". He thrusts the paper at Geoffrey. "Read this."
Geoffrey takes the paper, turning it over. On the card is a brilliant painting of lighted edifices. Geoffrey clears his throat. "To: Henry II. From: Eleanor. You'll never find me here, you old devil. This is a huge city and even if you scour it from top to bottom you will never find me. I am NOT coming home again, you got that? Rosamond isn't either, so eat your heart out, you old poop. P.S. Say Hi to the boys for me!"
Henry picks up his goblet and smashes it into the fireplace. He lets out a roar, "ROSAMOND!" Today that very roar is translated into "STELLA!"
Richard turns to John. "I never realized the depth of his passion for Rosie."
John looks at Richard. "Come on, Richard, you've seen Rosamond in all sorts of dissarray. Can you blame him?"
With that, Richard smiled a satisfied smile, "Yeah, I guess I can understand it!"

Henry II turns on his heel, strides out to the stable, and orders his ebony stallion saddled. He gallopps out into the woods at breakneck speed. He rides hard for hours and ends up at the field of daisies in the meadow. His eyes fill with tears. He brushes them back quickly.
"Ohhhhh, Rosamond," he moans. Could this be? Was he really in love with her?
Somehow, someway.....he has to find a way into the 21st century and win her heart again....before Gwinnett wins her body!



Honor, Ain't it a Nuisance?......by Terri


William stretches his arms out. "Well, that was one great housewarming! But I for one am exhausted! I think I will go up to my room."
Eleanor yawns, "I have a big joust tournament tomorrow. Best if I get a good night's sleep." She glances over at Rosamond and gives her a hard stare. "I think you had better turn in, too. We'll clean this mess up in the morning." Rosamond gives an exaggerated yawn. "Oh, Ellie, you are ever so right as usual" Eleanor knew she was lying but was too tired to argue.
John says, "I am too keyed up to turn in. I will be crashing pretty soon."
Rosamond, Eleanor and William retire to their respective rooms. But Rosamond is feeling sorely rejected over this evening's desertion. A most attractive man had thrown her over for BETHIA?"
Rosamond waits twenty minutes for Eleanor and William to settle in. Then she pulls out her white lace teddy with matching robe. No, the red one with the black lace was too much...bustier, she thought it was called. Besides, John does not look like the kind of man who would go for overkill.
Rosie tiptoes down the stairs. John is sitting in the dark with a brandy and smoking a cigar. She doesn't see him and walks out by the pool.
How beautiful the moon looked reflected in the pool! She wonders what happened after they left Windsor so abruptly. Did Henry and Richard even remember the fiasco that hastened their departure? Tears fill Rosamond's eyes. Lord, how she misses Henry! Never before has she ever known such a virile and powerful man!
But one thing troubles her. Henry had never told her he loved her. He said he wanted her. Needed her. But love her? Rosamond begins to play scenes over in her mind.
No, that's right--he NEVER said he loved her. What was she to him? A trollop?
His....whore, like Eleanor said. She picks up the wineglass in her hand and throws it against the wall. "BASTARD!" she cries out!
John has been standing in the shadows watching her. She turns and sees John.
She bravely tries to stop the tears but they continue to flow. John takes her into his arms and smoothes her hair, making comforting sounds.
Rosamond continues to sob against John's chest. "He never loved me. Never cared.
All I was...." was all she manages to get out.
"Hush, Rosamond. I know what it is like to be used. Don't you think I hurt when Elizabeth left me for the Reverend? Don't you think I understand rejection and what you are going through?"
John cups Rosamond's chin in his hand. Rosamond looks up, her eyes brimming with hurt and tears...and possibly fear? But John can contain himself no more. For once Rosamond is the recipient of a kiss that she feels all the way to her toes. Rosamond's robe slips from her shoulders and lays in a puddle on the ground. John breaks away from her, suddenly ashamed of himself. "Rosamond, forgive me."
Rosamond gazes into his eyes. "John, there is nothing to forgive." She kisses him on the neck. But John is a man of honor. "Rosamond, we live here together..I mean, we live in the same house. We work together. We were both from different centuries, different backgrounds, thrust into time passage that neither one of us is prepared for. When I was with you at Windsor, I saw behavior in you I had never really seen before. And I refuse to be used again by another woman who desires another man." He leans over and hands Rosamond her robe. "I suggest you put this back on. I am a man of honor but I am not made of stone, Rosie. Now excuse me, please, while I go upstairs and take a shower."
Rosamond calls out to him softly, "There is no hot water left, John."
John mutters to himself, "That suits me just fine!"
Rosamond smiles to herself. That kiss on the neck? Let HIM explain the hickey to the makeup department!



Page 56........Conqueror? Try Spoiler!..........by Terri

Rosamond lies in her bed tossing and turning. What did John mean, "a man of honor"? Her white teddy and robe lay on a heap on the floor. Let's face it--these teddy things were good for playing but not for sleeping. She is too tired to even put on a nightgown. Besides, the silk sheets feel delicious against her skin.
Down the hall she hears the water pipes banging from the shower that John is taking. Rosamond smiles wickedly to herself in the darkness. Oh, yes, Captain John Gwinnett wants her, even if he won't admit it. Rosamond's ego has taken a severe beating tonight. First that Steven Wood going off with Bethia. I hope his toupee flies off when he speeds around a corner in that flashy red convertible of his!
At least, I THINK it's a toupee, Rosamond thinks. If it was, a darn good one!
John is totally unlike the Plantagenet men. Henry was powerful and a wonderful lover but he was selfish. Everything had to be on his terms. Rosamond feels desire mix with resentment. How DARE he treat me like some concubine! Yet Rosamond knew she would take him on his terms anytime. Richard was a lout who made love
like he was out for revenge. He didn't matter---unless he became King. But John Gwinnett is different. He is--honorable. A noble trait but a BORING one.
Rosamond thinks to herself--a project! How to break down that Puritan wall and discover the hidden passion she is sure lurks beneath. She can still taste that cognac flavored kiss on her lips and the smell of his aftershave lingers.

John Gwinnett shuts the water off. The cool water felt good against the flush of his face. Rosamond crowds his thoughts. What kind of game is she up to? She seemed in real distress, calling someone a bastard. John could only guess it had to do with the events in England. In England she seemed so self-assured, so in control, so....bewitching. He had never seen her in such command of her presence.
He dries himself off with a thick towel. Yet she seemed so vulnerable tonight. Which was the REAL Rosamond? Was she two dimensional? A "man of honor" he thinks. Yeah, a LONELY man of honor. He wonders how far Rosamond would go if she had nothing to gain. A wicked game she plays.
John stares into the mirror. No, I am not made of stone. And I am afraid the feet are made of clay. Rosamond made him weak in the knees. He slips on a terry cloth robe and shuts off the light to the bathroom.

Rosamond hears John come down the hall and shut his bedroom door. Just down the hall...twenty feet away. Rosamond grabs her lace robe. The heck with the teddy. After John's kiss, Rosamond knows she wouldn't even need that to seduce him. She lights candles and sprays cologne on the sheets.
As she backs out of her room, she feels a smack on her bottom. "Oww!" She turns around, fully expecting John Gwinnett to have the same ideas and desires. As she turns around, she looks full-faced into the wrathful and furious eyes of William.
William pushes her back into her room. He looks around at the scented sheets and the candles burning. "Quite the web, my little spider! Ohhhh, I AM sorry to disappoint you, dear. Looks like your trap was all for naught." Rosamond looks at him, matching his fury. William grabs her by the wrist. "Leave well enough alone, Rosamond. I will not have you complicating a bad situation. We are in this house together and I do not need seduction and abandonment. What will happen when you get John in your bed? Oh, don't give me that look! Yes, of course I know what will happen...I mean AFTER. Your conduct in England almost got him killed."
"Killed?" Rosamond's eyes grow large.
"Yes--Henry barely missed John with an arrow. He made like it was an accident but we knew better. And as King no one had the right to question otherwise."
Rosamond is impressed. Henry was ready to KILL for her.
"William, I am so lonely. Henry is thousands of miles away, not to mention 800 years." She covers her face with her hands and starts to cry.
"Ro', if you don't stop crying, you will get puffy eyes. Get a grip. Take a cue from Eleanor. She doesn't need a man and her self-worth is not dependent on it."
Wiliam rises to go. "And if you DON'T stop it, I may very well put saltpeter in your CocoPuffs!"
Rosamond throws off her robe, balls it up and throws it at the closing door.
"Just because you have never known passion, don't piddle on MY barbe-que!"
With that, she sticks out her tongue at the door, blows out the candles, and slips into her silk sheets. Alone.



Page 57.Going together like salt and peter..........by Terri

William slips down to the kitchen, grabs a bottle of Amsel and sits by the pool on the lounge chair. Such a lovely night, he thinkst. Too bad that ditz is MY problem, too. He worries about Rosamond. She is like a frat boy at keg party!
He knows a lot of Rosamond's problem is not about sex but about power. And she complained of the Plantagenets. He knew Rosamond had to win, win, win at all cost.
William stretches out. He finds a funny cigarette in the ashtray. Hmmm..someone must have left it here from the party. He decides to see what it's like. He tried tobacco but didn't like it. As he lights the joint, a voice from behind stops him in mid-light.
"I wouldn't do that, William. I heard those things will affect you like those berries in Southold. Besides, it's against the law." William grinds it out.
John Gwinnett stands behind him with another Amsel. John looks positively miserable. He sits facing William.
"William, what am I going to do? She won't leave me alone."
"Do you want to be left alone, John?"
John explodes, "I don't know, William. Part of me would LOVE to, to...."
William laughs, "The Plantagenets had no morals, John. You are a challenge to Rosamond. And I think she feels Eleanor and Bethia are laughing at her. She is determined to get you. I think you should avoid all situations like the one I observed tonight."
"You were there?" John asks.
"I saw the way things were heading by the pool. I was up on the balcony. I was heading up to talk to Rosamond after you got your shower and went to your room.
But little Miss Hotpants was on her way to pay you a visit! I gave her a smack on the bum she will not soon forget! She had it all set up---candles, perfume, lace ...I am sure the silk stockings were next, and a bottle of champagne is missing. Guess she was damn well sure she was going to finish what was started in that hot tub! And the fact that you showed an interest, however fleeting in Bethia, didn't set too well." John tries not to look disappointed. "Well, I guess I have you to thank for this, huh, William. But you know, I haven't had a woman that beautiful and that persistent. I am not made of stone. I am not even sure I am made of clay, the way I am crumbling. But I find myself thinking of her alot...I am just afraid of complications arising from a situation just like tonight."
"Oh, don't worry...Rosamond isn't through yet! I just wondered.....where the blazes can I get some saltpeter...and how can I get them on her CocoPuffs!"



Page 58: A dinner party of another stripe.......by Coralynn


"I've gotta take a shower before I even think of dressing for the Clinton dinner party," Eleanor announces, "This grocery shopping on Saturdays is a chore!! I never appreciated what a pain it was for the servants back at Court to have to get up all that food!"
"And all we have to do is bring it home from the grocery, store, don't forget. We don't have to go out and kill a cow or a chicken and pick our salads out of the fields," William adds. "By the way, Eleanor, your driving is frightening the people in this town. Between here and the grocery store you almost ran over a nice old couple who were simply out for a stroll; you must desist from driving on the sidewalk. Then you crowded that other car into a ditch. Luckily no one was injured. You have to be more careful from now on."
"Oh yeah, yeah," Eleanor blew it off, "I suppose. Oh-oh, here comes Bethiah back from her job. She still has that hurt expression, too. How were we to know when she was getting back from her tryst with Steven the other night?"
Bethiah enters the house and heaves a sigh. She has tried her best to stop feeling hurt because she was locked out of the house Thursday evening. Had William not been up anyway, dealing with some foolishness with Rosie, she never would have been let in. She has noticed a frostiness in both of the other women since Steven has been coming around to see her.
"Bad day, Bethiah?" John asks.
"Not too bad, John, but working on Saturdays is difficult. Now I have to turn around and get dressed up for the Clinton dinner. What are we wearing, anyway?" she looks at the other two women, remembering how they both tried to fool each other at the housewarming party a couple nights back.
"A dressy suit or cocktail dress that isn't too garish," Eleanor states. "We have those in our closets, remember how we cleaned out Neiman...."
William moves closer, and Eleanor cuts off the rest of the sentence.
The two women walk into the bedroom they share.
Bethiah sits on the bed and sighs deeply again,
"What can I do to make you like me again?" she looks up at Eleanor. "Are you and Rose angry because of Steven?"
"Why, whatever would we be angry with you for. Tut, tut, he is just a man. Alright, so the most spectacular specimen of manhood ever put upon the planet, but........not worth becoming angry over, surely. No, I am pleased for you. Rose is the one who hates you now."
Eleanor knows she's misrepresenting the situation, but cannot seem to stop herself.
"Let's see how lovely we can make ourselves for our appointment with the King, I mean Bill and Hillary. I've seen them on the television news this week, and people do gather around them. They are the closest thing to royalty we shall meet in this country. So we must look lovely and mayhap even royal ourselves!"
"Who is driving us to their house?" Bethiah eyes Eleanor suspiciously, wondering if Eleanor intends to drive; a frightening prospect if ever there was one.
"They're sending a limo to pick us up!" Eleanor says happily.
"A what?" Bethiah is confused.
"A limo, a big, long car with a uniformed chauffeur!"
"You are learning the modern way of speaking so much faster than I, Eleanor, I am feeling so stupid sometimes. I spend my work days at the Colonial Village, speaking as a woman would back in 1640, which comes naturally to me, but the words Steven uses are too modern for me, as well as your words. Why, do you know he asked me if I had ever watched "The Partridge Family" when I was a child. I told him 'of course,' then he asked me which was my favorite episode. I stuttered and stammered and said 'you know that one where they......' and he filled in the rest. How am I ever going to make him think I came from these times and not 361 years ago?"
"You may need a crash course in modern history," Eleanor muses, "You may have to get on the internet and start searching for the things Steven asks you about. I can show you how to use a search engine, but later.. Now we must become lovely ladies of the 21st Century. Tonight, just smile a lot and let me do the talking."


William is waiting in the living room. The limo is out in front of the house and the others have yet to appear.
"We're leaving now!" he says loudly.
Rosamond comes rushing out of her room in a pink cloud of cocktail dress with a matching pink chiffon scarf draped around her neck, trailing behind.
"Quite lovely," William assesses her.
John emerges from his quarters in his good suit, and stands beside William. He does not feel it wise to get too close to Rose. She is capable of anything.
Eleanor and Bethiah are heard coming down the staircase, laughing and practicing their "modern" words.
Well, William thinks, at least those two have made up.


They are greeted warmly and ushered into the home Bill and Hillary share.
"I love the high ceilings!" Rosamond declares, "And that crown molding is beautiful! What a lovely home!" Rose is becoming something of a decorating expert and has decided to lean on her one area of expertise.
William hands Hillary a large, wrapped bottle.
"It's mead," he tells her when she doesn't recognize the label.
"Did you make this yourself?" she asks.
"I think I finally got the recipe right!" he almost laughs. John and Bethiah and Eleanor look at each other with an "oh-oh" expression.

The dinner is delicious and as they await dessert, Eleanor turns to Bill, who is sitting on her left and tells him how sorry she is that his rare book collection was damaged in a flood a few months back.
"That's what I get for keeping all those books in the basement!" he says, shaking his head sadly, "The Insurance Company said I should have known better and wouldn't honor my claim for damages. Some are still salvageable, and you'd better believe are now upstairs where it's safe."
Eleanor commiserates with him over this tragic loss.
William wonders how she knew about that.
"And your new office in Harlem, Bill, what a wonderful place that is! The people were so welcoming to you, it warmed my heart."
Eleanor again.
William is wondering how she knows about this, too. Is she psychic or what?!
"I would love to visit Harlem some day soon," Eleanor finishes.
"By all means!" Bill is enthusiastic. "When Eleanor of Aquitaine comes to Harlem, you know the TV cameras will be rolling!"
William is hoping against hope that Eleanor hasn't blown her cover.
"I don't do such a bad job imitating her, do I?" Eleanor laughs, and William begins to relax.
"Eleanor of Aquitaine has always been one of my favorite role models," Hillary adds to the conversation.
"What is it about Eleanor that you particularly admire?" Eleanor is now paying rapt attention to Hillary.
William is thinking, "Please, no!"
"She was brave and at times seemed fearless and did not define herself in terms of any man," Hillary explains.
"True, true. And she was quite beautiful," Eleanor cannot resist adding.
Hillary nods her agreement and the subject changes. William relaxes.
Rosamond is all but jumping out of her skin with the urge to ask Hillary what she knows of Rosamond Clifford, but she's afraid of William's wrath. She's had enough of that recently to last her a long, long time!

As they then move onto the terrace outside, John asks Hillary what she does in Washington.
"She runs the country!" Eleanor says very firmly, "She makes decisions and people do what she says!"
Hillary laughs, "I am only one of many who make decisions, but I appreciate your thinking I am some kind of Queen. Now, that would have been an interesting time to live, back when a ruling Monarch truly made the decisions alone." She laughs some more.
Bethiah has said but a scant 10 words during the entire evening up till that time.
Bill notices, and tries to draw her out.
"Bethiah, that is such a pretty name, you never hear that name anymore. Where did you grow up?"
"Southold, Long Island," she answers, then falls silent again.
"What was the best thing about growing up there?" Bill tries again.
"It rained a lot," she is trying to think of ways to describe the area without telling what it was truly like in 1640. She looks desperately to Eleanor for help.
Responding to Bethiah's silent plea, Eleanor begins, "So, Bill, are you planning a campaign to unseat the current ruler? An insurrection?"
Everyone looks shocked.
One uneasy moment passes, then Bill begins to laugh uproariously. "You would pass for Eleanor of Aquitaine any day in my book. How about you and I go on a Crusade?"
"What will the crusade be about?" Hillary wants to know.
"Yes, Eleanor, what great cause will you champion?" William decides he'd better join in.
"Eleanor would banish every royal mistress to the dungeon!!" Rosamond blurts out.
"Now I KNOW I like you!" Hillary puts an arm around Eleanor and they both stand beaming.



Page 59: ...Educating Rita, I mean Bethiah.........by Coralynn


The Sunday papers are scattered all over the living room. Bethiah has gone out and purchased every one she could find from around the country.
She looks up at William, who has just strolled into the living room, wearing a bathrobe, holding a huge glass of orange juice.
"I will never find out everything I need to know in order to fit in, William! I am so woefully ignorant of the 20th century it's pathetic. I know, now they have this 21st Century going, and it's all getting away from me! What shall I do?"
He sits on one of the chairs with the levers, as sitting on one of those plush couches would upset his glass of juice.
"A lot has happened since 1640, Bethiah, you have to be gentle and patient with yourself."
"But I am seeing Steven almost every evening, and he speaks of things of which I have never heard. Some of these things I never even dreamed of. They sent a man to the Moon?! I don't believe that! How could they do that? I'm not saying he's lying about it, but my mind cannot wrap itself around something that impossible! How can I learn what has happened in the last 361 years? It's too overwhelming!"

"Take it in hunks, then," Eleanor suggests as she lifts a lamp to dust under it, "Merciful heavens, William, but this place is becoming filthy. Are WE expected to clean it? Where is our charlady?"
"We haven't hired one," is his curt reply.
"Well, we must do so and immediately. I am a Queen, in case you have forgotten. Queens do not clean their castles nor houses. That's what the peasant class is for. Rosamond would be perfect."
"Don't you dare start trouble again, Eleanor," he warns her, "We have to live here as equals. America does not have official classes, and the sooner you stop categorizing everyone you meet, the better. I could run an ad, I suppose, and hire someone to come in once a week, I think we can afford that."
"We can afford almost anything with all the money we bring in, William," Eleanor is becoming agitated. "You have never divulged your salary, but I can guess it's in the millions of dollars. Am I right?"
William clears his throat, tosses back the rest of the orange juice, and mutters "you could say that" as he retreats to the kitchen. She follows him.
"It is high time we all had separate bank accounts," Eleanor announces, "You are not our father, you have just taken it upon yourself to behave like you are and we are all children. Well, enough of that!! Tomorrow I'm taking Bethiah, John and Rosamond to the bank and we're all getting our own accounts. We're tired of answering to you for everything we buy."
William thinks this over, and, to her surprise, agrees with her. After all, he thinks, let them find out the hard way how adept they are at handling money. Let Eleanor spend every last cent on clothes and jewelry and then have to come up with her share of the mortgage payment. Too bad they did away with debtors' prisons in America.
They can hear Bethiah shuffling through the newspapers in frustration.
"These papers only tell what movies are playing and what crimes have happened in the last day or two. They aren't any help!" she moans.
Eleanor walks over and sits on the floor beside Bethiah.
"Now, calm youself," she begins, "Because if you learn about the history and culture in small hunks you can master it. Shall we start with the oldest history or the more recent?"
"Methinks we should start with the most recent, because that's what Steven talks about while I stare back at him with nothing intelligent to say."
Eleanor flips through the TV Guide.
"Here's a good one: a program about the best television shows of the last 40 years."
She shoves a vcr tape into the machine and fiddles with the controls.
"We'll tape it so that you can watch it over and over. Now, let's see, what world events happened in the last forty years? Hmmmmm, for that let us go to the internet."
Considerable time is spent explaining search engines to Bethiah, and after she gets the hang of it, she begins to relax.
"Ohhh, my, this is fun!" she smiles for the first time that day, "I type the word Moon into that google search engine you showed me, and LOOK at all my choices! Let's see, how about 'first manned spacecraft; first man to walk on Moon'......they even show pictures! Thank you so much, Eleanor!"
Rosamond breezes into the room with a perky, short one-piece dress on. carrying a tennis racket.
"I am off to my tennis lesson!" she tells everyone, "My instructor's name is Gunther. What an odd name. However, he is quite the gorgeous man with muscles out to here," she gestures way out from her shoulders, "and he says I have possibilities."
William rolls his eyes. Possibilites indeed!!!



Page 60......Tennis, Everyone??.........by Terri


Rosamond saunters out of the country club and onto the tennis court. She shades her eyes with her hand. Oh, there is Gunther! Gunther hurries over to her. "Ah, just in time, babe!" He tosses his blond hair and then runs his fingers through it.
"Hello, Gunther, I hope this dress looks alright." Gunther rakes his eyes up and down. "Looks great to me, babe!" Rosamond looks puzzled. Babe? As in BABY?
The lesson progresses without incident. Rosamond thinks, this is easy, any game that has LOVE in it! Gunther thought that was, how did he put it? "charmingly amusing, cherie."
The lesson is winding down. "How about we stop off at the club for a Long Island Ice Tea, Rosie?" Rosamond is not much of a drinker. "Ohhhh, that's sounds great. Bethia and John are from Long Island, I didn't know they grew tea there."
Gunther laughs. "C'mon, babe, let's go."
They are seated at a quiet table. Gunther puts his hand on her knee. Rosamond frowns. Isn't this a bit forward? He slides his hand up her thigh. Rosamond's hand sweeps down and grasps his wrist. "What do you think you are doing?"
Gunther leers, "Hey, you are the one who lives in a commune! Society is 40 years past the Summer of Love! You know, free love and all that stuff! My parents were at Woodstock--told me all about it!"
Rosamond brightens. "Ohhh, Woodstock--that's a nunnery!"
Gunther winks, "Yeah sure babe, but you sure didn't leave it a nun!"
Rosamond is totally confused. She decides to drop the subject. "These Long Island Ice Teas are delicious. I'll have another."
Five Long Island Ice Teas later and Rosamond is sliding down off the chair. Gunther is impressed--usually two ice teas would lower a bunny tennis student's inhibitions. This is costing him more than he figured.. He'd better get something out of it, he thinks. Brad, his fellow tennis instructor, comes over.
"Hey Gunther, looks like you got a live wire there. From the shape of her, I don't think you can score tonight. She'll pass out before you get to first base."
Gunther's face darkens. He hated Brad--Brad got his share of the babes and they were competitive both on and off the court. "Yeah, Mr. Macho, just check my bedpost notched by this evening! You'll find one more on it!"
Brad laughs, "You're on!"
Rosamond is totally passed out by this time. Gunther hoists her up and says to the barkeep, O'Brien, "Gotta get little princess to bed and let her sleep it off!"
O'Brien winks. "Aye, that you do, Mr. Gunther. Sure as I'm standing here, ye'll find a way to perk her right up!"
Gunther calls over his shoulder, "Be sure and tell Brad where I am!"
Rosamond is propped up next to the door frame. She starts giggling uncontrollably as she slides down to the ground. Gunther grabs her back up as he fumbles for his key. He has a white towel to hang over the door knob telling his fellow instructors to 'Keep Out--I got a babe in here!'
As he pushes the door open with his knee and grabs Rosamond by the arms,
John Gwinnett hustles over to them. Damn, Gunther thinks. The Lone Ranger to the rescue.
John quickly assesses the situation. He decides to play this cool. "Rosamond, there you are! William said you were due back home an hour ago. He sent me here to make sure you got home OK."
Rosamond looks at John through blurry eyes. "Ohh, John," she slurs. "I am with Gunther. He's making sure I get home in one piece."
"Yeah, " Gunther says, "so no need for you to take her. She just had too much sun.
She wanted to take a shower at my place before I drop her off."
John looks Gunther in the eye. "I am sure Rosamond doesn't need your help in the shower. Do you treat ALL your students to unlimited liquor and shower privileges?"
Gunther drops Rosamond to the ground. "What are you implying? That I got her drunk and intend to take advantage of her?"
John stands his ground. "No, I am not implying. I know better. You have a reputation around the club as a stud-muffin. Rosamond deserves better treatment than this!"
Gunther balls up his fist and takes a swing at John. John ducks and suckerpunches
Mr. Sweden right in the gut. Gunther doubles over and fallsl to his knees. John then lays him low with a blow that only a man knows how it feels! Gunther is out of commission.
John drags Rosamond to her feet and sighs, "Come on, Rosamond, we are going home."
Rosamond starts to cry. "WHAT home? I have a room in a house with an overbearing overweight dictator, a shrew who would love to wear man's pants 24 hours a day, a simpleton who is too sweet for her own good, and a man who I find desirable who won't give me the time of day! Gunther WANTED me!"
"Gunther makes a habit of taking advantage of new students. It's called 'Gunther's School of Babes and I can't even begin to tell you what you have to do to pass HIS SAT's."
By now Rosamond is standing next to John's car. She starts swinging at him, missing. John grabs her by the wrists. "Do you know what it is like for me to live with you day in and day out and fight the urge to come in your room?"
But Rosamond never hears a word. She slides down to the ground and passes out.
John sighs and picks her up, sitting her in the front seat. Rosamond's tennis lessons were over.
As he buckles her seat belt, he thinks he hears her say, "Must be the CocoPuffs!"



Page 61........Mary Poppins, Inc.?............by Coralynn

Rosamond fans herself with a magazine.
"When does it cool off around here, William?" she asks, "It is so humid, I am melting away. Even the air conditioning you say is so terrific is not enough anymore."
"By the first part of September you will notice a cooling," he answers, "But that's a few weeks off. I think we're all a bit exhausted after interviewing five different women for charlady. Which do you prefer, Rose?"
"Ohhhhhh, let's see: Brunhilde looked mean. She kept giving me threatening looks. I would be terrified to be in the house with her. Cathy was too thin and she whined, so she's no good. Hazel looks to be about 90 years old, so her time as our charlady wouldn't be long enough. Poor old thing, I don't see how she can clean a house leaning on that walker thing she pushes in front of her. What was that other thing she dragged around, that tall thing with the bottle on top?"
"That was an I.V.," William explains, "I think she came here straight from the hospital."
"She needs a job very badly," Bethiah puts in, "I think we should hire her."
"We are not a charity, Bethiah," Eleanor tells her and tries not to sound cruel, so she softens it with, "I will write her a good sized check so that she can reclaim her furniture from the pawn shop. Now that we each have our own checking account at the bank!" she looks triumphantly at William.
"Ahhhhh, yes," he says, then goes on, "What did you think of Maude?"
"I cannot understand a word the woman says," Eleanor shakes her head in disbelief, "Is that English she's speaking or a foreign language?"
"She comes from Queens," John tells her, "They speak funny there."
"Well, seems to me we should have a charlady who speaks the King's English!" Eleanor insists,
"Queen's English," William can't resist correcting her. She has been getting too big for her britches, insisting on separate checking accounts, and what a disaster that will be, and now acting like she is in charge of the domestic decisions as well. He decides he'd better sound more authoritarian.
"Then Celeste it will be, if only from the process of elimination," he declares vigorously. "All in favor?"
"We haven't discussed her yet!" Eleanor is annoyed. She knows William is trying to play the big patriarch again.
"I liked her a lot," Bethiah puts in, "She looks healthy and strong and she told me I have an old soul."
"An old soul?!" Rosamond is incredulous, "Your soul is old? What rubbish!"
"If that's the worst thing about her, I vote we hire her," John suggests.
"All in favor?" William tries again.
Everyone's hand goes up.
They look relieved; one issue solved.
"Any other problems we need to discuss?" William asks.
"YES!" Rosamond stands up decisively, "I would appreciate it if the rest of you didn't follow me around spying on me!" she looks directly at John. She is still embarrassed by how John thought he had to save her from Gunther.
"But, Rose," John begins, "I thought you were in dan....."
"I am a woman grown! I will not be followed around by the House Bloodhound!"
No one else understands what is passing between them, and no one really wants to know. Let them work it out.
"Fine, then, we shall hire Celeste, and we will not follow Rosamond around!" and with that William gives them a 'this meeting is adjourned' look.
Rosamond is still glaring at John. What nerve he has! He doesn't want her, and he won't allow her to take up with anyone else. Well, we shall see about that!


Being that the next day is Wednesday, the Charlady day..........

Our time travelers are almost ready to catch the bus Vinnie drives that takes them to the station for the train into Manhattan, when Celeste arrives.
Celeste is cheerful looking, tall, blonde, with a strong presence about her.
"I'll just get your cleaning products out, and not be in your way. Do you have any special instructions?"
"I don't have to go in to work today," Eleanor tells her, "So I can show you where everything is. Bye bye!" she throws at the others as they leave.
Eleanor shows Celeste where all the cleaning supplies are. She would have preferred Celeste go to the store for them, but at least she was able to drive her own car there last night. Thanks to the friendly people at the store, she was able to assemble this cache of strange looking bottles, brooms, rags, mops, and other odd things she wouldn't have dreamed were cleaning supplies. That thing you plug in the wall.........what was it and why do you have to plug it in?"
"Now we're all set," Celeste exclaims, lining up the supplies expertly.
She then looks at Eleanor closely. "You weren't born in this century, were you?" she asks.
"This century is only a year or two old, so of course not!"
"I don't mean that," Celeste laughs, "I mean you were born 900 years ago, I can tell."
Eleanor is stricken. How on earth.....??
"I'm sorry," Celeste can see Eleanor's expression of alarm, "I don't mean to frighten you, dear, but I am psychic, and I know things."
Eleanor is still speechless.
"Everyone in this house is from another time," Celeste continues, "I knew it the minute I laid eyes on you all. You are time travelers. I love time travelers; they're my favorite people! You would be surprised how many of them there are!!"
Eleanor is still speechless.
Celeste takes her hand, and assures her, "Ahhhhh, Eleanor, I will not tell anyone. Who would believe me anyway? I am just a crazy old charlady that no one takes seriously. Your secret is safe."
Eleanor begins to loosen up, and even manages a smile. This woman is hard to dislike, her intentions are so clearly benign.
Celeste sees the fear dissipate from Eleanor's eyes, and then adds one more thing before she swings into action with the cleaning,
"How were the Crusades, anyway, Eleanor; I hear you rode bareback! What a glorious adventure that must have been! Well, lovey, time to clean the house! Talk with you later!"



Page 62..........the naked truth.............by Coralynn


Eleanor has just returned from a run around the block when she sees Rosamond walking toward the house.
"Early to be home, isn't it, Rose?" she asks.
"I only had one scene and when it wrapped I decided to head back," Rosamond tells her, "How'd the cleaning lady, or charlady as you so quaintly call her, turn out? Is the house immaculate?"
"She's still here, actually," Eleanor tells her as she jogs the last few yards up to the house. "The rooms she has cleaned sparkle like crystal! Wait till you see!"
They enter the house, and in truth it does shine like crystal, or diamonds.
"Whew! this is incredible!" Rosamond is impressed. She leans down and declares, "I can see my reflection in the floor!"
"Ohhhhh, there you are, my dear!" Celeste bustles out of the dining room, "Would you like a spot of tea? You look hot and tired."
"You are sooooo right," Rosamond smiles, "What are you, psychic?"
"As a matter of fact, I am!" Celeste beams as she puts water in the teapot. "Sit here and let me get a look at you."
Rosamond remembers Bethiah saying that Celeste told her she had an old soul, so she sits and wonders what inane thing the woman will tell her.
"You are not happy," Celeste begins, "You are in love with another woman's husband, is that right?"
"HEY!" Rosamond objects, "Has Eleanor been complaining to you about me?"
"Never said a word," Celeste is still calm, "But my question to you is, does this love make you happy? Is this working well for you?"
"It is not working at all!" Rosamond declares, "What I really deserve is a husband of my own!!!!"
"And you shall have one, if you choose it. Nothing is set in stone," Celeste assures her, patting her hand, "Within the next two full Moons you shall meet a man who is a possible husband.. Yes, yes, I can see him now. Tall, very intelligent, wears a lot of tweed, has leather patches on the elbows of his jacket, and smokes a pipe. I see him teaching people about........let's see now........I believe he is teaching history. Yes, yes, that's it. History. He is a gentle soul, an old soul."
"Do you tell everyone they're old souls?" Rosamond interjects.
"Ohhhhhh no, dear," Celeste assures her, "You, for instance, are a very young soul. This is only your third liftime. You have much to learn. This man will aid you in that. But..........there's a cloud.........yes, there's a child you left behind......a boy child. You left him in England."
"Eleanor has been blabbing! I knew it!" Rosamond is angry now, "She is trying to break up Henry and me. She can't stand the competition. She is hard and mean and I am young and beautiful and desirable and voluptuouis......"
Celeste holds up her hand to stop this tirade.
"You must get your child over here from England," Celeste says firmly.
"Do you have any idea how hard that would be?!" Rosamond is beside herself.
"Yes, dear, it would be very difficult. You can do it, though. You can. He is crying for you at this moment. You must bring him here."
"How do you know that?!" Rosamond demands, agitated and pacing around the kitchen.
Celeste reaches into her cavernous duffle bag and brings forth a large crystal ball.
She carefully places it on the table.
Rosamond is bewildered and frightened.
"Now, sit and calm youself so that we can see....." Celeste passes her hands over the top of the ball, over and over, and in a few minutes Rosamond can see things forming. Mist. Land. A building. A castle. The scene moves into the castle and a little boy is looking up at one of the servants, imploring, "When is Mama coming back?"
"I heard that!" Rosamond jumps up like the seat has suddenly become hot as fire.
Then she approaches the crystal ball and and looks even more closely. The child is crying inconsolably as the servant coddles him and rocks him.
"NO, no, no, don't cry, little Will, mummy will be back for you!" she says loudly.
The child looks up as if he is listening to something.
"He heard me?" Rosamond asks, excitedly, "He can hear me?"
"Why yes, he can, this crystal ball is wired for sound," Celeste says, matter-of-factly. "You can hear him, and he can hear you, but he cannot see you."
The vision in the ball fades. Rosamond slumps down in the chair, and begins to cry. "How could I have done that? How could I have deserted that child?" she moans.

Celeste kindly smooths Rosamond's hair and tells her, "You have to begin thinking of others, and when you develop this trait, everything else will fall into place. That is the lesson new souls have to learn. I am sorry this upset you so."
"No, no, that's OK," Rosamond says with clarity, "You have done me a great service and I don't know how to thank you. Now I have to figure out a way to get Will here!!"
"Ahhhhhhh, but you know William, the big William, holds the key to that!" Celeste says, smiling.
"No one is going to believe me, though, when I tell them about this," Rosamond sighs.
"I believe it, Rose!" Eleanor has been in the next room the whole time. "I will vouch for you. William will have to gather a group to go back and fetch little Will. I will see to it."
"There you go!" Celeste says happily, standing up, "900 years of animosity gone, snap, just like that!"
And with that she bade them a fond farewell till next Wednesday when she would return to clean the house and work her magic.



Page 63: Strange Traveling Companions, part #1, by Coralynn


"Everyone into the living room, we're having a meeting!" Eleanor rounds them all up and they sit on plush couches and chairs with levers.
"Rosamond needs to pop over to jolly olde England to fetch her son, little Will," Eleanor announces, "and William needs to get two more people in order to make the coin work."
William takes over, "Who has to work this weekend? Bethiah?"
"I have to work Saturday," she replies, "But truly, William, even if I did not, I could not bear another weekend at Court."
He understands and nods. "Eleanor?"
"I have told you many times that there is no way I am going back to Court, William; this time Henry may imprison me again and I would be stuck there. Sorry, but no."
"John?" William looks to where John is sitting uncomfortably on a couch with a distressed look on his face.
"Henry tried to kill me the last time I was there," he reminds everyone, "I dare not."
"Then Rosamond and I will go, but we're still short one person!" William is frustrated with the situation. "You really feel a need to fetch little Will, Rosamond?"
"Ohhh yes!" she says earnestly, "The child thinks I have deserted him. How sad for him. I have to get him here."
"Who do we know who would go with us and not tell everyone and wreck things for us," William muses, "Vinnie Paponetti? Bill Clinton? Both of them? I don't know too many other people I know well enough to ask. I don't think I trust most of the neighbors, so they're not possiblities. Anyone have any ideas?"
"Ask them both!" Rosamond is becoming excited, "I know they would not tell."
"I will drive you over to Bill's house," Eleanor volunteers, "Let's go right now!"
"Must you drive, Eleanor?" William looks aghast.
"Come, come, now, let us depart!" Eleanor says with a smile, throwing a long silk scraf around her neck, grabbing up her car keys and heading for the door.
William follows her out, glancing imploringly at the others as he closes the door.

It takes Eleanor no more than five minutes to arrive at the Clinton house.
"Oh good!" she says happily, "All the lights are on. He must be home!"
"We could have phoned first," William says weakly.
They ring the bell and in short order Bill has opened the door and looks pleased to see them.
"What brings you out tonight?" he asks. "I'm glad to see you."
They enter the house, and he ushers them into the study.
"I love this room; so full of books!" Eleanor admires the shelves full of books of every size and description.
"I can lend you some if you're interested," Bill offers.
"Well, Bill," William takes charge of the conversation, "I have an incredibly huge favor to ask of you. Please feel free to say 'no' if you cannot do it. This has to be the strangest favor anyone has ever asked of you."
Bill looks interested, "I hope I can help."
Wiliam gathers up all his courage. "First, let me explain: we are time travelers."
"Get out!!!!" Bill exclaims, at which Eleanor stands and begins to leave the room.
"No, I didn't mean it that way, Eleanor!" Bill assures her.
She sits again.
"What times have you traveled to?" he inquires.
"Well, we began back in the 11th and 12th Centuries in England......"
Bill is excited and interrupts, "Then you really ARE William the Conqueror and Eleanor of Aquitaine, am I right?"
"Yes, quite right," William states, "and we are here in the 21st century trying our best to fit in so that no one will ever guess our true identities. Can you imagine the furor if people knew who we really were?"
"Goodness, YES!" Bill exclaims, "But why did you come to this century? Better plumbing, better buildings, what?"
"We thought we were coming here to have Rosamond take a DNA test, as she didn't know the father of her child," William begins, "then we found out that she wasn't with child at all; it was just a trick to keep Henry V111 at bay!"
"But Henry V111 lived quite awhile after you did," Bill is trying to wrap his mind around all this.
"We had this party; actually, it was my idea," William knows he'll have to tell more of the almost unbelievable story, "And it was not time specific. English Royalty from various centuries were in attendance. I know, it was tricky of me....but I have a way to bend time around any way I want. Call it a talent!"
"That is some talent!" Bill's face is animated, "What favor do you need, William? You seem to have things so under control."
"HA!!" William bursts out, "Control! Not really! I have had to keep Eleanor and Rosamond from tearing each other apart......"
The light goes on in Bill's mind, "I get it; that's Rosamond Clifford! Rose is Rosamond Clifford!" and with that he slaps his thigh, "but who are John and Bethiah? I don't recall them from English history."
"Well, no, but you see, we miscalculated and ended up spending a week in 1640 Southold, Long Island," William is embarrassed to tell him.
"With the Puritans!!" Bill laughs, "Did they all but run you out of town?"
"Pretty close, pretty close, but we escaped with our lives and got to 21st century New York City after all."
Bill sits back and shakes his head, "Good thing you're telling me these things; no one else would ever believe you! But I do. You and Eleanor are SO totally William the Conqueror and Eleanor of Aquitaine it's a wonder I didn't realize at once that you were the genuine articles."
Eleanor explains, "We tried ever so hard to fit in, Bill, and be inconspicuous. I know, we have jobs where people call us by our royal names, but they have no idea that we truly are these people. We play along and pretend to be pretending."
"This is remarkable and strange, but somehow so within the realm of possibility," Bill is shaking his head, "We were taught in science classes that time is relative and that time travel is possible. Well, it is, and here you are. But what favor do you need?"
William takes a deep breath and starts in, "We cannot time travel without three people together, and we need to go back to Court this Saturday morning, fetch Rosamond's son, Will, and get back here before nightfall. She misses the child, and, as he is so small, we may be able to convince him he was born in l998. In any event, we only have two people so far. Eleanor cannot go because Henry 11 will lock her up and Bethiah went one other time and it gave her a terrible headache. John dares not go, as Henry 11 will kill him, as he thinks John is having an affair with Rose. He isn't, but don't try to convince Henry otherwise, he is a madman where she is concerned. I'm taking a chance having her go, but she insists. We thought we could trust you to not broadcast our unbelievable story to everyone, and if you could accompany us back to Court, we would be eternally grateful!"
Bill's eyes are round and he smiles.
"I would love to go back to the 12th Century with you!" he is becoming excited at the idea. "YES! I'm IN!"
William and Eleanor both exhale audibly and smile for the first time that evening.
"When do we go?" Bill is eager, "Tell me when and where and I'm there!"
"8 am this Saturday morning at our house," William instructs him, "which will make it Saturday afternoon in England. We can be back before dinnertime."
"Too bad I have to keep this to myself, William, and I WILL keep it to myself, but wouldn't it make an incredible addition to the memoirs I am writing?"
"They would lock you up for being a lunatic!" Eleanor laughs as Bill sees them out.



Page 63: Strange Traveling Companions, part #2...by Coralynn


"We got Bill!" Eleanor announces triumphantly, as she and William return to report on their mission.
"Great!" Rosamond exclaims, "but wouldn't it be a good idea to get one more as an extra just in case?"
"Just in case what, Rose? In case you decide at the last minute that you cannot face Henry?" Eleanor asks.
"Yes, if you must know! I want to have my own husband, and I can't do that if I'm still tied to Henry in any way. If I see him again, I may weaken."
"Ohhh swell!!" William sits down on a plush couch by mistake and the soft folds envelop him. "I suppose we can kidnap the lad. Without his mother along, it would amount to a kidnapping. But hey!! That was the 12th century and they had no laws against that kind of thing back then. I have to remember that at Court they aren't dealing with the same laws we have here in the 21st Century!"
"Then it's settled!" Rosamond claps her hands in glee.
"Not quite," Eleanor brings her back to reality, "We still need one more person. Vinnie? Do we know enough about him to trust him with that kind of information? Do we know if he tells everything he knows to everyone? Is it worth the gamble?"
They all sit pondering this conundrum.
"We could give him a potion that makes him think it was all a dream?" Bethiah asks.
They look at her in surprise. She seems so artless, yet she has come up with a very creative idea.
"That way we wouldn't have to tell him ahead of time!" Bethiah adds.
"We would just lure the poor chap into our circle and zap him off to a place over 900 years ago and expect his wife not to call the Police and put in a missing person's report?" William is incredulous.
"Sure!" Rosamond takes up the idea, "You won't be gone long enough for her to even miss him!"
They sit and ponder that.
"We could invite him over and give him coffee with the potion in it," Bethiah is getting more excited about the idea all the time. "He will drink it, and by the time it wears off, he'll be back here again and we can tell him he was so tired he fell asleep, and he'll tell about the wild dream he had, and we will all act surprised. Yes?"
"I suppose the coin will work even if one of the three people is all doped up!" William muses.
"I'll phone him right now and invite him to breakfast Saturday morning!" Bethiah is on a roll. "All in favor?"
They are still pondering, but since no one has come up with a better plan, they raise their hands limply in the air and groan.
Bethiah goes off to make the phone call.
The other four look at each other, waiting for one of them to pronounce the idea a good one. All they are capable of are grimmaces and looking to the heavens for help..



Page 64: Come Saturday Morning I'm Going Away with my Friends....by Coralynn

"Gloomy looking out there, William," Eleanor comments, looking out the kitchen window, "Will the coin work in foggy weather?"
"I don't think it's sensitive to weather," he answers. "It's almost 7:30. Isn't that when Bethiah told Vinnie to be here?"
"I believe so. She wants him to be doped up by 8 so that we don't have to explain to Bill why Vinnie has to drink coffee before he goes. What a strange situation this is!"
"Here he comes now," William walks to the door. "Oh-oh, he has his wife with him. We should have thought of that! Now what?"
"You'll just have to take her along, too!" Eleanor says, "and as they are at the very door, we don't have time to discuss this, so I'll give them both the doped up coffee."
She retreats into the kitchen to prepare the drinks while William answers the door.
"How wonderful of you to come over for breakfast, Vinnie and Sheila; we're glad neither of you had to work today."
"Dat was a break!" Vinnie clasps William's hand and shakes it vigorously.
Bethiah has been quietly preparing food, and brings forth the eggs and bacon and pancakes, as Eleanor serves the coffee.
"What a cheerful kitchen you have," Sheila tells Bethiah and Eleanor, "Do either of you do a lot of cooking? But, then, you do have the Conquering Chef on the premises, so maybe he does it?"
"He does specialty dishes," Bethiah says diplomatically, "But I do the regular day-to-day food preparation. I love all the modern conveniences.......so much easier than in years gone by."
"That is for sure! The microwave saves me hours of time!" Sheila places her napkin in her lap.
Bethiah realizes that when she said "years gone by" she meant back in 1640, whereas Sheila meant sometime in the not too distant past. She makes a mental note to not ever let it slip that her "yrs gone by" were so very, very long ago.

"Coffee smells like heaven!" Vinnie sips the brew and smacks his lips, "Da youse have any special recipe for it? Da youse put cinnamon on the coffee grounds? Or salt? Or egg shells? Dis coffee is da best I ever tasted!"
Bethiah exchanges conspiratorial glances with William.
Soon the group has consumed the entire breakfast. Compliments are given and William invites them to take a look at the flower garden Bethiah has lovingly created in the back yard. He doesn't know how long it will take for the potion to kick in. He looks at Bethiah and she looks back with that "what now?" question in both their eyes.
A car can be heard coming up the drive. Must be Bill. Right on time.
Bill strides up to the house and rings the bell, but William comes around the side and motions to him that they are in the back.
When Bill sees Vinnie and Sheila, he's confused. "William?" he asks, "are they going with us, and who are they?"
"Long story. Tell you most of it when we return later today. But don't worry, it's OK. This is Vinnie and this is Sheila."
Bill extends his hand. Vinnie nods and shakes it, with an enormous smile on his face. This smile is much broader than his usual smile. William thinks that must be a good sign that the potion is working.
"Come, let us make a circle," he instructs, "The four of us are going to have an adventure. Hang on now, all four."
The air turns color and begins to swirl, faster and faster. Vinnie and Sheila are under the thrall of the potion, but Bill's face registers surprise. What is this?!
As the wind becomes calm again, they find themselves back at court, in front of the castle in which the party was held not that many weeks ago, and in which the hapless Royals are still trapped.
"Oh moii goodness!" Vinnie says happily, "We are on a movie set. What movie are they making here, Will?"
"uhhhhhhhh, Braveheart," William has heard of that movie, though he's not sure the "movie set" was just like this.
"Will there be knights and ladies and Sir Lancelot?" Sheila is all agog. "Is King Arthur and Gueniviere in this movie?"
"Not exactly," William explains, "But we have others, like Henry the 8th!"
"OH, the one with all the wives?" Sheila is excited as they enter the castle, "the monster who killed some of his wives. He frightens me!"
Bill Clinton has been listening to all this and is wondering how on earth these unsophistocated, unwordly people are ever going to keep quiet about this adventure after they return. He shakes his head and hopes William will explain later. In the meantime, he might as well get some good pictures.
Geoffrey le bon steps boldly forward,
"William! At last! Where did you go that last time? We have been unable to locate Henry the 8th! Did you take him when you left?"
"No, I wouldn't take him to another century," William exclaims, "He was bad enough back in his own century without inflicting him on any other. You say he came up missing?"
"Yes, man, I said he is missing! What did you do with him?" Geoffrey is losing his temper.
Sheila hides behind Vinnie. "This man is scary," she whimpers.
"And who are these new people? They aren't the same ones you had with you before!"
"No, these are Bill and Vinnie and Sheila. Folks, this is Geoffrey le bon, the original Plantagenet.
Bill, of course, knows his history and is most interested. He begins asking Geoffrey about some of the finer points of history as reported in the books he's read. Geoffrey is wondering who on EARTH this person is and why is he asking such detailed questions. It is becoming annoying.
"Where did you all get those strange articles of clothing?" he demands.
William had almost forgotten that the time travelers would look odd to the folks at Court.
"This is proper arraignment for the century in which I am now living," he informs Geoffrey, "And I would appreciate a lot more respect out of you, Whelp!!!!"
Geoffrey reels backward. This is William for sure even if he is wearing stupid clothing.
Victoria is just inside the castle doors and approaches William. "Henry has gone missing! What did you do with him?"
Sheila asks Vinnie who this Queen is, but Vinnie just shrugs. Bill continues to take pictures.
Elizabeth the First hears this melee and joins it.
"Dear old Dad has gone missing, and I beg of you, William, do not look for him. Just let him stay wherever he's gotten to. Do not, I repeat, do NOT bring him back here. I know you know where he is, too!"
"I do not know where Henry is," William says, word for word like you would explain something to a small child, "I had no idea he had come up missing. I am not here to see him anyway. I am here to see Rosamond's son, Will."
Henry 11 hears that and hurries over.
"What in tarnation are you doing here? Why do you want to see little Will? Where is Rosamond? Where is she, where IS she?"
"Far away," is all William will say.
Henry's eyes squint angrily and he demands, "Where is Eleanor? It's time for her to go back to the castle where she is kept prisoner. Where have you hidden her? Has she escaped to France??"
William is getting tired of this and tells Henry 11 that indeed Eleanor is in France. Why not? Let Henry invade France, looking for her. William is beyond caring.
William sees a child walking in the garden behind the castle......he just spies him through the slits in the walls. Must be little Will. He leads the others out and to the back of the castle, trying not to attract too much attention, which is difficult, as everyone in the castle, be they royal or commoner, is gaping at the small oddly-dressed group.

"Will? Little Will?" our intrepid leader calls softly, "Come see grandpapa."
The child pauses, looks quizzicly at the group, then walks ever so slowly toward them. He points at Bill with a question written all over his face.
Bill has been taking pictures. As the others look at him, he smiles and continues taking pictures. Little Will is so fascinated by this thing the strange man is holding in front of his face, that he comes up close. Bill squats and shows the child what he has in his hands, and it's at that point William decides to get them out of there.
"Let us play Ring-around-the-Rosey, Little Will!" he suggests.
Little Will is fixating on Bill. William looks at Bill intensely and again says, "Let us play Ring-Around-the-Rosie."
Bill gets the message, and the five people all take hands. Some begin to sing the little rhyme, while William concentrates, coin firmly in hand. The air changes color and swirls faster and faster. Little Will almost drops Bill's hand, but Bill quickly grabs it back.

The air calms and they are again in the backyard in Chappaqua where they started. Little Will looks around, dazed. Rosamond has been looking out the kitchen window, and, when she sees the group touch down, runs out and enfolds the child.
"Mummy! Mummy!" he cries in glee and happiness.
Bill takes another picture.
Bethiah rushes out to see if all went well. William gives her the thumbs-up look and she sighs. Vinnie and Sheila are looking dazed and tired, so Bethiah leads them indoors and lets them sit on the plush couches which will aid in their sleeping. This is better than she had planned; they will indeed BE asleep, so that part won't be a lie.
She looks at Rosamond and Little Will, just coming into the house.
"Where is THIS??!!" the child asks. "This is not home. This is not at Court. Where are we, Mummy?"
"This is your real home, Will. Court was just a long dream you had. Now you're awake and home."
"I gotta get me one of those cameras!!!!" Little Will tags after Bill. "Can you get me one?"
"Certainly, little Will," Bill tousles the boy's hair, then says more loudly to the others, "Thanks for the one in a million adventure, William. Talk to you later. I still have some questions. Ohhhh, and I have some sensational pictures!!" with that he waves and drives away.



Page 65: Where there's a way......there's no Will!....by Terri


Henry II goes out of the castle into the walled courtyard. As long as Little Will is here, Rosamond will come back, he reasons. "Wills! Where are you? Time for your riding lessons--mustn't let up on it--a fine horseman you will make and then you shall go on the hunts with me. Wills? WILLIAM!" Henry looks around and realizes that the others are gone, also.
"GEOFFREY!" he bellows.
Geoffrey comes out, holding a cold beef to his face. Henry looks in astonishment.
Is this the father that he feared sporting a bruise and a black eye and holding meat to his face?
"Geoffrey, what the hell happened to you?"
Geoffrey winces. "That bastard William hauled off and decked me one! For being pretty chunkified, that man packs a mean whallop!"
Henry storms around the courtyard, "Well, we have bigger problems than that!
Henry VIII is missing, and that motley crew absconded with Rosamond's son Will."
Geoffrey sinks down on the bench. "Oh, who cares---you can always father another bastard. Wenches are a farthing a dozen here. Besides, you never paid that much attention to your legitimate sons, never mind the ones born from your dalliances!"
Henry whirls around. "It's not about Will--it's about losing! A Plantagenet never loses, be it castles, kingdoms or wenches. You should know better than anyone!
Eleanor is a woman with a two-edged sword for a tongue. Rosamond was a comfort. Not to mention a pretty great looking one, too! Rosamond could always make me laugh."
Geoffrey claps his hand on Henry's shoulder. "Or make you feel like a man, as well as a king?"
Henry smiles ruefully. "Rosamond made me feel....alive! Lord knows I hadn't felt that way in a long time...and I can't ever remember feeling that way with Eleanor. Eleanor
would be content to wear a suit of armor under that gown of hers."
Geoffrey bursts out laughing! "And Rosamond would be content to wear nothing under hers, is that what you are saying?"
Henry can't help but laugh. "Rosamond is pretty well a free spirit. I know she started out to see how she could advance herself by sharing my bed. But I honestly think there is some...chemistry....between us. A combustible fire neither one of us can explain...or care to put out!"
Geoffrey cuffs Henry playfully on the arm. "Then take care...lest ye get burned!
Fires like that roar out of control, and then someone gets singed. Then all you can think about is the pain and getting relief from it calls for ice! Try not to let your heart turn to ice, Henry. If you do, you may as well stop living."
Henry rubs his chin pensively. "I wonder why Rosamond did not come herself to pick up 'Will. And what of that other fellow John Gwinnett? Think ye that they are together?"
Geoffrey sighs. "Anything is possible, Henry. Yet if they are together, I wonder why Gwinnett did't try to pick up the little lad himself. T'would score alot of points with the little lady."
Henry admits, ''Mayhaps because I tried to off the competition. I thought an errant arrow would discourage him---permanently!"
Geoffrey bellows, "How many times have I told you to keep your friends close and your enemies closer? FOOL!"
Henry stiffens. Geoffrey had never been king in his own right but sired a great line. Henry was still in awe of him.
Henry swears. "It's that damn coin of William's that has caused all of this. If he hadn't shown up, Rosamond would still be here and Eleanor would be safely esconced away."
Geoffrey retorts, "And then you would still have the mother of your legitimate children locked up and your concubine languishing in your chambers. Your problem is that you made your tart too visible. What do you think lords of the chambers are for? That is what that clandestine stairway is for anyways. Your big mistake is taking up with a young maiden instead of dallying with a married woman. At least if she gets in the family way, you can always pass the little bastard off as her cuckolded husband's and none the wiser. As it is, you have lost Eleanor, (no great loss) Rosamond, and now little Will. A three time loser if you ask me!" With that, Geoffrey turns and strides back into the castle.
Henry picks up his dagger and throws it at the door Geoffrey just closed.
"By God, I will get them both back...and then I will teach Rosamond to defy me....later!"



Page 66: I had the Craziest Dream.........by Coralynn


Vinnie groans and opens one eye. He looks over at Sheila, who is also beginning to rouse.
"We must have fallen asleep after breakfast," he stretches out, "I had the craziest dream! That was some breakfast, Bethiah!"
Bethiah goes over to the couch where the two are still enfolded in the plush leather, and, with concern on her face, says, "I am sorry if the breakfast was too large; sometimes I get so caught up in cooking that I make enough for a twenty people. Are you feeling alright?"
Sheilda smiles wistfully and tells her, "I dreamed I was in Camelot. A brave Knight rode up on a white horse and whisked me onto the saddle with him and rode off with me to the moors."
Vinnie shakes his head, "I had a dream we were at a Castle and I had ta sucker-punch an enemy of King Arthur. Then da King, he give me his best sword for being brave. Fair damsels were all around, vying for my attention!"
Sheila gives him a dubious look, "You and fair damsels? Oh please, don't make me laugh!"
"Go ahead n laugh! I was a hero! I was about to be a Knight of da Round Table!"
Sheila and Vinnie argue back and forth about whose dream was the best while William walks into the kitchen to keep them from seeing him laugh. He sits at the table while Rosamond, John and Eleanor wait to hear the real story.
He whispers, "We have to wait till they leave."
Eleanor strides energetically into the living room, "Vinnie, Sheila, would you like a ride home?"
"I think I can drive," Vinnie says with pride, "after another cup of dat great coffee!"
Bethiah has made a regular pot and suggests they join everyone else in the kitchen.
They stumble into the kitchen and collapse on the chairs.
After Vinnie takes a good long swallow of coffee he comments, "Dis ain't the same coffee, youse guys. Dat stuff dis morning was much betta!"
"I'm sorry, but I ran out of that kind," Eleanor tells him, trying to act concerned. "It's a special blend."
After drinking two more cups of the regular coffee, Sheila rises and says, "Come along, Vinnie," then looks at the clock on the wall, "It's late! My word, we slept the day away!"
"Dat we did," he agrees, "sorry about dat, folks, didn't mean da be rude."
"We totally understand," Eleanor is slowly ushering them toward the door.
When the door finally closes behind them, she breaths out audibly and walks briskly back into the kitchen, "OK, William, tell us! What happened?"
Rosamond has put little Will down for a nap, and is eager to hear as well.
"As you can see," William begins, "We succeeded in fetching little Will back from Court. Sheila and Vinnie have no idea where they were. You heard them; they thought it was a dream. Good plan, Bethiah, and well executed, Eleanor. We weren't there very long, but there seem to be problems at Court of which we were unaware."
"What problems are those?" Rosamond is eager to hear. "Is my Henry languishing away in his grief over me not being there?" she looks up hopefully.
"No he is not languishing away missing you, in fact he has all but forgotten you," William lies. He hates to lie, but this is a non-issue as far as he's concerned and doesn't want to waste time on it.
He gets down to the real problem:
"Henry V111 has come up missing."
They all look at him with disbelief.
"Someone has mislaid Henry? How could you mislay something that huge?"
William shakes his head, "I am dumbfounded. He has not been seen at Court since we saw him the last time we were there. I know he has not a way to go to his own timeframe; he is trapped there with the rest. He is too large to successfully hide in a nook or a cranny," at that the others laugh, "but each person at Court told me the same thing, and, to make matters worse, accused ME of having absconded with him. That will be the day, when I willingly take HIM anywhere. But he indeed is not there."
"What does this mean?" Rosamond is concerned. She fled away from Court the first time to escape his attentions, and now he is loose somewhere??
"I have not one idea what it means!" William slaps the table and makes a wry face.
"Surely we did not bring him back with us!" Eleanor says the obvious.
"He wasn't a very good chap anyway!" John puts in, "Do we really care where he is?"
The others nod agreement.
"But it still bothers me somewhat," William confesses, "As I am an expert on this kind of time travel, and if he is not at Court, and he has no way to get back to his own century, this is a riddle I can not solve. I hate it when I cannot solve something!"
"Yes, yes, we know, we know, you are a proud man," Eleanor pats him on the shoulder, "but for now let us just think of other things. Mayhap you will figure it out yet. You've had an adventure today, so let us be glad of your success and think of how to welcome little Will and make him at home. How does he, Rose?"
"He is confused about which location is his real home," Rose tells them, "but I will keep telling him that this is real and Court was a long dream. He is just over three years old. Won't he in time believe it and forget the other place?"
"Very possibly, in fact, probably, we will all reassure him that this is his real time," John wants to make her feel secure about the boy, "I will take him under my wing and teach him the modern ways. At least the ones I understand. Twill be odd teaching him while I myself am not all that sure!"
"I know what you mean, John," Bethiah sighs, "I have been learning all I can of this century and my head is aching from it. There is so much to know."
Rosamond straighten up a bit more, and they can see she is getting ready to say something she isn't totally comfortable saying,
"Will cannot share a room with me for long," she begins, "Can we not find him another room more appropriate for a little boy? Some place all his own?"
William raises one eyebrow at her. "Thinking of having assignations in that room, Rose?"
She blushes and stammers, "I am surprised you would think such a thing. Bethiah is the one with the lover, after all, not me!"
"Lover?" Bethiah is confused by the term, "We go out walking and see a movie and talk and once took a canoe out on a Lake; does that mean I have a lover?"
"No, no, no," William assures her, "Rose just likes to stir up trouble, don't you, Rose? Well, there is going to be no trouble, and no bedroom assignations with that child in the house."
Rosamond looks crestfallen, "The child deserves his own room. I shall have one built on the house. I make a lot of money, I can afford it!"
"You'll have to go to the building department and get a permit and there is a lot more to it than just slapping up another room," William warns her, "It has to be inspected and all manner of regulations have to be met. This, as you have already noticed, is not Court back in the 12th century where there were few rules except at the fancy of the King."
"Then I shall follow their rules. I shall do it the way these modern people do. And, if they don't approve, I'll do it anyway!"
"That my girl, Rosie!" William stands up and laughs, "A way around any problem, aye?



Page 67......Mon Cheri Henri................by Terri (& ROSAMOND'S PIPEDREAM)

Rosamond wanders into the library where William is perusing cookbooks left behind by the previous owner. She has a cup of coffee for him and a dozen donuts, plus a cup of cappuccino for herself.
She flops down on the couch. "Sometimes I feel like I could use a brandy. I love Will dearly but he wears me out. Such an inquisitive child!"
William smiles indulgently. "Like his mother, perhaps?"
Rosamond smiles back. Then she looks serious. "I have an unusual request to make, William. I feel I owe it to Henry to at least let him know where Will is and that he is safe. Is there a way to get a letter to Henry?"
William rubs his chin. "Yes, I have a way..it is very unorthodox and kind of silly. If you write a letter, I can get it to him."
Rosamond stretches her back. "I had better write. Lord only knows what I will say to him...I stole his son and Henry NEVER lets go of what is his. I suppose at the moment I can be thankful that an ocean and 800 years separate us."
She runs up the stairs, passing John Gwinnett on the way. She has had a hard time looking him in the eye since the whole Gunther affair. When they worked together, each went to their own separate dressing rooms. Rosamond couldn't figure it out. She loved Henry with all her heart, but it wasn't her heart that wanted John....
About an hour later, Rosamond comes down. She had been crying. "Here, William.
Would you please get this to the 12 century for me?"
William turns the letter over. It has been sealed with wax and little hearts drawn on it. William takes it into the kitchen. It is a weird idea but in theory it should work.
He takes the blender, takes the blades out. Then he tosses the letter and the coin into the pitcher. Setting it on frappe, the letter and coin whirl around and around. The blender begins to shake and glow. William smiles with satisfaction. Hamilton Beach never had THIS in mind! After 30 seconds, William shuts it off. He looks inside.
The coin is still there but the letter is gone...

Fergis, the Lord of the Chamber, comes into Henry during his supper. "Sire, this was found in the kitchen. It was laying on the butcher block. And it is addressed to you with strange markings on it."
Henry holds out his hand and Fergis hands him the letter. He tears it open. Glancing at the signature-----Rosamond! He catches his breath! Maybe some word of when she was coming back to court! It read.....
Mon cher Henri,
When you receive this, little William will be snug in his bed in the 21st century. I
am sorry to do this, my love, but a child needs to be with his mother. I know you
feel I have wronged you. And you hate to be crossed. But things are complica-
ted. Sometimes I feel such a longing for you....yet I know I have done things
wrong and I have to make up for them. For the time being, I have to stay in the
21st century. There are situations that you could never understand and I don't
know where to begin to explain them to you.

Henry looks up. That trollop! He knew Gwinnett was involved. Done things wrong!
I don't have to read between the lines to realize that strumpet was between the sheets with that...that....Saxon! He resumes reading.

Yet you have wronged me too, my love. I have heard how you tried to kill John
Gwinnett. Yet if it had not been for him, all three of us would have ended up dead.
He has saved me numerous times and for that you should be grateful. Will has
really taken to him and he has become a father figure to him.
I love you, mon cher, but I don't know what the future holds for us. Perhaps we
should move on with our lives and other people...

Henry lets out a stream of obscenities, picks up his plate and throws it against the wall, shattering pottery and glass all over the castle wall. He picks up his goblet and squeezes. The glass splinters and he dashes it to the floor. Rosamond will NOT get away with this...she will pay...and pay... and pay.

ROSAMOND'S PIPE DREAM........by Terri

Eleanor is sitting in the kitchen, eating a hardy breakfast, looking through the classified ads. William comes in and grabbs a skillet, preparing an omelet for his breakfast.
Eleanor looks up and says, "Well, the Renaissance Festivals are closing until next spring. What in heavens name am I qualified for, William? "
William smiles, "Well, jousting was your specialty, I wonder if there are some prisoners on death row they want you to skewer?"
"Don't be flip, William. I just hope I don't have to go see Mr. Simpson again. Calling me Nellie of Octaine! Ooooh, I'd love to run him through!"
"Have you considered college courses? I think it might be a good idea if some of us get an education. It can't hurt--you are executive material, Eleanor, a few business courses couldn't hurt."
Rosamond comes in wearing a one piece jammies with the feet in them. Her eyes are all bleary.
William and Eleanor can't believe their eyes. "What happened to you, Rosie?
Did you give up trying? Usually it is black panties and an angel's face!"
Eleanor whispers to William, "Bet there is a power flap in the back!"
William pinches her leg. "Ow! No need for that--Rosamond, this is quite a change from your usual apparel. Does this mean John is finally off the hook? Oooh, I get it!
Saving yourself for that cute tennis pro, Gunther, hmmmmm?"
Rosamond turns red. She did not want her foolishness with Gunther to be spread all over the house. Eleanor already thought she was a trollop with no morals.
Rosamond draws herself up. "If you must know, I rubbed myself down with olive oil to keep my skin soft and the warmth of this flannel keeps the body heat in...something of which you know nothing about, Miss Snake-in-the-Grass!"
Eleanor jumps up, knocking a chair aside. "Know nothing about WHAT, you...you..
pisky-mazed little tart!"
Rosamond gets a superior look on her face. "Yes, that's right Eleanor---you know nothing about body heat! Henry told me you had cold feet...along with the rest of you, including your heart!"
Eleanor balls up her fist, but William grabs her wrist. "Enough of this! I am THIS close to sending you both back to England and letting Henry sort through this. I am getting too weary and this is HIS problem."
Rosamond grows pale. "I can imagine what is going on there. Henry has gotten my letter by now. He must be furious. I don't know what I can do to make amends."
Eleanor smirks, "Sure you do, sugar! Are you sure that flap isn't a welcome mat?!"
Rosamond starts to hurl Eggo's at Eleanor. Eleanor catches every one of them with one hand, without dropping her coffee cup. William's mouth drops open.
"Eleanor! That is fantastic! Where did you learn to catch like that?"
Eleanor just writes it off to nothing. "The boys always wanted to play games like that.
Since I love the outdoors and their father was busy with INDOOR sports, (looking hard at Rosamond) I taught them all I could."
William rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmmm...just a thought, but you did manage to pull one over on that MacLaughlin fellow at the festival, making him think you were a knight." Then to himself, he says, "George Steinbrenner can't be any smarter...
Yankees.....pennant....naw! Maybe? POSSIBLY! This bears thinking out!" With that William leaves the room.
Eleanor turns to Rosamond, "What was that all about?"
Rosamond replies, "I don't know....does anyone ever know what William is up to?"
Eleanor says, "Well, William has eyes in the back of his head. I saw how he smacked you on the bum for pulling that big seduction plan you spun for John."
Rosamond is stunned. "Is there anyone who doesn't know about that?"
Eleanor says, "I just happened to get up for some aspirin. I drank too much at the housewarming party and I heard William rake you over the coals."
Rosamond tosses her head. "Well, Celeste said there was a man in my future...a smart intelligent man who knows his history. Perhaps a teacher. I am going over there to check it out! She said he will be wearing a tweed jacket with leather patches and smoking a pipe. My dream lover is waiting..and why should I keep him waiting any longer?"
Rosamond goes upstairs to get dressed. She puts on a cashmere sweater two sizes too small and a plaid miniskirt. As she descends the stairs, John Gwinnett
is at the bottom.
"Rosamond! I am going over to the college to check on some classes. Would you like a ride?"
Rosamond thinks her insides would burst. She feels her face get hot. She faints dead away on the stairs. Just before everything turns black, she sees John Gwinnett standing there, wearing denim jeans.....and a tweed jacket.....with leather patches..and a pipe is sticking out of his pocket!


Page 68: Born to be Wiiiiiiild..........by Coralynn


"I can drive you all over to the college," Eleanor volunteers. "Bethiah, you need to take a course in American History, this would be perfect to get you up to date so you can discuss things with Steven and not feel so ignorant."
Bethiah looks up from the magazine she has been reading and smiles, "That would be great; maybe I could find out what has happened between 1640 and now. Would that course teach me these things?"
"Exactly!" Eleanor encourages her. "Come along!"
All four head for Eleanor's car, leaving William to say, "Drive carefully, Eleanor! Please!" as the front door closes. He grimmaces. That woman drives like she was being chased by demons.

"The college is just the other side of town," Eleanor tells them as she speeds along the road, turning the car radio on to an Oldies rock station. "Born to be wiiiiiiiild" is heard at top volume. She sings along with it. The others look at each other in amazement; how does this woman learn all these things?!
Even with the radio on full blast, they soon hear the siren.
"What is that loud sound??" Bethiah asks in alarm.
"The radio, my dear," Eleanor answers, beating out the rhythm of the song on the steering wheel.
"No, I mean that steady high whining sound coming closer and closer," Bethiah says, turning her head to see what might be behind them.
"You don't like that sound, then I shall have to drive faster so you don't have to hear it," Eleanor says cheerily, speeding up even more.
The sound becomes deafening. Even Eleanor is becoming concerned.
Flashing lights come up alongside.
"Well, this is just stupid," Eleanor complains, "I shall have to tell these people to not be such pests!" She stops the car, and gets out to deal with whoever is making such a nuisance of themselves.
The Police Officer is very tall, very large, and very angry.
"Listen, lady," he says loudly, "You were going 80 in a 55 mile an hour zone, what's the rush?"
"What do you care?" Eleanor cannot understand this man's concern, "I was not bothering you. Why do you come at us with such a horrible sound and flashing lights? I really ought to report you as a menace on the highway!" she finishes, feeling very satisfied that she has put this troublemaker in his place.
"I am the LAW!" the Cop tells her, getting right up in her face, "I am reporting you! Not the other way around! Let me see your license!"
"License?!" Eleanor is confused, "What's a license?" Actually, Sheila had told her that she needed a License in order to drive the car anywhere other than in her own driveway, but Eleanor didn't fully understand what Sheila meant, so she skipped it.
"NO LICENSE?! Driving without a license?! Let me see your old license, then."
Eleanor's voice becomes a lot softer now, "I have never had a license," she states, smiling at him, hoping that will help her cause.
Rosamond has rolled down her car window and taken in this conversation, and at this point, steps out of the car, toward the Cop.
"Haven't I seen you in the Grand Union supermarket?" she asks him, smiling in her most beguiling fashion, "You sure are one big, handsome guy. By goodness! Do you ever wear a tweed jacket with leather patches? No? What a pity!"
He looks at Rosamond and shakes his head. This is an odd one. First he has this aggressive woman with no license, now he had to deal with one of the seductive ones. His Dad told him to go into another line of work. Plumbing, Siding and Roofing, Brick-laying, anything but the police. He's beginning to think his Dad had a point.
By now Bethiah is also outside the car trying to size up the situation.
"Hi!" she approaches the Cop, "I'm Bethiah, what's your name? We're on our way to register for a class in American History. Have you even taken a course like that? Did you learn a lot? I can't wait to learn all about it!" she is prattling nervously now, as she has no idea what's going on.
"Of course I took American History," he says, annoyed, "but I am more concerned with how fast your friend here drives. Lady, I'm giving you a ticket!" and proceeds to write information on a pad of forms.
"Ticket?" Rosamond says demurely, "to what, pray tell? To a Shakespearean play? You see, I learned all about Shakespeare on TV. He wrote a lot of plays, though some people say he didn't actually write them, but they can't decide between them who did....."
"STOP!" the Cop extends an arm as if to ward off an attacking dog, "You are all nuts! Do you live around here, or, hopefully, are just driving through? I'm giving your driver this ticket, then I am OUT of here!" and he thrusts the paper at Eleanor, gets back into his patrol car and drives away as fast as he can.

Our time travelers still don't understand what just transpired. Eleanor takes the paper and shoves it into the glove compartment and, turning to the others, says cheerily, "Shall be proceed?" Getting no response, she gets back on the road and heads for the college, beating out the rhythm of a new song on the car radio.

William, at home alone, left in peace, turns on the tv to the PBS station.
"Hmmmmmm," he muses, "This sounds good: Jazz, this week featuring the career of Jelly Roll Morton, a Ken Burns program. This could be interesting!"
It is indeed interesting. William is enjoying the program enormously, but then sits up totally straight, his eyes becoming round with shock. "Henry?? Henry the 8th Henry? What is HE doing playing in the Jelly Roll Morton combo? By God, that is him!" With that William looks at the program listing in the TV Guide and sees that the year they are profiling is 1910.
"1910!!" he yells to no one, as he is alone, "In New Orleans, Henry is in New Orleans in 1910!! Good merciful heavens, how did he manage THAT?!"

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