SELL, SELL, SELL!!

LET'S GET PHYSICAL.........by Terri

Rosamond left the lawyer' s office and went home to change. What the heck was Billy Bob thinking? All that money and estates and he leaves it to a little baby? Now how is Julie going to run the ranch from her crib?
Maybe I can get someone to live there and hire a foreman. Oh, and Jake! Poor dog!
I don't think William would mind if I brought him here. He's a well-behaved dog, doesn't even dig. He needs playing and petting. At least Billy Bob thought of the dog.
Seven hundred fifty-thousand dollars? I suppose I could take the 500,000 and put it in the bank and draw interest. The interest alone would pay for a nice wedding. Billy Bob would turn over in his grave if he knew I used his money to pay for a wedding and honeymoon with John!
Celeste was playing with Julie. "Rosamond, this child is a treasure! I am just delighted to have her here!"
Rose hugged Celeste from behind. "It is so wonderful to be here, 'Mom'! I feel so safe and secure. Do you mind watching her while I go to the gym? I need to get rid of this tension."
"And see John!"
"Yes, that too. I have a few things to talk over with him."

Rose changed into her workout clothes, hopped in her car and drove to the fitness center. As she walked in, John was on the phone and motioned her in. She sat in one of the chairs.

He was more than a little perturbed. "What do you mean, you won't be in today? Michele, I NEED you to lead this aerobics class in the next fifteen minutes!.... What? I have twenty people of all shapes and sizes waiting. It's one of the most popular classes.....I don't care if you have a splinter in your hand....well, if it gets infected, just take some keflex!...no..no, Michele, I know this is just an excuse so you can go to that new mall opening...what do you mean, how did I know? I happen to be, er, involved with a woman who could show YOU a thing or two about shopping..yeah, yeah, I know you heard...I got most of the charges down..why am I making excuses to YOU?...Michele? If you aren't here in the next 15 minutes, your hours will be reduced to three hours a week...You what? You QUIT? GOOD! Now I don't have to fire you!"
SLAM!

John ran his hands over his face. "NOW what am I going to do? I could send in Slim but he would treat it like bootcamp. Rafe isn't experienced enough and I certainly can't see Daniel leading a class. He can't even lead his own life! HEY!"
"Hey what?"
"Babe, I've seen you move. Would you? Could you?"
"Would I-could I what?"
"Take over the aerobics class...just until I can hire someone?"
"Who, ME??"
"Why not? You are at the peak of physical fitness...you have stamina, you are popular, and if the guys catch you in that sports bra and shorts, they will be lining up to join the class."
"Gwinnett, are you trying to sell this fitness center with S-E-X?"
John grinned. "YES! Whatever it takes! No, seriously, I am between a rock and a hard place. Could you take it? Just for now?"
Rosamond smiled dubiously. "I suppose so...if I can pick the music!"
"ANYTHING! CD's are over in the corner."
Rose pulled out a few CD's. The class participants started coming in one at a time.
"Where's Michele?" an overweight jock asked.
"She had a previous committment. She may not be back. So I am all you have."
By the time 12:00 noon rolled around, the class numbered 15 men and 10 women.
Rose said, "I am Rosamond, your aerobics teacher for today. This is like school. I am your substitute teacher. There will be no fake excuses, no potty breaks and no spitballs thrown at the teacher. I expect you to treat me like you do Michele. Let me rephrase that..I expect better of you. We are going to burn fat off like you wouldn't believe! If you feel the need to pass out, please move to the side and put your head between your knees so we don't steamroller over you. Everyone ready? OK, Let's stretch!"
And the class moved on to the sounds of Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical!"

After the 45 minute class, Rosamond came into John's office and plopped herself down on the chair."Gwinnett--you owe me! A nice steak dinner! Whew! What a workout!"
Daniel stuck his head in the office. "Rose, that was terrific! I could almost see the blubber melt off them--ALMOST!"

John looked up sharply. "Daniel! We do NOT use the word 'blubber' about our clientele! Even if it is the truth!"
Rose wiped her face down with a towel and stood in front of the fan in the office.
"Uh, honey? Can I ask another favor of you?"
"What now?"
"Can you do the 5:30 class?"
"JOHN!" she wailed. "My electrolytes will flush out!"
"Take some Gatorade!" He came up behind her, put his arms around her and whispered in her ear. "Please? Pretty pleeeeease?" She closed her eyes and leaned back into him."Mmmmm...how can I resist when you put it like that?" She snapped him with her towel. "Alright. But we have to talk. It's about the will."
"What about it?"
"He froze his assets and left just about everything to Julie."
"You're KIDDING!"
"No--she gets the ranch, the insurance, the savings accounts. That is going to be one rich little heiress when she turns 21." "What do you get--besides your freedom?"
"500,.000 the first year, 250,000 the next. Provided I don't remarry. Oh! And I get to stay at the ranch. He even provided for the dog Jake. Very thorough!"
"Screw the money--we don't need it. The best revenge on what he put you through is to live happily ever after. With his archenemy!"
Rosamond picked up her stuff. "I'll be back at 5:15."

At 5:15 Rosamond was true to her word. She was refreshed and raring to go.
"OK, John, this is basically an aerobics class with a kickboxing segment. I'd better go." "Babe, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this!" She grinned, "Tell me later---I have a class to teach--who'd a thought it?" The good, the flab and the ugly all lined up for Rosamond's class.
She began. "OK, most of you may have heard, Michele has moved on to greener pastures. I am Rosamond, I am temporarily leading this aerobics class with a kickboxing spin on it."
Daniel stuck his head in the room and yelled, "Listen to her! She knocked me flat on my butt last year, I remember when...."
Rose slammed the door on him.
"As I was saying, I am just helping out. We are going to get the blood pumping and burn off some calories. If you feel like you are going to puke, please leave the area. Don't push it. Take it......" Rosamond stopped suddenly because she saw a sight that chilled her blood. "....easy."
It was Officer Travis McGee, come to call, in his khaki shorts and his Marine T-shirt. He was standing there with his water bottle and towel, staring hard at her.
Their eyes locked. He stared at her as if he dared her. She thought, OK, McGee. You want it? Come and get it! I aim to knock you flat on your butt!
"Let's start with some leg stretches!" The group stretched to the sounds of the B-52's. Travis stretched and had a hard time keeping his balance. He listed forward, he listed backwards.
"Everyone warmed up? Ready? If you want to back out of the class, do so now because there's no going back. If you don't break a sweat, you aren't working hard enough. By the time I get done with you all, you'll be begging for boot camp!"
Someone whispered, "I heard she's Billy Bob Montgomery's widow."
"Trying to work off her frustration, I guess." someone whispered back and then giggled.
'Heard she has a thing with the boss here. Everyone who was at that wedding were treated to a real scene..." someone else whispered.
Rosamond hollered, "No talking in the ranks, if it continues, I boot you out!"
Someone else yelled, "Sir, yes SIR!" Everyone laughed.

Travis was not amused. Make a fool of me, will you? All that politeness and concern and good manners doesn't count with a little trollop like you! Assaulted, HAH!! Having a fling was more like it! Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage, huh? She wasn't even married a year to the guy and already she was cheating on him! Now he's dead..and I know they had to be behind it..she sure isn't the grieving widow..look at her in those shorts and little shirt...who does she think she's fooling?..not Travis McGee...I'll nail the two of you for murder...and making a fool out of me!....Look at those shorts..Travis broke out in a sweat and he hadn't even started exercising yet.
Rose yelled, "Listen up in that back row!" She was looking right at Travis. "If you aren't up to it, leave now! Everyone ready? OK! Let's go!"
Travis moved right, the rest moved left. Everyone did leg lunges. Travis did too....but backwards. Everyone kicked their legs high and forward. Travis did too.. right into the face of a 200 lb woman. "OW! OW! OW!" the woman screamed. That brought Rose to a screeching halt. "Everyone keep going. Don't stop!"
She walked over and took the woman's face in her hands and looked at her bloody nose. "What happened?"
"That guy there--he doesn't know what he's doing! He kicked backwards and hit me right in the face!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Not!"
"TOO!"
The class continued to kick and punch and jump and lunge.
"OK, McGee. I think you had better quit until you can follow instructions!" she admonished. "You haven't listened to a word I said."
Travis sneered, "I may not have listened to a word you said but I sure am hearing loud and clear what your body is saying. And it sure isn't prostrate with grief! Helping the bossman out, are you? Yeah, sure! I think the two of you plotted and planned this and I will catch the two of you! Yes, ma'am--grieving widow--HAH!"
Travis bent over to pick up his water and towel.
RIIIIPPPPP!!
He looked behind and his shorts had split from stem to stern. He wrapped his towel around his shorts and glared at her. "You'll trip up. And when you do, I'll catch you! Make a fool of me, will you?"
Rose looked over, the class was keeping time to the music.
She said softly, "I AM sorry if I hurt your feelings, Officer McGee. I never meant to."
But Travis just turned and walked out, towel and all.

After the class, Rosamond went into the locker room, showered and changed. She stopped in John's office.
"OK, I'm done! And done in!" She stretched her legs out. John sat at the edge of his desk.
People were sticking their heads in.
"Great workout, girlie!"
"Loved it! I actually felt the fat melting off!"
"Hey, are you two an item?....."
"Miss Rose, are you going to be teaching the class from now on?"
Well, I'm definitely coming back, just to see you do those jumping jacks, little lady!"
John closed the door and pulled the blinds shut. "How about it, little lady? Do you want a job?"
"What, you want to hire me?"
"Hire you? That's the most people that have ever been in that class!"
"I don't know, John...who will watch the baby? I mean, Celeste is great with Will, but he's older."
"If she can't, why don't you hire Juanita to watch her? She was a great nanny at the ranch."
"Yes, but she was loyal to Billy Bob through and through. She'd never understand about us."
John stepped closer to her and put his arms around her. "So what is your answer, Miss de Clifford. I am offering you gainful employment with company benefits."
"Which would be....?"
"The benefit of my company!"
"And a steak dinner!"
John held her close and laughed. "That too!" and kissed her.
They were unaware of the eyes that watched between the slats in the blinds.
Oh, yeah, the owner of those eyes thought. If it is the last thing I do....!

LIKE MUSHROOMS IN THE SPRING...........by Coralynn

William is returning from taping his cooking show, feeling satisfied that he has both educated and entertained. Ahhhhh, that steak and kidney pie was a blast! Who would ever think to put tofu into such a dish? He grins at the memory, then, as he drives by Henry8's castle, slows down to see what that sign is in the front yard.
"For Sale?!" he exclaims, "For Sale?? Henry would never sell his castle......it's the light of his life!"
Then, as he pulls in front of the big house, ready to turn into the drive, he spots an identical For Sale sign in his own yard.
"What's going on here!" he thunders. As he parks his car and gets out he sees several other cars slow and then stop in front of the property. People are getting out of the cars, advancing on the house.
He goes to the front door and spread-eagles himself in front of it. "Why are you all here?" he asks in a tone that doesn't carry a lot of hostility but also not a hint of hospitality.
"We want to see the inside of this house!" a little woman in a blue coat tells him, "I hear a lot of famous people live here! Wonder why they're selling?"
"They are most assuredly NOT selling! I live here, this is MY house. Go away, shoooo, scat!"
The group of about 8 or 10 people back off slightly, then a very large, tall woman marches up to William, looking at him through slitted eyes, "I've seen you before. You're that Chef on TV."
"That is correct, Madame, and this Chef on TV is not selling his house, so if you'll excuse me...."
He ducks into the house, closes the door and bolts it.
Walking into the living room, he sees Celeste playing with Rose's baby and Bess and Marthy flipping through fashion magazines.
"Do any of you know how that For Sale sign got in our front yard?" he asks impatiently.
They look up at him with confused expession.
"What For Sale sign, William?" Celeste asks.
"Look! See! Out there!!" he gestures to the window. They all crowd around and look out, as flummoxed as William is.
Celeste begins to laugh, "I have a strong feeling our new Real Estate mogul may be responsible for it," she says as she picks up Julie and places her in the baby swing.
"HOTSPUR!! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE SOMEWHERE!" William begins to yell throughout the house, going from floor to floor, room to room.
Hotspur is just coming in the front door when he hears the yelling. He looks at Bess and Marthy for an explanation, but they just giggle.
"Ohhhh there you are, Hotshot, Hotpants, Hotsport, HotTamale!!" William says angrily, "Who gave you permission to put a For Sale sign out front, ohhhh and in front of Henry's Castle as well?"
"You could get two million dollars for this house now that it has additions built on," Hotspur begins his pitch, "That means a huge profit for you. Just think of it!! Then you could buy another house and improve that one and sell it and on and on and on...."
"We didn't buy this house to go 'on and on and on' you fool!" William is fuming. "Go out there and remove that sign this minute! And go across the street and yank that one off the lawn in front of Browns house, too, and over there, in front of Chadwick's house. God almighty, these things look like mushrooms coming up in the Spring!!"
Hotspur goes outside and sadly yanks the sign out of the ground, then does the same across the street at the other houses.
William just doesn't have a business mind, he thinks, William can't see the great possibilities here, but it looks like I can't talk him into it. My glory that man knows how to get mad! Whew!

A thundering banging is heard coming from the back of the house. William goes into the kitchen and sees Henry8 standing outside all but banging down the door.
The minute William opens it, Henry strides in looking even redder in the face than usual. "IS this your idea of a joke, William?" he wags his finger in the other man's face.
"You've met Harry "Hotspur" Percy, have you not, Henry?" William gleefully gestures toward Hotspur, "He thinks we should all sell our property and move UP in life, don't you, Hotpatootie?"

Henry is dumbstruck, "YOU did this, Hotspur? Why?"
"I'm sorry, Henry the 8th, oh King of all England and Husband to many, many Wives, I shall remove them forthwith."
William and Henry8 look at each other, wrinkling their noses and squinting their eyes.
"Ye know I have a dungeon at my Castle, knave?" he gets right up in Hotspur's face.
Hotspur is beginning to sweat now. "I heard as much, sire!" he says meekly.
"Just keep it in mind!!" Henry goes out the back door, slamming it hard.
Bess and Marthy are still laughing uproariously. "Who need television when we have our own comedy routine right here at home?" "Hotshot! Fetch me my slippers!" "Hey, Hotcakes, think you could sell the Taj Mahal?" the taunts go on and on.
William gives them a stern look, then as they continue anyway, he sits down and begins to chuckle as well. He wipes his eyes as tears flow down his face. Hotspur is just standing there looking miserable and humiliated.
William takes pity on him, "OK, Hotspur, come over here and sit down and all is forgiven if it never happens again. It won't, will it?" and he laughs harder.
Hotspur doesn't know what's so funny, but he sits and tires to join in the merriment. Just as he's beginnig to relax, William hauls off and smacks him across the top of the head. "Ohhhhh, I didn't mean to do that, Hotcrossbuns, I just thought you might be in the market for a better HEAD!" and they all laugh afresh except Hotspur who is seeing seveal shades of the rainbow pass before his eyes.
Hmmmmmm, this is a tough century! he concludes.


YARD SALE, YARD SALE!!.......by Terri

Subject: Estate sale
Date: 7/8/03
From: jameson007@aol.com
To: olsen007@aol.com

Thought this would be of interest to a certain party. Appeared in the Chappaqua Times.
ESTATE/YARD SALE

Saturday and Sunday. Tall man's clothes, boots, jeans, saddles, much misc. sport ing goods. Many items too numerous to list. Double B Ranch, rain or shine. 9-3

Looks like the widow is purging the property of all traces of the owner. Please advise ASAP.
Jameson M. Osgood


Subject: Estate/yard sale
Date: 7/9/03 7:00 AM
From: olsen007@aol.com
To: jameson007@aol.com

GET YOUR BUTT DOWN TO THE DOUBLE B RANCH AND BUY UP ALL THAT YOU CAN, SEND ME THE BILL. THIS IS WORSE THAN ANTICIPATED. Mark Olsen


**RING**
"Hello?" Jameson answered in a fuzzy voice.
"Jameson, are you alone?" Billy Bob whispered.
"Yeah...Billy Bob? What the hell time is it....? Six AM? Are you crazy?"
"Are you alone or is Anastacia parked next to you?"
"I'm alone. We had an argument, she went to sleep in the spare room...SIX AM!!"

Billy Bob retorted, "It's noon here. Look, I need you to get over to that yard sale! I can't believe that little bitch is selling my stuff! She sure didn't waste any time! I don't care what it costs, make sure you save my boots! Lord, I paid $600 a pair! I swear, if I could get back, I'd kill her!"
"Well, you can't!"
"Grab my leather jacket, will you? The dark brown bomber jacket? I mean, it's soft and worn in just right. And that fleece-lined suede jacket. The heavy one. She'd better not be putting my fishing stuff on the market. Better find out, too, if she took those guns to a pawn shop or a gun dealer. She knows about that Winchester in the stables, too. That's an antique. Supposed to belong to the guy who shot Wild Bill Hickok. Keep an eye on that ranch, make sure she doesn't move that Gwinnett guy out there. See if somehow you can get Bobby Joe out there to live, maybe run it for me until I can come back. And one more thing....call Mickey Magruder, he's a P.I.
See if you can get him on the case, try to find out who tried to plug me. Tell him there's a bonus in it for him if he can rub them out. Tell him to start with the Parker gang. I'm sure they are the ones."
Jameson yawned. "Is that all? You want the ranch moved a little to the left?"
Billy Bob said, "Call me when you find out what's going on. You have that satellite cellphone. Or take your laptop and IM me. Later!" Click!


HENRY8'S PAYDAY.................by Coralynn

William sees Henry appear at the back door again. Since the back door is closer to the castle, Henry8 always uses it. You see a large bulk through the window of the back door that goes into the kitchen and 9 out of 10 it's Henry.
He opens the door and Henry rushes in excitedly.
"Remember the horse race? Remember how I went two days into the future to find out which horse won? Remember how I told you that horse was 12 to 1?"
"Yes, I do seem to recall," William smiles indulgently.
"I have the winnings here. Now, John only bet five dollars, so here's his sixty. Celeste bet a hundred, so here's her thousand two hundred. Marthy bet fifty dollars, so here's her six hundred. I bet a thousand and have twelve thousand.......here! Let me leave their winnings with you. I'm off to find out who wins the race tomorrow! Ta Ta!" and he goes back out the door.

"Did I hear my name?" Marthy asks William as she comes out of her room.
"Henry just left your winnings from that horse race.......six hundred."
"Oh wow!" Marthy grabs it up, "Now I can go to the Yard Sale out at the ranch. You know, the one Rose is holding? I don't know what there'll be, but if something catches my eye, I can buy it! This is great."
William sighs and sits down. Now, obviously what Henry is doing with the horse races is working, but something about it just doesn't feel right to William.
He hears everyone outside loading into three cars, heading out to Rose's Yard sale.
He looks around for something interesting to do. Hmmmm, not much.
"If ya can't lick 'em, join 'em!" he remarks as he dons his jacket and goes out to his car, "I can go and give Rose some moral support. Yes, that's it. She needs moral support."
Even he has to laugh at this reasoning as he follows the others out to the road and onward toward the Ranch.


LET'S MAKE A DEAL......by Terri

Everyone pulled up at the ranch. Rosamond had racks and racks of Billy Bob's clothes on hangers stretched across on a clothes rack. His boots were neatly lined up on a table. Fishing gear, his fishing and horse magazines, a few of his old saddles, some tools, his prize collection of Playboy magazines. All sort of 'man things.'
People are already lined up and it was only 8:30 AM. Rosamond was very firm about the start time. She would not let the gates open until 9:00.
William had Jack run up and yell, "Hey, Rose! Can we come in?"
Rose was standing there with stickers and a felt tip pen. She smiled. "Jack! Sure--you guys take the service road around the property. Park your cars out by the stables! That way no one will see you come in and pitch a fit!"
All three carloads pulled around. Eleanor and Bethia had loads of things they wanted to sell, too.
John came out of the house. He had come over early to keep Rosamond company and to fend off any dealers that tried to low-ball her.
Jack was holding up some clothes and shaking his head. "Darn! The guy had EXCELLENT taste in clothes. Too bad they are way too big for me!"
Marthy and Bess were going through a stack of Rosamond's clothes. Bess held up a black nightgown. "Oooh, Rose! You were a HOTTIE!"
Rose ran over to her and frantically whispered, "Put that down! John thinks I slept in a flannel nightgown when I was married to you-know-who! I'll let you have it! Just hide it, OK?"
Marthy was going through Rosamond's cosmetics. "Rosamond, why did you have so many unused cosmetics?"
Rose shrugged, "I had to have something to bring home from my shopping trips! Marthy, that pink would look dynamite on you! Go ahead and keep it!"

Nine o'clock came. People made a mad dash. Bringing up the rear was Jameson Osgood, running to keep up, since he got there at 9:10.
"Jameson! How are you?" Rose said.
Jameson was astonished. "You sure didn't waste any time getting rid of his things, Rosamond."
Rose said matter-of-factly, "He's gone, Jameson, and I could use the room. It's not like he is coming back for them."
A skinny guy came up and said, "How much for these boots?"
Rose looked at them. "Hmm, they look pretty new. How about $5.00?"
Jameson almost had a heart attack. "ROSE! Those boots cost $600 new! I was with him when he bought them!"
"OH! I'm sorry--Sir? I'm sorry--those boots are $10.00!"
Jameson followed the guy around. "I'll give you $50.00 for those boots!"
The skinny guy said, "Well, I don't know...."
"One hundred! One hundred dollars for those boots!"
"Well, if you want them that bad..."

A big guy was holding up Billy Bob's jeans. "You sure they are only $2.00 each, ma'am?"
"Yes, they are practically brand new."
Jameson grabbed one leg of the jeans. The big guy said, "Hey, I saw them first!"
Jameson tugged on them. "They won't fit you! You are too fat!"
The guy dropped them. "Who ya calling fat?!"
Jameson snatched them up. "Look at the waist! Size 32--you have to be at least a 40".
Jameson ran over to the fishing eqiupment. He yanked a tackle box out of a guy's hands. "Twenty bucks? Is she NUTS? I'll give you 50.00 for it!" Jameson spent the good part of an hour grabbing and dealing. He frantically looked around for the brown bomber jacket.
"Rose? Where's Billy Bob's leather jacket? The nice soft worn 'Indiana Jones' jacket?"
Rose got embarrassed and said, "Jacket? Oh, you mean THAT jacket! I, uh, gave that away. I mean, it was so WORN! I couldn't have gotten more than a couple bucks for it."

"A couple bucks? A COUPLE BUCKS? That thing is vintage! Billy Bob is gonna kill you! I mean....he'd kill you if he were alive..."
Rose said patiently. "If Billy Bob were alive, now, would I be having this yard sale? No, I don't think so, Jameson....Sir? I'll let you have that entire stack of Outdoor Fisherman for 5.00....or they are .25 apiece!"
Another man came up with Billy Bob's stack of Playboys. "How much for all these? I can't seem to find the September 2002 issue...had that actress--what was her name?----in it."
Rosamond's face coloured. "I, um, don't know what happened to that, sir. Tell you what, .50 an issue, what do you have, 36 there?"
"Thirty-five, remember? Miss September is gone. Damn! That was always my favorite month, too!"
Jameson stood there sweating profusely. "I'll give you 1.00 an issue. Can't beat that! That's double your profit!"
"I don't know..."
"Hell, man, without September that is an incomplete collection!" Jameson said as he took the magazines out of the man's hands.
"Jameson, if you are that interested in Billy Bob's stuff, why didn't you come see me first? I could have cut you a deal."
Jameson snapped, "Well, I would have, if I knew you were going to piecemeal him out at Walmart prices! And his fleece lined jacket! Where's that?"
Rosamond pointed at some guy's retreating back. "There it goes!"
Jameson ran after some big guy and practically ripped it off his back."What did you pay for that, sir?"
"Ten bucks. Hey, let go of me!"
"Twenty..no, thirty! I'll give you thirty for it!"

The entire morning continued like that. Around 11:00 AM, Jameson and Rose and the rest heard sirens. "Damn!" Rose said. "Guess it is now a going-out-of-business sale!"


TRAVIS McGEE, SUPER COP!.............by Coralynn

Inside the Police Car that's producing this wailing sound sits Travis McGee behind the wheel, with Rookie Cop Joe Malone riding shotgun.
"We weren't instructed to come out here, Officer McGee!" he objects but weakly. He doesn't dare make a misstep at this early point in his career, but he knows this is not proper procedure.
McGee snarls at him, "I'm on a murder investigation, Malone! I know what I'm doing!"
"But.......but....." Malone gives up. Since this was McGee's idea, perhaps he himself won't be blamed for it. As they pull up to the ranch where they can see many tables that were once laden with sales items but are now almost bare, they hop out and McGee advances toward Rose, who is just counting out change from her latest transaction.
"Mrs. Montgomery!" Travis says in his gruffest cop voice, "The Police are impounding these items! You didn't even bother to get a permit!"
Rose looks at him with exasperation, "You don't need a "permit" to have a yard sale, Officer!"
"Under these circumstances you do!!" he insists, "This is a murder investigation!"
"Huh?!" she makes a face at him, "That makes no sense. In what way is this yard sale part of a murder investigation?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you," McGee begins gathering up a few odds and ends, "Privileged information. Besides, I'm the cop here!"

McGee notices that Malone is not by his side and looks around for him. Malone has several small items in his hands which he carries up to Rose and begins to peel off dollar bills, handing them to her.
"HEY!" McGee storms, "You can't DO that, Malone! This is a murder investigation. These goods are being impounded!"
Rose completes the sale to Malone and gives McGee a bored look, "You are so out of line, Officer. This gentleman has every right to buy these items."
McGee, of course, knows he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on, but since when did that ever stop him? He tries to grab the items out of Malone's hands, but Malone is a very strong guy and successfully resists.
He tells Malone in a low voice, "We'll just see about this when we get back to the Station! Your career is in peril, Malone!"
It appears that the other man knows McGee wouldn't dare run this scenario past Alan Carson and the other higher-ups back at the Station. He makes a mental note to request no more patrols with this guy. He's nuts!!

Most of the cars of the other customers have left or are in the process of making their way down the long driveway to the highway. William sees the Police cruiser in his rear-view mirror, manages to make a U-ey, and heads back.
Since the other cars from the big house were overcrowded, he has Bess and Marthy in the back seat. They peer out to see why William has turned around and headed back to the yard sale.
"Why are we going back?" Bess asks.
"Something fishy is going on and I think Rose could use our support," William informs her.
Bess and Marthy look at each other with excited expressions. Oh goody, something wild is going to happen!!
As William approaches the scene, with Bess and Marthy behind him about 10 feet, far enough to see what happens, but not close enough to be in any danger, McGee and Malone geer up for the problem the older man is sure to represent.
"What's going on here?" William demands.
"Murder investigation. We cannot divulge." McGee says with mock authority.
Malone simply looks at William and makes the shrugging with his hands out to the side motion.
Rose goes over to William and says in a voice she hopes McGee can't hear, "This renegade cop has decided to impound the rest of the sale goods. He has no reason, no authority as well would be my best guess......"
William whips out his cell phone and calls the central police station. When McGee sees him do that he begins to get nervous. Damn! Why did this trouble maker have to butt in?
They can all hear William's side of the conversation:
"Yes, this is William who lives on Winding Willow. I'm at a yard sale and you have an Officer McGee here stating that he's been authorized to impound the last few items.................ohhhhh........right..........good..........thank you, I'll relay the message."
With that William re-pockets the phone and with a great deal of satisfaction and a smile on his face tells McGee, "You've been told to please call the station forthwith."
"FROM YOUR CAR!" he adds strongly.
McGee is flustered. Busted!! He replaces the 'impounded' goods and slinks back to his patrol car, Malone in his wake, looking at the items he has purchased for almost nothing. As the two men enter the police car, Malone sees William still glaring at them, smiles at him and gives him a thumbs-up.
William and Rose hug and laugh till tears stream down their faces. Marthy and Bess stand there in awe and admiration.


BETHIA: NOMINEE...................by Coralynn

Everyone is gathered in the kitchen drinking iced tea, discussing the cool things they purchased at Rose's yard sale, when William sees the mail carrier approach the house. Leaning out, he takes the mail and brings it inside.
"Mail call!" he says cheerfully, "In fact, Beth, here's one for you. We still get a few things for you because the Post Office doesn't always forward everything they way they should, and hey, you only live across the street and down aways. When you and Rog were on your honeymoon, I ran it over for you."
"I noticed that, William," Beth says as she receives the envelope, "I appreciate it. Now, what could this be? Hmmmmm. I've been nominated for an Academy Award for my fashion designs for the movie "That Woman." I wasn't even aware they'd used my designs! I just sent them in on speculation. Wonder if they ever tried to notify me that they'd chosen my stuff. Well, well, I guess they must have, because here it is: You are officially notified of an Academy Award nomination in the category "costume design" for the movie, "That Woman." We are having the awards the end of July because of scheduling conflicts in March. Please advise of your plans to attend.
"I wondered why they didn't have them in March or April!" Marilyn says, snatching the letter from Bethia. "LOOK! They're giving you four seats in the auditorium, too. Could I go? Please?" Roger looks pensive, "I'd give anything to go with you, Beth, but I have this convention I absolutely have to attend at that date. This is bad timing."
She smiles at him and laughs, "We'll take pictures. Of course with my usual luck, pictures of us will be on the front pages of the morning papers William gets. Just kidding. Marilyn, it looks like you're in luck. We have two more seats to fill, too."
Bess and Marthy are all but jumping out of their skins, wanting to go but not wanting to ask and be turned down. Bethia can see that and grins at them, "OK, Bess and Marthy, it looks like you are going to be at the GALA festivities, the biggest bash this side of the Marde Gras."
Bess and Marthy hug and jump up and down. William shakes his head. They should take a man with them for protection, he thinks. Those four women will be vulnerable without one.
"Don't you think you need a man for protection?" he opens the discussion.
"HA! With Marilyn along, no man needed!" Bethia assures him as Marilyn stands there blowing on her closed fist. He laughs. She has a point.
He still thinks that maybe he should go and take Rafe or Hotspur or Luke with him, or maybe all three. They won't be in the awards auditorium, but they'll at least be in the area if the women get into trouble. Oh how he hopes this time nothing Headline-Worthy happens!!

MEANWHILE.........across town:
Slim and Daniel and Rafe are gathered in Slim's new apartment. It's small, but at least there are places for three people to sit down, which places are now filled with the men on a mission: "Get" WandaSue good.
Slim fills them in on a few things, "First, we can't call her on her cellphone, because she knows I'm the only one with that number."
"She must have a regular phone in her apartment. In fact I saw one when I was there that day and evening......" Rafe begins to reminisce in his mind.
"Get that sappy look off your face and get it on task!" Daniel tells him, "We could get her phone number from Information, that is unless she has it unlisted."
"She has never been that careful!" Slim informs them all, "If she's anything like I know her to be from growing up in the same family with her, she has it listed. Probably in that Susan Hemingway alias, too."
The others think that's good thinking and Daniel dials up Information. Within two minutes he has the number written on an old paper towel Slim had tossed on the coffee table. It rips as Daniel writes, which causes him to look at Slim in disgust.
"Have you no decent notepads around here, Slim?"
"Don't complain! I can read it! Here, hand me the phone......"
"NO! it can't be your voice. Whose voice would she be less apt to recognize?"
"Would she still recognize mine?" Rafe wonders.
"HA! From what you told me, you were mainly moaning and groaning!" Slim laughs at him.
"Let me do it," Daniel takes the phone and, squinting at the barely legible numbers on the scrunched-up paper towel, pushes them in.
After a few seconds he gives the other two men a look of "Voila!" and they crowd around the phone hoping to be able to hear both sides of the conversation, even though Daniel has the receiver pushed up hard against the side of his head.
"Well, hello there, my angel!" he begins, "I thought you'd forgotten me. This is your First True Love!............no, not Sam...........no, not Dave........I was a young, idealistic boy when you lured me into your trap.........no, not Ralph!.........no, not Al!..........you know who I am, you miserable piece of trash! I want my fair share of the money, too.............what money, you ask?...........NO, this is not that poor excuse for a brother, either, so forget that!..............I was lured then left with a lifetime of herpes to have to deal with. Do you know how inconvenient that IS? No, not Tim........no, not Stan.........I have medical bills that just don't quit............hey, I'll be in touch!"
He hangs up.
The other two men laugh and slap their legs.
"That was nothing!" Daniel tells them. "We need to get a couple more guys whose voices she won't recognize to phone her and complain about what diseases she left them with, too! Ya know anyone?"
They all rub their chins. "We'll find someone, even if we have to hire a wino off the streets!"
"And that's not the only way we'll torture her!" Slim decrees, "I just haven't thought up the other ways, but I will, I will!"


NOT THE BOMBER JACKET!!......by Terri

*RING*
"Yeah?"
"Billy Bob, it's me."
"I've been sitting around waiting to for you to call! What the hell was taking you so long?"
"Hey, I'm doing you a favor. Here's the rundown. Your stuff was at bargain basement prices."
"WHAT? @#$^&(* ! I swear, when I come back, I'm gonna kick that little girl's butt from one end of Westchester County to the other!"
Jameson said, "Well, look at it from her viewpoint. She thinks you're dead. Would it have been any easier if she waited a few weeks?"
"DAMN RIGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN! It would have meant she wasn't so quick to get rid of my memory! OK,.what do I have and what DON'T I have?"
Jameson sighed as he pulled out a list. "Let's see, I was able to retrieve the boots. She had them going for 5.00 but then she upped it to 10.00"
"SHE WHAT?"
Jameson cleared his throat. "The tackle stuff I was able to get back but it cost me 50.00, which was a bargain, seeing there were about a thousand dollars worth of tackle in there...."
"How much did she have on THAT?"
"Uh,....twenty bucks."
"WHAT? AM I HEARING RIGHT?"
Jameson said, "Hell, cuz, she's a woman. What does she know about fishing stuff. I couldn't get your poles back, they were already gone."
"The reels too?"
"Yep."
"DAMN HER!"
"I lost out on our Outdoor Sportsman magazines. But I DID save your Playboys. The September issue--can't find it, though."
"It's in my briefcase. I never took it out. It's about all I have of Rosamond. I don't have any pictures with me. Go on."
"Uh, I got some of your jeans back, not all of them. She had 2.00 on them."
"TWO BUCKS? That's ALL? Those are hard to find. Extra long in the legs."
"Yeah, well, some 'industrial building' was trying to buy them. I snatched them right out of his hands."
"Get the fleece-lined jacket?"
Jameson laughed. "I tore it right off the guy's back, had to pay him 200.00 for it."
"AARRGGHH! What about the bomber jacket?"
"What?"
"The bomber jacket. Where is it? That was my favorite jacket."
"Uh...."
"Uh, what?"
"She,uh, gave it away. Got to go, BB, I'll email you later when I find out what is going on." Jameson said in a rush.
"#@^$%^&&&***y%%%$+........"
CLICK!


MARTHY & BESS: SUPER MODELS..............by Coralynn

Bethia has had time to read all the enclosures that came with her Academy Award nomination for best costume design, and sees that when the nominees are shown, a clip from the movie is to be on a large screen behind two models, dressed in the costumes, standing in front of it. She gets excited and yells, "Marthy! Bess!"
The two girls rush out of the room they share and stand expectantly.
"You can both model the outfits! It says here that two live models are to stand on the stage wearing the clothing from the movie while they show a clip of it behind them. Since you're going anyway, you would be perfect!"
Bess grins, "We're already your models, so this IS perfect. Show us!! What are we going to wear?"
"This letter says the scene where the women are ship-wrecked on a tropical island.....oh yeah......those outfits were pretty risque, but if that's what they want......"
"What does risque mean?" Martha asks.
"They don't totally cover you," Bethia tells her, concerned, "I hope that doesn't bother you."
Bess is all eagerness, "Show us what they look like!"
Beth quickly draws what she remembers of the costumes.
Both girls' eyes bug out and they laugh, "Wow! Can you see us wearing those? A serving wench and the landlord's daughter who was basically a serving wench, too?" They laugh, "Two serving wenches on a plate, if you would be so kind, sir!"
Bethia appreciates their humor. "Let me run home and sew these for you. I have the original patterns, too. Be back later, ladies!" she bows in mock homage and they see her to the door.
"Isn't this on TV?" Marthy asks.
"I think so! Isn't everything?" Bess speculates, "Just think of it!! The two down-and-out serving wenches being seen by millions of people sitting in their living rooms!"
Eleanor comes out of her room wearing her new Wonder Woman Sportscaster outfit, and sees the two young women smiling up at her. "Good news, ladies?"
"Oh yes, Eleanor! We get to model Beth's clothes at the Academy Awards!"
"We'll never look as great as you do, though!"
Eleanor pulls them together in a group hug and plants little kisses on their cheeks, "You are the Best of the Bunch, gals, and you are going to knock their socks off. You'll make me look like' Ma Kettle Down on the Farm'."
"Who?!"
Eleanor swats them on their behinds and says kiddingly, "Be off with ya now!"
They run back into their room as Eleanor gets ready to go into Manhattan for her news show. Smiling, she shuts the door behind her and gets in her car.


PLANS AND SCHEMES, HOPES AND DREAMS......by Terrr

Rosamond came in from her yard sale, hot and sweaty. Celeste had the baby in the swing. "Oooh, there's Mama's little precious!" To Celeste she said, "How was she?"
Celeste said, "Just a little fussy. She may be teething."
"I'll run up and take a shower."
Will was sitting at the table. "And how's my little man?"
Will said, "Just fine, Mummy. Look! I can blow bubbles in my chocolate milk with my straw!"
Rose laughed. "OK, sweetheart, help Celeste with your sister, will you?" "Will do, Mum!"

Rosamond took a quick shower and came downstairs. Roger and Bethia were sitting at the kitchen table. She hugged both Roger and Beth. "I am SO sorry I didn't ask you about your honeymoon! How was it? And give me the PG version of it!"
Roger laughed. "It was great! We ended up in the Green Mountains at a little bed and breakfast...."
Rose's eyes lit up and the wheels in her mind started turning.

William beamed at his little family--which was not so little anymore.
Marthy and Bess had become best friends. Jack was busy with his computer classes at the community college. Beth was safely married to the greatest guy in the world.
Eleanor had calmed down now that she had Jerry. Marilyn was always a joy, a real bundle of laughs.
He looked at John and Rose sitting side by side at the table. He sighed. What a tough row to hoe for that relationship! Hotspur sat on the other side of her and kept trying to get her attention. What unfinished business was there? And why did Hotspur come back? I know it was an accident, but still...
"How did they yard sale go, Rosamond?" William asked.
"Quite well. I can't understand it, though. Jameson was buying up everything he could. I didn't know he and Billy Bob were that close. If he wanted something, all he had to do was ask. I would have let him have it."
She turned to John. "After you left, McGee came by and started throwing his weight around. William came to my rescue!"
William blushed. Little Julie started to cry and John jumped up and picked her up, bringing her to the table. Jerry, who was staying for dinner too, said, "I've never seen a prouder papa, John!"
John nuzzled her little baby neck and said, "I missed out on the first three months, I'm just making up for lost time!"
William said, "I guess you all know of Bethia's nomination. I suggest a toast!"
They all raised their glasses and saluted her. Bethia blushed. "I can't believe how my life is turning out! A successful business and a man who adores me!"
William said, "What are your plans for the ranch, Rosamond? Do you and John plan on moving out there?"
John grimaced, "Hell no! Case closed! Not even open for discussion!"
Jerry said, "It's a shame you can't sell it,. Rosamond. It would bring in a pretty penny. In the millions. You would think Montgomery would want it sold and the money invested for Julie's future. Not that the property would go down in value."
Rose said, "I am formulating an idea. There is a beautiful guest house on the estate. I was thinking of getting someone to live there and run the ranch--kind of like a foreman. But here is my REAL plan--and I have Roger and Bethia to thank!"
Everyone was waiting.
"I am planning on turning it into a bed and breakfast. There certainly is enough room. First thing I do is throw out all that leather furniture. Everything is so masculine. I want to totally renovate it. Antiques. Pastels. Lots of blues and whites! And I think Juanita can run it. I still have that gatehouse so I can work out of there."
Hotspur leaned over and put his arm around the back of Rosamond's chair. John flicked it off.
Rose said, "Marty Henshaw called yesterday, wanted to know if I wanted to go back to the soap in a few months. I told him I'd think about it."
John protested, "But honey, what about your job at the gym? I need you there. That class will pack them in! Besodes I want to see you every day! We can work together."
"We'll see, John. William, are you going with the girls? I think you should. Take as many of the guys with you that you can! Make a vacation out of it!"
"Oh, so you and John can play house when I'm away? Watch your step, cookie! McGee will be the new bogey-man!"

After dinner, the girls went into the living room and flipped on the HGTV show to get some renovation ideas for the ranch.
Marilyn said, "Wonder if they will ever find who plugged Montgomery?"
Eleanor said, "They have a long list of suspects, I would think! Maybe it was that McGee, thinking he was removing the 'brother-keeper' so he could have a shot at the wayward sister? That guy is a total loose cannon! Be careful, Rosamond! He looks like an obsessive stalker type!"

John whispered to Jerry, "Can I see you in the den? I'd like to ask you something."
"Sure, John."
John closed the door. "It's no secret about Rosamond and me. Now that she is a widow, I can marry her. However, it came out that Montgomery was a bigamist. So she may need legal counsel. Can I please have Patrick O'Malley's number?"
"Sure--it's a good idea."
"One other thing--I think Rosamond and I need our own place. William is great but he is too...restrictive! Besides, as soon as this is all sorted out, I plan on marrying her. Are there any houses for sale in the neighborhood? Lots of room for kids to play. It's about time that little Will has a normal family life. I want to legally adopt him, too."
Jerry laughed, "I am sure Henry 2 won't have much to say about it! Tell you what, I will keep my eye out for the perfect place for you two. You've been to hell and back, anything will be an improvement!"


CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME......by Terri

The next morning, Rosamond took the baby and little Will out to the ranch to look things over.
Juanita met her at the door. "Miss Rose! I see you really cleared things out of the closets. It seems so strange. Mr. Montgomery was such a dynamic presence and now--*poof*--nothing!"
Rose handed her the baby. Little Will was jumping up and down. "Mummy, can I go see the horses? Mr. Montgomery promised me a horse and he said I could pick out any one I wanted, but not Brutus or Merovin. Can I? Do I still get the horse?"
Rose smiled at his enthusiasm. "Sure, Will. Let me know which one you want. But he has to stay here."
"But Mum..."
"No, Will, we talked about it. You cannot keep him at the big house. Poppy William would have a stroke. But I tell you what...."
Jake came up and licked Will on the face. Will laughed with delight. "We are going to take Jake with us. He can live with us and he can be your dog."
"YAY! Hear that, Jake? You are MINE now!"
To Juanita she said, "The dog needs attention and who better than a little boy! But the main reason I am here is that I have to discuss your employment."
Juanita sighed. "I have already started to pack my things. I can move in with my sister and her husband and their six children. Would you give me a good reference, Miss Rose?"
"Absolutely not!"
Juanita's face registered shock. "But I have been a good nanny...haven't I?"
"No, no, no, Juanita! I won't let you go! I have an idea and I want to run it by you. I plan on hiring a foreman to run this ranch but I want to turn this into a bed and breakfast and I want you to be in charge of it. You are just marvelous when it comes to running this place. I will give you a generous salary and a distribution of the profits."
Juanita's face lit up.

"Just one thing--I want to renovate and I don't want any sighing or handwringing when I start getting rid of stuff. I already called the Salvation Army and they are coming this morning. I can use the tax write-off. In fact, here they are now!"

Two men, a short fat one and a tall skinny one, pulled the truck up. "Hiya, lady! What ya donatin'?"
"Just about everything here. That leather living room set....that huge mahogany dining room set--I always hated it---those deer heads on the wall....that coffee table...those lamps....wait, I'll keep that plaid afghan.....that stuffed marlin over the couch....that hutch....those drapes, I hate those, too.....rip that antler chandelier down, too. Ugh!"
To Juanita she said, "Sometimes I think Billy Bob and I were from two different planets!"
"OK, guys, now upstairs...follow me!" All three of them traipsed upstairs with Juanita trailing close behind.
"That bed there...that dresser...I'll keep that rocking chair for Julie when she gets older...those two night tables...the bedlinen....that rug....the quilt stays...."
They proceeded on to the master bedroom and Rosamond stopped suddenly. She looked at the furniture and the bed and she started to mist up. Just remembering. She took a deep breath.
"All of it...get rid of all of it! Wait a minute!"
She opened the nightstand drawer, took out the Smith and Wesson and emptied the chambers. She put the gun in her waistband.

"OK--let's resume! The dresser....that night stand....that vanity over there.....ooops, almost forgot!" She opened up the vanity drawer and removed her diamond and emerald necklace. "OK, where were we?.....the bedlinens here, too, hate that southwest look, too many browns and blacks...."
She looked at the bed. "Get rid of it." she said softly. "NOW!"

Fat and Skinny made many trips up and down the stairs. Rose looked out the bedroom window and saw a familiar sight. It was Jameson's Cadillac. Uh, oh, trouble! Here we go again.
She went downstairs as Jameson rushed in the door. "What do you think you're DOING!"
She calmly said, "Coffee, Jameson?" She held Julie on her hip.
"Why, yes, that would be...WHAT ARE YOU DOING! That stuff is supposed to stay!"
Rose said, "It was not listed in the assets. Therefore they are not frozen. I am renovating this place. I am opening all the windows and letting LIGHT in this place!
Those drapes were too dark anyway."
"But Rose! That leather furniture came from Spain! It's worth alot!"
Rose raised her eyebrows. "Really? I should get a good deduction then!"
Jameson said, "You ARE planning to live here, aren't you?"
"As a matter of fact, NO! I am thinking of hiring a foreman to run the ranch. As long a it is a frozen asset, it might as well generate some income."
"If you are not going to live here, why are you renovating?"
"I plan to turn this into a bed and breakfast combination dude ranch. I am totally stripping this place. I am seeing a contractor this afternoon. And an interior decorator. I plan on doing this house in country chic with chintz, antiques, blues and whites and pastels and lots of plants."
"Billy Bob will--would--kill you if he knew."
Rose sighed. "Billy Bob is dead, Jameson. You are going to have to accept that. I have."
"Yes, obviously you HAVE!"
"Jameson, I am not going to pretend I had a storybook marriage. You have no idea what your cousin was like to live with. Demanding. Possessive. Domineering."
Jameson walked briskly down the stairs and said over his shoulder, "I would seriously reconsider what you are doing, Rosamond!"
Rose just shook her head and watched Jameson drive off.

Jameson drove around the bend and parked his car in the little copse of trees.

He pulled out his cellphone and frantically punched in numbers. "Hello?"
"Billy Bob, we got a situation here.."
"Find that jacket yet?"
"WILL YOU LISTEN UP? This is serious! Rose isn't planning on living at the ranch."
"She WHAT??!! She's my wife! She HAS to live there!"
"Uh, technically, Billy Bob, she's your widow...Now just shut up and listen! She's taken all your furniture and donated it to the Salvation Army! I am hiding in the woods and watching the house through the binoculars! This isn't good..."
"What did she get rid of?"
"The leather furniture..."
"AARRGGHH!"
"...the antler chandelier....."
"THAT $#%^$#$! BET THERE'S A NICE HOLE IN THE CEILING NOW!"
"...the bedroom furniture...."
"The bedroom furniture? Ours?"
"Looks like it! I see your bed going out the door now!"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, JAMESON! GET THAT FURNITURE BACK! PUT IT IN STORAGE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, JUST GET IT BACK!"
"You owe me BIG-TIME, BB!"
"Oh, and Jameson? FIND THAT JACKET!"
Click!

Jameson waited until the SA truck passed him. He put the car in reverse and followed it down the road. Five miles later, it pulled into the SA lot. Fat and Skinny got out.
Jameson rushed up to them.
"The furniture that you just picked up from the Double B ranch. You have it?"
"Righty-O, sir! Should fetch a pretty penny, too!"
"I need to buy it back!"
"HUH?"
Jameson grabbed Mr. Fat by the lapels and shook him frantically. "I NEED THAT FURNITURE AND I NEED IT NOW!"
Mr. Fat extricated Jameson from his shirt. "Hey, it's now SA property! No can do."
Jameson said, "You don't understand. That was my wife who donated that furniture. She found out about me and another woman and she got really ticked off and threw out all our furniture. Planned on leaving me but we just made up..."
"In the last half hour? Dang, you are good, mister! Next time the missus catches me with Edna at the cash register, would you intervene for me?...."
"Regardless, we want our furniture back! So if you would just open the back of your truck, I will arrange to get it back..."
"No can do, mister! But I'll tell ya what you can do. You can BUY it back!"
Jameson sighed and whipped out his checkbook "OK, how much...?"
Billy Bob, you are going to owe me..and owe me... and owe me..."


FOOLS' NAMES, LIKE FOOLS' FACES..............by Coralynn

WandaSue, aka Susan Hemingway, hears her cellphone ringing.
"What does that fool want now?" she grumbles as she answers it.
"Slim, what do you want?!" she yells into the receiver.
An unfamiliar male voice is heard, "Hey, hey, WandaSue! I hear you're up for almost anything!"
"Who is this?" she demands, "And how did you get my cellphone number?"
The man laughs uproariously, "Hey, babe, it's all over town! So, what'd'ya say to a quick nooner?"
*click* from WandaSue.
Within minutes it rings again. She clicks on and hopes it's Slim, something she certainly never hoped before.
A woman's voice says, "Hi Wanda! Are you open to both genders? I have this Club, it's called......" *click* from WandaSue.
She paces around her luxury apartment. "That Slim is giving out my cellphone number! I'd like to give him a piece of my mind, but I don't have his number. Or do I?"
She rummages around in her folder of important blackmailing information and sees that the scrap of paper upon which Slim's cellphone number was indeed written has been torn, making the last three digits unreadable.
"Well, how hard can it be? I'll just push in these numbers and go through the last three digits systemacially till I hit on the right combination..........oh, who am I kidding? That would never work and I'd spend all day getting the wrong people. Rats!"

She paces again. "Where could that weazel be living? Chappaqua for sure, but where? I saw him at that new fitness center. Do I dare go there again?"
The regular phone rings. Breathing more easily, she picks that one up.
"Hey, you! I saw your phone number in the Men's Restroom at the Wildman's Cafe and I want an appointment. The sign said you only charge......"
She slams the phone down violently.
"Now I have to change my phone number and get a new cellphone," she fumes as she throws the cellphone across the room. It makes a loud cracking noise, but just before it goes into the tech afterlife, it emits one more pitiful ring........
She wants to get back at Slim, or at somebody, anybody. She pushes in the number out at the Ranch, hoping to put the bite on that Rosemond piece of garbage, that snooty rich....
"Country Bed and Breakfast!" a cheerful voice with a slight accent announces into the phone.
WandaSue hangs up.
"Did Rose change her phone number? hmmmm, must have. Wellllll, I'll just have to call up that house on Winding Willow, then. Gotta annoy somebody today after what I've been through!" she pushes in that phone number.
The voice that answers sounds very happy and says, "Bess and Marthy, Models Extraordinarie!"
"Rats! They changed their phone number, too?" WandaSue is now all but frothing at the mouth. She snatches up her purse and goes out to her new car, gets in, and drives out to the Montgomery Ranch. "Maybe I'll put a bomb in their mailbox," she ruminates, laughing.

When she pulls up in front of the long driveway she sees a huge truck leaving.
"Moving, are they?" she follows the truck with her eyes and when it comes out on the highway and turns so that she can see the words on the side panels, she reads, "Salvation Army pickup." She follows it into town to see what the deal is.
The arrive at the Salvation Army place and she stays in her car, but notices the S.A. guys having to deal with .......oh yeah, I remember him: Jameson, Billy Bob's cousin! HUH! Why is he yelling at the men about buying back the.........just a minute........he said furniture? Why would that truck be full of Montgomery furniture? I'm going to wait for Jameson to give up and leave, then I'm coming back tomorrow and buying some of that stuff. Billy Bob was a louse, but he had good taste. Give it up, Jameson!" she yells to the inside of her car, turns around and drives back to Pleasantville.


Half way home she sees an apartment complex that looks decent, though not expensive.
"Hmmm, babydoll, what say we rent an apartment to put our new furniture in? yeah, we can put all that Montgomery stuff in it's own home. God knows I don't have room for it in my new apartment."
She turns off the road into the parking area and is soon standing in the Office of the complex. A Mrs. Haskell looks up and asks, "Are you interested in renting an apartment? We have some 1, 2 and 3 bedroom places that have been recently renovated. New carpeting, new tile, fresh paint on the walls....."
"Big would be good," WandaSue sits down and takes out her checkbook, "How much?"
"The three bedroom apartments run 900 a month. Do you have children?"
"Nope, never could see the sense of it!" WandaSue tells her as she takes out her pen. "So...how much altogether if I want to move in tomorrow?"
Mrs. Haskell totes it all up: First and last months' rent, security deposit, and so forth, "That comes to four thousand, two hundred and 23 dollars."
"Cool!" WandaSue makes the check out for that amount.
"We have several 3-bedroom apartments you may choose from. Would you like to see them first?"
"Nawwww. Got one on the first floor?"
Mrs. Haskell flips through a sheath of papers, "One of them is."
"I'll take it!" WandaSue holds out her hand for the keys.
They are soon dropped into her hand, she tosses them in the air and catches them one-handed, shoves them into her pocket and leaves.

THE MORNING THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY......by Coralynn

WandaSue arrives at the Salvation Army at 11:30.
"We don't open till noon!" the person out front tells her. She hangs her head in mock sorrow, "I've just been burned out of my house and I need furniture badly, so badly. A kind friend hired a U-Haul for me," gesturing toward the enormous U-Haul truck pulling up, "And they get paid by the hour. Please, oh please, can I just see inside?"
"Well, under the circumstances, I don't think it'll hurt," the kindly man tells her, and unlocks the door, yelling to the staff inside, "This lady gets to come in now, guys, it's OK."
It takes no time for WandaSue to spot the Montgomery furniture. Yep, very much in Billy Bob's taste. She can also see that the price tags are new, not all fingered and ratty like many of them.
A sweet little old lady asks if she can assist.
"I need an entire house full of furniture, as my house burned to the ground two days ago," WandaSue says mournfully. The lady looks at her sympathetically.
"I want that, and that, and that," WandaSue goes down the line of furniture, pointing out her choices. "Ohhh babydoll, you are going to love this new furniture!" she says with grim humor, then turns to the nice lady and smiles demurely and adds, "I can't tell you how much this means to me."
The lady pats WandaSue's arm.
Doesn't take more than 15 minutes for WandaSue to spot every single item that came out of the Montgomery ranch. They all receive a "sold" tag and when she asks if her moving men can now carry them out she's met with cooperation and even an assist from some of the S.A. workers.

"Babydoll!" she says rather too loudly, then modulates her voice, "This is sooo wonderful of you folks, now, how much does this add up to?"
"Under normal circumstances these items would cost five thousand dollars," the kindly man tells her, "But, since it's an emergency situation, we'll only charge you three."
WandaSue's eyes widen in delight. She peels off 30 hunderd dollar bills and hands them to the cashier.
"Cash?!" the man says in surprise.
"This babydoll pays in cash!" WandaSue tells him proudly and marches outside.
She hired six very burly men to load the furniture into the U-Haul, and now she's glad she did, as the speed means they can soon leave, hopefully before Jameson arrives.
They almost make it. She sees his car pull up, and, not wanting to be recognized, on the off-chance he may remember her from days gone by, ducks into her car and pulls down the visor, obscruing her face. She sees him get out of his car and look at the U-Haul questioningly.
He is just beginning to see what the truck contains when the workers slam it shut and start up the motor, then pull slowly away.
WandaSue follows in her car.
"STOP!" she can hear him yelling, "THIEF! STOP!"
He runs inside the building, "Who just bought all that furniture?" he asks nervously.
"No name. We aren't allowed to divulge names. But she did call herself "Babydoll" several times. Sorry we can't help you."
He runs out, jumps in his car and sees the top of the large U-Haul signaling a right hand turn. He does the same.
"Gotta find out where Billy Bob's furniture is going," he says as sweat pours down his face, "Gotta get it back! He's gonna kill me!"

The U-Haul takes this odd caravan out of town toward Pleasantville. On one of the roads before that town, the truck turns left into an apartment complex. Jameson does the same. WandaSue notices this, and as she pulls up in front of her new place, jumps out of her car quickly and opens the door, then hides within.

Jameson can do nothing but watch these guys carry all of Billy Bob's furniture into this apartment. There go the black leather couches, there goes his big brown Lazy-Boy, ohhhh no, now they're carrying in his deer with the antlers wall thing. He will KILL me for letting this happen.
As fate would have it, and fate always does, his cell phone rings.
With trepidation he answers it, and hears Billy Bob's frantic voice:

"Ya got my stuff bought back have you, Jameson?"
"No."
"NO!?!"
"Somebody beat me to it."
"How did THAT happen?"
"Some woman got in there before the place was supposed to open, and cleaned it out."
"WHO?"
"They said they didn't have a name, but that she kept referring to herself as 'Babydoll'......why does that sound familiar to me, Billy Bob?"
"That's WANDASUE!!! That was her nick name, remember? Where does she have it?"
"At an apartment complex. I'm in my car outside watching these guys carry all your stuff into it."
"You must get it! There has to be a way! Go offer her double the amount she paid!! Do it!! Do it NOW! I'll wait and call you again in forty-five minutes, now GO!!"

Jameson has nothing left to lose, so he goes to the open apartment door and peers inside, looking for the woman who bought the stuff. BB said it must be WandaSue. Well, where in hell IS she?
"PARDON ME!" he yells into the place, "Lady? Where are you?"
Silence, but he hears a toilet flush.
A woman with black hair stands just out of his easy view and snarls, "WHAT?!"
Is that WandaSue or not? Darned if he can tell!
"I was wondering," he begins nervously, "uhhhhh, if you would like to turn a dandy profit. I can give you twice, no, three times what you paid for that furniture."
"Ferget it, bud!" she kicks the door shut, smacking him in the nose.
He feels his nose. Blood. Oh yeah, blood. Now he has that to add to his list of indignities.
In defeat, he gets back in his car and leaves.

45 MINUTES LATER.......by Terri

Jameson sat in his Cadillac with his head tilted back, trying to stop his bloody nose. Forty-five minutes on the dot Billy Bob called back.
"Hello?" Jameson muffled from a bloody kleenex.
"Well, did you make her an offer she couldn't refuse?"
"I couldn't get that far. She slammed the door in my face!"
"Not good enough, Jameson. You march down there and demand she give it to you."
"EXCUSE ME, COUSIN! I am doing you a favor by even going along with all this stuff. Besides, I think you have a bigger problem than just your furniture."
"WHAT NOW?"
"Your little bride is going to hire a foreman to run the ranch."
"So? Since you are executor for the estate, you can veto it."
"Not really, your will just stipulates that it can't be sold. Doesn't say what she can or can't do to it. Legally she is your widow and she can inherit half of it if she contests the will. Don't think she would sue her own four month old baby though!" Jameson laughed.
Billy Bob didn't. Laugh, that is.
He said, "I think you should suggest that Bobby Joe Austin run the ranch. He has that trailer he's been living in ever since Carolyn took him to the cleaners. He'd welcome it and he knows as much as I do about ranching. I'll call him later."
"Uh, Billy Bob? Another problem."
"What now?"
"She's going to turn it into a bed and breakfast. That is why all your furniture went out."
"WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS SHE OUT OF HER @$$%%(*^ HEAD? THAT'S NUTS! I SWEAR, WHEN I GET HOME I'M GOING TO.."
"She's redecorating. Getting an interior decorator in there, a contractor. I think by the time she gets done, you won't even know that you ever lived there."
"Where's Mom and Dad?"
"Off to Maine for a few weeks. That's why Rosamond is moving so fast. I think they might go back to Texas when they get back."
"I swear, I am going to kill her when I get back! After we celebrate my homecoming."

"What makes you think she wants you back, Billy Bob? Looks to me like she's moved on."
"What does that mean?"
"Heard through the grapevine she is working at that fitness center that the Gwinnett guy bought."
"She WHAT? NO! I FORBID IT!"
Jameson's patience was wearing thin. "Well, how are you going to stop it? Your dead body is cremated and scattered in that meadow and your live body is living as Mark Olsen in Paris. Got any suggestions, because I sure don't!"
Billy Bob laughed cynically. "I got to hand it to Rose, she's resilient. Not prostrate from grief. Guess that's how she lasted with Henry."
"Henry?"
"Never mind. Look, you are going to join the gym. You are going to work out on the days she is there. If she's on the treadmill, you are too. If she is in an aerobics class, you are too."
"Uh, Billy Bob? She teaches it."
"Damn hell you say? Well, I'll be! Watch the two of them. See what time she comes home at night."
"She doesn't."
"Doesn't what?"
"Come home at night. She stays with her friend Eleanor."
Dead silence on the other end. In an eerily calm voice, Billy Bob said, "Right. And John Gwinnett lives in that same house. When I get this whole mess straightened out, I'll straighten the both of them out. Gwinnett will be dead and she will wish she was, too."
Click!


BEAUTY IS A CURSE?................by Coralynn

Bethia has helped Bess and Marthy on with their costumes and is pleased with the result.
"Perfect! Even the fit is just right!"
Marthy is excited, "Let's show Marilyn!!" and she dashes from her room into the kitchen. Marilyn isn't there but Jack is. He sees her and chokes on his coffee.
"Marthy! Wow....I mean.....oh my goodness!......" he is struck almost dumb, and his entire body is going nuts at the sight of her.
She examines his expression (etc) and turns away with tears in her eyes, just in time to see Marilyn come in from the living room.
"That outfit is really great....." Marilyn begins, but Marthy grabs her arm and pulls her into the room she and Bess share. Marthy sits down on the bed and cries.
"Whatever is the problem?" Marilyn asks, putting an arm around her.
"Jack thought I looked, how do you say it, 'hot'?"
"Yes......."
"I really like Jack and it could be a lot more, too, but I don't want him to think that my value is my......my......body!"
"Why do you think that?"
"You should have seen the way he reacted when he saw me in this skimpy outfit! I thought he was going to have his way with me right then and there!"
Marilyn hugs her a little tighter and says, "Men are like that. Try not to take it personally, Marthy. I had that problem in spades back when I was in the movies in the 1950s...."
"You did??"
"Did I ever!! Nobody took me seriously. They thought I was just a sex kitten, only good to be a toy for the lust of men."
"That's terrible!" Marthy is outraged.
"Never mind how smart I really was. Never mind that I read 'War and Peace' and 'Les Miserables' from cover to cover, the latter one in French, too!! No......I was just a dumb blonde to them."
Marthy pulls back and looks at Marilyn with big eyes, "In French??"
Marilyn laughs, "Ahhh Marthy, we must build up your self esteem so that you don't fall apart when Jack looks at you with lust, which, by the way, is normal. But that's not enough for you, is it?"
"NO!"
"Jack must be made aware that you have a mind as well as a body. Do you like to read?"
"I learned to read a little back at the Court of Henry2, but never had much time to get real good at it. I've read more since I came here than I ever did back then. I like to read historical fiction."
"Ahhhh, that's great! Interesting stuff and it teaches you about history. You have about 800 years of it to learn about, too. Have you ever read any of the Sharon Kay Penman books?"
"I've seen them on Eleanor's bookshelves, you know the ones that are always crashing to the floor because she hasn't gotten around to toggle bolting them to the wall."
"I'm sure Eleanor would be happy to lend them to you....."
"YES! I'll read all those books, then I'll start in on......what was that one you read in French? Would it be cheating if I read it in English?"
Marilyn laughs, "Not at all! Come on now! Let's go raid her books!"
Marthy jumps up, smiling, and follows Marilyn upstairs to Eleanor's room. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Jack, turns, smiles, and rushes up the staircase.


AN OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE......by Terri

Subj: Business proposition
Date: 7/9/03
From: olsen007@aol.com
To: austintatious@aol.com

Imperative that you contact me immediately regarding business proposition. Contact my cousin for number. Urgent reply. This is not a money scam from Nigeria.
Tequila Sunrise is becoming Tequila Sundown, i.e. another in her future., sun is setting on her conubial bliss.
Mark Olsen


"Billy Bob?" Bobby Joe whispered.
"Who the hell did you think it would be?"
"Well, you haven't exactly been communicato. How are you?"
"Not too bad for a dead guy. Any progress on the case?"
"No, McGee is an eager beaver, he has been questioning your relationship. He is trying to pin it on Tequila Sunrise and the guy. Turns out Carson is a friend of John Gwinnett's, seems to be protecting him and giving him the benefit of the doubt."
Billy Bob retorted, "I wish it WAS him who plugged me. Or thought he plugged me. Him I can handle. Heard I am now resting in Pike's Meadow. Scattered me under that big oak by the pond."

"Your mama's idea. J.R. wanted to take the ashes to Texas but she said 'Why bother? We both know it's not really my William.' Ths whole thing is creeping me out. I had to tell Verla, she was weeping and wailing all over the place and I hated to see her put through it. She's trustworthy."
"Well, yeah, she always was my favorite cousin. Reason for the phone call. Turns out my little wife has decided to do a number on the ranch. She dumped all my furniture at the SA and now Wanda Sue beat Jameson to buying it back. I want you and Jameson to get it back. Break in if you have to. Kidnap her and dump her somewhere until you can get it. Put it in storage and swallow the key."
"What has Tequila Sunrise done to your crib?"
"She's turning it into a 'bed and brothel' if you can believe it!"
"Brothel?"
"Just a lame joke. She's going to get someone in at the ranch to run it. A foreman. I want you to be that foreman. I trust you. Her I don't. She'd end up getting a stranger in there and next thing I know she' d offer him half the profits from the horse breeding. And give him a house. Since Carolyn took you for everything, I figure you'd rather live in that guest house than in that trailer of yours."
"Got THAT right!"
"Have you seen my wife?"
"No, we had a bash after your memorial and I asked her if she was coming. She said no, that was a closed chapter in her life. I felt bad, I kind of miss seeing her. She was fun! I heard she is staying with friends. Verla called her the other day."
"Yeah, she's staying with friends alright. And she got a job at that new fitness center."
"Really? I heard it's a really nice gym, latest equipment. Steam rooms and saunas."
"Another thing I want you to do. I want you and Jameson to join the gym, kind of size things up. Oh, and I want you to get a P.I. on her. I want to know what she is up to, so when I kill John Gwinnett, it will be justifiable homicide."
"That's a pretty tall order, Billy Bob!"
"One other thing..."
"What?"
"Seen my leather jacket around?"
"No!"
"Well, keep an eye out for it!"
Click!


HOME ALONE (woof! woof!)......by Coralynn

WandaSue, aka Susan Hemingway, hears the alarm beeping on her monitor.
"Aaahhhhh," she says to her apartment walls, "I think we've caught some fish in our little snooping devices."
She goes over and sits by the screen that shows everything that happens inside or outside her apartment full of Montgomery furniture.
She has an extensive remote control panel, which she begins to use.
"OK, camera #1, outside the door: a-ha! Just as I suspected: there's Jameson and Bobby Joe trying to get in. Let's give them a blast of this!" She pulls a lever that releases the sound of vicious dogs scabbling and growling, the sound beginning in what anyone outside would think the kitchen, then getting louder as it sounds like the dogs are approaching the door. The sound of dog toenails scratching on the inside of the door then blasts forth.
Jameson and BJ recoil and jump back from their position at the door.
"GOD almighty!" she hears BJ yell, "The place must be full of Rotweilers and Pit Bulls!"
"Now what do we do?" she hears Jameson ask with desperation in his tone.
She smiles and puts her feet up on a chair and waits and watches.
"Is she in there?" BJ wants to know.
"Damned if I know! But we have to get that furniture! Billy Bob will kill us if we don't!"
WandaSue's feet slide off the chair and she sits up in surprise. Billy Bob will kill them? What's going on here? BB faked his murder? What?!
She then hears Jameson say, "I'm not going in there with those vicious dogs. When Billy Bob phones later today I'll tell him that my loyalty to him only goes so far and does not include getting attacked by dogs! This situation is getting downright dangerous!"
"So what do we do with the Ryder Truck we parked over there?"
"Pay the guy and tell him we changed our minds," Jameson tells BJ.
Bobby Joe does so, while Jameson continues to stand outside the door thinking.
"You can think till you're blue in your rednecked face," WandaSue yells at the monitor, "You ain't gettin' that furniture and now I know something you'll regret!!"
She pours a second cup of coffee and high-fives herself.

On the monitor screen she can see the Ryder Truck and what she supposes is Jameson's car leave. She uses the zoom lens to take a picture of his car from the back which shows his license plate number.
"Never know when that'll come in handy!" she says smugly.
She paces around her apartment, thinking, thinking.
"OK, babydoll, here's what we do! We get that fool's cellphone number. First step: see if his home phone is listed......" she flips through the phone book for Long Island. Sure enough.....there it is! Bingo! She copies it down, then dials it up. It rings over and over and over, but she doesn't hang up, waiting for the answering machine to click on. It finally does and she hears:
This is the Jameson Osgood residence. If you need to speak to me right away, or if it's an emergency, dial my cellphone at 555-5522. Have a nice day!"
"That was easy!" she laughs, "The idiot just gave me my entre into another pile of money! This is going to be such pleasure...." she dials the cellphone number.

She hears a weary voice answer, "Billy Bob, I tried! But the place is crawling with vicious dogs!"
WandaSue affects a foreign accent, just which one it is she has no idea but it sounds foreign to her.
"Thees ees Betsy.....Betsey Warner....and I know your seeeecret!"
"Who is this?"
"I jooooost told you," she says, switching accents.
"Who IS this?"
"Soooo, Montgomeeeeeery is aliiiiiive. If yooo doooon't want tooooo beeeee turned eeeen fooohr fraaaauuuud, put aeeee hooondred thooou in my accccccount at Bunk of Ameeeerica. Doooo it nouuuuu or I taaaak!"
Jameson looks at Bobby Joe with another of his "oh shit what now" expressions. Bobby Joe just sighs and waits for Jameson to get off his phone.
They pull up in front of a diner to talk.
"This is getting messier and messier, Bobby Joe! That was a woman calling herself Betsey Warner. She says if I don't want to be turned in for fraud, to put a hundred thou in her account at B of A. DAMN! Who is she and how did she find out Billy Bob is still alive, because she told me she knew. But how?"
Bobby Joe hangs his head and groans, "What do you plan to do?"
"What can I do? If she knows, she could also spill the beans to Rose, and God knows who else. Can you think of anything else to do other than put the lousy money in her account?"
"Not at the moment!! But how did she find OUT? Could it be WandaSue??"
"This woman had a foreign accent, which she changed every couple sentences, so it's obvious she was trying to diguise her voice. Doesn't change anything, though, we're still up to our necks in trouble. If this woman is WandaSue we're up to our necks in a pile of manure. That woman is pure trash through and through. DAMN!"
"Let's go inside and grab some food and maybe we can think of a way around this...." Bobby Joe suggests.
Jameson shoves the cellphone into his pocket as they go toward the diner, glaring at it, daring it to ring again.

Soon as they're seated and their order taken, the cellphone rings. Jameson clicks on and awaits the new piece of bad news.
"JAMESON! Did you get the furniture?"
"Couldn't, BB. She has the place full of vicious dogs. Now, I'm your cousin and I want to do everything I can to help you, but that doesn't include being attacked by wild dogs. So we left."
"Bobby Joe with you?"
"Yep! But listen, Billy Bob, a new problem has just come up."
"You don't manage things well, do you?"
"Hey, if you start in on me like that, you'll have nobody to see to your interests here, so cool it!"
"Ok, Ok, what's the new problem?"
"A woman who calls herself Betsy Warner demands a hundred thou or she tells everyone that you're still alive."
"WHAT?!"
"A woman who calls hersel...."
"NO! Don't repeat it, I heard it the first time! Think it's WandaSue?"
"Yep."
"HOW did she find out? HOW?!"
"How do I know?"
"But you're there!"
"Yes, and I wish I weren't. I should leave the country too....."
"Oh no you don't. I need you to keep an eye on...."
"Never mind Rose. She's the least of your problems. At least at the moment. I'm going to have to pay off that Betsey Warner person. And you are going to pick up the tab for it, cousin! I'm not going down the tubes financially for you. Sorry!"
"OK, OK, then....."
Silence.
"Uhhhhh, Jameson?"
"What?"
"Anything on the jacket yet?"
"Please! I said I'd tell you when I found out!"
Silence.
"Uhhhhh, Jameson?"
"What?"
"I owe ya!"
"You can say that again!" *click*


_______________.....by Terri

Rosamond and John came down to breakfast together. John grabbed a cup of coffee and Rosamond put a cup of water in the microwave for tea. Celeste had already fixed Will his breakfast. Julie was still sleeping upstairs.
William looked up suspiciously. "You two coming downstairs together? What's going on?"
Rose said, "Nothing. We met in the hallway." Her eyes met John's over Wiliam's head and she smiled.
John smirked behind William's back. "Get over it, Big Guy. I mean, we have a baby! Nothing new under the sun!"
William scowled and went back to reading his newspaper, muttering, "Younger generation! BAH!"
Rosamond looked at her watch. "OH! I have to meet that contractor at 9:00! I'd better get moving!"
She leaned over and kissed little Will. "Oooh! Watch that chocolate milk, young man! Try drinking white milk for a change!"
She picked up her hot water, put a teabag in and picked up her purse. She bent down and kissed John on the cheek. "Have a good day at the gym, darling! See you when I get home!" She breezed out the door.
John grabbed his things. Celeste said, "What's this?"
John said, "OH! Rose gave that to me a few days ago. Great, huh? Expensive, too. I just have to wait for cooler weather to wear it!"

Rosamond pulled in just as the contractor did.
Rose extended her hand. "Mr. Murphy? Rosamond Montgomery. Pleased to meet you."
Murphy took her hand. "How do you do? I'm very sorry to hear about your husband, Mrs. Montgomery."
Rosamond said, "Please, call me Rose. Let's go inside, shall we?"
Murphy and Rose walked in. Murphy said, "Great house. What do you want to do?"
"I want to totally renovate. I want to turn this into a bed and breakfast. I want the old carpet rolled up and the hardwood floors refurbished. A sky light installed in the den.. these kitchen cabinets need to go, I know there is nothing wrong with them, I just want lighter and brighter...."
Murphy bent down to the door. "What happened here?" He pointed to a dent in the door.
"That? Oh, I dropped an iron frying pan."
"At how many miles per hour?" Murphy grinned.
"I want that wall torn out and that one moved over there....I want a skylight here too...and out here I want a second story balcony for each of the rooms..."

After an hour and a half, Rose was finishing up with the contractor. A Corvette pulled into the driveway. "John! I thought you would be at the gym!"
"I came by to see if you needed help but it looks like you're finished."
Murphy got in his truck. "I'll get the permits started, little lady. Be here tomorrow to get measurements!" and he backed out of the drive.
Rose looked after him. "Little lady! Can you believe it?" She shook her head. "And I just gave him a check for 10,000 dollars!"
John leaned down and petted the dog. "And who might this be?"
Rose laughed. "This might be Jake. Jake, dog extaordinaire, meet John--your new master!"
Jake tentatively licked John's hand.
Rose asked, "When does that cast come off, darling?"
"In about three more weeks. They check it every week."
John put his arms around Rosamond and drew her close to him. He kissed her with passion and she returned it.
"Rosamond?"
She never heard Bobby Joe Austin come inside.

"DANIEL?" Bobby Joe said.
Rose and John hastily drew apart. "Bobby Joe! How wonderful to see you!" She struggled to maintain her composure. "I, uh, this isn't Daniel. It is his twin brother. An old friend of mine who came by to help me with the contractor."
Bobby Joe looked around. "Sure is bare in here. You'd never even know that Billy Bob lived here. How long has it been, Tequila Sunrise? A week?"
Rose smiled sweetly. "John? Would you do me a favor? Would you grab the leash and take Jake down to the mailbox and pick up the mail?"
John, seeing the glare in Bobby Joe's expression, said, "Sure! Come on, boy! Let's go for a walk!" and he snapped the leash on him.
Rose said, "OK, Bobby Joe, what's up?"
Bobby Joe said, "I was talking to Jameson and he said you were looking for a foreman to run the ranch."
"That's right. He left it to Julie. I may as well have it turn a profit instead of sitting idle. Coffee?"
Bobby Joe sat down. "Yes, please. I'd like to apply for the job."
"YOU? Do you know anything about ranching?"
Bobby Joe smiled slightly. "I grew up in Texas, remember? And I learned from the best. Billy Bob Montgomery is..was...my best friend. As a favor to him...his memory....I would like to run it for you....and his daughter. It's no secret I am tired of living in that rinkydink trailer. Carolyn took me to the cleaners two years ago. I am just now starting to recover...financially AND emotionally. I understand from Jameson that you would let the foreman live in that guesthouse. I would do my best to make it work for you, Tequila."
Rosamond raised her hand. "Please don't call me that. That girl doesn't exist anymore. It's just Rosamond, OK?" she smiled to soften her admonition.
"OK, Tequi....Rose. That sounds so strange! I would work hard and let's say at the end of three months if you are not happy with me, I'll move on. Deal?"
"Deal!"

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