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The insemination didn't take the first or the second time, but the third time the doctor called with pleasant results.
"You're pregnant, Rose."
"Oh, that's great. I'll have to tell Pete and Charlotte."
"And Brian."
"Yes, and Brian." Rose sighed. "Thank you, doctor."
"Anytime."
Rose hung the phone up and walked up the stairs and to Brian's office. She knocked softly.
"Come in."
Rose opened the door and stepped into the room. Brian looked up at her.
"What's up?"
"Well, I just wanted to tell you... the tests came back positive."
"You'r pregnant?"
Rose nodded.
"I see."
Rose walked around the desk and kneeled down beside Brian.
"Honey, I had a talk with the doctor and he and I think you need counseling. Just about this, help you understand it better."
"I don't need counseling."
"Brian, please-"
"Rose. I don't need counseling. Look, I've been thinking a lot lately. And I've decided that even though I still don't agree with it, I love you too much to let you go through it alone. So I'm going to support you. No more negative comments, no more 'what ifs'."
"Thank you. That means a lot to me."
"I know it does." Brian smiled.
"So, what're you doing?"
"Summarizing."
"For my father?"
Brian nodded.
"So close to Christmas and he's still working you hard?"
"The law never sleeps."
"Take a break. Come down, eat dinner, relax a bit. You can't even read your handwriting anymore."
Brian looked down and laughed. "I guess it is time for a break."
He stood up and followed Rose from the room. As they approached the livingroom, Rose pointed out the dining room window.
"Look at it snow!"
"It's really coming down. Guess it's time for our first big snow."
"Turn the weather channel on."
"What, worried about the house getting buried?"
"Don't make fun."
"Or maybe the power'll go out." Brian smiled amourously and pulled Rose closer to him. She smiled slightly and playfully pushed him away.
"Turn the weather channel on."
"Fine. Spoil the fun."
"I just wanna see what they say. The power may still go out."
"Alright."
They sat down on the couch and Brian reached for the remote.
Soon a weatherman came on in one of those impeccable suits, and told them what they expected to hear. Brian switched the TV off and Rose stood up.
"Hey! Where're you going?"
"To make dinner." Rose started into the kitchen and Brian followed her.
"What're you going to fix?"
"I was thinking spaghetti."
"Sounds good."
"Glad you approve."
Brian watched her as she leaned over into the freezer. He didn't know why, but he wanted her bad right now.
She placed the hamburger in the microwave to defrost and set a big pot of water to boil.
Rose stared into the water, suddenly lost in her own thoughts. She closed her eyes and her mind suddenly flashed back...
She was fourteen again. In the kitchen of her first house. Fixing dinner, spaghetti. Someone in the house. The friend... the baby-sitter... the family friend. In the kitchen, arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides. Wooden spoon clattering to the floor... a whisper.
"Whaddya say you and I slip away..."
"No!" Rose cried, fighting to break the hold on her. The pot of burning water...
"No, not again!"
"Rose!" A familiar voice, so far away...
"Rose!" The voice again. "Snap out of it!"
A firm shake and Rose's eyes snapped open. Brian stared into her face, his blue eyes concerned.
"Rose? Are you alright?"
"Oh, God, Brian," she murmured, putting her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, lightly rubbing her back.
"Why am I all wet?" Rose asked quietly.
"You knocked over the pot of water. Lucky for you it hadn't had time to heat up. What happened?"
"The water... I remembered... I was fourteen, cooking spaghetti... and he came in..."
"He? You mean the man who raped you?"
Rose nodded, tears filling her eyes.
"Oh, baby, please don't cry. It's alright, you're sake now. He can't hurt you again. You know that." Brian hugged her tightly again.
"I'm sorry," Rose whispered.
"Don't be sorry, nothing is your fault, you didn't do anything wrong, then or now."
"Did you come up behind me..."
"Yeah, I'm sorry-"
"Did you say anything?"
"Yeah."
"That's what he said. Those exact words..."
"Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have..."
"You didn't know, it's alright."
Brian's blue eyes scanned Rose's face and then he stood up.
"C'mon, you need to change. You're soaked."
He pulled her to her feet and steadied her before letting her go to change.
He stayed in the kitchen and cleaned up the water and put the pot in the sink. He also threw the hamburger away, knowing they would never use it and it would spoil.
Rose came back down a few minutes later, dressed now in jeans and an oversized sweater.
She sat down on the couch and hugged herself tightly.
Still feeling bad, Brian sat down beside her.
"Do you want anything?" he asked gently.
She shook her head and looked over at him.
"Could you just hold me?" she asked quietly, almost timidly. Brian nodded.
"Of course."
He sat back, almost laying down, and held his arms open. She curled up between the curves of his body and the back of the couch and rested her head on his chest. He lightly kissed the top of her head and held her close, staring out at the thickly falling snow.

The next morning, in Victor's office, Brian stared across the great mahogany desk at the older man.
"Whatever happened to the man that raped Rose?"
"I put the bastard in jail." Victor frowned slightly. "Why do you ask?"
"Last night, Rose had an... episode, I guess you'd call it."
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"Well, she was just starting dinner, and we were just talking in the kitchen. She had put a big pot of water on the stove and was just standing there. I thought she was just adjusting the flame or something, and I went up behind her and put my arms around her. And suddenly her breathing got real heavy, and started... whimpering. Then she practically screamed no. I back off, of course, and she said it again, she said, 'no, not again' and whirled around, knocking over the pot of water and dropping to the floor in front of the oven."
"Is she hurt?" Victor asked, concerned.
"No, the water wasn't even lukewarm. But now I'm worried about her. What made her go off like that?"
"What was she cooking?"
"Spaghetti."
Victor nodded. "That's what she was making that night... you should know, Brian, that now is around the time when it happened. It affects her every year."
"It didn't last year."
"Maybe not on such an extreme level. Did she seem really withdrawn, depressed, for a few days last December?"
Brian thought a moment, then nodded.
"Yeah... don't worry too much, Brian. In a few days, it'll pass. Just show her lots of love for the next few days."
"Alright."
"And just so you know, your vacation starts Friday. There are only two weeks until Christmas, after all. And remember, after the holidays, you're back at school."
Brian nodded.
"Alright, let's get to work."

Later in the day, Rose was over at Charlotte and Pete's house, as planned a week before. Rose was already becoming fond of Charlotte and was already considering the other woman a close friend. Pete, on the other hand, was a different story. Rose wasn't sure why, but for whatever reason, she always felt slightly uneasy whenever he was around her. But she did her best not to show this, and lunch went off without a hitch.
But on the way home, Rose's mind flashed back to that night. The scalding water... the hands... that voice, telling her to be quiet, it won't hurt.
The loud, rude sound of a car horn was what brought Rose back. She was suddenly feeling very claustrophobic and very paranoid. Heart pounding, the breath coming from her in gasps, she made her way to the side of the road and turned the car off. She climbed across the seat and got out on the passenger side, then leaned against the car and forced herself to calm down.
"Ma'am?"
Startled, Rose looked up into the concerned face of a state trooper.
"I'm fine."
"Do you need medical attention?"
"No, everything's fine. Just a little carsick. I'll be okay, just needed some fresh air."
"Are you sure? Do you need me to stay with you?"
Rose swiped her hair from her forehead, deliberately flashing her wedding ring.
"I'm sure. Eeverything's fine."
"Alright," the trooper said, backing off. "Be a little more careful in the future, though."
"I will. Thanks."
As the trooper walked back to his car, Rose inhaled a deep breath of cold, winter air, and exhaled through her nose. The cloud billowed in front of her and slowly dissipated.
When she realized the trooper was waiting for her to get back in her car, she waved at him and slid across to the driver's seat. She started the car back up, looked behind her, and carefully eased back into the traffic. No traces of the claustrophobia or paranoia remained, and Rose couldn't help but wonder why what just happened happened.

Brian didn't get home until nearly seven that night.
"I'm sorry I'm late, sweetie," he said apologetically as he entered Rose's studio and rushed over to kiss her cheek.
"That's alright," Rose replied, smiling up at him and setting down her brush and palette. She brushed a few random strands of hair from her face and left a smudge of paint on her cheek.
"What were you two doing?"
"Working. Victor's really drilling this stuff into me. Now, instead of sending me home with stuff for the case, he's giving me homework. I've got a paper due to him Friday."
"Friday? Is that enough time?"
"Oh, yeah, it's just an overview of everything I've learned. He's giving me office time to work on it."
"Well, that's good."
"So, how are you?"
"I'm fine."
"No more episodes?"
"Nope," Rose lied. She didn't want to worry him.
"That's good. What're you painting?"
"Oh, mom and dad's fortieth wedding anniversary's coming up in January, and I thought I'd give them this." She pointed to the portrait of her parents, then held up the picture she was using. Brian took it and looked at it.
"Gosh, you look just like your mother." Brian glanced up at Rose, then back at the picture. "It's creepy."
"Creepy?" Rose smirked and Brian looked up at her.
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah." Rose leaned down and kissed his lips.
"If you're hungry, you'll have to find something yourself. When you didn't come home at your usual time, I didn't fix dinner."
"Alright. You want me to fix you anything?"
"No. I'm fine. Thanks though."
Brian smiled and nodded as he left the room.

************

Brian cinched the waistband of his sweatpants tight and reached for his t-shirt.
Rose didn't tell him about her misgivings about Pete until much later in the pregnancy. Pete, Pete, Pete...
Brian sighed shakily and pulled his sweatshirt over his head, over the t-shirt, and went to his dresser for socks.

Chapter 4
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