Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
The Golden Compass The Subtle Knife The Amber Spyglass

Navigation
His Dark Materials
· The Golden Compass
· The Subtle Knife
· The Amber Spyglass
· The Book of Dust
· Movie
· Encyclopaedia
· Cover Art Gallery
· Pronunciations
· Photograms
· Science Behind the Books
· Commentaries
Philip Pullman
· Author's Bio
· Interviews
· Other Books
· Letter to Pullman
· Contact Pullman
Fanstuff
· Message Board
· Chat Room
· Polls
· E-mail Group
· HDM RPG
· Other Books
· Dark Materials E-mail
· FAQ
· Fanfic/Fanart
· Wallpapers
Site Info
· Home
· Site Map
· About BTTA
· Banners
· Links
· Guestbook



powered by FreeFind

Fanfic - Second Chance
by Trish

Lyra glanced at Will, his eyes practically glowing red. He was glaring at Mrs. Coulter. Pantalaimon and Kirjava were standing beside each other, both the same as the other. Wildcats, with their fur on end, backs arched, teeth bared, tail’s erect. The golden monkey pounced on Kirjava as Mrs. Coulter grabbed Will's arm. Lyra screamed with rage at her mother and lowered her head to ram into her stomach, but someone had grabbed her and was holding her back. While she kicked and screamed and bit, Pan was changing from cat to bird to wolf to bear and back again, trying in vain to free Lyra. Kirjava was fighting the monkey, changing so fast you could hardly tell what animal it was. Will had gotten away from Mrs. Coulter and called to Kirjava, she changed to a butterfly and flew to Will, changed back into a wildcat and they started beating on the guard holding Lyra. Two guards took hold of Will, and though he tried to get away, they held fast. Lyra watched painfully through her tears as they dragged Will to a cage filled with most of the people she loved. Lee Scoresby, Iorek Byrnison, Roger, Serafina Pekkalla, Fardar Coram, and now Will. He was still putting up a fight as the guards stuffed him in, passionatly screaming Lyra's name all the while Lyra was calling back at Will as Pantalaimon and Kirjava reached out for each other without success. Lyra cried out one last time as the guards slammed the cage door shut.

“Dear child!” Lyra heard a voice exclaim, “Whatever is the matter? You sound as if your dæmon there was bein’ wrenched from you.” Lyra opened her eyes in fright, breathing hard. Where was she now? Where was Will? Was he ok? These questions flew around her head and she sat bolt upright. Pan pushed against her chest and she held him there, feeling the comforting rhythmic beating of his heart against hers. She blindly narrowed her tear-stained blue eyes at the person sitting on her bed. “Lyra,” the woman said as she rested her hand on Lyra’s shoulder, “It’s only me, Ma Costa. You know I en’t never gonna hurt you child. It’s just uncommon for a 16-year-old girl to wake up screamin’ and wakin’ everyone else.” That brought Lyra back. She was with Billy, Ma Costa, and the rest of the family. Will was in his world, she didn’t know anything else about him, only that she hated him as much as she loved him.

Lyra’s breathing slowed and she wiped the sweat from her face as she noticed Billy Costa standing at her feet. “I didn’t mean to scream and wake everyone. It en’t my fault I had a nightmare, I don’t get to choose my dreams…” she then realized how stupid she sounded, “Sorry, I’ll try to stop dreaming of…” she stopped herself just in time. She had promised herself she wouldn’t say his name again. Ma Costa showed a small smile and patted Lyra’s arm, then she stood, looked at Billy and left the room. Lyra still clutched Pantalaimon, who had stayed a Pine Marten forever, and loosened him a bit. Billy’s seagull dæmon flew from her perch on his shoulder, to beside Lyra’s leg, as Billy sat where Ma Costa was sitting before. Lyra looked up at Billy into his chocolate brown eyes and noticed a trace of sadness hidden among his comforting gaze. She noticed that every time she had dreamed of Will. Billy raised his hand and pushed Lyra’s hair out of her face.

“You alright?” He questioned, his voice full of concern, “do you want anything? Water? We’ll fetch that for you if that’s what you…” Lyra stopped him and shook her head. She felt torn when he acted like this. She knew Billy had become quite fond of her and his feelings kept growing. That wasn’t a problem until the day it dawned on her that she liked him back. She hated herself for that, yet she hated Will even more for not letting her like someone without feeling incredibly guilty. Though, she did know that she’d never like anyone, even Billy, as much as she had Will. Pan had comforted her at the right times and yelled at her at the right times. He always knew what she needed. Of course, they were part of each other.

“No, I don’t want anything,” Lyra quietly answered Billy, “We’re all right, we en’t lying. You go to your bunk, it’s midsummer’s day tomorrow and that whole load has to get to Oxford, and we’ve got to visit Jordan College, and…” Billy nodded and Lyra stopped talking, midsummer’s day, tomorrow. She had almost forgotten. Her heart was soothed and re-broken again every midsummer’s day, despite how she encouraged herself throughout every year of how much she hated Will, she still had hope every midsummer’s day. Billy stood and turned towards the door, then he turned back.

“Lyra, we’re in the room next,” he stated to her firmly, “anything you want, juss come and kick me or something and we’ll get it.” Lyra nodded and watched Pan curl up beside her pillow. She was thinking of that midsummer’s day five years ago and bit her lip in frustration. She hated Will and would never forgive him, yet she could hardly keep form crying every time she thought about it. She hardly noticed Pan creep back into her arms. Billy turned and was walking out when his dæmon pulled the other way, Billy gasped and turned back, he saw Lyra’s face. He was by her in four steps. He sat back down and put his arms around her. As much as Lyra hated being seen crying, she burst into heavy sobs, leaning her forehead on Billy’s shoulder. Trisandra, Billy’s dæmon, was comforting Pan. Lyra finally gave in and clutched Billy as he rocked her back and forth, whispering soft words to her to sooth her. That’s the last thing she remembered that night, she fell asleep five minutes later.

* * * * * * * * * *

Will woke up, grabbed the arm shaking him, and twisted it. “God Will!” DR. Mary Malone cried out, “It’s just me!” Will realized who it was and mumbled sorry as he let go. He petted Kirjava as he thought of the dream. “Dream of Lyra again?” Mary asked softly. Will nodded. For some reason, he dreamt of her more and more often, and each time was more awful. Will had been trying to stay awake because he didn’t want to see his beloved Lyra violently pulled away from him yet again.

“It was horrible, yet it seemed so real,” he thought aloud, then he sat up, “what time is it?” he realized then that his blurry vision was due to tears. Quickly he wiped them away, and tried to slow his breathing as sweat dripped off his nose, he used his sheet to wipe that off.

“Why, it’s only 3:45 in the mornin’” Mary answered, looking at the clock, “you wait a sec, and I’ll go grab a bit of water for you. Then you’ll sleep for a few more hours.” She smiled comfortingly and squeezed Will’s hand in a motherly way before she left the room for the water, leaving Will and Kirjava alone.

“Will,” Kirjava started, barely audible, “it’s midsummer’s day tomorrow…” she broke off and Will blinked, thinking for a minute. It is midsummer’s day tomorrow, he thought, and I told Claire I’d go to her house. Kirjava nudged Will’s hand to get him to pet her as she went on whispering, “You’ll have to explain to her, that you can’t go…not the truth obviously…”

“I’m not going to lie to Claire,” Will interrupted, as he looked at the dæmon, he thought about it for a second, torn by the decision he wanted to make, he forced himself to go on, “Java, I know I oughtn’t, but I think…I think I’ll bring Claire…”

“Will!” Java scolded, as she checked the door, “then you’ll have to explain everything to her and she’ll think you’re crazy. How do you think Lyra…” Then Mary came back with the water. She handed it to Will, and he drank greedily.

“Well, get some sleep,” Mary said as she took the cup from his hand, “You’re going to be busy tomorrow.” She smiled at him reassuringly one last time and left the room, her dæmon flying after her. Will lied back down and gazed at his ceiling, though not really seeing it. He wondered why his mother hadn’t come to see what was wrong. He had wanted to live with his mother, yet he needed to be near someone who understood. So him and his mother moved into Mary’s flat. His mother was in the room next to him and didn’t come to see what was wrong, but Mary’s room was down the hall, and she had heard his cry. He thought about that, and his father, and his adventures with Lyra. Lyra. His wandering mind stopped on Lyra, and he remembered every detail of every time they were together. He wished they were together now, he wished with all his heart that something would happen tomorrow, something so that he could see Lyra. His Lyra. He wondered if she’d forgotten him, his heart practically twisted to a stop just at the thought of that. Then he remembered the last look he had seen in Lyra’s eyes. That look was the one thing that kept him going. The look told him she would never forget him, ever, and that she would always have hope that one day they would see each other again. He would have given up by now if not for that look. He suddenly thought of Claire, his next-door-neighbour, his best friend at the moment, and of what he said earlier. He felt horribly guilty, he started to breath heavy and tried to choke back his tears. He silently begged Lyra to forgive him for starting to like Claire, and for almost sharing with her the dearest most meaningful day, the day they were closest together yet worlds apart. He clutched Kirjava to his heart, for it was beating so wildly and painfully that he needed a living heartbeat next to it, to try and calm it down. His breathing slowed and he closed his eyes. He fell asleep in a couple of minutes, into a fitful, yet dreamless state.

* * * * * * * * * *

It was the next morning now, around 12:00, and Lyra and Pan were on their way to the Botanic Garden, she held him in her arms.

“Pan,” Lyra started as she walked, “It is his fault we’ll never see them again, I know it! Why haven’t you realised that it’s because of him?” They both knew ‘him’ was Will, “He closed the last window, he could’ve left one open, he didn’t have to break the knife.” She rose her voice more and more as she said this and Pan shushed her. Lyra took a deep breath and continued, her voice low again. “I’m just saying that if they loved us so much, they could’ve done something so we could see each other, or at least talk to each other.” They were almost at the garden, and Lyra all of a sudden felt as if there was someone who was following her. She looked behind her and saw no one she knew and no one peculiar. She then placed her attention on what Pan was saying.

“Lyra, they would have, “ Pan argued, not at all on her side, “but some one would have found the window and then it would have started all over again. He had to close all of them, and break the knife! You know that! If he didn’t do it then the worlds would…” Lyra didn’t give him time to finish.

“I don’t care what the worlds would do,” Lyra declared, “our feelings for each other en’t between me n’ Will n’ the worlds. It’s only between me n’ Will! Pan I loved Will, and that love en’t never gonna stop. He obviously didn’t feel the same!” she finished in a huff as they entered the garden. She stopped as soon as she saw the bench and listened to Pan.

“Lyra, did you forget, or are you just being thick-headed?” Pan demanded as he jumped out of Lyra’s arms, “I’m a part of you! And I loved them just as much as you did, and they loved us more then life itself. I know they’ll always feel that way, but you don’t? Did you even see the last look he gave you? That look said that his heart was being wrenched from his chest by doing what he had to, and you don’t think he loved you? I’m starting to think you never really loved him!!!” Pan ended loudly. He bounded over to the bench as Lyra stood in shock. She narrowed her eyes and her cheeks flamed into a bright red.

“How could you say that?” Lyra asked as she literally trembled in fury, “Did you even hear yourself? I was…Pan?” She asked, confused as she jogged over to the bench, looking for her dæmon. He had jumped onto the bench and had vanished. Lyra reached the bench, her anger being replaced by worry. Gingerly, she touched the seat and the next thing she knew she was shielding her eyes. A blinding white light had consumed her surroundings, and Lyra felt as if she were flying, but only for a couple seconds. She hit the ground on her back, hearing Pan’s voice while she moaned in pain. She slowly opened her eyes, glanced at Pan and looked at the body next to her. She gasped.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Alright then Will, “Claire told Will the next morning, “but come over when you’re back from your grandmother’s. I hope she feels better soon!” Will nodded and said bye to Claire. He waved and stumbled down the stairs as Claire smiled and shut the door. Kirjava was waiting in front of the bushes lining the sidewalk and followed Will as he passed.

“Going to visit your sick Grandma?” Java chided teasingly, “Out of all the lies I’ve heard you say, I think that’s the worst yet.”

“Oh be quiet Java,” Will mumbled miserably, “I can never think straight on midsummer’s day.” He looked back at Claire’s house, hoping that he would catch her face in a window. Kirjava hissed and pushed against his legs, “Alright already, I’m going…Java, why do I like Claire?” He asked the question without thinking.

Kirjava chuckled, “You’d better be careful Will, you’re starting to sound pathetic,” Will groaned and squeezed his eyes shut for a second. Picturing Lyra’s face as it was the last time he looked at her. So perfect, so…angelic. That’s what Lyra had become to Will now. She was his angel. He knew he’d never see her again, but it always felt like she was there. He knew he had to get on with his life, but he felt like she wouldn’t let him. Like she would never let him forget, not that he ever would forget.

They walked the rest of the way to the garden quietly thinking. Will’s face wearing an expression that practically tore people’s hearts when he walked by. Java bounded ahead of Will and waited in front of the bench as he gazed around the garden. Will looked at the bench again and saw that Kirjava wasn’t anywhere in sight. Will surveyed the area as he sat down on the bench. “Java?’ he asked the garden, then suddenly, “WHOA!” He blinked his eyes as, it seemed, bolts of lightning flashed all around him. He was jerked from his seat on the bench and fell for a couple seconds until he hit the ground, flat on his face. “Owwww,” Will moaned as he tried to roll over. He felt Kirjava’s comforting presence as she licked his face. He heard a gasp and slowly opened his eyes, ha saw Kirjava and smiled. Then his eyes fodused on who made the gasp. His heart almost stopped. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, ‘I must be dreaming’, he thought.

Return Home

Fanfic Home