Scene III - Not Quite Judgment Day
4: Hmm... I’ve already read all of these magazines.
5: So have I. So, how’d you die?
4: I forgot to pay the mob back.
5: You forgot?
4: Well, I had the money, I just didn’t think of it.
5: That strikes me as unbelievably stupid.
4: Yeah, and it wasn’t the first time either. They already broke all of my
fingers, put a horse head in my bed and tried to blow up my car, but I still
kept forgetting. I suppose I’m one of those people who just never learns.
5: I’ll say.
4: So, how’d you die?
5: Well, I’d been out drinking and our designated driver ended up ditching
us for somebody named Mindy...
4: Women can make a man forget. Like paying the mob back.
5: I never said it was a woman. Anyway, I was pretty loaded, but I decided
to drive home nonetheless. I figured, hey, what’s the worst thing that could
happen?
4: I don’t know.
5: Anyhow, I ended up running over some sap and then in my haste to get away
driving off of a bridge and perishing in a massive explosion.
4: Rough.
5: Yeah.
1: Actually I do mind a little wait, and... where am I?
4: Purgatory.
1: It looks like a dentist’s office waiting room.
5: And this surprises you?
1: Actually, not particularly.
4: So, how’d you die, mister?
1: Oh, some loser ran over me with his car. How’d you guys sign out?
4: Forgot to pay the mob back.
1: Forgot?
4: For the seventh time this year. I guess I’m one of those people who never
learns.
1: I’ll say. How about you.
5: Me? How’d I die?
1: Yeah.
5: Um... heart attack.
4: But I thought you said...
5: Utup-shay.
4: What?
5: Utup-shay.
4: Is that Latin?
5: Kind of. Don’t worry about it.
1: So how long do we have to wait?
5: I don’t know. Until the day the seas boil with blood or something, I
suppose.
1: Oh my.
4: Or longer.
1: Did you fellows take a number?
5: Yup. I got 2,596.
4: 948,234,107
1: How far have they gotten?
5: They’re still calling for number twelve.
1: These numbers are all in random order!
4: True.
1: And here’s number twelve right here.
5: Really? Could you grab us numbers thirteen and fourteen?
4: Number thirteen?!
1: Here it is!
4: But I can’t take number thirteen! It’s unlucky!
5: Well, then, I’ll take thirteen and you can have fourteen.
4: But then I’ll have to go last. I don’t see why I should have to go last!
1: Oh, wait, that was thirty-one I found.
5: Well, you can have thirteen if you want.
4: I certainly don’t!
1: There doesn’t appear to be a thirteen at all.
5: Then you shall have to take fourteen!
4: Who says you get to go first?
5: You. Besides, you weren’t complaining when you were going last before.
1: I suppose it must be like the floors on an elevator. Most dreadfully
silly if you ask me.
4: Well, before it was going to be forever before I got in anyway!
1: Uh, here, guys. I couldn’t find thirteen, but here’s fourteen and
fifteen.
4: No thirteen?
5: I’ll take fourteen.
1: Okey dokey. And here you go.
4: Fifteen?! I don’t want to go last!
5: Somebody has to go last.
4: Well, I don’t see why it has to be me!
5: I do. It’s because I have the ticket.
