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Tori's Ramblings

Tori amos has been one of the greatest influences in my life. I used to think that I was alone in my way of thinking, but then I found Tori, and hundreds of others who'd found her too. . .

If you are unfamiliar with tori's work, she plays the piano . . .and sings, and is one of the most incredible people on the earth. . . I suggest you check it out:

I think that people who can't believe in faeries aren't worth knowing. I just think alternate realities make you a good writer. If your work is anymore than one dimension, you believe in faeries.
- Tori Amos
(see The Dimension)

I think thereís so much emphasis on pushing things away, instead of pulling them out of the closet. A lot of times I just notice that people try to hide their dirt for as long as possible. Monsters, dirt, whatever you want to call it, the stuff that you censor and that you donít really want to share with people. I think you can only do that for so long before you start losing your mind. Iím finding a lot of freedom right now in just looking at things that I really feel. Weíre not encouraged to do that, and I think that thatís what makes people sick inside of themselves. You kind of want everybody else to think that youíre okay. Well, youíre okay if you have monsters! Thatís what people donít understandóeverybody has many many voices going on inside of themselves. Now there is one voice, though, that is more of the ringleader, more of the innermost voice that isnít trying to beat you up, or trying to make you feel like you can go slaughter 67 people and itís okay. You know, the voice in there that goes, ďhang on a minute, Tori, weíre really feeling lonely right now.Ē That inner inner voice is, to me, the most important because it can start being a bridge between all these other voices in your head. Everybody has them.
--Tori Amos

ďThereís the inner world which is a reflection of the outer world, and when you think of all the billions of worlds that are going on out there - we are connected with that, weíre not encouraged to think of our connection as why we are on this planet. Is our life just functional; is that all that is? Getting up, going to work, having kids, to just populate the planet? I mean there have to be reasons we do things...Ē [In Conversation - interview cd, 1992]

"With Poppa, there was Spirit in all things. You have a relationship with the spirit world or you have nothing. People try and make other people feel bad about getting in touch with their souls and their spirit. You get it a lot, especially in the cynical media. When people cut themselves off from everything except what they can touch, they are cancerous. The sad thing is, thatís really evilÖ evil to yourself. You become the fascist." [Details - August 1998]
". . . tell me where the pretty girls are Those demigods With their NINE-INCH nails and little fascist panties tucked inside the heart of every nice girl . . ."
--Precious Things

"After the shows, everybody talks to me about how theyíre pulled in different directions. A lot of times there doesnít have to be conflict, itís just weíre not giving attention to different sides of ourselves. You see, youíve got a masochist side that has to be met in some way. You need to look at why you need to be hurt, and why you get some kind of pleasure out of it. Then you need to go and give equal time to the part of you thatís a sea captain, you see what I mean? The one that sails the ship, and can bring it home, and isnít needy. We have all these different sides, and they just go out of balance! Thatís what I meant by that." [Michael Pearce interview - 1994]

There is room for everybody on the planet to be creative and conscious if you are your own person. If youíre trying to be like somebody else, then there isnít. [Q (UK) - May 1994]
"You don't need my voice girl you have your own. but it never was enough of . . ."
--Bells for Her

Iím not afraid of grief. You might cry, you might even cry so much that there are no more tears left inside of you that you feel youíve become dry, but still your grief lets you make decisions and lets you grow as a person. Everything depends upon how you handle it, if you accept your grief, your loss and your mourning or if you try to push it away. I think you have to live through it, thatís my personal belief, because it has consequences. [The Inside Connection - June 1998]

"My scream got lost in a paper cup You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone I got 25 bucks and a cracker do you think it's enough To get us there But what if I'm a mermaid In these jeans of his with her name still on it Hey but I don't care Cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice and it's been HERE silent all these "
--Silent All these Years

". . . I run off where the DRIFTS GET DEEPER Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown I hear a voice "You must learn to stand up for yourself Cause I can't alyways be around" He says when you gonna make up your mind When you gonna love you as much as I do When you gonna make up your mind Cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast . . . Hair is grey and the fires are burning So many dreams on the shelf You say I wanted you to be PROUD of me I always wanted that myself . . ."
(This song touches closer to home than anyonecould ever know. Every nuance, every stitch that went into this song bleeds my story. . .)
China all the way to New York I can feel the distance getting close You're right next to me But I need an airplane I can feel the DISTANCE as you breathe Sometimes I think you want me to touch you How can I when you build a great WALL around you In your eyes I saw a future together You just look away in the distance China decorates our table Funny how the CRACKS don't seem to show Pour the wine dear You say we'll take a holiday But we never can agree on where to go Sometimes I think you want me to touch you How can I when you build a great WALL around you In your eyes I saw a future together You just look away in the distance China all the way to New York Maybe you got lost in MEXICO You're right next to me I think that you can hear me Funny how the distance learns to grow Sometimes I think you want me to touch you How can I when you build a great WALL around you I can feel the distance getting close