Apostasy

It’s been a long night—
Too long.
Happiness in hibernation,
Depression settles in
Kicking off his shoes,
Searching the cupboards of my soul
For something to eat.
Nothing’s there.
It’s all been ransacked before
Years ago.  I tried to find some light
To see, but darkness
Had overstayed his welcome.
Like a blind man I crawl,
Groping for the wall
A support, some guidance,
Something to lean upon;
But every time I stand
And reach out
Black gravity pulls me down again
Face flat against the cold floor.
Where is the sun?
Does he exist anymore?
I’m looking for the east
To see him rise,
But I must still be facing west—
Sun gone down,
Endless night.