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Good Advice
Bitter sweet the conversation
But whole heartedly against all my common sence,
I beg and plead with my self
Run, run far far the other way
Not still inlove, but love and jealousy still in existance
Pulling me and my emotions inhalf creating a monumental divide of my self
Both parts have a compelling and substantual arugment, to which i pay great heed
To stay and talk, to feel happiness, to confide in my friend of all friends who i once had such a passion for
To run, long and hard in the other direction to save my self pain which i may already be begining to feel
Live, love, learn, feel a lifetime of certain regret, yet feel no regret at all
Truely a love and a lesson well learned and well needed
But still to feel tiny twinges of pain is confusing, i want not of this and it hurts
But how irronically i miss your adoring friendship, mentorism, and easy conversation
What shall i do, life, so short in the length, would it be worth the elation of your company
To unshield everything i worked so hard to mend,
But your friendship is dearly missed,
Something if your willing, i will honorably consider
Maybe i should take my own good advice
And i am sure i would, if i knew what it was
I suppose I am a hard person to love
My temper at times can be harsh and brash
I hold some grudges as easily as I let others go
I drink from the orange juice carton, and leave my socks in all rooms of the house
I have a list of quailities that seem unreasonable, and unable to be filled by any man
Sometimes I am untrusting, but life makes us all that way aventually right?
Yet, i'd make you dinner every night after you came home
And be overly content to sit between your legs on the couch and rub your feet after a hard day
Although expecting to be paid back in some way, kisses, affection, simple thanks
I used to give my self as freely as a stream glide through the river bed
But lately my affections and emotions seem to be as it were, a dam
Longing, weeping, writhing to be set free to flush out upon you, or any other man
So very very untrusting these days
My love can be as sweet as the wrath I can bare is bitter and hellish
So easily and readily do I fit into your arms, smiling at you,
Secretly wondering if everything you tell me is true
I love you, but I dont love you
Part of me wants to throw my self at you because I need you
A need that is insatable, yet I can not
Maybe the fact that I dont know what you are doing with me is holding me back
Do you adore me as I was once adored before?
Do you love me? Do you think about me during the day when I am there?
Why is it so hard for me to find good pure love?
Bleed, let it out,
Cry and be free
Jump and you'll soar for a while
Inhale, hold it in
A new lie to begin
No one ever knew your secret
You were quiet
Always sittin' in the corners
Divided, couldnt be like us
You denyed it
When we saw your cuts
Try to hide it
To you its a must
What were you doing with those sharp sharp blades
Wearing long shirts on a hot summers day
Cant spend your whole life chasing butter knifes
Sara wont you come out and play?
You went deep
No more being safe
In search of
Solitairy peace
Its so sad,.....
You found your desire
Now you cant hide it
Come out of the fire
What were you doing with those sharp sharp blades
Wearing long shirts on a hot summers day
Cant spend your whole life chasing butter knifes
Sara wont you come out and play?
View My Guestbook
Sign My Guestbook
I feel like i want to go home
But i'm already there so what does that say
I wan to go out side and sit in the rain
Just to let it wash me and my sins away
To just go to sleep so i wont feel
Rlease the tears, when i should be all cried out
I'm not....
I feel empty, and you tried to feel me up
I'm sure i'm not a posser, living in this world
It just feels like there is nothing left
And i'm just getting closer, to falling of the lofty ledge
I try spinning to get dizzy and the feeling doesnt come
Shallow? But the puddle is full!
And the skin makes me crawl, what am i becoming
I dont belong here and i am going to fall
Down
Down
Down
Into dark wet cracks in the floor
I feel like your special, but i'm not like you
You put my hand into the fire, to see if it would burn
And then we all had a laugh when my acid tears burned in my eyes and at my cheeks
But honestly, how do you turn away?
close your eyes
drift away
leave for a while
your awful day
take some pills
hold on tight
cover up
wait out the night
press a flower
shut it up tight
remember it always
though out of sight
let it dry
then it will die
keep it tight
always out of sight
close your eyes
drift away
leave for a while
your awful day
take some pills
wait out the night
keep it shut up
its all in your head
wake up in the morning
...the flower is dead
I really hate how you lie
how you tell me what i want to hear
and how you enjoy getting into my pants
because i believed what you said
you said you were giving me the moon shine
and the sand from the beach
you promised to live with me in the sky
you swore i would fall asleep in your arms
inside the gentle beams from the stars last light
you were the knight, who was to champion my heart,
but never once did you ride in
you always walked the path in worn boots
where oh sir is your white horse?
where is the sparkle in your eye
and the shine in your steel
why did you promise me the moon
when you only possessed a brown thatch hut
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I needed it, like the sun needs the flower
To feel the pain of open flesh
To watch it seeping out my arms and my thighs
I bare the scar, at the time it comforted me
Always humming, While washing the blade
Dont you think, comfort comes from a kitchen knife
Cant you feel, the sun light come from the liquid red
The welts raise up like a pheonix,
Little wet spots on the bed room sheets.........
Cant,...You...Tell...That...Its.....Okay.... Run...and Hide...From...The...Light...Of....Day! ! ! !
Cause it dont hurt quite so much, when the blood raises, no it dont
ITS OKAY! WHEN THE BLOOD SEEPS TO THE TOP...THE TOP TOP TOP....
Comfort comes from kitchen knifes.
Ok just to clear somet stuff up, I am not really all that into BDSM anymore, although I am a pretty submissive person, the thought of someone having complete control over me, I just cant handle, i'm pretty firery and hard headed sometimes, I just think the life style is interesting and thought some other people might enjoy learning about something new and untraditional, so I have some web sites on it linked below...k? Are we clear now?
shout out to my friends
