Ive decided it was a good thing my other page went away,
All that stuff on there was the old me
I guess part of me is still there
But i am so ready to welcome the new nicole
A smarter better nicole i hope
Anyhow, if you noticed the pages are completely diffrent
You'll never see me living in the past again
Because its ok, i can breath again
God i missed the fresh air
I guess this would be my venting letter to my self
I erased the old one
So i didnt have to see how pityful i was becoming
Who really holds onto their past when the know its a dead end road
Its not like i'd be coming to a fork
Right???
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What do you do when you fall inlove with someone, but they dont love you
what do you do when all you want to do is say i love you, and you know they will never say it back
How can it hurt so much, yet feel so wonderful when they hold you, and you fall asleep with your head on their chest
You want them to love you as much as you love them
They just want to play and be happy, nothing serious,
just fun
I want them to love me, i want them to kiss me, and when they have sex with me i want them to make love to me,
i want to hear those words
I hate being alone,
I hate needing so much attention
And I hate needing another person to make my life feel whole
I hate living in this house
I hate how the light shines down on me
And I hate, how every word out of my mouth is a game........
Why.....oh why..... is my life, flying this way
Who knows, who can say, say bye bye, I wont live to see another day
I hate how you make me feel,
So small, this cant be real
The only game I ever played with you,
Was pretending not to love you
I cant love you i'll scare you away
I wont see you after the light breaks from day
I love you with all my heart and soul
But I have to pretend, keep it under control.
Please dont leave me,..... Say you need me
Come back tomorrow when the night breaks to day
Love is an over powering feeling
It fills your heart until you feel you'll burst
It brings tears to your eyes from sheer happyness
The image of the one i love is eternally burned into my mind
The sole image of them walking towards me, smiling
Love is a passion, which burns bright for a while
And sometimes, the passion dies, and the love wilts
But true honest love, doesnt fade after the madness dies
It brings you all the secrets of the world, it still brings tears to your eyes
Love is the eternal image of you walking towards me with a smile.
Love that is so overpowering, so stitched inside me
That i know my life will be nothing but a shadow if you should leave
Fun Sex
I love it when you tickle me,
When you pull my hair
I love it when you roll me around on the bed sheets
I love it when your there
When you kiss me
When we smile
When you hold me
What we share
I love the little giggles
The playful kind
The kind of sex that isn't serious
Sometimes you get frustrated when I keep laughing
But admit it your laughing too
We laugh about the squishyness
And when the bed keeps creaking
We laugh when the handcuffs break
Fun sex, sometimes the best kind of love making
All love making is good with you
But the best part of all, is when its all over
And the bond feels stronger
You put your arms around me and hold me,
I feel your breath on my neck
And your comfortable enough to walk naked to the shower
I love that about you, and I love the fun sex
Laughing.....
Tickling...........
You............................
I could try and find the logic in my self
Spend a day figuring out how I feel inside
I could put my feelings in a ball and take it apart piece by piece,
Conclude the obvious,
When I'm sad or feeling down
I long to see your face, and feel your arms around me
I dream of what it feels like when you touch your lips to my forhead
And kiss it gently, the warmth takes me in, and washes all the sadness away
When i'm happy I want you to be there,
I want to see you smile at me, how I smile at you,
I like it how you tell me everything is ok, and you hold me
I hate it how you cant be here every hour of the day
I'd rather stay in with you, then go out,
There we can just be alone, and lay in bed, put in a movie, and you hold me
I like it when we're out, and your hand finds mine
I like it how sex doesnt seem like just sex anymore,
Maybe I read way to much into things, but it doesnt feel like sex
I feels like your touching my soul, and giving me just as much as I give you
It's like your loving me,
Piecing it together, one step at a time, going over every thought in my head
I want to be loved, I want to hear that I am every day,
I hate being so co-dependent, and just needing love
Picking thoughts out of my head, trying to figure it all out
I just dont know
But it feels like i'm flying one minute, and falling the next when your gone
Piece by Piece, i need to think again........
Goals
