Mood:  don't ask

*Ando sits on his bed, frowning*

Ando:
Kat's getting married, again. *Sighs* Yep. Latest man? Mori Alfie.

*Leans back on his pillow*

Ando:
Though, this won't be so bad potentially. He has been good to her.

*Leans into the camera*

Ando:
The story goes down like this. They went out to a movie. Some romantic film that I'm familiar with. It's strange because she doesn't like those type of movies. Kat's more of a slapstick comedy girl. I think he's working on her well.

*Pause*

Ando:
Afterwards, they came outside. Alfie turned to her and asked her to marry him. She said no at first. But, he wouldn't give up easily.

*Shifts a bit on his bed*

Ando:
Two more times. Two more times. One more at the coffee shop and one more outside of the house. She said no at the coffee shop. With the third time being a charm, Alfie porposed to Kat once more just outside of the house. She finally broke down and said "yes."

*Pause*

Ando:
It's not her that I'm worried about. I am worried for him. Kat is... well... Kat. She can't really commit to anyone without drama or crap. I wonder if they will even last together.

*Frowns and shakes his head*

*Lowers his head and says a quick prayer*

*He lifts his head*

Ando:
Alfie, good luck there, buddy. That's all I'm going to say.

*Reaches forward and turns off the camera*

WRAP 

Mood:  irritated

*Ando sits on his bed with puffed up cheeks*

Ando:
She's at it again. Kat's picked up another shithead boyfriend. This time his name is Blake. He's an American. I did some digging on his background.

*Pulls out some papers he had just printed out. Puts on some fake glasses*

Ando:
The guy is an ex-marine. Dishonorably discharged. Multiple arrests for drunk and disorderly conduct, DWIs, possession of illegal drugs, possession with intent to sell, assult, assult and battery, assult with a deadly weapon, criminal mischief, theft, agravited assult, and assulting an officer.

*Slams down the papers and takes off the glasses*

Ando:
Nice one, honey!

*Applause*

Ando:
I'm not the only one that sees this is a bad idea. Grandma, grandpa, and my uncles are trying to break them up. But will Kat listen? No!

*Flops back onto his bed*

Ando:
She doesn't care as long as the sex is so good. Slut!

*Sighs aloud*

WRAP

Mood:  chillin'

*Ando sighs in heavy frustation*

Ando:
No way I'm here!

*Pause*

Ando:
There was Akiko. There was Sakura. And now, there's Ghost. *Shrug* And now, there's Ghost. Wow. You call algerbra or something. But damn, you should have seen me when this girl got freaky. *Sigh* Especially when she...

*Breathe and giggles*

Ando:
Especially when she licked my macadiminas. But, but she was totally nuts! She was using me to get to Shuichi! What the fuck?!? Number one: He's... he's homosexual and number two: He's with Yuki!

*Slaps his knee and sighs*

Ando:
And the true of the matter is, that... that life is no porno and... and a girl should not come between two close friends. I stop myself thinking of girls 24/7 and know practicing the act of tai-kon-do.

*Practices some moves while shouting. Falls off the bed*

*Jumps rope while playing music*

Ando:
*Pant* Girls are bad! Girls are bad!

*Pants*

Ando:
Girls are bad! *Cries* BAD!

*Quits and pants. Takes off headphones and walks over to the camera*

Ando:
Thing is though, it doesn't work. *Pants* Still got a hard on.

*Walks away*

WRAP

Mood:  caffeinated

Ando:
I am your father! *Dath Varder breath* It is six a.m. I am awake and hard as my enterance exams reason reason being... Mimiko! *Dath Varder breath*

*Turns to his Dath Varder glove and pretends to talk into it*

Ando:
Data bring up the fine speimen file, Mimoko! File code, 38-29-35! *Hands mimic along with the numbers*

*Grins, but turns serious*

Ando:
Stat one: Height, response: Just right! Stat two: Age, *Pause* It's legal! Stat three: Body, an arm, a leg, and two holes! Stat five: The kiss, a racking up my bucket! Stat six: Sexiness, I felt hotter than my mother's curry on the Death Star! *Trembles and breathes happiness* It was an amomly. It was an... an... an.. am... mom... mom...ly. *Breathes* It was different! Darth approach with caution. But my radar sensed no different, so I disengaged my fazers as we began to talk about things in general.

*Pants like crazy*

Ando:
I was getting hard quicker than a voyager on warp speed five. *Pants* It was annisiated with a kiss! *Pause* Then clothes were taken off. It was inevitable that I was going to reach the final front terrior. *Pants harder* But as I prepared my battle cruisers, my thrusters blew out. *Looking crushed* The docking process was a failure, there was a man down, and not even the whole Death Star could save me.

*Really hurt and shakes his head*

Ando:
And... And honestly, she... she took me by surprise. See... she made my heart beat in a way I never knew.

*Pause and reflects for a moment. Then returns to earth*

Ando:
Love... a difficult kind of concept! Han Solo was the first, now Luke, but I vow to explore strange horny worlds! To seek out new girls hot and minging! And boldly go where no team has gone before!

*Raises arm in the arm for emphasis*

*Nods and makes the Star Terk sign*

WRAP

Mood:  amorous

*Ando adjusts the camera some*

*Ando steps back and does some push-ups on the floor*

Ando:
98, 99, 100!

*Ando gets off of the ground and sits on his bed*

Ando:
Hello ladies! As you can see... *Pulls back his shirt* I love to take care of my body. Not only do I have bid piles of money, I love poetry. I'm just a lonely simple boy with good looks, great personality, and great clothes. My name Inoue Ando and I'm single.

*Cell phone rings*

Ando:
Excuse me.

*Pulls out his phone and answers it*

Ando:
Hello? Oh, Michiko! You've got to stop calling me like this, you're married now. Aw, don't cry. I still love you, but you have to move on, okay? Goodbye.

*Ando hangs up*

Ando:
Sorry about that, some find it hard to let go. Anyway, I live in Tokyo. And if you have big boo- I mean brains, we can have deep conversations. Deep conversations.

*Cell phone rings again*

Ando:
Excuse me.

*Pulls out his phone and answers it again*

Ando:
Hello? Shuichi! We already did the Michiko thing! You don't call back again!

*Ando panics and moves the camera away*

WRAP