Momma Dearest

    This latest adventure started with a phone call. Artemis sat in his office when the phone rang. He picked out as he woke up from a peaceful dream. The pig held the receiver to his ear.

    "What is it?" he mumbled over the phone. The voice on the other line woke up right away. Artemis sat up right away. His face went pale as a sheet. "Yes?" he asked in high-pitched yelp. "When?" His eyes grew big in freight. "Yes," he replied. "Yes, bye." He hung up right away. Oh dear god! The one thing he feared was coming once again. For years, Artemis tried to escape. Just when he thought that did, it had decided to start itself all over again. Plus, Noiz would have a field day with this. No! He couldn't let her trample all over him again. No, the pig had to get this over as soon and as quick as possible! When that, the phone rang again. The pig sat up startled right away. He reluctantly answered the phone.

    "Hello?" Artemis asked nervously. The voice on the other line made him relax. "Hi there, baby!" he called out loud. "What's up?" Suddenly, the day became even better.

    Lunch time turned things around for the pig however. All of the animals sat eating lunch in the cafeteria. Noiz and Rob sat near the window like usual. Artemis slid open the door and walked inside. Everyone looked up right away. The pig stepped inside with an older woman. She looked about fifty or sixty. Her short wavy pepper-colored hair came down to her shoulders. Her skin looked hard and leathery. Age spots darkened her complexion. Wrinkles invaded her face as well. The woman looked nicely dressed in a yellow sundress and a big flowery straw hat. Artemis looked around nervously. Noiz looked at the woman with narrowed eyes. She tapped Rob on the shoulder. The mouse looked up right away. Noiz leaned in close to him.

    "Who's the old broad?" she whispered to him. The mouse shrugged at her.

    "We'll see in a minute," he replied. Artemis stepped forward.

    "Everyone!" he announced out loud. "This is Henderson-san. She is only staying with us for a few days. No need to try and get to know here! Enjoy your lunch!" The pig bowed and hurried away. That really stuck Noiz's curiosity. Rob's too as well. The pair turned to each other grinning. Clearly, Artemis was hiding something about this woman. Only way to find out... Noiz looked over at her little pet.

    "Go befriend Henderson-san," she said to him boldly. Rob grinned at her boldly.

    "I'm on it!" he said out loud. The mouse got up from his chair and walked over to the woman. But along the way, Dodge leapt up and started towards the older woman. Rob looked at him sharply. Uh-oh! Dodge would get the first crack at the old lady. This could work too, though. Dodge made his way to the old woman. She looked up at him silent. The boy sneered at her.

    "And why the hell would Artemis would let an old fart like you stay here?" he boomed aloud to her. "Don't tell the pig's gone for older women now!!!" Everyone stared on in silence. Oh, that was just cold! For the woman of course, not the pig! The old woman glared at him crossly.

    "And what are you getting at, you sad pathetic little puff?!?" she snapped at him.

    "Oh-ho-ho!" the rest of the animals yelled out. Dodge stood there in shocked anger. Rob chucked a bit at them.

    "Don't mind him," the mouse spoke up. "Not all of us are stuck in the Neanderthal era. Some of us are aliens from the future. Which one are you?" Henderson-san turned to Rob glaring. She looked hungry for blood now. Rob slowly began to back up a bit for cover.

    "Are you saying that I am some illegal alien in Japan?!?" she shouted. *Sweat drop on Rob's head*

    "No, no! It's just..." he tried to explain. The old woman didn't listen. She looked everyone in the room. The animals all stared at her in silent shock.

    "What the f**k is wrong with you lot?!?" Henderson-san yelled out loud. "I've got this one insulting me and another one accusing me of being in the country illegally! Why I never!" Such a fuss drew Artemis and June out in the cafeteria again. The pig raced over to the old woman.

    "Henderson-san!" he called out. "Please calm down, I'm sorry if they bothered you!" The old woman turned on him as well!

    "And you!" she snapped. "What's with all of this formal crap?!? Why not just call me mum?!?" Artemis sank down into despair. Noiz's eyes lit up brightly at that one. Fresh tactics just became open to her right away. Rob returned to his seat with the same thought in mind.

    "Now what general?" he asked her. Noiz grinned at him boldly.

    "We dig for information, go out, und destroy!" she called out loud.

    "Yes ma'am!" the mouse said aloud with a salute. And so the mission began.

    Meanwhile, Artemis had his own little mission to carry out. June walked into his office as she saw him talking on the phone with someone. Curious, she listened in closely.

    "I just need you to be my finacee for my mother," he went. "We'll see, bye baby!" June began to feel crushed inside. "Baby?" she thought in worry. "Baby?" Her eyes began to well up with tears. Maybe she heard wrong. June swallowed her sorrow and stood in front of the desk. Artemis looked up at her annoyed.

    "What do you want, June?!?" he asked aloud annoyed. His secretary straightened herself up some.

    "Who were you talking to on the phone?" June forced herself to ask out loud. Artemis grinned at her in high pride.

    "That was my finacee, Lily!" he announced out loud. June looked on in huge shock.

    "F-Finacee?!?" she asked out loud.

    "That's right!" he called out. "We met at a party two weeks ago! We've hit it off ever since! She's rich, hot, and sexy! Plus if I marry her, mom can go live in Florida with my younger sister!" June looked at him confused.

    "What's wrong with her?" she asked. "She's your mother. She brought you into this earth! She has loved and cared for you all of these years."

    "She's an embarrassment, June!" Artemis cried out loud. "Sure, she worked her hands to the bone for my to go to the best private school! But she threw it away by showing up drunk at the parent-student opening. She cut wind deadly enough to knock half of the choir. She swears worse than any sailor on the planet. That woman is always drunk! She needs to be sent off with my sister! Lily is the one to help me to do it!" June broke down into tears and ran away. Artemis watched her do so in silence.

    "What's with her?" he asked himself. He just shrugged and went back to work.

    Meanwhile, Noiz walked around the grounds looking for Artemis' mum. She found the woman near the sand gardens. She was surrounded by most of the animals with cards on a table.

    "Okay everyone!" Henderson-san called out loud. "Here is the Queen of Hearts! Look upon her amazement!" The animals did so surprised. Henderson-son grinned at them all for the next part of the trick. She shuffled up the cards with fast hands. Artemis's mum looked up at the boys again.

    "Now, find the queen!" she boomed out loud. Noiz smirked to herself. "Found ya!" she thought. The kitty made her way over to the older woman. The crowd all looked up and saw the queen herself coming towards them. They all instantly parted for her. Henderson-san sat up boldly as Noiz made her way over to her. The kitty looked all over the spread.

    "Illegal gambling, huh?" she asked aloud. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood and don't feel like turning you in right now!" The older woman looked at her sharply.

    "And why should I fear you, little girl?" she asked. Noiz smiled at her proudly.

    "Two years ago in England, a senior asked me that," the kitty bragged. "I believe that he still checks if he has rabies or not. Plus, he has a funny walk and bad case of itches." Everyone went silent at that one. Henderson-san sighed as she put away the cards.

    "Fine!" she sighed out loud. "Bug out everyone!" The animals all groaned as they complied. Henderson-san turned back to Noiz.

    "Happy now?" she asked bluntly. Noiz shrugged a bit.

    "Almost," she replied causally. The cat gracefully sat next to the older woman. "Tell me all about yourself," she addressed. "I'm dying to know something here." The older woman looked at her slightly confused.

    "Okay," she said. "What is it?" Noiz sat up bravely.

    "If Artemis was your first one," she said without a single pause. "How could you risk having another one?" The cat thought that the older woman would be mad at her for asking such a question. But instead, Henderson-san smiled at her warmly as she shrugged.

    "Don't know," she replied. "It just happened, I guess. And besides," She leaned in close to Noiz. "He and his sister have two different fathers. Artemis' father is American." the older woman whispered. Noiz's eyes grew big in surprise.

    "Oh, I see!" she replied. "That would explain the American name, 'Artemis." And his rude behavior."

    "Yeah," the mother agreed. Both women laughed out loud. They soon calmed down once again. Noiz sat up gracefully again.

    "What brings you to this sad miserable in the first place?" she asked bravely. Henderson-san smiled at her again.

    "You see, I'm going to Florida to live with my daughter," she replied. "And before I do that, I want to see Artemis married off before I leave." Noiz nodded at her some.

    "Ah, I see!" she replied. The women talked on all afternoon. Noiz grew to like the tough old broad. Artemis' mum was kind of... cool. No malice called for today. Well, not yet...

    Noiz made it back inside the lobby of the dorm house. She found Rob and June sitting on the couch together. June was in tears. Curious, Noiz walked over to the pair. They looked up at her right away. The cat froze up at them.

    "What's the matter now?" she asked. "Did the pig do something again?" June cried out loud again.

    "Ah, I'll take that as a yes," the kitty replied. "What did he do now?" Rob calmly explained the whole situation. Noiz thought about this for a moment. Then, an idea came into her head. The mouse saw it right away.

    "What is it, Momo?" he asked. The cat turned to him grinning.

    "Mousey," she said out loud. "We've got a problem to fix!" Rob looked at her slightly confused.

    "Huh?" he asked. His kitty grinned at him still.

    "Leave it to me!" she called out loud. "I've got it all worked out!" At dinnertime, the plan fell right into action. Noiz and Rob spread some naughty little half-truths and rumors about Artemis to Lily. That with June acting jealous and vile, sent the the poor woman screaming, slapping Artemis many times, and running away as fast as she could! After that, the mischievous pair played "cupid" with June and Artemis for Henderson-san before she went off to Florida to live with her daughter. So in short, a happy ending for all. Except for the pig of course!