Insurance Scam

    After Artemis' engagement to Lily fell through, he turned to other loose women. Most of them rejected them because of his idiocy. After weeks of crash and burns, he found a winner. Her name was Phyllis Wyatt. She worked in insurance. Not in the good way, though. Phyllis showed her true colors one day after a good lunch with the pig.

    "Baby," she announced to him. "I've got a good way to make us some money!" The pig looked up excited.

    "Oooo, what is it?" he called out. Phyllis leaned in close to him.

    "I'm going to sell insurance to those new students buying the off-campus apartments," she said. "I'll charge them every month and keep all of the money!" Artemis grinned at that one.

    "I like that!" he said. Phyllis grinned at him. She kissed him on the lips.

    "I knew you would!" the woman said aloud. They both grinned at such a wicked plot. Meanwhile, Noiz wandered down to cafeteria to pick up lunch when she ran into June and Rob talking in the hall. The big baby was in tears yet again. Noiz sighed aloud. "And here we go again!" she thought. The cat walked right over to them. June and Rob looked up right away.

    "Okay," Noiz said out loud. "What did the pig do now?" June cried out again.

    "He left me for a slut!!!" she screamed out loud. "Phyllis Wyatt!" Noiz looked at her confused.

    "What?" she asked. Rob shook his head at her.

    "Artemis dumped her. Even after we made the video and audio recordings," he explained. You see, before Henderson-san left for Florida, Noiz and Rob made recordings of Artemis' engagement to June. Now that mommy dearest is gone, the pig was free again. Oh well, so much for blackmailing pig into doing the animals right. What did she expect? Back to work again. Noiz took a moment to think about it. Then, it all came to her slowly.

    "June," she spoke up. "We'll do some background research on this Phyllis woman and then bring her down for ya, okay?" June nodded at her and walked away back to work. The kitty cat turned to her beloved pet mouse.

    "Ready to go ruin the pig again?" she asked.

    "Yep!" Rob called out cheerfully.

    "Let's go!" Noiz called out loud. Then, the two headed off in the library. So far, the pair turned up nothing. Phyllis had a squeaky clean record. She paid all of her taxes, had a high education, recycled, and volunteered for the community. That didn't sit well with Noiz. She groaned out loud because of it.

    "This is no good," the kitty complained. "There has to be something there about her! Some kind of dirt!" Rob shrugged at his kitty.

    "Maybe she's a good person after all," he suggested. Noiz tried not to laugh at that one.

    "Oh pul-lessh!" she called out. "Anyone that dates that pig is either desperate, stupid, or has a shady past!" Rob thought about that for a moment and nodded.

    "Good point," the mouse agreed.

    "Exactly," Noiz finished up. "So help me dig!"

    "Right," the mouse agreed without an argument. Still, they found nothing. Then, they caught a break. The pair paused when they heard a light shuffle in the doorway. They looked up to see a saw freshman girl with a form in her hands. This little thing looked so cute. Her black-framed glasses made her face look even cuter.

    "Uh... excuse me," she said in a small voice. "Are you the headmistress here?" The cat stood up straight at that one.

    "Why yes I am," she replied. "Can I help you with something?" The girl smiled at her in joy.

    "Why yes!" she called out. "I just bought insurance to rent out an off-campus apartment and I need to know when it starts." The girl handed the cat the paperwork. "I have the papers right here," she said. Noiz took it and read it. The girl and Rob waited in silence. The kitty looked back the young naive freshman.

    "May twentieth at seven at night," she replied. "That's today." The freshman looked really excited.

    "Oh that's great!" she called out. However, Noiz read on. Her face dropped.

    "Hold on," she said. Rob and the freshman paused as they looked on. The kitty read the paperwork closely. Her face became grimmer by the minute. The name of the insurance agent? Why, none other than Phyllis Wyatt! Noiz looked up at the girl right away.

    "This whole thing is nothing but a con!" she called out. "This woman is just pretty much bleeding you dry of money and taking over your apartment! See, look." The freshman girl looked on with her. Her heart sank at the whole wording.

    "Aw," she said at last. "And Wyatt-san seemed so nice too! What am I going to do?" Noiz gave her a little shrug.

    "Stall with the money for the time being," she suggested. "We'll find a way to fix it." The girl looked on at them happily.

    "Oh thank you, headmistress!" she called out. Then, she hurried off right away. Rob turned to his kitty.

    "How?" he questioned. His beloved turned to him smiling wickedly.

    "Leave it to me!" the cat called aloud. Then, she headed off for some lunch. Rob watched her with no emotion on his face this time. "I knew she would say that!" he thought.

    Meanwhile, Artemis and Phyllis took a drive around the campus. Phyllis turned to her boyfriend smiling.

    "I just sold eight policies all in the afternoon!" she bragged happily. "Suckers! They won't know what hit them until it's too late!" Artemis looked on at her nervously. His girlfriend noticed his face right away.

    "Aw, what's wrong baby?" she asked. Artemis swallowed a bit at that one.

    "Are you sure we can pull this off?" he asked. "What if we get caught?" Phyllis smirked at him boldly.

    "I've done it many times!" she called out. "We'll be just fine! Don't be such a pansy!" Artemis tried to relax again. But then, he fell into panic again. His bird became annoyed by his face.

    "Now what?" she asked.

    "Noiz!" her boyfriend yelped out.

    "Huh?" Phyllis asked as she looked forward. She saw the catgirl walking out of the library to go get lunch. Phyllis smirked at the kitty. "So?" she asked indifferent. Artemis still looked pale.

    "So?!?" he asked aloud. "So?!? She makes my life a living hell!"

    "She's not that tough!" the girlfriend said aloud. "I'll speed up to her!" Artemis looked at her scared out of his mind

    "WHAT?!?" he cried. "She'll kill me!"

    "Come on, are you a man or a pansy?!?" Phyllis shouted. With that, the pig made up his mind. He sat back quietly as his bird sped forward right towards the cat. Noiz would have been nearly dead if she hadn't looked up and stopped just in time. Phyllis and Artemis drove away laughing at her. The kitty flew into heavy rage.

    "That bitch tried to kill me?!?" she yelled out loud. Oh, it was on now! No one tries to kill the cat and gives away with it. That night, the plan fell into action. Artemis and Phyllis drove up to the freshman's new apartment. The evil serpent talked on the phone the whole drive there. She hung up the phone slightly ill-tempered. Artemis looked over at his bird.

    "What's wrong?" he asked. Phyllis turned to him with evil in her eyes.

    "That stupid girl is holding off on the first payment," she hissed. "She says that she can't pay until next month!" The fraud forced herself to stay calm. "Oh well," she said. "You'll have to break into the apartment." The pig looked at her confused.

    "Wait, what?!?" he asked aloud. Phyllis smiled at him sweetly.

    "Well, I can't be seen breaking and entering, now can I?" she asked him. "I'm a model citizen! I have a reputation to keep up, you know?" Artemis nodded reluctantly.

    "Good point, alright," the pig agreed. His bird smiled at him in a fake sweetness.

    "That's a good boy," she cooed. The pig sighed as he reluctantly climbed out of the car. He slowly walked up the stone path. Phyllis watched from the car. However, things did not go as planned. Rob, Perry, and Shannon leapt out of the bushes and ambushed the pig on the spot. (Actually, it was mostly Rob and Perry. Shannon had to be more or less dragged out to the fray due to being impaired with alcohol and pills.) Phyllis saw the situation quickly unraveling.

    "Oh shit!" she muttered to herself. The shrew tried to drive away, but the police, insurance bureau, reporters, and Noizchild stood in the road blocking her. Phyllis and Artemis were both arrested on the spot. The bust made the news in the morning. All of the animals watched Artemis get humiliated once again. On the news, the reporter turned to Noiz in front of the apartment complex.

    "Johnson-san," the female reporter said to her. "Is there anything else you want to see about all of this mess?" The cat grabbed the mic away from the woman.

    "Yes!" she called out loud. "College students all over Japan, read the paperwork before you sign anyway. There are people out there that will con you out of everything that you have. I don't care how nice they seem, READ BEFORE SIGNING!!! If not, I will track you down and beat the living crap out of you! That is all!" Noiz shoved the microphone back into the reporter's hand and walked away. Rob followed behind with a bow of apology.