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Jessica's Journal

December 3, 2003

At the request of the lovely Starry, I am updating again. She actually told me twice. *eek*
My cat is driving me crazy. He is such a bad cat and he knows it. Alls I have to do is gasp really loud and he'll stop whatever it is that he's doing wrong. He's also started to look around to see if I'm looking to see what he's doing. He is so bad! I'm considering starting to lock him in a cage.
I need to find a bigger place.
The foster cat has yet to be claimed. I don't think anyone's going to claim her either, which is a shame because she's so sweet. So now, I have to decide whether or not to get rid of her. I've kinda gotten used to her being around and she hasn't added that much more expense. But do I really what three cats? I just don't know. Advice is kindly welcomed!
Chelsea's 11th birthday is in exactly two weeks. I can't get over just how big she's getting. She is such a little mini-me, too. She's got that same sarcastic behavior. I'm not ready for her to grow up this fast!

That's all for now... 2:41PM

November 13, 2003

I think I'm bored with my life.

Not just a little bored like we all get, but really, really bored. I just don't want to live this life anymore. But I'm not looking to commit suicide. I just want a change; a big, huge change.
I've been dreaming a lot about babies lately. I mean, I dream about them a lot in generally because what I want more than anything is to have a baby, but this has been even more than normal. Basically, I think I'm tired of waiting for this life to come to me and I want to go to it. Unfortunately, I don't know how to do that. If anyone can enlighten me, please do!!!

My sister found a cat yesterday. She doesn't appear to be a stray because she's rather plump, but she doesn't have a collar. We're going to put signs up to see if anyone claims her. She's very sweet to people, but she's been growling at my kitten. That's a big no-no. Gillian, the life-long stray, doesn't seem to mind her. Poor Gilmore, all he wants to do is play with the new cat and she keeps growling at him when he tries. He's a pain, but he really is a sweetheart and he just loves other cats. They seemed to be fine this morning so we'll see how this goes. I'd hate to keep her locked up in the cat carrier, but I'm willing to do it if she doesn't leave my baby alone.
Oh, yeah, and I named her Damian. (Where's that evil grin guy when you need him?)

Twelve days until Rilan's 1st birthday!
Fourteen days until Thanksgiving!
Forty-two days until Christmas!
Forty-one days left of shopping!

That's all for now...... 9:18AM

November 6, 2003

Good grief! Where has the time gone? It has been forever since I updated on here. Real like just kinda caught up with me, I guess. Last time I was here, I was debating whether or not to get a kitten from a co-worker. Well, not only did I get him, I took his mother, too. No one else wanted her and I couldnít leave her behind. Sheís a beautiful cat and sheís sweet, but sheís still really unsure of me and tends to hide. A lot. Her name is Gillian and sheís a gray tabby with fluffs of orange. The kittenís name is Gilmore and heís an orange tabby. Heís playful and sweet and a real pain in the arse! Hopefully, heíll calm down as he gets older. I canít get him to stay off of my coffee table, no matter what I try. He just doesnít care. Crazy cat. My mom started calling him ďBaby BoyĒ from the minute I brought him to show her and ever since then thatís what heís responded to. Thanks, Mom. Itís funny because my kids are calling him that, too, especially Brice, whoís three. And now heís calling his baby brother ďBaby Boy.Ē That kid kills me.

Well, this looks like a great time to segway into my kids. They are doing great as always. I feel so lucky to have these kids, this whole family, in my life. I was talking to Sue and Larry (the parents) a few weeks ago and they mentioned how amazing it was that I was such an influence in their kidsí lives. Bricie has never gone a day, not one day, without wanting to see me since I started baby-sitting him a little over two years ago. Every time the kids get something new or do something new, they want to show me. And whenever theyíre going anywhere, whether on a trip or out to dinner, they ask if I can go too. Thatís just amazing to me.

Speaking of my kids, Rilan turns one on the 25th. He will be a whole year old in just 19 days. I remember when he was just a maybe concept. Now, heís this beautiful, happy, healthy, little boy who loves his sister, Emily, and is still a little too afraid to let go and walk on his own. He will hold entire conversations with you, waiting patiently until you reply to his babbling. He loves it when you blow raspberries on his tummy and he already wants to be like his big brothers. One year old. I can scarcely believe it.

Thatís all for nowÖ. 2:27PM

August 15, 2003

I've reached my decision on the cat situation. Well, I've reached a decision, anyway. Basically, I'm not going to actively seek out one of the kittens, but I told JT that if there were any kittens left by the 20th (when they've reached 6 weeks), to talk to me then. I'd rather take one then leave them to the pound. Thank you all (and you know who you are) for your wonderful advice. I really appreciate it.
Looks like I'm going to have another "big" weekend this weekend. Chelsea's spending tonight with me and I'm (and I guess now her too) supposed to go to my kids' house to watch the "Cheetah Girls." It's the new Disney movie. (Speaking of Disney and movies, I ordered the "Lizzie McGuire Movie" from a place in Canada and haven't gotten it yet. Usually, they're so reliable. I wouldn't be as upset, but I bought one for Devon because I didn't have a chance to take him to the movies to see it. I really want to be able to give him it.). Anyways, sorry for the mini-rant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to dye my mother's hair (she has a new job coming up, inclusing training in New Jersey all next week) and then, we're supposed to go shopping (but her unemployment check never showed so I don't know if we'll still get to ~ I need to lend her money for her trip). Sunday, I have to take my mom to the train station for her trip, then I get Chelsea again. We, along with Kara and her friend, Jackie, are going to the movies to see "Uptown Girls." Then, Sunday night is the season finale of The Dead Zone. That is going to be great! You should all watch it!
That's all for now... 4:05PM

August 14, 2003

Iíve been just incredibly busy at work lately so I havenít been updating here. I havenít been able to write much at WWDN much either and that really sucks. We learned this past week that Kathy, the woman I canít stand at work, is getting to keep Leigh Annís desk (Leigh Annís out on maternity leave until Monday Ė I cannot wait for Monday!) and Leigh Ann got moved somewhat far from the rest of us. Even people who have no opinion on Kathy think this is completely wrong to do to Leigh Ann. I am so pissed about it. I listen to my headphones all day long to avoid interaction with that woman. Thereís almost no one in our group who doesnít hate her. We are all annoyed by her, including people with the patience of angels. I donít know what Iím going to do if she doesnít get fired. The only thing keeping me sane already was the idea that she would be moving away from me when Leigh Ann came back. Now, theyíve gone and ruined that!
In other news, another co-worker of mine, JT, has kittens heís trying to get rid of. Actually, itís his wife that wants to get rid of them; JT wants no parts of it. The kittens and their mother live in a building across from where JTís wife works. She grabbed three kittens from there a few months ago, nursed them back to health, and got rid of them. The mother cat got pregnant again and now theyíre going to catch her and have her fixed. In the meantime, theyíre feeding her and watching out for the kittens. Theyíre going to try and find homes for these kittens when itís time. They are so sweet. I want one. I wanted one before but talked myself out of it. Much to the dismay of my mother who was going to have my grandma and sisters give me money for my birthday to go towards a kitten. (I have to pay extra to have a pet in my apartment). Iím looking at them again and going, ďI could have one of those. It wouldnít be too bad. And Iíd have time (six weeks) to save up money.Ē I told my mother this and she got mad at me because I changed my mind before. Like my birthday money was going to add up to that much; if I was lucky, it would have been $50. Thereís an orange striped cat that looks just like a cat I had when I was younger. I loved that cat, but it ran away. I could have another one. But then, thereís so much freakiní responsibility with a cat. I just donít know what I want to do. Someone make up my mind, please!
This past weekend, I went out with some co-workers/friends to see another co-workerís/friendís band. Theyíre a punk rock band and theyíre just getting started, but theyíre actually pretty good. And itís so not my music, at all. Theyíre website is here. Theyíre worth checking out if youíre in the area. And if youíre not, sign the guest book. The guy who runs it, Mike, also in the band, just loves reading those. We went out to breakfast with the band and they are a great bunch of guys. I didnít get home until after 4am!

Thatís all for now.... 1:09PM

Back in June, I went to see The Clarks one of THE greatest bands ever. If youíve never heard them, you should make a point to do. They started out as a Pittsburgh band, but now travel up and down the East Coast. They rock! Anyway, at this concert was a band called Graham Colton. This was the first time I had heard them. They had a song called ďJessica,Ē so, of course, I was instantly intrigued. They were actually really good. I went online and bought their CD. It also rocks! I have been listening to it at work almost non-stop for days. I believe theyíve just signed a record deal. Seriously, take the time to listen to both of these bands. Youíll be glad you did.

Thatís all for now.... 3:05PM

August 1, 2003

So, I was reading up on Howard Dean today. He seems like a pretty interesting guy. I'm going to try and follow him a little more closely. He may even convince me to vote next year.
I know what you're thinking: 1. You were a Political Science major and you don't vote??? 2. YOU DON'T VOTE??? I didn't vote last year because I didn't feel like it and because I'm intimidated by the voting machines. Yes, I am serious. I did vote in the last presidential election, for all the good it did, but that was by absentee ballot.
So, Howard Dean just may help me overcome that fear.
*Sigh* I still miss Bill Clinton, though. I loved that man. He helped shape my interest in politics. I stayed up at age 13 to watch him being elected. I was hooked after that. At least, until college. Now, I'm pretty burnt out on politics. Unless written by Aaron Sorkin. I love that guy! I think he is my favorite writer of ALL TIME. I'm very disappointed that he isn't going to be writing The West Wing this season. I just started to REALLY get into it.

That's all for now.... 2:06pm

July 30, 2003

Somethingís wrong
I donít know what it is, but itís driving me crazy. I have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and I donít know why. Iím not unusually stressed right now. Nothing particularly bad is coming that I know of. And still I canít shake this feeling. Itís killing me at home. I have to keep myself busy from the minute I get home from work until I go to bed or it comes. I even went to the store the other day and bought some DVDs out of the blue, something I never do, just to escape that feeling. I get this way a lot in the winter, but not so much in the summer. Iím driving myself crazy! Iím also getting very emotional. I hate that, but at the same time, I feel like I could really use a good cry.

Thatís all for nowÖ. 1:50PM

July 24th, 2002

I got some great news today.
I went downstairs to the cafeteria with a co-worker of mine to get a muffin and when I returned to my desk, the red light on my phone was flashing. It was my uncle Rick with my really great news. I have a brand new, HEALTHY cousin, a boy, Brian Jesse. He was born this morning at 7:54am, weighing 7lbs, 14oz. He is 20 inches long. But most importantly, heís healthy!!!! See, this is incredibly important. Brian is my uncle Jesseís fourth child and only second surviving one. His first child, Jonathan, was perfectly healthy, too. There wasnít a problem. When his wife (sheís not my aunt; she hates us and keeps Jonathan away from us, despite living only in the next county) was pregnant the second time with my cousin, Lauren Elizabeth, she lost Lauren in utero at eight months. We found out later that Lauren had a heart defect and was also afflicted with severe Downís Syndrome. That was April 10, 1999. My uncleís wife got pregnant a few months later. Her uterus ruptured early and my cousin, Matthew Jesse, swallowed some of the fluid. He lived only eleven hours. Iíve seen pictures of him and you canít tell thereís anything wrong with him at all. He was beautiful. Matthew was born May 19, 2000 and died May 20, 2000. My uncle wanted to be done having kids. He was heartbroken over the losses of Lauren and Matthew. But she wanted another baby and finally broke him down. So, we have been on pins and needles since finding out she was pregnant in February. She was due August 15th, but the doctors didnít want to risk her going into labor, so last Thursday, July 17, they checked her out, but Brianís lungs werenít developed quite enough yet. They checked again this morning and they were. I canít wait to see pictures. I have no idea when, if ever, Iíll get to see him.

Thatís all for nowÖ. 3:42PM

July 22, 2003

Well, Iíve been threatened by a certain Starry girl to update my site. What can I say except that Iím a great big slacker???? And I will once again promise to try to update this more frequently.
Iíve had the last four days off from work. Well, two of those days were the weekend, but you get the idea. What did you do with those four days, you ask? Absolutely nothing. And it was fabulous! I did go shopping at this giant, wonderful Wal-Mart (hold those groans) that I fell in love with and also at a big Target that I wasnít that impressed with. I went with Chelsea and Kara and on the way home, we drove through this huge thunder/lightening storm. There was hail and near zero visibility. It was definitely an adventure, but instead of pulling over to the side of the road, I continued on. Thankfully, we made it through safe and with no damage.
My mom and Chelsea are in Boston right now, visiting some relatives. I was invited to go, but I didnít want to miss that much work. See, Iím feeling a little uneasy about work right now because we have this new person, Kathy. She started out as a temp for the lady I work with who went on maternity leave, but now sheís been hired on full time. Not for that position, but for another in our department. Sheís supposed to split her time between the two jobs. Of course, Iím getting the raw end of the deal unless itís something that will make her look good. Sheís a sneak and I canít stand her. Sheís slower than molasses unless someone complements me on something and then, suddenly, sheís getting everything done quick. They joke at work that if anyone needs to find anything online, then come to me. Ever since they started that, sheís been jumping online looking for any questions that people ask in conversation WHEN THEY HAVENíT EVEN ASKED HER!!!!!! And we suspect that she went to our manager about some people talking on Friday (I wasnít here) and they got pulled into the office. Now, our manager didnít really care; she just wanted to give these people a heads-up, but I know these people and I KNOW there was no way they were being that obnoxious. If they were, someone else would have said something. And the person who reported them wanted to know if they had enough to do. YES, they have TONS to do, but they get it done quickly and correctly, unlike Kathy, who takes forever, unless it would make me look bad. Ugh! Now, my blood pressureís up again!
Everything else seems to be going okay. I supposed to go see my co-workerís band this Saturday. That should be fun. Iím going out to dinner tomorrow for my birthday (I know, it was two weeks ago). This was the first time we could pull everyone whoís going together. Nothing much else is going on.

Thatís all for now...... 2:35PM

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