I'm Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I like big cars, big
tits, and big cigars.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to
give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, dammit.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T
or
Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in
English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for
unpopular
opinions or actions.
I want to know when MTV became such crap and when they're going to
start
playing videos again. They need to change or get off the air.
I think fireworks should be legal everyday, and especially on the 4th
of
July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
than working at Blockbuster. This is ESPECIALLY true if you're a New
York City law student.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or
fat-free on the package.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just
leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I think global warming is a big lie.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years
in
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, (I'd look for a way out) I haven't burned any
witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so
shut-the-
**** -up already.
I believe if you live where nothing grows you should relocate DON'T YOU GET IT? !!!!NOTHING GROWS THERE!!!! MOVE
I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jessie
Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he
always part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
running from them.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me
crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
These people should be targets.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I enjoy watching high speed pursuits, the more damage the better.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes
parents!!
I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. (got some myself and they're not)
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
main stream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
If that makes me a bad American, then yes, I'm a bad American. If you
too are a bad American please feel free to copy this and send it to everyone you know. We
need to start a revolution.
Need Practice ?
I sat last month, as did millions of other American's, and watched as our
government underwent a peaceful transition of power.
I was proud as Mr. Bush took his oath of office. I was sad, as I watched
Mr. Clinton board Air Force One for the final time.
It may surprise you that this made me sad, but let me explain.
Watching this part of the days festivities, I saw 21 U.S. Marines in full
dress blues with rifles deliver a 21 gun salute to the outgoing president.
It was then that I realized what was wrong with America's military. They
need more time on the range with their weapons.
Every last one of them missed!
American Logic Today ?
Let's see if I understand how America works lately . . .
If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.
If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock 'n' roll music or musician he liked.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer,
your family blames the tobacco company.
If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain, you blame the school for poor sex education.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.
If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up
with heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing
clean ones.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.
So if I die while my old, wrinkled ass is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates, OK?
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