You Have Now Reached Mount Everest...

...and are approaching Sherpa territory. The air is cold and thin, wind tears at your fur coat, and you hear footsteps behind you. You glance over your shoulder, just in time to catch a glimpse of two shadows scurrying into the underbrush. You turn and slowly tiptoe towards the noise, peering into a tiny teepee. There, huddled on the snow, you see two Sherpas wearing Jansport backpacks, sitting around a crackling fire. Surprised at how "American" these young girls look, you almost don't notice what it is they're holding. Suddenly you realize the object aflame in the fire is a dead cat. The putrid smell of rotting and burning carcasses fills your nostrils, and you take a step back. The Sherpas grin at you and start tossing what you first believe to be rocks at you, until you look down and see a cracked, shattered human skull. You run from the teepee entrance, screaming bloody murder as their demented laughter rings in your freezing ears. Stumbling and trudging through the snow and ice, you trip over a glass beer bottle that shouldn't have been there in the first place and go flying through the air. Your jaw hits the ground and cracks off of a sharp stone, and you feel the warm trickle of fresh blood in more places than you can count. Feet crunch in the snow just to your left, and before you realize what is happening, you're being dragged through the snow by the Sherpa girls. They hang you from a pole with bailing twine and poke you with forks, haunted by their moronically joyful screams and chants of "Our little tribe has always been and always will until the end!". As you stare into the dark chocolate eyes, evilly afire with sick, twisted pleasure, you feel your heartbeat slow down. Your head droops low, your eyelids closed, and burned inside them is the image of their god.

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Now, for those of you who are dyslexic like us...

Uoy Evah Won Dehcaear Tnoum Tsereve...

...dna era gnihcaorppa Aprehs yrotirret. Eht ria si dloc dna niht, dniw sreat ta ruoy ruf taoc, dna uoy raeh spetstoof dniheb uoy. Uoy ecnalg revo ruoy redluohs, tsuj ni emit ot hctac a espmilg fo owt swodahs gniyrrucs otni eht hsurbrednu. Uoy nrut dna ylwols eotpit sdrawot eht esion, gnireep otni a ynit eepeet. Ereht, deldduh no eht wons, uoy ees owt Saprehs gniraew Tropsnaj skcapkcab, gnittis dnuora a gnilkcarc erif. Desirprus ta woh "Nacirema" eseht gnuoy slrig kool, uoy tsomla t'nod eciton tahw ti si er'yeht gnidloh. Ylneddus uoy ezilaer eht tcejbo emalfa ni eht erif si a daed tac. Eht dirtup llems fo gnittor dna gninrub sessacrac sllif ruoy slirtson, dna uoy ekat a pets kcab. Eht Saprehs nirg ta uoy dna trats gnissot tahw uoy tsrif eveileb ot eb skcor ta uoy, litnu uoy kool nwod dna ees a dekcarc, derettahs namuh lluks. Uoy nur morf eht eepeet ecnartne, gnimaercs ydoolb redrum sa rieht detnemed rethgual sgnir ni ruoy gnizeerf srae. Gnilbmuts dna gnigdurt hguorht eht wons dna eci, uoy pirt revo a ssalg reeb elttob taht t'ndluohs evah neeb ereht ni eht tsrif ecalp dna og gniylf hguorht eht ria. Ruoy waj stih eht dnuorg dna skcarc ffo fo a prahs enots, dna uoy leef eht mraw elkcirt fo hserf doolb ni erom secalp naht uoy nac tnuoc. Teef hcnurc ni eht wons tsuj ot ruoy tfel, dna erofeb uoy ezilaer tahw si gnineppah, er'uoy gnieb deggard hguorht eht wons yb eht Aprehs slrig. Yeht gnah uoy morf a elop htiw gniliab eniwt dna ekop uoy htiw skrof, detnuah yb rieht yllacinorom lufyoj smaercs dna stnahc fo "Ruo elttil ebirt sah syawla neeb dna syawla lliw litnu eht dne!". Sa uoy erats otni eht krad etalocohc seye, yllive erifa htiw kcis, detsiwt erusaelp, uoy leef ruoy taebtraeh wols nwod. Ruoy daeh spoord wol, ruoy sdileye desolc, dna denrub edisni meht si eht egami fo rieht dog.

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