When the large crowd surrounding our table began to dissipate, I looked out into mall. It was relatively empty, but standing by herself, her arms full of bags was a young woman-she looked about my age-and she was standing there, looking at me, but not really at me; through me. I told Brian I'd be right back and left him to handle the fans. I left the restaurant and it was then that I recognized her. It was Miranda, and it had been six months since I'd last seen her in person and she'd changed greatly in those six months. Her hair wasn't nearly as long-only fell about halfway to her elbows now-and it was layered and kind of floated around her face. The athletic, lazy clothes I was used to seeing her in were gone and she looked very chic and very up-to-date in black three-inch loafers, dark gray thigh-high socks, a short black skirt, a sheer white tuxedo shirt that fell about even with the bottom of her skirt and a dark gray V-neck, sleeveless, prep sweater over that. She sighed visibly and turned to walk away, so I ran to catch up to her.

"Miranda! Miranda, wait!" She stopped walking and turned towards me.

"Kevin? What are you doing here? Didn't you all leave yesterday?"

"Howie, AJ and Nick did but Brian and I aren't leaving until tonight." There was an awkward silence. "So, doing some last minute shopping?" I asked, gesturing to her bags. She looked down at them as if she seemed to realize for the first time that they were there.

"Oh yeah. Since I worked late, I decided just to come here and get all my shopping done. I normally wait until Christmas Eve, but this time I'm two days early. I already got most of my friends' gifts anyway. What about you? Going home for Christmas?" She looked me in the eye for the first time.

"Yeah. Brian's flying down to Florida to pick up his mom tonight and they're flying to Lexington tomorrow. I'm going right to Lexington."

"Well, say hi to your mom. And have a good Christmas." She started to walk away, but I caught her arm.

"Why don't you come with?"

"Huh?"

"You know, come to Lexington for Christmas with me. I know your parents are in Europe, and all your friends are at college, right? So come down with me. You want to see my mom again anyway, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Please?"

"I don't need to see Brian anymore than I already do. Being in the same house for Christmas isn't going to help."

"Look, I promise he won't bother you; or hurt you ever again." I hugged her tight.

"Fine. But if he does, you owe me your life. Pick me up later, okay?" I smiled.

"I will, I promise." I kissed her cheek and she walked away. I walked back into the restaurant, looking at my watch.

"Hey, man, thanks for leaving me with all the fans."

"Well, you were busy flirting, so you took longer to sign all their pictures and stuff. I signed all of them already. Look, I'm going." Things hadn't exactly been the best between Brian and me since what happened in France. Brian looked a bit surprised. "Okay, well, I'll see you in a couple days, then." I nodded curtly, picked up my bags and left.

"Excuse me," I heard a soft voice say. I looked up in the earnest face of a cute little girl. I smiled at her.

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Sure, what's your name?"

"I'm Cassie. What's her name?" Cassie said, gesturing to Miranda. Miranda looked up and smiled at Cassie.

"This is Miranda. She's a good friend of ours, one of our best friends." Miranda noticed the camera in the girl's hand.

"Do you want me to take a picture of you and Kevin?" Miranda smiled.

"Yes, please!" I handed Cassie back her pinup of me and the guys and turned to face Miranda, putting my arm around Cassie's waist. Miranda took a couple pictures, just to be sure, before handing the camera back to Cassie.

"Thanks!" Cassie smiled shyly. "Merry Christmas." She walked away.

"She was sweet," Miranda commented.

"Yeah. If only all of them could be like that." I went back to reading my magazine and heard a soft sigh from Miranda.

"Miry? What's wrong?"

"I'm scared, that's all. I know I'm going to run into Brian, but..."

"Look, everything'll be okay. I promise."

"I know. Thanks, Kevin." The light that indicated we had to have our seatbelts on came on and we prepared to land.

After we had gotten through the airport, I had hailed a taxi and gave them the directions to my house. Miranda stood hesitantly at the front door while I was getting our luggage from the taxi's trunk, but I nodded to her.

"Just go in." She shrugged and pushed open the front door. I stepped into the hallway behind her.

"Mom! We're home!" Miranda jumped about thirty feet.

"Dork, don't do that!" she hissed. I grinned and shrugged.

"Sorry." I stepped in front of Miranda to hug my mom. Miranda hugged her next and my mom was fussing over her hair when my cousin came bounding into the room, following his daughter.

"Aunt Miranda, Aunt Miranda, Aunt Miranda!" Kelly screamed, running into the room and flinging herself in Miranda's arms. Miranda swung her around and hugged her tight.

"She's gotten louder, Harold." My mom commented to my cousin Harry.

"Yeah, I know," he grinned. "When do we eat?" My mom rolled her eyes and walked back into the kitchen.

"Ten minutes. Kevin, Miranda, go get unpacked."

"I'll show you where you're going to stay, Aunt Miry!" Kelly exclaimed.

"Kel, she just got here, maybe she wants to relax." Harold said to his daughter.

"No, it's okay, Harry." Miranda said reassuringly. She gave Harold a hug before allowing herself to be dragged upstairs by Kelly.

They came downstairs ten minutes later. Miranda had changed into a pair of flares and her favorite Wildcats jersey, which was long and blue. She'd pulled her hair up into a tight, high ponytail, so now the emphasis was on her face and her green eyes sparkled. I smiled at her as she walked into the kitchen with Kelly on her hip.

"We're gonna go scope out presents, wanna come with?" Miranda grinned and received a smack on the butt from my mom. "Oh, come on, Anne. We're kids! We gotta!" My mom only made a sound under her breath, so the three of us slowly snuck from the room and ran into the living room where a huge pile of presents sat under the tree. Miranda of course, found the biggest one.

"Look, Kel, it's for you!" Kelly squealed with delight and threw her arms around Miranda's neck.

"Who's it from, Aunt Miry?"

"Your cousin Kevin." I grinned.

"Really?" I nodded and Kelly flung her arms around my neck. I smiled over her head at Miranda.

It was after dinner and Miranda and Kelly had been chasing each other around the house for hours. But now, things had calmed down.

"Okay, Kevin, how much caffeine did you give Miranda on the plane?" I smirked.

"None, Mom. Why?"

"I've never seen her like this. At least it's quiet now, though."

"Well, don't say that or it'll-"

"OH MY GOD! SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!" Miranda screamed as she ran by. Kelly was chasing Miranda with a big foam bat.

"Be loud again." I finished. Sounds of death by a foam bat were floating through the house.

Miranda ran back into the room shrieking and hid behind me, surrendering me to Kelly's evil actions. I grabbed the bat from Kelly, bopped her on the head and held the bat high above my head so she couldn't reach it.

"No! Kevin, give it back!" Kelly jumped up and down, clawing at me, trying to jump up. Miranda leaned around me and stuck her tongue out at Kelly before running away again. Kelly chased after her and I heard an "AHHH!", a thud and a groan.

"Uh oh." I moaned and walked into the living room. Miranda was lying sprawled on her stomach and Kelly was sitting victoriously on her back.

"Hey, guys, time for ice cream!" My mom called from the kitchen. Kelly and Miranda climbed off the floor and Kelly jumped into Miranda's arms. Miranda followed me into the kitchen, took a bowl of the ice cream and kissed my mom's cheek.

It was finally quiet in the house, that being attributed to the fact that Kelly was sleeping peacefully in Miranda's arms. I had my arm around Miranda's shoulder and she was leaning against me sleeping. Harold came over and pried Kelly from Miranda's arms, being careful not to wake either one, kissed my mom goodnight and walked upstairs with his wife.

"Hey, Miranda," I nudged her awake gently. She made an incoherent sound and I made a face. I removed her from my shoulder and scooped her into my arms.

"Goodnight, Kevin. See you tomorrow."

"Night, Mom."

I carried Miranda upstairs and laid her on my bed gently. I pulled the covers over her and tucked her in tight, kissing her forehead. I leaned over Miranda and grabbed an extra pillow and laid down on the floor.

I yawned and stretched and for a moment, wondered where I was at. I looked around the room and realized that not only was I in Lexington and in Kevin's room, but I was in his bed. I looked over the side of the bed and there was Kevin, sprawled on his stomach and snoring. I smirked and climbed over him. I was still in my clothes, so I dug through my bag and quickly changed into my boxers with little red and black ants all over them and an old, faded flannel shirt. I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and opened the door quietly and stepped through, leaving it cracked. I followed my nose to the smell of bacon and eggs and kissed Anne on the cheek.

"Hi, Mom. What's up?" She smiled.

"Not much here. How about with you? And why are you up so early?"

"Smelled food, smelled good, came downstairs." Anne laughed.

"Well, since you and I are the only ones awake, we'll eat now, put everything in the fridge and then head over to do some last minute shopping before church."

"Sounds good to me!" I piled the food on my plate and ate it heartily, before running upstairs to change. Kevin was still sleeping, this time on his back, when I went into his room, so I plopped down on him gently.

"Oof." He muttered.

"Hey! Don't oof me, mister!" I punched him in the stomach lightly and he groaned. "Kevy, wake up. We're going shopping!"

"Great; just what I want to do!" "GET UP!" I screamed. He jumped about thirty feet and glared at me. I smiled innocently, grabbed some clothes and ran from the room.

When I got back into his room, he was dressed and sitting at his desk, reading something. I leaned over his shoulder.

"Whatcha readin'?"

"That diary you made all of us write in on our last tour this is some deep stuff."

"Yeah, I know. I've never read it, though. I should publish it. Who's the last entry from?"

"You." Kevin flipped to the back of the thick binder and handed it to me silently. I read aloud softly,

"And so, on this cold January day, I say my goodbyes to possibly the best band in the world and probably my best friends. I've tried to stay, but the feelings between some members and I are too harsh. I have two years of memories with these men and they have changed me profoundly in such a way that I don't even know of yet. Most people have never and will never have the experiences I've had and I'll cherish them deep in my heart forever. Love, hugs and bubble gum kisses, Miranda Bailey."

I shut the book and hugged Kevin tight.

"It seems like such a long time ago, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's only been six months."

"I know, but I'm such a different girl from who I was before."

"You're not a girl anymore. You've been through a lot."

"Yeah, I have. Let's get going." I pulled Kevin to his feet, and still holding his hand, walked downstairs. We followed Anne outside and climbed into her car.

"Wow. Miranda, you look like you stepped out of some vintage Forties magazine!" Anne exclaimed, looking me over. I was wearing a black, semi-tight skirt that fell just below my knee and a dark green tank top with a matching sweater over it, with just the second button buttoned. I had on "Nude" nylons and black ankle strap high heels. My hair was down, parted on the left side with the bangs held back with a diamondy oval pin.

"Thanks." I grinned and kissed her cheek. "Am I the last one?"

"Yep, looks like-"

"Let's rock!" Kevin cut in. I glanced at him.

He proceeded to walk into the living room, but stopped short. I, not anticipating his stop, slammed right into him.

"Kevin, what's the big--?"

"Miranda?!" Someone pulled me from behind Kevin and I looked up into Brian's furious face. "What are you doing here?" I pulled my arm away from his.

"I'm spending Christmas here, thanks."

"Why? Don't you have your own family to bother?"

"Brian, that was rude! Apologize!" Snapped Jackie, Brian's mother.

"It's true! Why is she here spending Christmas with our family when she has her own?"

"Because her parents are in Europe and all of her friends moved, remember?" Anne commented.

"So? Who invited her?"

"I did." Kevin spoke up. "I saw her the day before yesterday at the mall and she looked lonely, so I invited her to come and spend Christmas with me, not you. She had no desire to see you and I can see why. C'mon, Miranda." Kevin took my hand, handed me my coat and led me to his car. I buckled Kelly into the backseat before climbing in next to Kevin. Right before I sat down, I caught Brian's gaze. I wouldn't say he was looking at me meanly, he just had a look on his face I'd never seen before, not from him. I broke his gaze and slid into the car.

I knocked quietly on Kevin's bedroom door, and thinking it hadn't been heard over the rather loud music, I turned to leave.

"Brian?" I heard Miranda ask quietly. I turned back to her.

"Hi. Um, can we talk?" I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"I don't think I have anymore to say to you." She started to shut the door, but I held it open with my hand.

"C'mon, let's go down to the park and talk, like old times." Miranda sighed.

"I don't know why I should-look, let me change, okay?" She was still in her clothes from church. I nodded and she shut the door tight. A few minutes later, the door opened again and Miranda walked out wearing a pair of faded jeans and a sweatshirt. I followed her downstairs and she grabbed her jacket.

"Okay, so we're here."

"Miranda, I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. That was mean of me. Why do you look so surprised?"

"That's the first time I've heard you apologize."

"Ouch." I rubbed my chest, right over my heart. "That hurt. I guess I deserve it, huh?" Miranda only nodded. "I never meant to hurt you, Miry. Don't think that I did."

"I know you didn't mean it, but you still did."

"Do you know what I'd give to have you back the way we used to be?"

"I brought this with." Miranda said, pulling a folded up piece of paper from her pocket and handing it to me. I looked at her curiously and opened it.

"Gee, I don't really know what to write, I've never been good at writing down what I'm feeling, but since Miranda asked me, I guess I will. I hurt Miranda, and I don't think that's something I can deal with anymore. I hurt her, and I never meant to do it. She saw me, with Courtney, and well, everything just collapsed from there. What we had built up for two years fell down with a simple misjudgment of mine. I wish I could give anything, I WOULD give anything, if it meant I could have Miranda back in my arms, back to the "fairytale romance", as the media coined it. God, I love her, but I never told her and I never gave her a chance.

She's gone now, and I'm afraid she's gone forever. After traveling with us for two years, she left, in the middle of the night so we couldn't even say goodbye. All she left was a short, simple note that tore my heart in two. I knew it would happen someday, but I never wanted it to. At the end of this long journey, I'm leaving this entry in the binder as my last final say, with the hope of Miranda someday reading this and my tears touching her heart-and at least knowing that she once cared for me, in her great heart, in the loving embrace of her arms. Love, Brian "B-Rok" Littrell.

"Oh, Miranda," I murmured.

"I was reading mine over and I saw yours. You put mine in last. Why?"

"Because it sounded like the end of a chapter of someone's life, yours, or mine, especially ours, together. Miranda, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I ever hurt you like that." I sank onto a bench and burst into tears. Miranda sat next to me quietly, while I sobbed. When I looked up again, she was gone.

"Brian, we shouldn't be doing this," Courtney pouted. I kissed her again, deeply.

"I know, baby, but I want to," Courtney giggled and flung her curly blond hair over her shoulder. She kissed my neck and ran her hand down my bare chest, reaching for my belt buckle. I quickly grabbed her hand and pushed it away. "No, not yet, anyway." Courtney giggled again and climbed onto my lap, facing me.

"Hey, Brian, guess-" the door banged open and I saw Miranda in the doorway. I jumped up, knocking Courtney to the floor.

"Miranda, I can explain."

"No. Save it. I knew something was going on, I knew it. I can't believe you! I thought you were different!" Miranda shouted.

"Miranda-"

"And you. You little tramp. Can't do good enough to go and find your own man, you gotta take mine, huh?"

"Don't talk to her like that!" I shouted. Miranda jumped back and looked at me in surprise. She ran from my sight and I heard a door slam in the distance.

"Shit." I muttered, sinking back onto the couch. "F*ck!"

"Aww, baby, it's okay," Courtney murmured. She tried to climb back onto my lap but I just pushed her away.

"No, it's not. Get out. Get out right now."

"Fine. We'll see who benefits. I hope no one ever sues you, Brian." Courtney gathered up her things and stalked out, slamming the door behind her.

I sat up quickly, breathing deeply. The sheets were sweaty and bunched around my legs. I untangled myself and made my way down to the kitchen for a drink.

Miranda was standing in the kitchen when I walked in. The only change in her demeanor was a quick glance in my direction.

"Have trouble sleeping?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah-nightmare."

"Looks that way, from the color of your face. You're pale. Drink orange juice." I nodded and pulled the gallon out.

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve." She commented.

"Yeah. You remember last Christmas Eve?" She smiled a bit wistfully.

"Yeah, when we were in France? That was neat. Seeing all the snow and all the Christmas lights all over France. It sure was pretty."

"Yeah, I doubt we'll get snow here, though." She hoisted herself on to the counter.

"I don't know. The weather guy is predicting some, so you never know. They're normally wrong, though, but hey."

"My nightmare was about you." I said, bluntly. She looked taken aback.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She snapped, looking away.

"It was about what happened that night in France. When I ruined everything when I ruined any chance," Miranda murmured something. "What did you say?" I caught her gaze.

"Nothing. Look, tomorrow's Christmas Eve. Let's try and be civil towards eachother at least tomorrow and the day after, okay?" She smiled weakly. I nodded. She stepped up and hugged a very surprised me. I heard a small sob escape from her as she ran from the room.

Miranda's Point of View

Last night was horrible. I had to go and cry in front of Brian. God. I always managed to make a fool of myself.

I climbed from bed and looked around the room. It was very sunny and bright and Kevin was again sprawled on the floor. I sighed again.

Today was going to be hell.

"Kevin," I nudged his side with my foot. "Kevin, wake up."

"What is it, Miranda?" He muttered.

"Can you come downstairs with me?"

"Why do I need to? I want to sleep."

"Because I don't want to run into Brian again." Kevin was immediately awake.

"What happened? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no, nothing like that. It was just embarrassing to me and I don't want to face him alone."

"Well, it's already 9:30." Kevin commented, looking at his watch. "So, I can pretty much guarantee he's up. So's my mom, though, so you should be fine." I sighed and nodded as Kevin rolled onto his side and went back to bed. I stood up and stretched. I grabbed a pair of flares and my Hard Rock Cafe Tokyo t-shirt that Aaron had given me as a present and quickly got dressed. I pulled socks on, since my feet were cold and ran a brush through my hair before holding it back with a headband. I grabbed my glasses. I need them for distance and slid them on before stepping into the hallway and going downstairs. Anne was sitting at the table already, and writing something.

"Hi, Mom." I said, leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Hi, Honey. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Didn't sleep well." I grabbed a muffin and sat next to her. "What's up?"

"I need to run to the store and get some things for tonight's dinner."

"I'll do it for you." Anne looked at me and studied my eyes.

"Alright. But there's no way you can do it alone. How about you let Brian help you?" I nodded silently and put my shoes on as Anne left the room. I looked up again when Brian walked in and then quickly looked down. He looks so good, I thought. He was wearing a t-shirt and a baggy sweatshirt and baggy jeans, but he looked so good. I was falling for him again. I stood up and grabbed my jacket.

"Ahh! My car is at my house." Brian said, apologetically.

"No big deal," I replied. "We can take Kevin's." I grabbed Kevin's keys from his coat pocket and followed Brian down to the street. I climbed behind the wheel and started the SUV.

"You okay with driving a car this big?" Brian looked worried and I smirked.

"When I saw Kevin in June I had to run some errands for him. I've driven it before."

"You saw Kevin in June?" I nodded. "He didn't mention."

"I asked him not to."

"But why?"

"Think about it, Brian. You're a smart guy. You should be able to figure it out." Brian sighed.

"Are you ever going to stop hating me?"

"You've got millions of girls who love you. So what if you're minus one."

"You're the most important one, that's what matters."

"I'm certain that's not what you were thinking when I walked in on you and Courtney."

"Miranda-"

"No, look. I shouldn't have said that. It's Christmas Eve."

"I don't care. We need to talk. We can't just ignore eachother for an entire year after spending two years together."

"Why not?"

"Because we spent two years of our lives together. We were in love. At least, I know I loved you. Miranda, if you loved me at all, you can't just give up on me. People make mistakes."

"Yeah, I suppose cheating on your girlfriend can be a mistake." I pulled into a parking space at the store and turned off the car. "Brian, what do you want from me?"

"I want you, again. To know that you still care. To know that when I wake up in the morning, you'll still be sleeping by my side." A lock of hair fell in front of my face when I looked down and Brian brushed it back. The feel of his fingers on my cheek reawakened feelings in me I didn't know I still possessed.

"I don't know, Brian." I left the car and started to walk into the store and he ran up behind me, grabbing my arm.

"Can't you give me a chance?"

"I'm sure I could," I said thoughtfully. "The question is, will I?"

"Mom-where're Brian and Miranda?" I asked, walking into the living room.

"Shopping, why?"

"Together?"

"Well, yes, they both left in your car. I'm assuming they're together." My mom looked confused. "Why?"

I collapsed onto the couch and covered my face with my hands.

"Kevin, what's the matter?"

"Well, see, you know they're not dating anymore, right?"

"Well, yes."

"Do you know why?"

"I was never told why." I sighed and proceeded to tell her.

"See, what happened was..."

"So, the last time Brian and Miranda saw each other in person was when she stormed from his hotel room. That was last Christmas. I saw Miranda in June, but she asked me not to tell anybody and I haven't. Until now."

"And I asked them to go shopping together?"

"And I'm afraid Brian may not make it back alive, with the way Miranda was feeling." My mom groaned and leaned back into the couch.

"We're home!" I heard Miranda's sensual voice call out. "Anybody here?" I dashed into the front hallway and I saw both Miranda and Brian standing, seemingly unhurt.

"What's the look on your face for, Train?" Brian asked, looking amused.

"You're alive!" I said giddily, and I hugged both of them tight. Miranda just gave me a weird look and walked past me. Brian cracked up at Miranda's expression and followed her.

I exchanged a glance with Miranda, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I think old age is getting to Kevin."

"He's only 31." She whispered back. She glanced over her shoulder at Kevin again and saw that he was staring at us warily.

"Wait." He said. "So you two are talking now?"

"We talked." Miranda set two mugs of chocolate down and I brought over mine. I sat next to Miranda and across from Kevin. "We talked," Miranda said again. "For awhile."

"How long is awhile?"

"Three hours."

"I was worried sick." I glanced at Kevin.

"About what?"

"You guys. Being alone."

"I'm a grown woman, Kevin. I can handle myself."

"I know you can."

"Wait. Did you think I was gonna get the shit beaten outta me?" I asked incredulously. Kevin blushed and I laughed. "Miranda couldn't hurt a fly!"

"I could too!" She protested. "If I really wanted to. I just choose not to!"

"Gee." I said wryly. "Thanks."

"No problem. Anyway, what are we doing tonight?"

"It's Christmas Eve." Kevin replied.

"Okay, yeah, and?"

"You get to meet the entire Littrell/Richardson family." I said, grinning.

"Special."

"Miranda, you look beautiful." She was wearing a long sleeve, dark green velvet dress that fell past her ankles. Her dark brown hair was curled around her shoulders and held back with a diamondy headband.

"Thanks. You ain't so bad yourself." I grinned and looked down. I was wearing a black suit with a dark green shirt and satin tie.

"We match." Miranda laughed and Kelly came running down the stairs.

"Auntie Miry, look!" Kelly twirled around in a circle, showing off her dark purple, velvet gown.

"You look just simply gorgeous, dahling." Miranda said, bending down and kissing Kelly's cheek. "I do think you'll be a smash at the ball."