Forgiveness is free. All you have to do recieve it is recieve it. If you genuinely want Christ as your personal Saviour and tell Him so, I believe that you are saved. Now, I don't want to decieve you-God does want some things. Namely, a personal relationship with you. He wants to talk with you, you to talk with Him, He wants to help you grow and be successful in life by guiding you through His word and your prayer. As you begin to explore His word and talk with Him, He will prompt you toward the changes in your daily life that will cause you to be successful in your earthly life and blameless in His eyes. Try not to stress being perfect. God is our Father and no reasonable Father expects His children to be perfect. He expects you to listen and learn. If you don't know,ask and He'll answer. If you can't find, seek and He'll show you. He promises this in the Word. You may have doubts, you may not believe at all, but I challenge you to put your deductions to the test. Find yourself a quiet place and tell Him that you are ready to be free of your sins. Tell Jesus that you want Him to cleanse you of all your wrongs and make you whole. Put forth the tiniest inkling of faith you can muster and I promise you'll see a difference. If I'm wrong, you'll spend two or three minutes alone talking to the air and will have lost nothing. But, if I'm right, you will spent nothing and gained eternal life. Try Him.
Slow down! Your entire life won't change right before your eyes in 10 seconds. There's no magic trick here. We're talking about a life change that takes some time and effort. Don't get me wrong. God has the power to change anything, anytime, but we as humans are destined to make a lot of mistakes along the way and it will take time for us to understand all of the things that He has for us. Don't give up. When you fall down, He's there to pick you up. Brush off and try again. He'll never get frustrated and leave you. He'll never tell you He doesn't have time for you. God loves you and will supply your every need if you'll live your life for Him. I promise.
Please, please, please mail me your questions. This is my joy and I will always have time to respond. The only stupid question is the one you failed to ask. I love you all. Good day.
Also, if you would like to hear my testimony, e-mail me and ask and I will send it to you as an attatchment.