1.31.96 <> 2.2.96 <> 2.6.96 <> 2.8.96 <> 2.12.96 <> 2.14.96 <> 2.22.96 <> 2.23.96 <> 3.29.96 <> Fall 96 (#1) <> Fall 96 (#2) <> Fall 96 (#3) |
(Russ, badgettrm@hotmail.com) *selection updated 2.10.98 FOR INSTANCE, IN PHILOSOPHY I POSED THE QUESTION: "IS THERE REALLY A GOD?" OR IS GOD JUST SOMETHING SOME INSANE PHILOSOPHER CREATED TO BE THE ULTIMATE JUDGE OVER EVERY QUESTION THAT HAS NO REAL ANSWER, BUT ONLY OPINIONS? AND IF SO, AREN'T WE ALL god's SINCE WE ALL HAVE ANSWERS(OUR OWN OPINIONS) TO ANY GIVEN SET OF QUESTIONS? [Edited for Television] IN RESPONSE TO YOUR EDITORIAL ABOUT HOW I ONCE SAID, "WE ALWAYS HAVE TO PUT UP WITH WALLACE FREAKING OUT." YOUR RIGHT, "FUCK THAT!" (MINUS THE TIME YOU PLAYED SHAMU NAKED IN CAROLINE'S POOL AND WANTED ME TO BE YOUR CALF). THE COMMENT PROBABLY CAME FROM A ONCE SMALL AND INFERIOR CATAPILLAR, STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE. THAT HAS NOW BLOSSOMED INTO A BEAUTIFUL AND FREE BUTTERFLY, ROAMING THE EARTH ON A WHIMSICAL BREEZE. HOW IS SCHOOL FOR YOU? I'M SURE YOUR FEEDING YOUR HEAD. I HAVEN'T HAD A WET DREAM IN TWO WEEKS. BUT I ALSO HAVEN'T HAD A CIGARETTE IN FOREVER. YOUR GOING TO FOLD, I JUST KNOW IT. YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE ALREADY DID YOU? CLOVES COUNT! MY CHESTHAIR IS RECEEDING. COOL HUH? **from e-mail to me on 1.31.96 *selection updated 2.11.98 -THE OX WALKS SLOW, BUT THE EARTH IS PATIENT. -DREAMS ABOUT DOGS AREN'T BAD AS LONG AS THEY STAY DREAMS. -EVEN IF THEY DON'T STAY DREAMS, THEY AREN'T NECESSARILY BAD. -TWO SHAKES IF YOUR WEARING BOXERS. -YOU OVER PLAY PHISH SOMETIMES. -PEOPLE ARE STRANGE, WHEN YOU'RE A STRANGER. -TAKE THE UNDERDOG UNDER YOUR WING. -WE'RE JUST TWO LOST SOLES SWIMMING IN A PHISHBOWL. -AND FIRST AND FOREMOST: WE ARE NOT TELLING ____ I CALLED HIM ________'_ BITCH, COOL! **from e-mail to me on 2.2.96 *selection updated 2.12.98 MTW, I WAS PLEASED TO RECIEVE FOUR MESSAGES ON MY E-MAIL ANSWERING MACHINE. LISTEN, DICK HEAD, IF YOU'RE GOING TO TRANSEND TO A NEW LANGUAGE FULL OF VERBS FROM YOUR THESARUS, PLEASE GIVE ME AN ANSWER KEY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON. I TAKE (FROM MY MASTER DECIPHERING OF A BUNCH OF PHILOSOPHICAL BULL-SHIT) THAT DURING YOUR TRIP YOU WERE A PUPPET MASTER AND ALL YOUR PUPPETS WERE PLAYING AND DANCING AS NEVER BEFORE. AND SINCE YOU THINK YOUR PUPPETS WILL NEVER PERFORM LIKE THAT AGAIN YOU NEVER WANT TO FORGET THEIR SUPERB PERFORMENCE. THEREFORE YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MUSHROOMS AGAIN. IS THIS THE MESSAGE YOU WERE TRYING TO SEND OVER THE BATPHONE? [Edited for Television] P.S. IF YOU EVER CUT CAIN AGAIN I'LL BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND STEAL YOUR STAR WARS COLLECTION AND THOSE BLACK PANTIES YOU HAVE FROM THAT WHORE IN SWEDEN. SINCERELY, THE DOGGED FACED BOY **from e-mail to me on 2.6.96 *selection updated 2.13.98 no drag inover 42 days and yes it is kick ass. i keep thinking your _____ ___ ____ ass has cheated too, but if i've done it than i'm sure you could have too. plus, the ____ has nothing to do with it, i'm not going to let your fat ass win this mental struggle of whether cigarettes are addictive. i'm falling in love with you over the internet. i come hear everyday hoping you've written and you always do. i think i seriously love you, fat ass or not. jerry's right it does take three years before you can honestly say you've kept the weight off. with all my prayers, RICHARD SIMONS **from e-mail to me on 2.8.96 *selection updated 2.14.98 BAD WEEKEND-I LOST GRIP OF THE HANDLEBARS AND HOW CAN YOU STEER IF YOU CAN'T HANG ON TO THE HANDLEBARS? I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE DAYS RIGHT NOW. THINKING ABOUT DROPPING OUT AND BECOMING A TOWNIE. I ALREADY HAVE ALL THE QUALITIES I NEED TO BE A SUCCESSFULL 'TOWNIE'. NOTHING EVER ENDS GOOD, OR ELSE IT WOULDN'T END! I'M GOING TO BUY A RAZOR BLADE AND SOME ROLAIDS. THE RAZOR BLADE IS TO SLIT MY WRIST, THE ROLAIDS ARE FOR WHEN I DECIDE I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF AND I START THINKING OF WHAT AN UNDISCIPLINED ASSHOLE I AM SOMETIMES. HEARD FROM MARNY AGAIN-- SHE SAID TO KEEP MY SPIN AND SHE ALSO TOLD ME THAT WE WERE LUCKY WE HAD SOMEONE TO MISS. I HOPE THINGS ARE BETTER THAN SATURDAY, KEEP THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GOING ROUND, ROUND, ROUND. TAKE CARE, RUSSELL **from e-mail to me on 2.12.96 *selection updated 2.15.98 -I CAME UPON A FORK IN THE ROAD AS I WAS TRAVELING. ONE ROAD WAS WORN BY ALL THE TRAFFIC THAT IT HAD PREVIOUSLY ENCOUNTERED. THE OTHER WAS COVERED WITH GRASS STILL BECAUSE ONLY ONE OR TWO HAD CHANCED ITS DIRECTION. AND I TURNED AROUND AND RETRACED MY STEPS TO THE BAR BEECAUSE I NEEDED A BEER, AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. **from e-mail to me on 2.14.96 *selection updated 2.16.98 ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS SOME GOOD SHIT. FINALLY! SO YOUR SAYING BEER HAS TINY PARTICLES OF KRYPTONITE IN IT. NO FUCKING WONDER. I'VE DECIDED THAT ORLANDO IS A LITTLE SICK BASTARD. HE IS ALWAYS SENDING ME PERVERTED PICTURES. I THINK HE GETS THEM SENT TO HIM FROM PUERTO RICO. THEY REALLY DO THAT STUFF OVER THERE. THAT IS WHY I LOVE ORLANDO. IF WE FINALLY CATCH THAT TRAIN, I'LL PAPER, ROCKS, SISSORS, YOU FOR WHO GETS TO PULL THE WHISTLE FOR THE FIRST 1,000 MILES. I'VE GOT NEW TIRES ON MY CAR SO THINGS ARE RUNNING SMOOTH. HOW ARE YOU DOING? HOW'S MARNY? I'LL SEND SOME SHIT HER WAY IN A SECOND. I'M OUTY-500. LATER ALLIGATOR. SEE YA, BAKE! SPLOTMAN. JESUS. FATTY. SHAKE THAT FUNKY BOOTY WHITE BOY. YOUR A SISSY. SEE HOW IMMATURE YOU USED TO BE? PEOPLE DON'T FORET STUFF LIKE THAT, TINKER. I'M GOING TO TELL HAWK YOU EXPLODED ALL OVER HIS DRESSER. HAVE YOU EVER DANCED WITH THE DEVIL BY THE PALE MOON LIGHT? WHY DID THE JOKER ASK THAT? EARTH DAY 96. T-DOG **from e-mail to me on 2.22.96 *selection updated 2.17.98 I THINK I'M MISSING A PAGE OF YOUR BIOGRAPHY ON THIS ONE, WALLACE. WHAT'S GOING ON? REMEMBER, JUST BE HONEST WITH WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE AND YOU CAN'T GO WRONG. BUT IF YOU DO SPREAD YOURSELF TOO THIN THEN YOU'RE NOT REALLY SPREADING YOURSELF AT ALL. YOU CAN'T GIVE A PART OF YOURSELF TO EVERYONE YOU ENCOUNTER, SO DON'T TRY TO. AND DON'T EAT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD ABOUT THIS EITHER. STEP BACK, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GET ANOTHER ANGEL ON YOUR SITUATION, YOU USUALLY SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING A HANDLE ON THINGS ALL THE TIME. I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING, THAT'S WHY I CHEW THE ROLAIDS (I DON'T RECOMMEND). I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO WRITE, BUT I HAVE TO GO TO WORK. I'LL TRY AND CALL YOU, GIVE ME A CALL IF YOU WANT TO TALK AND YOU GET BACK LATE. I WORK UNTIL 9:OO TONIGHT. TAKE CARE AND DON'T FREAK OUT. ALL SEDIMENTS SETTLE WITH TIME, RUSSELL **from e-mail to me on 2.23.96 *selection updated 2.19.98 AHHHHH, WHAT'S UP YOU PURPLE PEOPLE EATER? I HAVE TWO KINDA DATES NEXT WEEK. AND THE ONE I'M REALLY AFTER IS NOT FAR FROM MY GRASP. HAVE A GOOD TIME THIS WEEKEND AND DON'T SETTLE FOR YOUR SECOND FAVORITE BEER (COORS [_____]) JUST BECAUSE YOUR CHOICE BEER (KILLIAN'S [_____]) IS OUT OF STOCK RIGHT NOW. KILLIANS IS AN IMPORT AND IT WILL EVENTUALLY MAKE IT TO THE STATES AND THEN YOU WILL ENJOY IT'S THICK RED FLAVOR AND BE GLAD YOU WAITED. ME ON THE OTHERHAND, I DRINK ABOUT ANYTHING I CAN GET MY HANDS ON, BUT I'M NOT LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A CHOICE BEER LIKE YOURSELF. THEY SAY YOU'VE DEFINITELY DECIDED YOUR FAVORITE BEER BY 23, SO WHO KNOWS MAYBE YOU AREN'T A KILLIAN'S FAN. DECIDE FOR YOURSELF, BUT BE CAREFUL NOT TO DO A KEG STAND JUST TO SATISFY YOUR NEEDS. OK I'LL STOP NOW. [edited for television] JEFF WILL BE UP THIS WEEKEND. I WILL TALK TO HIM ABOUT NEW ORLEANS. I WOULD LOVE TO GO. I'VE NEVER SEEN PHISH. ARE YOU COMING HOME FOR EASTER? I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL WHEN JEFF COMES UP. ARE YOU STILL MAD AT ME FOR TACKLING YOU IN THE BUSHES HERE AT MIAMI? I'M SCARED THAT THEY'RE AFTER ME. I'LL SEE YOU AT 5TH STREET AT 6:00 AM. DON'T BRING ANY- THING BUT A WALKMAN AND A LEASH. MAKE SURE THE LEASH HAS A CLIP THAT WORKS. NO DOG. WEAR SANDALS WITH BELLS ON THEM. AND DON'T SHAVE OR SHOWER ON THAT DAY. FRIENDLY HOUSES HAVE LOTS OF WINDOWS. RUSSELL MATTHEW BADGETT **from e-mail to me on 3.29.96 *selection updated 2.27.98 YOUR LUCKY THAT I PATHCHED THOSE POTHOLES ON THIS INCREDIBLE THING WE CALL THE SUPER HIGHWAY, YOUR MESSAGE SLID IN TO MY MAILBOX WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE. HOT BLONDE SITTING NEXT TO ME! AHHHHHH YAAAAA. THE GODS MUST BE BLESSING ME BECAUSE, BESIDES MY AUNT SANDY, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WRITES TO ME. DON'T GET ME WRONG OL' AUNT SANDY IS COOL AND ALL, BUT THE ONLY THING WE HAVE IN COMMON IS WE BOTH HAD RING WORM THIS SUMMER. NOT JOKING. ON PHONE- A-THON LAST NIGHT I TALKED TO AN '89 ALUMNI WHO WAS AT THE PEARL JAM CONCERT TOO. SHE GAVE ME $50 AND I TOLD HER YOUR TICKET LINE STORY, BUT I EMBELLISHED ABOUT YOUR BACK STAGE PASSES. SHE WAS IMPRESSED THOUGH. NO NEW NEWS SINCE I TALKED TO YOU LAST. [edited for television] I'M REAL EXCITED ABOUT NOTRE DAME AND I MIGHT BE TAKING THESE TWO HOT FRESHMAN I PICKED UP OFF THE RIDE BOARD. HOW SAD IS THAT? MARK YOU'RE AN IMPORTANT MAN NOW SO YOUR ACTIONS ALWAYS NEED TO REFLECT THAT OF GRANDEOUR. USE THE TOOLS THAT ALA HAS GIVING YOU. A HANGER HAS NO WORTH UNLESS YOU PLACE A COAT ON IT. KISSES TO ALL OF YOUR PINK PARTS. SKUNK WEED #2 RULES THE MINDS OF THOSE WHO SMOKE IT FOR WEEKS TO COME- SO BE CAREFUL. PEACE OUT! PATRICE. **from e-mail to me on Fall 96 (#1) *selection updated 3.3.98 the _____ was strong it almost got me, the ____ was thick it almost stung me, the red apples were harsh my lungs are paying. due you ever feel these pains my canadien pisser. if so, why are we still playing cards with the ones who beat us in that damn puking out of a burger king car while the fries were still fresh and salty euchre tournament at jay westerheide's house when i pissed in the closet and you saw yourself in jill's ballerina mirrors? if your following me than say, "ho!" didn't you fell shannon that night? if so say, "shaquille?" the ox walks slow, but the earth is patient. peace-- trey **from e-mail to me on Fall 96 (#2) *selection updated 3/19/1998 From me to Russ: I had a dream last night. It had the feel of my high school reunion but was really a mix of all the friends I've ever known. We were at a campground. (I don't know if it had a forecasted length, but I don't think we were going to be there for only a short time. Like it might have been without an itinerary too) I can remember being in the main lodge, but it not being very big. There were no people in charge, but later on I had the feeling that we didn't have to maintain the camp. The main lodge was bustling with people feeling in and out of place. Everyone trying to decide where and by who they wanted to sit. (Everyone basically knew everyone there) There was an open dirt area and underneath low ceilings, on both sides of the dirt area, were 5 or 6 rows of bleachers. It was not an organized gathering and I guess instructions might have been conveyed about things, but I don't know. The stands were for the most part filled and the dirt area was pretty crowded as well. Mostly everyone was trying to sit down and I sat on a folding, metal chair in a group of people I felt very cool with. Not superior cool, but at ease and happy. They were not anyone I could name. Someone, possibly Frank Hillenbrand, came over to say hi and I know (you know, it's a dream and you know things) he was thinking of how easily I sit with many different kinds of people. It made him think and want to change some things. From there we went out to stake our claim on sleeping quarters. I felt drunkenly happy; euphoric is probably the right term. (don't know why this made me so happy) We were in an abandoned bar-type place. Like a saloon. There was an empty, small, island bar towards the center of the room. And here I felt like we were carrying alcohol with us and getting into a festive mood. I realized my bladder was completely full and someone, someone I know, suggested the tall, white, 3/4-full w/trash kitchen trashcan that was in the island bar. It sounded fun to make the bottom of the garbage bag filled with urine. (I remember thinking it would even make the clean-up people laugh to pull it out of the can) (this is where I thought we didn't have to maintain the camp ourselves) Next, You and I were making our way to the bunk area that we wanted. The building was L-shaped, I think. The building was very long and bathrooms and showers were at the crux. We wanted the bunks just to the left of those facilities but not because of they were close to those facilities. We had been there before, a long time ago. We had a great time, one of those times you realize was wonderful long after its passed. We were not aware of our bond then, but what ever good time was had there is one that is looked upon as one of our friendship's cornerstones. But I think we were wrong. The area was very similar but something was very different about the wardrobe/closet thing. While discussing the room, we got fairly cashed. It made the scene seem very special again. This is where the dream gets strange and what made it memorable to someone with unsticky memory cells. Someone, possibly one of the cools that was chilling with me in the main lodge, was tagging along with us. He looked exactly like a too short Jerry Garcia. I have never seen Garcia in real life and very little footage besides brief scenes of him strumming and straining towards the mike. This person (he was not Jerry, I know) was incredibly detailed and vibrant. He was wearing a dark purple on black tie-dye and his hair and beard were dense and bushy. He was round but noticeably small in stature. I, and a giggling you, started wailing on him with pillows. Even though I didn't know this guy well, I was reasonably sure he would think us childishly beating his ass with pillows would be a welcome break from a normally cool and quiet demeanor. I was right, of course. (it was my dream) We then went out to Piqua Catholic's old playground. (You and I, not Jerry) We were, I think, telling a girl the story of us getting pretty cashed. They and I knew Matt Reilly (Jerry Garcia) was a great guy and we were talking about how good it is to get to see him again and screw around. Behind the girl, to my left, were a guy and girl facing each other and hanging out with their heads close together. I saw an amazing picture on the front of the kid's T-shirt. It was about a 7" by 6" gold, fancy, detailed picture frame with a crazy-angled photo of John Lennon and Yoko and I believe Lennon's butt-cheeks were in the foreground. It was so bright and colorful I immediately interrupted their conversation to tell them how cool it was. I said, "I love your T-shirt!" The Asian girl leans back and says, "Thank you very much!" The boy with serious chops and the O-shaped glasses leans back and gives me a look that lets me know that he realized I was talking to him and that he appreciates the compliment. I sternly say to the girl, "I was talking to him." Then I give her a big smile. She starts shaking and giggling in a terribly high-pitched voice and I realize the crazy characteristics they share with John and Yoko. The bizarreness of the "look-alike" theme wakes me and my Dad leaned in the door and told me to get in the shower. Please give me any feed-back that you can think of. And remember to use the coded Subject headings. I miss you all, Mark Does anyone know a Matt Reilly? **excerpt from e-mail from me to Russ in Fall, 1996 *selection updated 3/19/1998 [his response] MY GOOD FRIEND MARK. YOUR DREAM IS A MYSTERY TO ME. THERE ARE TO MANY ON AND EXIT RAMPS FOR ME TO FOLLOW IN A CLEAR AND CONCISE PATH. I WILL SAY THIS: YOUR REALLY FUCKED UP. NO, JUST KIDDING, I THINK THE CAMP YOU WERE AT WAS CALLED FORT SCOTT. BUT MAYBE IT WAS REALLY FORT SCOTT'S SON WITH A LITTLE D.N.A. OF A MOTHER CAMP CALLED "WALDON POND". I HOPE AS A PHILOSOPHY MINOR YOU'VE READ UP ON THIS SHIT. GOOD. THE PART ABOUT YOU PISSING IN THE TRASH CAN WAS FUNNY AND THE CLEANING WOMEN DID LAUGH THE NEXT DAY AS SHE PULLED IT OUT OF THE BIN. I CAN'T FIGURE OUT JERRY. HE WAS SMALLER BECAUSE HE CAN NEVER AGAIN BE AS BIG AS HE ONCE WAS WHEN HE WAS LIVING. BUT WHY DID HE JOURNEY WITH US. MAYBE BECAUSE WE ARE COOL AND HOLD SOME OF THE SAME THOUGHTS. THE SCENE WITH YOKO AND JON IS WIERD TOO. IT'S POSSIBLE THAT YOKO AND JON ______ _ ______ AND WENT TO KING'S ISLAND. THERE THEY HAD THEIR PICTURE CAPTURED ON VIDEO AND DIGITALLY PRINTED ONTO A T-SHIRT (YOU KNOW THE SHOP I'M SPEAKING OF). BUT I HIGHLY DOUBT IT. MY REAL OPINION OF YOUR DREAM IS THAT YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL SLEEP AND THE GODS OPENED THE FLOOD GATES TO YOUR MIND. AS THE WATERS FROM MANY STREAMS EMPTIED INTO YOUR MIGHTY MISSISSIPPI THE COLORS BLENDED LEAVING YOU WITH A VARIETY OF SILT, SAND, AND MUD. WHEN THE WATERS FINALLY SETTLED THEY FLOWED OFF INTO A WONDERFUL SUNSET OF LOVE AND MUSIC BY THE BEATLES. [edited for television] LATER, I'M OFF TO U.D. THE LAZURUS MAN **from e-mail to me in Fall 1996 (#3) |
