----- NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE -----
Season 1, Episode 5

Vamp: Grrrr!
Buffy: *STAKE*
Vamp: *POOF*
Buffy: Wow. That was almost too easy. I feel all hollow now.

Giles: A ring!
Buffy: And how exactly could you see such a tiny things in such tall grass?
Giles: Convenient camera angle, m'dear.

Buffy: Ooo! Cute guy alert!
Giles: I do hope she grows up.. and soon.
Buffy: He blinked! And look! He's breathing too! A guy who blinks and breathes!
Giles: Have I said yet this episode that the world is doomed?

Xander: Will... I need help with my Chemistry. And my Biology.
Willow: You do realize that in real American public High school it would be next to impossible to take both classes in the same year? Well, you could, but you'd have to be some sort of a major brainiac and, no offense here, but---
Xander: Would you stop poking plot holes and help me out here?!

Owen: Wanna go out on a date tonight?
Buffy: Y-y-ya-a-aaah... g-g-g---
Giles: Articulate girl, isn't she?

Buffy: Slaying sucks.
Xander: Actually, the VAMPIRES suck. You stop said sucking and--
Buffy: Xander! I'm depressed that I missed my date, and all you can do is sit around and crack jokes!
Xander: Well, what are friends for?

Master: Me bully. Me speak of evil prophecies to drive the season onward! Cower!
Vampires: Cower. Cower.
Master: More! At least give me an exclamation point or two!
Vamps: !!!!!!!!
Master: Sarcastic morons.

Giles: Ancient evil rising that could kill us all... and where's our sacred defender?
Xander: Grooving to the tunes of Velvet Chain at The Bronze.
Giles: Crap.

Vampires: Grrrrrr!
Giles: Crap.

Willow: Can you get out the window?
Giles: Judging from the wrought iron bars which are crisscrossing themselves over the window? I'd imagine---
Willow: Hey! I don't write these lines, buster! I just say 'em.

Angel: Buffy! I love you! I will forever pledge myself to protecting your--
Buffy: Uhhhh...
Angel: What? (pause) Rats! *flip, flip, flip* Wrong script?
Buffy: Wrong SEASON numbskull!

Giles: You three stay in this nice, safe, side room, and I shall...
Owen: Wow. Lookit that. A walking corpse with really, really long teeth!
Buffy: Wrong room!
Giles: Crap.

Vamp: Judgement day hath come and my Lord doth--
Buffy: Evangelist vampire. Hmm. This is new.

Xander: Giles! Say something that'll stop him!
Vamp: GRRRRRAHHH!
Giles: Oh crap.
Xander: Thanks, Brit-boy. Real inspirational.

Willow: Vampire staked!!
Xander: Angel's at home looking through his script.
Buffy: Owen actually wants to go out with me again some time.
Giles: Crap.
Willow: Something wrong?
Giles: Hmm? Oh, nothing actually. Just seemed appropriate since--
Buffy: That's all you've been saying all episode anyway.

Xander: Where'd Giles learn such naughty words anyway?
Willow: (glares) I have NO idea.
Xander: What? (sighs) Crap.

(The little Grr! Argh! Demon bounces across the screen)

back ------ to Buffy Fiver page ------ next