All Content © 1997, 1998 Jared O'Connor and Michael Baker

Jared's Pick - Album Reviews: MOVIES


Simon Birch
Depending on your personality, you'll either think Simon Birch is an endearing portrayal of two misfits or a shamelessly manipulative tear-jerker. After digesting the movie for a day or two, I'm leaning slightly towards the latter.

Simon is a midget, a stunted 12 year old who deals with his handicap by way of his precocious intelligence and unshakable faith that God has made him "special" because he is destined to be a hero. Simon Birch is the kind of movie which lets you know that by the end of the film, he will be. Simon's best friend Joe is the small town's other misfit, a boy whose father is a mystery to everyone in the town. The bastard and the midget share their outsider status, their friendship, and even Joe's mom - Simon's parents are disgusted and repelled by him, so Joe's mother becomes a sort of surrogate parent.

Because the movie is told in flashback (Jim Carrey plays the adult Joe in a cameo and voiceover), we learn within the first five minutes that Simon accidentally kills Joe's mother. Rather than let the plot unfold, we are unsurprised when a foul ball hit by Simon strikes Joe's mother in the head. And because we already know she dies, we are spared any sort of realism - the coach runs over, checks her pulse and pronounces her dead on the spot. No calls for an ambulance are necessary, because the screenplay needs her out of the way for Simon to question his faith. You get the idea.

This sort of blatant emotional manipulation is the movie's worst flaw. I began to lose patience with its obvious plot devices and sentimentality, but others may not. You don't criticize a Schwarzenegger film for having stupid dialogue, that's what you expect - hell, that's what you pay for. Simon Birch is overtly sentimental and wants to make you cry. If that's what you're in the mood for, it can be a cute, enjoyable ride.

The best parts of the film are the moments of comedy that come from Simon and Joe's silliness. After all, these kids are 12 (though act a bit older), and Simon's intelligence and raging hormones make for some good laughs, as when he stands up in church and questions the priest for asking God's help with the church bake sale, or when he tells Joe that his mom has "the best breasts of all the mothers".

When the boys are acting like boys, the movie hits its stride. Kids in particular will get a kick out of Simon's rebel attitude toward authority and breast jokes, although there's some unnecessary profanity that bumps the rating to a PG-13. They might even like the cloying "it's OK to be different" theme, although if there are smart as Simon, they'll probably see through it.

With enough lighthearted scenes to carry it through the rough spots, a few moments of genuine emotion and solid performances by Ashley Judd as the mom and Oliver Platt as her boyfriend, Simon Birch is overall a decent film. It didn't pull at my heartstrings as much as it obviously wanted to, but then, I'm a callous bastard. More tender sensibilities will probably find Simon Birch a sweet story with memorable characters.

- Jared O'Connor


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All Content © 1997, 1998 Jared O'Connor and Michael Baker