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12. me in honey

I sat there looking ugly
Looking ugly and mean
I knew what you were saying
You were saying to me
- "me in honey", R.E.M.

i knew what i was thinking when i quoted this, but it's been a long time since i felt like commiting an explantion to words. looking back on how things in my life have changed since i started the pillowbook, how i have changed, makes some things i've said previously look backwards. but that's not so, and part of looking at yourself in the mirror time after time means accepting that you're changing constantly.
it's been a while since i read nagiko's book, and i wanted to make the same mischievious comments about my grand life and all my lovers like she did. the truth is, the cooking aromas drifted away before i realized i should have recorded the recipe. i take too much for granted.. or maybe i'm just not ready to share my secrets yet.