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This page is devoted to the idea that babies need our loving attention at all times, not just on a schedule. It is also about older children needing our support and love even when they are acting up, cranky, or outright disobediant. No, I am not saying not to discipline, but to do it in love, not anger.

What is Gentle Mothering?

Gentle Mothering and the more common term Attachment Parenting are essentially the same. I personally prefer the term Gentle Mothering because I think too many people associate Attachment Parenting with infants only. Our children don't stop needing our undivided love after they are eating solid foods! We remain their mothers all their lives!

Yes, Gentle Mothering is a sexist term, but that is the way God created the family. Mothers are the primary caregiver. In the Bible God uses illustrations of motherhood to show His love and caring for us. See Isaiah 66:10-13. The Bible also shows us how God forgives and provides for us through illustrations of fatherhood. To me this reaffirms what I think all mothers instinctively know: mothers are the comforters and nurturers while fathers are the leaders. Our society has made great strides in social and political equality between men and women, but those ideas should not be applied to a family. Men and women were made different for a reason, to take on a specific role in the family. See Ephesians 5:21-6:4. Men and women, fathers and mothers are equals before God, but with differing purposes within a family. Note also that the Fifth Commandment specifically states that both mothers and fathers are to be honored by children.

Am I saying that fathers don't need to help with changing diapers or doing dishes? Or that they cannot comfort their child? NO! Fathers need to bond with their children and show their love too. If children do not know that their fathers love and cherish them, then it is impossible for the father to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord," (Ephesians 6:4). Children learn by imitation and example so fathers need to show respect for their wives by helping them. This teaches the children to respect their mother, just as father does. That is why wives need to show respect for their husbands also.

Arose A Mother!

My parents named me Deborah for the biblical Deborah in the book of Judges. She was a strong woman and leader of her people and my mother has always made sure I knew her story. Being an attorney herself, my mother encouraged me to be strong and I suppose she thought I would go even further in the world than she has; becoming an attorney too, or perhaps even being a leader of the people like the biblical Deborah. The story of Deborah has a different meaning for me however. If you are not familiar with it, you can read the story yourself in Judges 4.

After the defeat of Sisera, Barak and Deborah sing a victory song, recorded inJudges 5. The most powerful part of the whole story I think comes in the seventh verse when Deborah says "Village life in Israel ceased, ceased until I, Deborah, arose, arose a mother in Israel." She is a MOTHER! Rejoice all mothers everywhere in this! Does Deborah describe herself as a leader? Prophetess? Judge? She was all these things, but she describes herself as a mother. Despite all the great things God did through her, in her mind the greatest was being a mother. Keep this in mind the next time the world has gotten you down. It doesn't matter how the world sees you, God has blessed you with motherhood and even Deborah, one of the greatest women in history, thought that was more important than worldly accomplishments.

The Trapped Babies

On the sidelines of any playground you will find the benches of mothers chatting and occasionally calling out to their kids out on the playground. Next to many of these mothers are crawling and toddling age babies trapped in their stollers, some trying desperately to get out and play with their older siblings. Even more sad than the ones trying to get out are the ones who just sit listless, usually with a bottle stuck in their mouths, just watching. I have done my share of playground gossiping, but I have never forced my children to sit when they could be exploring. Yeah, I have to be vigilant and keep the wood chips out of a baby's mouth, hold the hands of a prewalker, or shuffle behind a crawler that wants to see what's on the other side of the slide, but how happy it makes a baby! Simply because a baby is outdoors doesn't mean it has to be bundled up and kept away from all possible contact with anything natural! Let your child chew on a stick, see what grass tastes like or burrow a hand into the sand. If your yard or playground has poisonous plants, pesticides or sharp objects in the sand, then either clean it up or go to some other place. But let your children, especially babies, have the chance to explore the REAL world. Plastic toys that chirp like crickets or have cartoonish smiling bugs on them are just no substitute!!

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Gentle Mothering and Attachment Parenting Sites

Kathy's Place
Kidz are People Too
BestFed.com
Parenting Babies & Toddlers (there is an attatchment parenting section)

Sites with Information on Breastfeeding and/or Cloth Diapering

My Tightwad Page featuring "How to Wash Cloth Diapers"
La Leche League
Kathy's Place
Kidz are People Too
Donna's Cloth Diaper Methods
Breastfeeding: It's So Easy
Motherwear-nursing clothes and even matching baby outfits!

General Christian Parenting Sites

Focus on the Family
Above Rubies
National Center for Fathering

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