I
Am
Your
Masterpiece
My
dear
mother
Like
a
soft
new
petal
on
the
flower
you
gave
me
life
from
within
you. I
know
you
would
be
proud
of
me
now
mom,
because
I've
accomplished
many
of
my
goals.
Remember
when
you
spoke
with
me
in
my
freedom
dream
in
1993,
you
told
me
very
soon
I
would
hold
the
keys
to
the
other
worlds.
Well
Mom,
I
now
own
these
very
keys.
Ten
years
later
and
they
are
mine
forever.
Thank
you
for
telling
me
you
loved
me
and
that
I
am
your
beautiful
daughter.
I
long
for
the
day
when
we
two
can
be
one
again
and
you
can
hold
me
in
your
arms
and
tell
me
you
love
me.
Yes
Mom,
there
is
still
a
little
girl
inside
me
who
is
hurting
badly
ever
since
you
left
me.
I
didn't
think
I could
get
through
it,
but
somehow
I
did.
And
now
Mom,
three,
Yes,
3,
of
my
family
have
taken
their
lives.
Sister
took
hers
on
the
anniversary month
of
your
death,
March
1999,
and
sadly
to
say,
your
dear
son
and
my
dear
brother
took
his
life
in
July
2000.
But
Mom,
I've
risen
above
the
pain
and
the
anguish
and
I've
passed
the
help
out
to
others
when
I
was
able
to.
I
now
make
pages
for
families
who
lose
their
dear
children
and
it
is
very
healing
work.
I
never
dreamed
I'd
be
doing
this
Mom,
and
I
never
dreamed
I'd
be
an
"expert"
on
suicide
in the
family.
But
one
other
thing
I
am
an
expert
at
is
the
fact
that
I
will
not
take
my
life
like
you,
sis
or
bro
did.
I
will
stay
until
it's
my
time
to
go.
I
have
2
grown
sons
and
even
though
I
did
not
have
good
mothering
skills
in
the
beginning,
I
learned
and
sought
help
and
advice
from
people
who
could
support
and
teach
me
in
my
quest
for
being
a
better
parent
than
you were
to
me.
I
do
know
there
were
many
strings
attached
to
your
life
and
the
way
you
chose
to
live
it;
esp.
with
all
the
violence
and
alcohol
and
dysfunction.
But
Mom,
you
did
the
best
you
could
under
the
circumstances
and
I
did
the
best
I
could
under
the
circumstances.
And...now
I
know
my
sons
will
make
better
parents
than
you
or
I
were.
I
stopped
the
cycle
of
abuse
Mom;
I
went
on
in
silence
for
many
years.
I
entered
Recovery
and
stopped
drinking
and looked
after
my
sons.
Now
I
am
on
a Spiritual
Quest
to
find
out
how
I
can
be
the person
to
finally
forgive
myself
of
my
poor
decisions
and
choices
I
made
in
my
life.
My
main
guilt
is
over
my
oldest
son;
he
no
longer
speaks
with
me
since
bro's
suicide
in
2000.
It
breaks
my
heart
Mom,
I
need
to
see
him
so badly
and
yet
I
cannot.
He
is
as
dead
as
you
are
because
he
says
he
doesn't
want
anything
to
do
with
any
of
us
who
are
left.
When
sis
and
bro
took
their
lives,
they
devastated
him.
He
was
very
close
to
them,
esp.
his
Auntie.
All
of
a
sudden,
he
is
totally
abandoned
by
the
only
ones
he
trusted
in
the
world.
I
hope
and
pray
one
day
soon
he
will
return
to
me
like
the
Prodigal
Son
did.
My
other
son
got
married
recently
to
a
lady
he
loves
dearly
and
I
am
very
happy
for
them.
Well
Mom,
that
about
sums
it
up
for
this
year.
I'm
anxious
to
see
where
I'll
be
next
year
at
this
time. You
know
my
heart's
only
desire,
and
I
ask
for
your
help
with
it.
I
am
working
on
it
and
I
am
happier
now
than
I
have
ever
been
in
my
life.
Please
help
me
work
it
out.
I
know
you
know
how
dedicated
I
am
to
this
project.
I
love
you
Mom
and
I
miss
you
more
than
words
can
say.
But,
I
still
have
you
in
my
dreams
so
keep
them
coming!
Until
March
7,
2004,
Mom,
I
love
you
and
miss
you
still.
I
long
for
your
touch,
your
gentle
embrace
telling
me
I
am
your
beautiful
daughter.
Please
help
me
be
as
helpful
to
others
as
I
can
be.
Help
them
to
find
me
so
I
can
help
them.
The
one
thing
that
keeps
me
going
is
knowing
that
one
day
we'll
be
together
again.
I
forgive
you
Mom
for
leaving
me.
I
now
understand
so
much
more
as
an
adult.
I
bought
several
special
candles
to light
on
your
day,
March
7,
2003.
And, some
friends
are going
to
light
candles
too.
One
is
in
Florida.
One
is
in
Arizona.
You
know
her.
I
call
her
Mom.
I'm
flying
down
to
visit
them
next
year.
Help
me
to
bloom
where
I
am
planted.
Help
me
use
my
full
potential
for
the
good
of
humanity.
Let
me
come
out
from
beneath
the
covers
and
really
show
others
who
I
really
am.
Help
me
to
stop
hiding.
Just
wait
for
me
please.
I'll
see
you
when
it's
my
time.
Much
Love,
Your
Loving
Daughter
Angela
xoxo
March
9,
2003
Addendum
Well
Mom,
I
made
it
through
the
day
much
better
than
I
expected.
Your
candle
was
lit
and
I
spoke
to
you
and
felt
real
peace
afterwards.
Thank
you
for
helping
me
through
a
hard
time
and
thank
you
for
the
peace
in
my
heart.
Love
Angela
xoxo
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