Surviving Argentina

By: SyrupPixie

"Wow coach, who knew kids from Argentina could play hockey,"exclaimed Larry, a regular at the rink's snack bar.

"Bite me, Larry," replied Ted Orien. Larry's teasing never usually bothered anyone, but today Coach Orien had had just about enough of everyone's criticism. The city's hockey programme had made it mandatory to participate in an International team exchange and the coaches got to pick the home country of the visiting team. After a particularly bad season he thought it would be a boost to play against someone less challenging. He had naturally assumed that since Argentina was famous for soccer they couldn't possibly be good at hockey too. Boy was he wrong. "Ouch," said Larry as both Connie and Guy got comnpletly crushed against the boards by a huge kid on the Argentina team. The ref skated by and shot Orien a look that said "you sure know how to pick ‘em coach." He knew something would have to be done.

"We can't beat them no matter what!" Charlie exclaimed to the coach as the team rushed into the dressing room.

"Alright, alright, what seems to be the problem....we used to be so good...what's different about this season?" He looked around to see a bunch of tired looking kids. Not at all the energetic team he used to know. The kids all looked around in bewilderment. They suggested different ideas to each other...Not enough ice time? Not enough people to have a third line? Were there skates not sharp enough?..... "You all need more carbs in your rice,"said a rugged voice. They looked around to see who had spoken and sure enough out of the shadows of the dressing area they could clearly see Rudy from Survivor....unmistakable in those swimming shorts. "And you need to work together...close together...especially you guys...but not in a homosexual way of course..."

"How did you get here"? Coach asked in disbelief. Just then a team hailing from a small island in the South China sea burst into the room. "Where is he"! "We'll teach that man to be a stow away on our trip!"

"Hey you American man," they said to Orien, "have you seen an older American man in swimming suit?"

"He's right here!" Charlie said, but looking over to the corner saw that Rudy had mysteriously disappeared.

"Hmmmm...after letting go of that pole I guess he was pretty desperate to get off that island as quick as he could,"Charlie thought to himself. On his way home all he could think about was rice, how it would help them win and how Rudy really did seem to get along well with Rich. But of course...not in a homosexual way.

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