Do you remember the last time you woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep because you were thinking too much? Not of bills, or if your kid's school was giving her all she deserves, or if you cooked healthy enough meals. But of possibilities. Of the desire to have a simple life, but keep your beautiful dust collectors. Attempting to balance a schedule that gives me time to do everything with the desire to be a free wheeler. The desire to absorb and read everything with the needs to be a present mother. I haven't felt so like I could choose anything in a long time. But here I am at 2 am, dressed, with a cup of coffee, thinking about that schedule I worked out, trying to decide if doing yoga at noon while Sophie eats in her high chair will really make my life better. Probably. Whether cooking a whole grain food with every meal will cure my hemmohroids (did I say too much?) and help us all be healthier. Probably. Whether drinking a gallon of water a day will make me feel more energized. Yep. It's comforting to know that I can choose to do such small things, and that they might actually do something good in my life. I'm choosing right now to start deciding from now on. Even if I decide to scrap the schedule, I'll still not be in the limbo of knowing I could take charge and not doing it. I'm tired of indecision and anger. Things are going my way now.