The week went by slowly. Dorin had thought long and hard about the appearance of hanson, thinking maybe it was just that kids way of being a smart ass.
More likely though, he thought how true it could be. It was now Coming on April. The end of March had proven a scrape, a tough time for their family. They could deal with it, that was
no problem. It was just the anxiety of it all.
The entry forms had been sent. They had long ago sent it in, with a check for exactly $500. Everything was set. They had a hotel room on the 6th floor of the Denver hotel, not far from the colseum, where the performances
would take place. The room had 2 beds, Mey would be sleeping with Zac, and Dorin and Jeremy would be sleeping in the other. It had cable, room service, a heated pool. Things that 500 dollars did not usually pay for.
Zac saw it as more of a vacation. He knew that the rest of his family wanted more from it, but he just wanted to have fun. He liked playing, he liked playing for people. It would be a good time.
Mercy had been eager since the day the entry form had gone out. It had been about 3 weeks, but still. They had gotten information, resteraunt, times, warm up times, places, everything. It was truely a once in a life time thing. This would make or
break them.
Jeremy was to the point where he almost didn't care. He figured that this whole thing had cause a lot of up roar, too much. He wished it would be over with, although, he admitted often enough to himself he wouldn't not have fun with it.
Dorin was hoping for something to grab onto. He didn't want to push any of his family away from him, hell, they were all he had. He was glad that at one point, he had decided to set the money aside, he was proud, of the fact that he did it, and the fact that
his family was anxious and ready for these three days.
It was a long since awaited opportunity.
"I don't know. I mean, I guess I have to sit back and think, to actually realize this is real."
Mercy and Jem sat on the front porch. It was now sunday morning. Four days before they were scheduled to climb in their space cab, and make the, nearly 700 mile drive to Denver.
"I would have liked to work on those songs a little more."
Jem nodded. They did have The amount of songs needed, written and ready, and they had practiced their covers for ever. Until they hit perfection. By that time, they were pretty damn good.
"I think so too. But we'll do okay."
"As of March 15th, they had 157 entries. Us included. That's a lot of people jem."
"Remember when we used to say, 'there are so many people out there with musical talent, but only a select few will be chosen for the manner in which they display it. Do you remember. We got it out of some magazine."
"Yeah. But do we portray the music in the way we want to?"
Jeremy sat in thought. He used to think that it was all a game. Some hobby that their family had, it wsa fun, but would not lead them anywhere important. Zac was always a controlling factor. The fact that there had been no
communication made things somewhat difficult. Even now though, as far as Jeremy could tell, Zac had already made it obvious he would not be outspoken if, indeed they did get somewhere.
Where would that lead? Would it go to hell again? Or were they going to be like some brought together band, the absolute picture of perfection.
"I think we do Mey, we put it, not only the way we want it, but the way everyone else wants it too."
Mercy sighed. Her growing eagerness had been too much to handle over the weeks. The thought of this thing was more like an adventure. A really cool adventure she wouldn't forget.
"I just hope we do well enough for something to happen. I'm not saying to like, get noticed as a musical group, but just for things to change."
"Mey, can you honestly say that you want things to change from the way they are now? Of course I wouldn't mind varrying changes, something that would change almost nothing in my life, but I'm content."
"I'm not saying I'm not content Jem. I'm just saying I wish things would change for once. In stead of having to scrape together money for food, or, spending 40 dollars worth at the freakin laundry-mat. I'm just sick of that. I want to live
in a house, not an appartment, I want to be able to have a shower that doesn't run out of hot water if someone took one before you. I want a homey house, and a light blue bathroom, and I want a tan carpet."
Mercy laughed.
"Now I'm starting to sound like 'susie homebaker'."
Jeremy cocked his head to one side.
"Naw, you don't sound like that, I can understand where your comin' from."
The two sat in silence. Birds around them chirped, few cars drove by. It was a quiet peacful morning.
"So Zac, are you gonna be like, the total right on drummer."
Zac rolled his eyes.
"I already am man. Duh."
Mercy giggled.
"Before anyone says anything, I call the bed next to the window."
Dorrin looked at her strange.
"Why? So you can see Denver smog instead of Tulsa smog?"
They all laughed.
The evening ended in television. Just watching some shows that were on saturday, comedys, what not. Dorrin had been going to bed unusually early lately.
Maybe because of the upcoming show. He had succesfully gotten the entry fomr in, ahead of schedule, and he had obviously been happy about that fact. Not only that, but after wards,
He had saved enough money up to repair some of their instruments, and have a stash set aside for fun. He was planning on a vacation. That's the least he wanted from it, just for them to have a good time.
He didn't know how many times he had to tell the rest of his family that, but he was sure that he had driven it home.
Jeremy was next off to bed. He, had for once gotten everything ready for school, before bed, and was utterly tired.
Zac and Mercy stayed up late. Until at least 11 at night. They didn't talk much, or until it was bedtime.
"Mey."
Mey was standing, stretching, and almost ready to go to bed. She looked at Zac.
"yeah."
"Have you ever felt like you could care less what happens."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, I just feel almost useless, and so to me, it really doesn't matter."
Mercy paused. She sat back down next to her brother.
"Zac, you aren't useless. Why do you think that?"
Zac took a deep breath. His eyes fixed on his hands.
"Mey, I just get this feeling in the pit of my stomach whenver you talk about music. Whenever you guys sit down and make these desicions, I feel like you don't need me. That's why I end up disappearing, I don't think I'm that important."
Mercy sighed.
"If you weren't important Zac, then we would have let everything in the past couple years, hell, the last couple months slide right by. If you didn't mean something to our family, and on top of that, this band, then we couldn't possibly take the time to care what yo uthink,
notice you, or even ask you opinions."
Zac sat still. His thoughts were cramming around in his head. He didn't respond.
"Zac, is there something that you want to say? I have those kind of times, where I want to say something but I can't."
Zac shook his head.
"It's not the same when you do it though. You can at least tell everyone who'll listen about it. I don't know, I just can't do that."
"Why can't you do that? I'm listening to you aren't I?"
"No, I know you're listening, but it's not that easy."
"Tell me Zac, man, I'm listening, and I promise, if you don't want me to, then I won't say a word."
Zac looked at her.
"How much longer do you want to stay up?"
She sat back.
"That bad huh."
He nodded.
"Psst. Zac. you up?"
Zac lifted his head.
"I have been for a half hour."
She smiled.
"Want some pancakes?"
Zac sat up.
"I'll be there in a sec."
Mercy left the room. Contemplating whether or not to bring up last night's discussion. Zac had let pour. Anything and everything that he thought about, felt about.
It was a completely different Zac than she had seen before.
Zac came into the kitchen.
"Do you do this every morning?"
He giggled. He seemed to be the same kid, if not cheerier. Maybe that stuff he had told her had lifted a weight off his back.
"Nope. Kid, this is just one of those 'I feel ambitious' mornings."
He sat down. She slid a plate in front of him.
"Yum."
She sat down in the chair next to him. Watching him eat.
"Zac."
he looked up from his steady eating.
"I don't like that look. What."
"I was just thinking. If all that stuff you said last night was true, and all that really happened. How come you never got mad at him?"
Zac sat deep in thought. He took another bite.
"I have no idea. Although, maybe that's a bad sign. I mean, what happens if all that stuff shows itself when I have kids."
Mercy shook her head.
"I don't think you would do that."
He smiled.
"I hope not."
Mercy stood up again.
"I'm sorry."
He looked up at her.
"Why? It has nothing whatsoever to do with you. It wasn't your fault."
"I feel like it was."
Zac sat still for a minute.
"Believe me. It's not. You didn't make him do any of it, not your fault."
Mercy could not help thinking otherwise.
He had told her of mornings where he could remember their step father, come home drunk after a night at some sleeze bar, and had grabbed his mother and pushed her to the bedroom.
Of course he was too young to realize all that went on then, but now it was a sudden slap. It was not all great. The second he would walk in the door he would start whining and complaining about
the house not being clean, or how it was her responsibility to keep it so. He seemed to have no compassion, none at all. Zac had whitnessed most of the abuse to their mother, before she had died,
the nights where their step father would come home and not leave her alone until she was sobbing on the kitchen floor.
Their step father always had something to complain about. The kids were always the problem, and the kids were a problem because of bad managment on their mothers part.
Their mother had pushed them out of the door, one, so as they did not take anything that their father gave out, they wouldn't have to deal with it, and two, so they didn't see what went on within the Dentra walls.
Zac took a lot of it for his siblings. Not meaning, because they weren't there, but, he simply said he was the one to blame.
Mercy now realized her kid brother had more guts than a lot of people she knew.
"Hey Mercy, do you understand?"
She looked up, quite startled."
"What, sorry."
Mr. Stegmeire laughed.
"Okay, do you understand this stuff?"
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do."
The whole class giggled.
"Mey, can I see you after class?"
"Uh, you can, but I don't know if I want to."
He raised one eyebrow.
"I mean, yup, I'll see you then."
Mercy's head dropped to the desk. Just great.
"I hate school."
Mercy walked over, slammed her lunch on the table and sat down scowling.
"Hoookay, he he he, whats the matter with you?"
"Mr. Stegmeire is insistent that I stop 'day dreaming' in class. I don't day dream Jem, no I don't."
Jeremy smiled. Okay he thought, What on earth would she dream about?
She turned and sat, both legs under the table. She pulled out a foiled package and unwrapped it.
"So then, Mey, what are you dreaming about?"
"I wasn't dreaming about anything, I was thinking, important stuff, the scientific table of elements does not prove as 'important' in my book."
"Maybe your book is outdated."
She scowled at him and bit into her sandwich.
"hey mey, I don't mean to like, interupt your eating or anything, buttttt."
"What now."
"Well, remember how Zac came home and told us about the hanson thing."
"Oh Jem, you seem to forget, I was the center of attention."
He smiled.
"Well I was thinking. We have a lot of people that go to our shows, what if we could find that kid's brother, and see if it's true."
Mercy looked at him disapprovingly.
"Oh, I can just see it, walk up to every kid in this school, strike a pose for him and say, 'Hi, did you see this body the other night?'. Yeah, keep thinking."
"Reeeeerrrr. He he he. I was just thinking."
"There you go thinking again Jem. Does it hurt?"
They both laughed.
"What are you two laughing about?"
Dorin came and sat down.
"Oh, just my thinking abilities."
"yup, something to laugh about."
"So how's school today Door?"
"Crappy, I'm sick of waiting. We have 2 days, starting tommorow, and then we leave, what's the point in going to school anyway?"
"Good question buddie, good question."
The three sat next to eachother for the whole lunch. Talking lightly about the show, about homework they would have, and about hanson. To Mercy's dislike of course.
The last bell of the day rang, and almost in unison, the four walked out of their last class, walked to their lockers, grabbed their homework, and went outside, hearts thumping, and greatly eager to get the show on the road. No pun intended.
"So, Jem, what do you think?"
At dinner the family sat around the kitchen table, something that, did not frequently happen. Chattering about the weekend, and then the weekend to come, only ended up in giddieness, and
excitement.
Monday had started slowly, Mercy had awakened quite early, and she could be heard in the kitchen. She wakled down the hallway into Zac's room.
Mercy had gone to school silent. Zac's reassurance and conversation last night had caused her some distress.
Jeremy sat down at a table, waiting for his friends, and his siblings.
That thursday, it seemed, to all four of the Dentra kids that the clock had come to a complete stop. It wasn't moving, just torturing them. Every time the bell did ring, it just reminded them of how much closer they
were to Going to denver. To performing in front of agents, and representors of big name recording companies. They were excited.
