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Sexual Abuse - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
"Silence,...is but a hold on your soul...by the demons"
We just have to keep talking!!

Current Sexual Abuse in the News

Every year in this country, two million children are brutally beaten or sexually abused.

340,000 new cases were reported in 1989 (U.S. Advisory Board, April, 1991). Of these abused children, 3,000 to 5,000 die every year. In New York State alone, 200 bodies of sexually and physically abused children are found each year and not even identified. These are the ultimate victims.

(62,939 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in 2012).

Child Sexual Abuse:

Child rape occurs every two minutes
1 in 3 girls will be sexually molested before the age 17
1 in 6 boys will be sexually molested before the age 17 (1 in 5 in Canada)
A sex offender will molest an average of 120 victims, most of whom do not report it
90% of molesters abuse children they know
Oftentimes, a sexually abused child is abused in other ways

Children who are neglected or sexually abused are known to have lower IQs and an increased risk of depression, suicide and drug problems. Abused children are 53% more likely to be arrested as juveniles, and 38% more likely to be arrested for a violent crime. During preschool years, abused children are more likely to get angry, refuse direction from teachers, and lack enthusiasm. By the time they reach grade school, they are more prone to being easily distracted, lacking in self-control, and not well-liked by peers.

Reported incidents of child sexual abuse are markedly on the rise. What is especially shocking is the fact that these reports represent only a small portion of actual occurrences of sexual abuse. Incest affects individuals and families regardless of class, income, profession, religion or race. The statistics are truly alarming. It is currently estimated that one-third of all children are sexually abused before the age of 18. This includes 40% of all females and 30% of all males. The vast majority of these reports involve very young children, below age seven.


Defining Incest

Incest was traditionally defined as sex between close relatives. But incest is, above all, abuse; abuse by the very person(s) entrusted with the child's care. Incest is "any use of a minor child to meet the sexual or sexual/emotional needs of one or more persons whose authority is derived through ongoing emotional bonding with that child."

Incest is especially common in alcoholic families, where judgment and boundaries are impaired. If the perpetrator always commits the act while under the influence of alcohol or some other substance, (s)he may have no memory of the events. Victims also may or may not remember. The trauma may be so severe that part or all of the abuse is blocked from conscious memory. This may continue for many years until something triggers a "flashback," although the effects of the abuse, emotionally or behaviorally, continue all along. The protective role of such blocking must be explained to patients who may, in fact, experience increasing flashbacks as treatment continues.

How to Talk to Victims of Sexual Abuse

The below banners are links to websites with a lot of information about abuse.
Just click on the picture or link and you will be taken there.

of a apa

of healthychild

Child sexual abuse has been reported up to 80,000 times a year, but the number of unreported instances is far greater, because the children are afraid to tell anyone what has happened, and the legal procedure for validating an episode is difficult. The problem should be identified, the abuse stopped, and the child should receive professional help. The long-term emotional and psychological damage of sexual abuse can be devastating to the child.

More than 70% of abusers are immediate family members or someone very close to the family. Remember - bad guys don't always look bad; they're often the people we love. When sexual abuse has occurred, a child can develop a variety of distressing feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Some people believe the abuser is always hated. Instead, the victim often loves and protects the perpetrator. Some children feel "special" about the abuse. It may be the only attention or physical contact they're getting. Because of this, some survivors even into adulthood will deal with the abuse by minimizing it. Thus, they make the abuser and the events "OK", to make it feel like they're okay. An additional myth is that only females are sexually abused. In fact, 30% of all male children are molested in some way, compared to 40% of females.

Sexually abused children may also develop the following: unusual interest in or avoidance of all things of a sexual nature sleep problems or nightmares depression or withdrawal from friends or family seductiveness statements that their bodies are dirty or damaged, or fear that there is something wrong with them in the genital area refusal to go to school delinquency/conduct problems secretiveness aspects of sexual molestation in drawings, games, fantasies unusual aggressiveness, or suicidal behavior

No child is psychologically prepared to cope with repeated sexual stimulation. Even a two or three year old, who cannot know the sexual activity is wrong, will develop problems resulting from the inability to cope with the overstimulation.

The child of five or older who knows and cares for the abuser becomes trapped between affection or loyalty for the person, and the sense that the sexual activities are terribly wrong. If the child tries to break away from the sexual relationship, the abuser may threaten the child with violence or loss of love. When sexual abuse occurs within the family, the child may fear the anger, jealousy or shame of other family members, or be afraid the family will break up if the secret is told.

A child who is the victim of prolonged sexual abuse usually develops low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and an abnormal or distorted view of sex. The child may become withdrawn and mistrustful of adults, and can become suicidal.

Sexual Abuse: Surviving the Pain
Child Abuse in the News
Child Abuse Statisics
Myths & Facts about Sexually Abused Boys
Excellent Website on Sexual Abuse for boys - 1in6.org
Tyler Perry, Oprah Talk Sexual Abuse: Who Victimized Little Tyler?

A Personal Note from Me

I urge everyone to please get help if you've been abused. I lost a very dear friend to suicide because he was beaten and sexually abused by his father (the minister of their church) for years...when he was 11 and 12 years old along with his brother. He lost his innocence and then took his life. I miss him terribly every day.

"Somewhere inside every person
someplace inside every heart
Is a power that turns fear into courage
and makes dreams take flight".....Radio Flyer