Singlehood

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How does it feel to be single? It depends on the individual, but for me:

-lonely at times
-feel free at times
-more to do things on your own at times

These are just some thoughts I feel being "single", but the way I personally see it from what I've heard or read Biblically-it's an awesome "season" in my life to grow personally with God!

Yes, I can grow with God when I get married too, but it's not the same (according to speakers I've heard so far).

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am."-1 Corinthians 7:8

*Please don't take this verse literally, but look at the whole context of the Bible (e.g. Genesis 2 on "not good for a man to be alone)

There are times that I say to myself "I'm glad I'm not married" because there are some issues in my life I need to workout before I get married. I wouldn't want my future wife to go through what I'm currently struggling with. I want to be "ready" in God's timing, so I won't go through as much struggels we in society see in marriages.

Widows

Are you divorced? Are you single and have kids? Have a boyfriend or girlfiend and have a kid together? Well, the Bible mentions you a lot!

4But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.-1 Timothy 3

More related verses (search "widows" Bible Search

I was watching the music video called "Irene" by Toby Mac and the video shows a young lady that has a kid. The video starts with her boyfriend getting an argument with her. From there, she takes her baby in a stroller through their (Latino?) community as Toby sings. At the end, she meets her boyfriend with a gift. The song encourages young "Irene" to not give-up despite her circumstances as the Lord is watching her and will take care of her. Cool huh? Give it up to Him no matter what your circumstances are in your relationship.

Last night you had a dream you was the homecoming queen
Today you're 18, happy birthday Irene
quit school you had to drop out to raise your little child
Doesn't seem to be anyone around
You've got to reach up to touch rock bottom
The powers that be keep you downtrodden
Daughter of Zion, I heard you prayer
Just cast your cares and please beware of snakes
They come in all shapes and sizes
Tempt you, put scales on your eye lids
Don't waste your sorrows
They'll give you strength tomorrow...tomorrow
Your Calvary's about to come so
Keep your head up, don't you ever let up
This storm will pass you'll be ready for the next one

more...from "anysonglyrics"

Preperation

As a single-male Christian, I can give this personal advice to single people out there. Don’t be in a hurry because God is just preparing you for the best mate in His time! He still isn’t finish working on you in your life being single. Yes, it can be frustrating at times when you see couples holding hands in public around campus-kissing, hugging, and smooching! Don’t worry, it’ll be your time! Till then, look at your circumstances and life as a training season as God the Potter wants to mold you for that perfect mate of yours. I was at Chi Alpha last Friday, and I shared with the majority single men there that He is doing and will continue to do a work on you when you do get married. Focus on working with God on your weaknesses, bad habits, and struggles/issues during this off-season. You do not want to bring some of these into your marriage because those beginning years are going to be tough. How do I know? I see it with friends, young married couples, and divorced/widowed/single moms.

-”I wished I didn’t marry your father”
-widow raising 2-3 kids by themselves as their “dead beat” dads found another woman
-not being able to do what they want to do (can be selfish at times) since they are too occupied raising their kids at a young age
-”I got married at too of a young age”

*Note: I’ve heard successful stories despite some of these circumstances or sayings above, which God works the better of their situation when they do decide to follow Him

Again, Heavenly-“Father knows best” and He doesn’t want to give you something that you can’t handle yet. We are all unique individuals and growing in different times compared to your peers and people overall around you.

What are some steps I can take now being Single?

- Keep persevering in your daily walk with Christ, so when you do get married-you can take these daily habits and encourage your spouse. -Instead of taking self-pity of yourself being single, minister or encourage others by spending time in “acts of service” with other people that maybe lonely: senior citizen home, developmentally disabled youth/adults, mentor youth, widows, poor, international students, etc…
-Act as if you were married. I heard this from my local christian radio station one day-“don’t stare/oogle/lust towards others of the opposite sex because it’s considered adultery to “look” (lust) at a “married woman” (verse). How do you know if they are married? Well, you don’t, so don’t take a chance doing this to anybody in the first place. You won’t do this when you are married, so practice not doing this when you are single.
-do your friend or someone in your local church a favor by babysitting their kids. You’ll be a blessing to them. Plus, this is a good preparation skill by the time you have your own kids! -learn from the mistakes of the couples you know, so you can avoid repeating what they did in your own life. Also, people in the Bible:

-David’s (“peeping tom”) affair with Bathsheba 2 Sammuel 11
-Abraham’s trouble with 2 woman –Sarai and Hagar Genesis 16
-

Becareful what your thoughts feed on

We can easily admire and envy others-especially what we see on t.v., magazines, internet, movies, romance books, etc… “Sex” and “Love: finding in the wrong places or is defined the opposite of God’s description in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13)” is all around us, which we can sometimes get deceived that “everybody is doing it”. For example, I came into a friend’s house and he was watching “Animal House” (college faternity party movie). In one of the scenes, a young teenage girl asked the guy besides her if he was a “virgin”. He said “no”, which the girl responded suprisingly “no?”-as if it’s a “bad” thing! This is very similar to what I experience growing up with the “guys” in high school, which they thought I was “weird” or ”gay”. Don’t buy into their immoral ridiculing! You got to remember that humans are tempted into quick satisfaction and pleasure (e.g. sweets, chocoalate, caffeine, etc…), which can lead to some serious consequences (e.g. HIV-AIDS).

Advantages of Being Single

Paul talks about the advantages of being single (some will be temporarily or all their life-Matthew 19:10-12) in 1 Corinthians 7, which is a good chapter to read relating to this topic. An older Christian married woman shared (paraphrased) this with me after I gave my personal testimony at a Christian function:

“Sal, take advantage of the time you are single. You have all that time to spend time with God and serve Him. I wish I could do this, which I never have the time (maybe exaggerating a little bit) to do this after I got married to (anonymous).”

Here are some other advantages based on my perspective so far:

-you don’t have a certain time to go home and you can freely go about wherever you want (first ask God on how you can use your time being single)
-learn to not be dependent on anybody (God does want us to depend or rely one another to certain extent)

Disadvantages of Being Single

“it’s not good for man to be alone”
“two is better than one”

Testimonies


Reccomended Resources

LOCAL

  • Men, personal goodnewsumm site
  • Mozey On Inn, Minnewaska Area Singles

  • Contact: Bonnie at 320.634.4626 or Mike 320.634.3827
  • Widow, personal goodnewsumm site
  • LA: Women, personal goodnewsumm site

    NATION

    Articles

  • "Culture of Self", by Crosswalk
  • "The Single Truth: Challenging the Misconceptions of Singleness With Gods Consuming Truth", by Christian Books
  • Singleness, Inspiration, encouragement, and support for Christian singles who desire to live purposeful lives for Jesus Christ.
  • Books

  • I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
  • Dating

    Are Traditional Dating Practices Wrong?

    "Radical ideas for dating and marriage from Debbie Maken, author of the book Getting Serious About Getting Married"
    -Online Sites:

  • Friend Finder
  • Ministries

  • Single Mom's Ministry of Calvary Chapel,in Philadelphia
  • *Special E-Mail Forward Story*

    WAIT FOR THE BEST

    You long to give yourself completely to someone...
    To have a deep soul relationship with another...
    To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

    But GOD says:

    "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by
    Me alone...

    With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me...To having an intensely
    personal and unique relationship with Me alone,
    discovering that only in Me
    is your satisfaction be found, then will you be
    capable of the perfect human
    relationship that I have planned for you.

    You will never be united with another until you are united with
    Me...Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
    exclusive of any other desires or
    longings. I want you to stop planning, stop
    wishing, and allow Me to give you
    the most thrilling plan existing...

    One that you cannot imagine.
    I want you to have the best.

    Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just expect the greatest things..Keep
    listening and learning the things I tell you.

    Just wait, that's all.

    Don't be anxious, don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have
    gotten or that I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want.
    Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

    And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you will ever dream of.

    You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you can't experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and is thus the perfect love.

    And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, in My time. I want you to see it in the flesh, a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

    Know that I love you utterly,

    I am GOD Almighty.
    Believe it and be satisfied."

    Music

    "Single and Saved"

    "Wait for Me"-Rebecca St. James

    I remember this song when I went to her concert in Alexandria years ago. The story behind this is song is that we should wait for God's best (soul mate)...
    Transformed GenerationDubbed "God's Girl" by a leading Christian magazine, music artist Rebecca St. James' song remains the same: to preach Christ to her generation. Interview by Jen Abbas
    " FamilyChristian.com: You are known for your commitment to prayer and purity before marriage. What advice would you give to the 20-something feeling pressure? < Rebecca St. James "Transform" Transform by Rebecca St. James St. James: I'm there—I'm 22. The thing I'm really aware of is that we've got to wait for God's best. We don't need to settle for second best, and that's something I share in concert: live God's way, because His way is the greatest way. His way rules. Don't get messed up in the junk that so many people get messed up in. I've had so many people come up to me and say, "I got involved with drugs and alcohol, and I had sex outside of marriage, and I regret it now." Don't get involved with the junk. Live for God. Wait for God's best. I'm willing to wait for a husband who will love me as Christ loved the church, somebody that will truly love me. And if he truly loves me, he's going to be patient and he's going to wait for me and he's going to want me to wait too. That's true love.
    While I'm single, I can be totally focused on what God wants me to do now. I can also be growing in maturity and preparing myself for my husband. I think one of the joys of marriage is anticipating that, dreaming about it, being excited. At the same time, I can also have guy friends that I hang out with and enjoy as I wait on God's best and wait on His time. "


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