Monstervision's Joe Bob Looks At

Yor, The Hunter From The Future (1983)

(From Joe Bob's Ultimate B Movie Guide)

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Weird combination of sci-fi and sword-and-sorcery, "Yor" premiered at the I-45 Drive-In in Houston, starring Reb Brown as a blond beefcake with oiled biceps, a stick in his hand and some rabbit fur between his legs who fights brontosauruses with a stick. After he kills the first bronto and kung-fus eight or nine guys in hair ape-man suits, Reb starts sucking their blood out of his hand (for strength). Then he gets distracted by a bunch of bimbos (curiously UN-topless ones), and then we get two hours of meandering non-plot about Yor's yearning to return home--to TURKEY. It seems that he lived on an island where he got zapped into the future--or is it the past?--so he goes around bumping off giant bats, hang-gliding into apeman caves, and gliding through places that resemble Wet 'n' Wild Amusement Park. Then he goes and fights some fire creatures in the Land of the Diseased, and when he gets there he dumps his original French bimbo, Corinne Clery, for a blonde who's about to get sacrificed by a bunch of hillbillies who want to appease the misty gas gods.

Then Yor kung-fus six or seven mummy heads and sets fire to em with a flaming stick, and then he decides to become a Mormon and have two wives, until the bimbos start fighting and almost get raped by a gang of gorillas. He saves them from that fate, but the blonde bimbo gets busted in the head with a rock, and right before she dies she has a vision of the island Yor came from. This is right before the giant lizard attack, in which Yor plunges his sword into the lizard's eye, followed by the sequence in which he makes it with a Tahiti bimbo while her village is exploding. After that there's a giant whale attack and then he gets zapped into the future and the rest of the flick is about Yor fighting a creep who dresses like Darth Vader and wants to see Yor put in a test tube so he can "cultivate your seed."
Twenty-five dead bodies.
Two quarts blood.
Several decent beasts.
A little Kung Fu.
Heads roll.   I give it 3 stars

2000 Joe Bob Briggs. All Rights Reserved. Not an AOL Time-Warner Company in this lifetime.

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