Mike Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 recalls:

Road House

Certainly it stinks, but I believe the filmmakers meant it to

movie poster Here's Mike:


What I really believe is that a film should be judged on how well it comes off when compared with the Patrick Swayze film Road House. For Road House is the single finest American film. Certainly it stinks, but I believe the filmmakers meant it to, and succeeded grandly.

Therefore, films not containing poor performances by Patrick Swayze or Kevin Tighe will be judged harshly. Those that lack Ben Gazzara as their evil villain will be roundly castigated. Thereís no excuse for not telling the story of a legendary bouncer who finds love and confronts his demons at a small bar just outside Kansas City. And while adherence to a Road Housian standard certainly should be a requirement for every film, it neednít be the only requirement. A film should lack any image that could, whether by intent or negligence on the part of the filmmaker, seem to represent Adam Sandler. Every director should also take extreme precautions not to do a film based on the Irwin Allen tv-series Lost in Space. It may seem unfathomable to you and me that this would even be considered, and yet it actually happened.

Keep watching, my friends, and, above all, enjoy yourselves. Together we will find another Road House, and every last one of us will then be bouncers who find love and confront our demons at a small bar just outside of Kansas City. You know, metaphorically speaking.
Recommendations: those whose intellect and physical senses have been all but destroyed by concussive grenades will want to see Independence Day with Will Smith.

"Road House" availabilty on DVD from Amazon.com

Books by Michael Nelson available from Amazon.com include Movie Megacheese. Mike's episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 are available from Amazon.com on both video and on DVD, and he co-wrote the MST3000 book

Quotes (Courtesy of the Internet Movie Database) from Road House:
Wade Garrett: This place has a sign hangin' over the urinal that says, "Don't eat the big white mint"
Morgan: What am I supposed to do?
Dalton: There's always barber college.
Wade Garrett: That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.
Emmett: Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It don't belong.
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.
Dalton: Nobody ever wins a fight.
Red Webster: Don't ever marry an ugly woman, she'll suck the life right out of ya (Joe Bob's favorite quote from the movie)
Doc: Do you always carry your medical record around with you?
Dalton: Saves time.
Tinker: A polar bear fell on me.
Dalton: My way... or the highway.

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© 2000 Michael J. Nelson. All rights reserved, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles & reviews. Mike Nelson is no relation to Lloyd Bridges and has never run low on air while hunting around under the sea.