Weekly World MonsterVision ... Week of December 8, 1997

It's Back! A brand new season of Monstervision!

Featuring our special guest host
JOE BOB BRIGGS

America's foremost connoisseur of drive-in movies... in fact, he just might be our greatest living film critic, and here is what he'll be bringing you every Saturday night so mark your calendars!


Saturday 12/13/97

Cocoon (1985) at 11 p.m.
If you're looking for the fountain of youth, you can find it in Florida. Wilford Brimley, Hume Cronyn, and Don Ameche just found it in the swimming pool next door to their retirement home and it has definitely given them a new lease on life. Would it have anything to do with those strange alien eggs in the water? This popular science fiction comedy won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Don Ameche who sets the record for the world's oldest and best breakdancer. Rating: TV-PG-D.

Following Cocoon is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
Seconds (1966) at 1:45 a.m.
What if you could erase your identity and start your life over again.....as Rock Hudson? Okay, maybe that's not such a great idea but it's too late for John Randolph to turn back now. Formerly a pear-shaped banker trapped in a loveless marriage, John is now a hip California artist with the body of a greek god, thanks to the miracles of modern surgery. Naturally, the makeover comes with a hefty price-tag and some unexpected surprises. One of the most overlooked and underrated thrillers of the sixties, directed in a paranoid style by John Frankenheimer. Rating: TV-14.

Following Seconds is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake (1959) at 4:15 a.m.
Members of the Zurich family always succumb to a gruesome fate when they turn sixty - they are decapitated! It all has something to do with the massacre of a tribe of headhunters 180 years ago in Ecuador. Henry Daniell stars as a Swiss anthropologist whose hobby is head-shrinking and Paul Wexler plays his long-haired zombie assistant with sewn lips. Rating: TV-14.


Saturday 12/20/97

Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter (1984) at 11 p.m.
Promises, promises! Jason the undead rises from the morgue slab and returns to Camp Crystal Lake to stalk Kimberly Beck and a bunch of horny teenagers including geekmeister Crispin Glover. There aren't any Academy Award caliber performances on display here but you will learn some novel uses for a butcher knife, a hacksaw, a corkscrew, and other sharp objects. And yes, that's Corey Feldman as Kimberly Beck's monster-mask wearing little brother. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985) at 1:15 a.m.
An isolated rehab center for the mentally deranged is the setting for this gorefest in which a young inmate is plagued by recurring nightmares about you-know-who. Is it a figment of his imagination or is Jason still wearing that tired old hockey mask? The special effects include such delightful tricks as a spike in the brain and garden shears in the eyeballs. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Queen of Outer Space (1958) at 3:30 a.m.
In the year 1985, four American astronauts crash-land on Venus and are taken prisoner by an army of man-hungry alien women. Zsa Zsa Gabor, with her Hungarian accent and slit skirt wardrobe, takes top acting honors in this camp classic featuring leftover sets from Forbidden Planet, the giant spider from World Without End, and the rocketship from Flight to Mars. The screenplay by Charles Beaumont was based on a story by Ben Hecht. Rating: TV-PG.


Saturday 12/27/97

batteries not included (1987) at 11 p.m.
A group of elderly and low income tenement dwellers on New York's Lower East Side are threatened with eviction by an evil slumlord when help arrives in the form of two tiny flying saucers. Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy star in this whimsical fantasy executive produced by Steven Spielberg. In fact, Joe Bob says this started out as an episode of "Amazing Stories" and Spielberg decided it would make a better movie. Rating: TV-PG.

Following batteries not included is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
Project X (1968) at 1:30 a.m.
Christopher George plays a secret agent in the year 2118 who has inside information about an impending attack on the free world by Sino-Asia forces. Too bad he's got amnesia! In a desperate attempt to jog his memory, scientists convince George he's a bank robber in the year 1968. What? Don't worry, these guys know what they're doing. Tune in for one of William Castle's more offbeat productions featuring a special effects sequence designed by Hanna-Barbera Studios. Rating: TV-PG.

Following Project X is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
The Power (1968) at 4:00 a.m.
Members of a scientific team researching human endurance are being killed off one by one and George Hamilton is determined to unmask the murderer. The suspects include Richard Carlson, Aldo Ray, Michael Rennie, Earl Holliman, Gary Merrill, Nehemiah Persoff, and Arthur O'Connell. Can you guess which one is the evil supergenius with telekinetic powers? Produced by George Pal (The War of the Worlds). Rating: TV-PG-V.


Saturday 1/3/98

Strays (1991) at 12 a.m.
Here's a film to make you think twice about adopting that sweet little homeless kitty hanging around your house. Kathleen Quinlan and Timothy Busfield become potential cat food when they trade the city life for a "peaceful" country existence. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following Strays is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
The Beast Within (1982) at 2:05 a.m.
You wanna see a teenage boy blow up like a balloon and turn into a big ole cicada? Well, you've come to the right place. Paul Clemens is the unfortunate result of a blind date between his mom and a hairy creature from the swamp. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following The Beast Within is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Curse of the Faceless Man (1958) at 4:20 a.m.
A huge calcified figure found buried near Pompeii is sent to an American museum where it begins to display strange qualities. Research indicates that 2,000 years ago it lived as Quintilius, an Etruscan slave-gladiator who loved the daughter of a Roman senator. Rating: TV-PG.


Saturday 1/10/98

Carrie (1976) at 10 p.m.
She was the laughingstock of Bates High School until she unleashed her deadly telekinetic powers at the senior prom. Needless to say, there's not much left of the student body. Sissy Spacek, in an Oscar-nominated performance, stars in the first and maybe the best version of a Stephen King novel. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following Carrie is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
The Warriors (1979) at 12:15 a.m.
Based on a 1965 novel by Sol Yurick, this cult fave directed by Walter Hill is actually an updated version of Xenophon's Anabasis, an account of how a band of Greek soldiers survived a trek to Persia back to their homeland after the murder of their leader. Director Hill has simply modernized the tale by setting it in a gang-dominated New York City, painting it in day-glow colors, and giving it a rock 'n roll beat. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following The Warriors is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Streets of Fire (1984) at 2:30 a.m.
The plot is straight out of a superhero comic book: Singing sensation Ellen Aim (Diane Lane) is kidnapped for ransom by The Bombers, a biker gang led by the sadistic Raven (Willem Defoe). Desperate to get her back, Ellen's wimpy manager (Rick Moranis), turns to the only person who can rescue her - Ellen's former boyfriend (Michael Pare) and mercenary for hire. The rest of the movie follows our hero and his no-nonsense sidekick (Amy Madigan) as they descent into a hellish no-man's land in search of the pop star princess. An overlooked rock 'n roll action fantasy from director Walter Hill. Rating: TV-P14-DLV.


Saturday 1/17/98

The Wraith (1986) at 11 p.m.
Who is that mysterious guy in the back spacesuit driving that Dodge Turbo Interceptor? Why it's Charlie Sheen and he's playing crash and burn games with a sadistic gang of car thieves lead by Nick Cassavetes. Expect lots of auto carnage in this supernatural revenge thriller filmed in the Arizona desert and featuring the metal sounds of Billy Idol, Ozzy Osbourne, and others. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following The Wraith is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
Galaxis (1995) at 1:15 a.m.
As a refugee from the Planet Centaria, Brigitte Nielsen arrives on Earth and makes an immediate impression with her powerbra armor plated outfit and blonde buzz cut. She's on a quest for a powerful crystal that can save her planet from extinction and pity the fools that get in her way. Look for director Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead) in a cameo role. Rating: TV-PG-V.

Following Galaxis is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Popeye (1980) at 3:30 a.m.
The spinach-eating sailor man makes his live action film debut and you thought those Max Fleischer cartoons were strange! The title hero with the incredible prosthetic arms is played by Robin Williams, Shelley Duvall is Olive Oyl, Ray Walston is Poopdeck Pappy, Paul L. Smith is Bluto, Paul Dooley is Wimpy, and Wesley Ivan Hurt steals every scene in the film as Swee ' Pea. Harry Nilsson wrote the score, Jules Feiffer wrote the script, and Robert Altman directed this boxoffice fiasco which was filmed on the island of Malta. Rating: TV-PG.


Saturday 1/24/98

Black Sunday (1977) at 12:30 a.m.
Only a terrorist - or a Hollywood screenwriter - could come up with the insidious scheme at the heart of this what-if thriller directed by John Frankenheimer (The Manchurian Candidate). Undoubtedly inspired by the murders at the 1972 Olympics, Black Sunday follows two Black September agents (Marthe Keller and Bekim Fehmiu) and a deranged ex-Viet Nam pilot (Bruce Dern) as they plot to hijack the Goodyear Blimp, plant an explosive device aboard capable of killing thousands of people, and float it above the teeming crowds at Miami's Orange Bowl where it will be activated. The only men capable of stopping these maniacs are a special Israeli agent (Robert Shaw) and an undercover FBI officer (Fritz Weaver).Rating: TV-14-V.

Following Black Sunday is 100% Weird:
Caveman (1981) at 3:50 a.m.
Ever wonder who really invented rock 'n roll? The answer can be found in this comic fantasy about our prehistoric ancestors. According to this movie, a caveman named Atouk (Ringo Starr) was fooling around with a bunch of rocks when he discovered their rhythmic potential and voila! A new music was born. Damn clever guy, that Atouk. He's also no slouch when it comes to dinosaur wrangling and saving pretty cavewomen from falling into monster dung pits. Rating: TV-PG.


Saturday 1/31/98

The Exorcist (1973) at 10:35 p.m.
Demonic Possession. Head-spinning. Projectile green vomit. It's all here and a whole lot more in what is probably the only horror film to ever win nine Academy Award nominations. Linda Blair, in her greatest role, is the helpless little girl who becomes Satan's puppet and speaks in tongues. Rating: TV-14-V.

Following The Exorcist is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
The Hand (1981) at 1:30 a.m.
Michael Caine plays a cartoonist who has a real nasty accident and loses one of his favorite body parts. Well, actually he doesn't exactly lose it! Let's just say that breaking up is hard to do! Rating: TV-14-V.

Following The Hand is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
The Christine Jorgensen Story (1970) at 4 a.m.
The most famous transsexual of this era is the subject of a low-budget biography directed by Irving Rapper, a veteran of the Hollywood studio system who helmed such famous soap operas as Now, Voyager and Deception. John Hansen (where is he now?) stars as the sexually confused photographer who journeys to Denmark for a controversial operation that will change his life forever. Falling somewhere between unintentional parody and failed melodrama, The Christine Jorgensen Story was subjected to a particularly lurid ad campaign which featured such enticements on the movie poster as "Did the surgeon's knife make me a woman or a freak?" and "Sex with a woman was strange and impossible." It would make a great triple feature with Ed Wood's Glen or Glenda and William Castle's Homicidal. Rating: TV-14.


Watch for these great titles on MonsterVision in the upcoming months:

Teen Wolf
The Fly (1986)
Trog
Excalibur
Swamp Thing
Maximum Overdrive
Creepshow
The Seventh Sign
Tron

"Cocoon" is available on video and on DVD from Amazon.com

Wilford Brimley was previously seen in the MonsterVision movie Death Valley (1982), which Joe Bob noted was "based on a true story."

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