Weekly World MonsterVision ... Week of December 8, 1997
It's Back! A brand new season of Monstervision!
Featuring our special guest host
America's foremost connoisseur of drive-in movies... in fact, he just might be our greatest living film critic, and here is what he'll be bringing you every Saturday night so mark your calendars!
JOE BOB BRIGGS
(1985) at 11 p.m.
If you're looking for the fountain of youth, you can
find it in Florida. Wilford Brimley, Hume Cronyn, and Don Ameche just
found it in the swimming pool next door to their retirement home and it
has definitely given them a new lease on life. Would it have anything to
do with those strange alien eggs in the water? This popular science
fiction comedy won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Don Ameche who sets
the record for the world's oldest and best breakdancer. Rating:
Following Cocoon is Joe Bob's Last Call
Seconds (1966) at 1:45 a.m.
What if you could erase
your identity and start your life over again.....as Rock Hudson? Okay,
maybe that's not such a great idea but it's too late for John Randolph to
turn back now. Formerly a pear-shaped banker trapped in a loveless
marriage, John is now a hip California artist with the body of a greek
god, thanks to the miracles of modern surgery. Naturally, the makeover
comes with a hefty price-tag and some unexpected surprises. One of the
most overlooked and underrated thrillers of the sixties, directed in a
paranoid style by John Frankenheimer. Rating: TV-14.
Seconds is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
The Four Skulls of
Jonathan Drake (1959) at 4:15 a.m.
Members of the Zurich family
always succumb to a gruesome fate when they turn sixty - they are
decapitated! It all has something to do with the massacre of a tribe of
headhunters 180 years ago in Ecuador. Henry Daniell stars as a Swiss
anthropologist whose hobby is head-shrinking and Paul Wexler plays his
long-haired zombie assistant with sewn lips. Rating: TV-14.
Saturday 12/20/97Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter
(1984) at 11 p.m.
Promises, promises! Jason the undead rises from the
morgue slab and returns to Camp Crystal Lake to stalk Kimberly Beck and a
bunch of horny teenagers including geekmeister Crispin Glover. There
aren't any Academy Award caliber performances on display here but you will
learn some novel uses for a butcher knife, a hacksaw, a corkscrew, and
other sharp objects. And yes, that's Corey Feldman as Kimberly Beck's
monster-mask wearing little brother. Rating: TV-14-V.
Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter is Joe Bob's Last Call
Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985) at 1:15
An isolated rehab center for the mentally deranged is the setting
for this gorefest in which a young inmate is plagued by recurring
nightmares about you-know-who. Is it a figment of his imagination or is
Jason still wearing that tired old hockey mask? The special effects
include such delightful tricks as a spike in the brain and garden shears
in the eyeballs. Rating: TV-14-V.
Following Friday the 13th Part
5: A New Beginning is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Outer Space (1958) at 3:30 a.m.
In the year 1985, four American
astronauts crash-land on Venus and are taken prisoner by an army of
man-hungry alien women. Zsa Zsa Gabor, with her Hungarian accent and slit
skirt wardrobe, takes top acting honors in this camp classic featuring
leftover sets from Forbidden Planet, the giant spider from World
Without End, and the rocketship from Flight to Mars. The
screenplay by Charles Beaumont was based on a story by Ben Hecht. Rating:
Saturday 12/27/97batteries not included (1987) at 11
A group of elderly and low income tenement dwellers on New York's
Lower East Side are threatened with eviction by an evil slumlord when help
arrives in the form of two tiny flying saucers. Hume Cronyn and Jessica
Tandy star in this whimsical fantasy executive produced by Steven
Spielberg. In fact, Joe Bob says this started out as an episode of "Amazing Stories" and Spielberg decided it would make a better movie. Rating: TV-PG.
Following batteries not included
is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
Project X (1968) at 1:30
Christopher George plays a secret agent in the year 2118 who has
inside information about an impending attack on the free world by
Sino-Asia forces. Too bad he's got amnesia! In a desperate attempt to jog
his memory, scientists convince George he's a bank robber in the year
1968. What? Don't worry, these guys know what they're doing. Tune in for
one of William Castle's more offbeat productions featuring a special
effects sequence designed by Hanna-Barbera Studios. Rating:
Following Project X is Our 100% Weird
The Power (1968) at 4:00 a.m.
Members of a
scientific team researching human endurance are being killed off one by
one and George Hamilton is determined to unmask the murderer. The suspects
include Richard Carlson, Aldo Ray, Michael Rennie, Earl Holliman, Gary
Merrill, Nehemiah Persoff, and Arthur O'Connell. Can you guess which one
is the evil supergenius with telekinetic powers? Produced by George Pal
(The War of the Worlds). Rating: TV-PG-V.
Saturday 1/3/98Strays (1991) at 12 a.m.
Here's a film
to make you think twice about adopting that sweet little homeless kitty
hanging around your house. Kathleen Quinlan and Timothy Busfield become
potential cat food when they trade the city life for a "peaceful" country
existence. Rating: TV-14-V.
Following Strays is Joe Bob's
Last Call Flick:
The Beast Within (1982) at 2:05 a.m.
wanna see a teenage boy blow up like a balloon and turn into a big ole
cicada? Well, you've come to the right place. Paul Clemens is the
unfortunate result of a blind date between his mom and a hairy creature
from the swamp. Rating: TV-14-V.
Following The Beast Within
is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Curse of the Faceless Man (1958)
at 4:20 a.m.
A huge calcified figure found buried near Pompeii is sent
to an American museum where it begins to display strange qualities.
Research indicates that 2,000 years ago it lived as Quintilius, an
Etruscan slave-gladiator who loved the daughter of a Roman senator.
Saturday 1/10/98Carrie (1976) at 10 p.m.
She was the
laughingstock of Bates High School until she unleashed her deadly
telekinetic powers at the senior prom. Needless to say, there's not much
left of the student body. Sissy Spacek, in an Oscar-nominated performance,
stars in the first and maybe the best version of a Stephen King novel.
Following Carrie is Joe Bob's Last Call
The Warriors (1979) at 12:15 a.m.
Based on a 1965
novel by Sol Yurick, this cult fave directed by Walter Hill is actually an
updated version of Xenophon's Anabasis, an account of how a band of Greek
soldiers survived a trek to Persia back to their homeland after the murder
of their leader. Director Hill has simply modernized the tale by setting
it in a gang-dominated New York City, painting it in day-glow colors, and
giving it a rock 'n roll beat. Rating: TV-14-V.
Warriors is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Streets of Fire
(1984) at 2:30 a.m.
The plot is straight out of a superhero comic book:
Singing sensation Ellen Aim (Diane Lane) is kidnapped for ransom by The
Bombers, a biker gang led by the sadistic Raven (Willem Defoe). Desperate
to get her back, Ellen's wimpy manager (Rick Moranis), turns to the only
person who can rescue her - Ellen's former boyfriend (Michael Pare) and
mercenary for hire. The rest of the movie follows our hero and his
no-nonsense sidekick (Amy Madigan) as they descent into a hellish no-man's
land in search of the pop star princess. An overlooked rock 'n roll action
fantasy from director Walter Hill. Rating: TV-P14-DLV.
Saturday 1/17/98The Wraith (1986) at 11 p.m.
that mysterious guy in the back spacesuit driving that Dodge Turbo
Interceptor? Why it's Charlie Sheen and he's playing crash and burn games
with a sadistic gang of car thieves lead by Nick Cassavetes. Expect lots
of auto carnage in this supernatural revenge thriller filmed in the
Arizona desert and featuring the metal sounds of Billy Idol, Ozzy
Osbourne, and others. Rating: TV-14-V.
Following The Wraith
is Joe Bob's Last Call Flick:
Galaxis (1995) at 1:15 a.m.
a refugee from the Planet Centaria, Brigitte Nielsen arrives on Earth and
makes an immediate impression with her powerbra armor plated outfit and
blonde buzz cut. She's on a quest for a powerful crystal that can save her
planet from extinction and pity the fools that get in her way. Look for
director Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead) in a cameo role. Rating:
Following Galaxis is Our 100% Weird
Popeye (1980) at 3:30 a.m.
sailor man makes his live action film debut and you thought those Max
Fleischer cartoons were strange! The title hero with the incredible
prosthetic arms is played by Robin Williams, Shelley Duvall is Olive Oyl,
Ray Walston is Poopdeck Pappy, Paul L. Smith is Bluto, Paul Dooley is
Wimpy, and Wesley Ivan Hurt steals every scene in the film as Swee ' Pea.
Harry Nilsson wrote the score, Jules Feiffer wrote the script, and Robert
Altman directed this boxoffice fiasco which was filmed on the island of
Malta. Rating: TV-PG.
Saturday 1/24/98Black Sunday (1977) at 12:30 a.m.
a terrorist - or a Hollywood screenwriter - could come up with the
insidious scheme at the heart of this what-if thriller directed by John
Frankenheimer (The Manchurian Candidate). Undoubtedly inspired by
the murders at the 1972 Olympics, Black Sunday follows two Black
September agents (Marthe Keller and Bekim Fehmiu) and a deranged ex-Viet
Nam pilot (Bruce Dern) as they plot to hijack the Goodyear Blimp, plant an
explosive device aboard capable of killing thousands of people, and float
it above the teeming crowds at Miami's Orange Bowl where it will be
activated. The only men capable of stopping these maniacs are a special
Israeli agent (Robert Shaw) and an undercover FBI officer (Fritz
Following Black Sunday is 100%
Caveman (1981) at 3:50 a.m.
Ever wonder who really
invented rock 'n roll? The answer can be found in this comic fantasy about
our prehistoric ancestors. According to this movie, a caveman named Atouk
(Ringo Starr) was fooling around with a bunch of rocks when he discovered
their rhythmic potential and voila! A new music was born. Damn clever guy,
that Atouk. He's also no slouch when it comes to dinosaur wrangling and
saving pretty cavewomen from falling into monster dung pits. Rating:
Saturday 1/31/98The Exorcist (1973) at 10:35
Demonic Possession. Head-spinning. Projectile green vomit. It's
all here and a whole lot more in what is probably the only horror film to
ever win nine Academy Award nominations. Linda Blair, in her greatest
role, is the helpless little girl who becomes Satan's puppet and speaks in
tongues. Rating: TV-14-V.
Following The Exorcist is Joe
Bob's Last Call Flick:
The Hand (1981) at 1:30 a.m.
Caine plays a cartoonist who has a real nasty accident and loses one of
his favorite body parts. Well, actually he doesn't exactly lose it! Let's
just say that breaking up is hard to do! Rating: TV-14-V.
The Hand is Our 100% Weird Presentation:
Jorgensen Story (1970) at 4 a.m.
The most famous transsexual of
this era is the subject of a low-budget biography directed by Irving
Rapper, a veteran of the Hollywood studio system who helmed such famous
soap operas as Now, Voyager and Deception. John Hansen
(where is he now?) stars as the sexually confused photographer who
journeys to Denmark for a controversial operation that will change his
life forever. Falling somewhere between unintentional parody and failed
melodrama, The Christine Jorgensen Story was subjected to a
particularly lurid ad campaign which featured such enticements on the
movie poster as "Did the surgeon's knife make me a woman or a freak?" and
"Sex with a woman was strange and impossible." It would make a great
triple feature with Ed Wood's Glen or Glenda and William Castle's
Homicidal. Rating: TV-14.
Watch for these great titles on MonsterVision in the upcoming
Wilford Brimley was previously seen in the MonsterVision movie Death Valley (1982), which Joe Bob noted was "based on a true story."
©1997 Turner Network Television, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Do not use above email or websites. Joe Bob's new one is: www.joebobbriggs.com