“You guys demanded an O.J. movie, we’re delivering an O.J. movie, one of his most stirring, dramatic roles. At least, until he went on Court TV. He said more while he was puttin’ on those gloves than he does in this whole movie. Anyway, let’s watch O.J. being an actor in this flick called “Capricorn One,” that’s the story of how the evil Hal Holbrook has a master plan so that NASA won’t lose its funding. And the three astronauts who’re guinea pigs in the plan end up feeling a little exposed by the whole situation.
With Elliott Gould as the fearless investigative reporter who's trying to figure the whole thing out. I can't say any more about it, cause this one, it would be real easy to give away the plot in this one. So I'll just run down those drive-in totals. We have:
6 dead bodies
1 high-speed motor vehicle chase, with plunge off drawbridge
2 airplane chases with 1 crash-landing
1 cocaine bust
1 rattlesnake attack
Tire iron to the head
2 exploding helicopters
I give it 3 stars. Check it out. We'll be here all night checking in on the thespian exploits of O.J., roll it. Elliott Gould! Karen Black! O.J. Simpson! Brenda Vaccaro! Telly Savalas! What tells me this is a '70s movie? Now all we need is Robert Blake, and we got the perfect '70s movie.
I wanna remind you that next week we have something kinda special. It's November 22nd, the anniversary of the Kennedy assassination, so we're showing a 1964 documentary called 4 Days In November, that's basically the story of the assassination and its aftermath, and the impact it had on the country. And the director of the movie, Mel Stewart, will be here with me. And also, an old Dallas reporter buddy of mine, Bob Porter, will be here. Bob was a reporter at the Dallas Times Herald when the whole thing happened, and Dallas is my home town so I've heard all these stories, but we're gonna re-hash a few of them, and it might be a kind of interesting and different night on MonsterVision.
And you're probably thinking, "Joe Bob, what does that have to do with monsters?" Well, just think of Lee Harvey Oswald as the monster! People get so upset when you try to be a little different. And if you're bored by that, you can stay up late next week, watch our second feature, which is King Kong, the 1975 version with Jessica Lange, now that's a monster. In the immortal words of Dino De Laurentiis, interviewed when the movie came out, "When monkey die, everybody cry."
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.