When the Church Fails You
By
Robert Diffin
Before I begin, let me indicate I believe that all Christians should attend church regularly. The Bible says plainly that we are to gather together in the name of the Lord. We cannot gather over the TV, radio, or even the internet although there may be communication involved. Where the church is, the Spirit of the Lord is. Therefore, broken fellowship is extremely detrimental both to the Church and to the churchgoer. We just simply cannot thrive spiritually in the absence of the church body.
However, there may be a time or even times when, for one reason or another, we aren’t able to attend church or fall out of sorts with someone or something and aren’t able to resolve the problem we are facing. When that happens we are sometimes faced with difficult decisions. Do we humble ourselves and try to smooth things over? Do we stay away for a while then go back to church? Do we have a confrontation or do we just find another church? Of course, the problem with the last alternative mentioned is that the same type of thing may happen again in another church.
It is important that we try to understand the dynamics involved with the social aspects of church attendance. In some respects, a church can be like any organization. Beyond the commonality of our faith there are usually common interests and frequently common social attributes. What we need to address is whether common interests and social attributes are interfering with our faith experience to the degree that the spiritual growth or welfare of the individual (us) is threatened. Yes, I do mean just threatened. I do not advocate striving in vain to overcome strong discension without being a minister oneself or counseling with your pastor. This is a serious issue and one that affects not only the individual; rather the church as a whole.
In Matthew the twenty-fifth chapter Jesus directed:
1 Then Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to His disciples, 2 saying: "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. 3 Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. 4 For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
Therefore it is not acceptable to rebel against every imposition particularly if it comes from the leadership. If Jesus didn’t advocate rebellion against the leaders of the synagogue who helped to have Him crucified, we shouldn’t rebel against our ministers. We would certainly do well to measure our response to problems we encounter in the Church in accord with the severity of the problem itself. To do more is to say “Let us take a heart for an eye and a head for a tooth.” But where does that scripture come from anyway?
Matthew 5
5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
And what is the context of Jesus’ reference to this saying?
5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
You see, we are often moved by what we hear said above that which is written in scripture. But we need to be able to say: “It is written...” if not: "Thus sayeth the Lord" In so doing we may resist the impulse to say something off hand rather than relying on His wisdom to help us through conflicts.
Above all we should always weigh our own contribution to any misunderstanding. Apologize when necessary and state our feelings in a brief and concise manner early on. Misunderstandings and ill feelings do not benefit from the lapse of time without some kind of resolution. Confusion is like a weed that grows in the dark. It flourishes in the lack of truth and understanding, lavishing blame where there should be no guilt.
The Bible teaches us that truth is established where there are two or three witnesses. That means that there are likely to be opposing views; and where there are opposing views you need a mediator. That is why I say you should not try to deal with these kind of problems by yourself without referring to someone in leadership. If you have a firmer grasp of all the ramifications of a particular spiritual matter then you should have done your thesis on the subject… in Seminary.
October 25, 2003
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