Sorry for being late, but Season 19 snuck up on me.  Luckily I was able
to watch the opener on Comcast On-Demand.

Our favorite Reality TV series returns, this time plaguing the small island
nation of Samoa.  If anybody thought "SURVIVOR" jumped the shark,
THEY ARE DEAD WRONG!!!  We have a new hero!  But first, let us begin
at the beginning…

20 Americans paddled their outriggers ashore to meet with host, Jeff
Probst.  He informs the castaways that the adventure has begun.  They
are already divided into two tribes, Galu (GT) and Foa Foa (FFT).  The
first task at hand is for them to vote on picking a leader.  None have been
allowed to speak with each other, so they are clueless beyond mere
physical appearances.  GT selects Russel (with one L) and FFT selects
Mick.

Jeff then has the leaders pick out members whom they think would be the
best swimmers, strongest, most agile and smartest.  The first Reward
Challenge is a multi-step event.  Swimmers are to retrieve a key from off-
shore.  The strong use the key to unlock 2 bundles of logs which they
then must carry to be used as steps for a balance beam.  The agile must
then negotiate the beams to get another key.  That key is given to the
smart players who unlock bags of puzzle pieces.  First tribe to assemble
their puzzle gets a piece of flint.

FFT gets a big lead as Jaison is an excellent swimmer, having played on
Yale's water polo team.  Good Heaven's…, A YALE MAN!!!  What will the
lads at Dear Ol' Harvard say?  FFT's smart person, Liz, grumbles that she
may be type-cast since she is Asian.  After all, we all know those Asians
are smart and sneaky.  LOL!  Liz proves her point and FFT wins reward.

At FFT Beach, Russell (with 2 Ls), begins working on his alliances.  He
begins with the ladies.  First is the short-haired blond, Ashley.  Then the
long-haired blond, Natalie.  Not being picky, Russell then cozies up with
brunette Marisa and the tribe's oldest woman, Betsy.  Betsy is a cop, and
her spidey-senses tell her not to trust Russell.  Good intuition, Betsy!

Over at Camp GT, their leader, Russel, with one L, takes charge immediate-
ly.  They get cracking on their shelter at once.  But progress bogs down
when John, a 'rocket-scientist', injects engineering concerns.  As the
men discuss the architectural merits of defense against wind and rain,
the tribe's Marine, known as Shambo, has doubts.  How long will it be
until she goes into an R. Lee Ermey  routine…, "What is YOUR MAJOR
MALFUNCTION???"

At night, Russell tells his FFT members a long crazy story about surviving
Hurricane Katrina.  He spins a sad tale of how he, a New Orleans fire-
fighter, got trapped at home with his dog, Roxy.  As the levees broke
and his home became submerged, Russell uses his ax to open a hole in
the roof.  But it is too late.  He spends the next two days stranded alone
on his roof, cradling the corpse of his dead dog in his arms.  LOL!

Not content with merely telling outrageous lies, Russell sets out to cause
trouble as the rest sleep.  He drinks or spills all of the drinking water
from their canteens!  Next, he tosses a pair of socks left out to dry by
another into the fire!  LOL!!!  This guy is too much!

Next morning, FFT awakens to find all their water is gone.  Jaison searches
high and low for his socks.  Hahaha!  Everyone is miserable and grumpy,
everyone except Russell.  He's as happy as a clam as he watches the
rest bicker and argue over what to do?  Russell's plan is to sabotage his
tribe as much as possible to root out the weaklings.  He confesses to
Uncle Cameraman that he is actually a Texas oil millionaire.  I tried to
Google him, but every site about him had a malware flag. 

Day 3 and it's time for the Immunity Challenge.  Tribes must work together
to overcome a course of angled obstacles.  Each gets progressively
steeper.  They'll carry ropes through the course until reaching a pair of
heavy crates.  The tribes must then drag their crates to the finish where
four members will disassemble the planks to spell out a phrase.  Galu
gets off to a huge lead, but FFT closes.  Galu is working well as a team
with them helping each other over the obstacles.  FFT does not start
this practice till the last two. 

Galu's lead dwindles during the crate-pulling phase, but they do start
work on their puzzle first.  FFT seems to be better at the puzzle, but
Shambo had directed her tribe to find the planks for the top first.  Her
strategy succeeds and they quickly solve the rest.  FFT is confused and
uncoordinated as Galu wins immunity!  They celebrate loudly, making
FFT feel shame, LOL!

Back at camp, FFT starts the business of discussing who to boot.  An
early favorite is Ashley, as many see her as the weakest link.  Mike, a
62 year old chef, is really pushing to boot her, mainly to save his own
hide as being the oldest.  Russell chats up everyone and Marisa sees
this.  She confronts him with her concerns about trusting him.  That's
enough to convince Russell that Marisa must get booted.  He spins a
web with the rest.  Once again, Betsy has her doubts about him.

At Tribal Council, Jeff tells them they were not even close to solving
the plank puzzle.  Liz seems disappointed that her natural Asian smart-
ness failed.  The conversation quickly turns to whom should be voted
off first.  Sentiment is to get rid of the perceived weakest player, Ashley.
But she goes into defense and lists her athletic prowess.  She's very
fit and works out, don't you know!  Ben and Marisa then start bickering,
and Russell uses the moment to fuel the flame.  He tells Jeff they argue
all the time.  Russell then throws Marisa under the bus for being un-
trustworthy.  It's time to vote.

Jeff grabs the ballot urn when all have voted.  The count is close between
Marisa and Ashley.  But Marisa then starts getting extras and when
Jeff reads the sixth vote against her (the ninth overall) it's enough.  She's
the first one to be voted off.  After snuffing out her torch, Jeff tells the
rest of the tribe they better get their act together quickly, or else they'll
be seeing a lot more of him at tribal council.  LOL!

SPOILERS:  An epic battle between the tribes results in Jeff having to
disqualify one player for being too physical.  Russell goes on the war-
path, no doubt to further his scheme of making life miserable for FFT.