Please Don't Squeeze
The Charmin
by
Andy Zarowny

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Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 11
Episode 12
Episode 13
Episode 14
The Finale

Season 14
Season 13
Season 12
Season 11
Season 10
Season 9
Season 8
Season 7
Season 6
Season 5

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Day 16 at Zhan Hu.  James is awake first and begins the camp chores.  Peih
Gee stirs and asks if he needs any help.  He's got it under control.  PG is very
happy with the way her strategy unfolded last night at Tribal Council.  Aaron
is gone and once James is sent packing, a merge would mean five players
from each of the original tribes.  James knows all too well that he'll be next to
go if Zhan Hu loses another Immunity Challenge.

Day 17 at Fei Long finds Todd telling Amanda about the clues to find the hid-
den immunity idols.  He hasn't found it yet and knows he needs help.  They
plot to kidnap James at the next Reward Challenge so they can get the fourth
clue.  Speaking of which, it's time for the RC!

It's Confucius Puzzle Planks!  Each tribe will send one player at a time to race
through buildings of an abandoned village to find long planks with letters
on them.  Once all eight planks are found, tribes will uncover a puzzle board
and slide the planks in to spell out a famous quotation by Confucius.  The
reward for the winning tribe will be a day at a tea house, along with a bath and
shower, plus a 'Western' toilet complete with Charmin toilet paper!  OH BOY!
Both tribes begin very even.  While in a building getting their planks, PG tells
Sherea that Zhan Hu is looking out for her and to tell Frosti the same.  The
race stays tight but Fei Long gets their eight planks first.  Zhan Hu is right
behind but they get nowhere solving the puzzle.  Frosti recognizes enough of
the words and figures out that it's, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with
a single step".  Frosti leads Fei Long to victory!  They select James to be kid-
napped and Jeff gives James a clue-scroll. 

Fei Long arrives at the tea house.  Tea is served along with sweet cookies
and other yummy things.  Next comes the bathing.  Most have a tub to them-
selves, but Courtney and Amanda share a tub, as far away from Jean Robert
as possible.  They try to ignore his sexual comments.  The girls do get excited
as they watch James shower himself off.  LOL!

Over at Zhan Hu, Erik, PG and Jaime brood about constantly losing.  PG lets
the others know that she talked with Sherea and is confident that she's still
onboard with them.  But they are concerned about Frosti.  He did not make
eye contact with any of them during the Reward Challenge.  ZH reconsiders
their Grand Strategy of throwing the next IC.  Back at Fei Long, Todd talks
with James.  Todd wants the scroll James has and tells him all about the
clues for the hidden immunity idol.  If James gives him the scroll, he'll give
the idol the James to save him from the next expected ZH Tribal Council.  The
clues will also help James find the other idol at ZH Beach.  James agrees!

Day 18 and Todd and Amanda work at the Chinese archway.  While Amanda
pretends to be knocking off shingles for some purpose, Todd works to get
the idol a-fixed on the main cross beam.  But Frosti sees them and offers to
help get shingles, too!  Todd bites his nails but does finally get he idol.  Todd
gives it to James and they hatch a plan for James to help throw the next IC
at ZH in order to use the idol and get Jaime booted instead.  Todd then fills in
Courtney and Denise on this new plot.

Immunity Challenge time and it's the old family favorite, the Gross Food Chal-
lenge!  It will be Zhan Hu versus Frosti, Amanda, Courtney and Denise.  First
tribe to score four points wins.  Round One pits PG vs Frosti to down ten
chicken hearts.  Frosti wins giving FL the lead.  Round Two has Jaime against
Courtney to eat three whole eels.  Jaime evens the match at one-all.  Round
Three is Erik vs Amanda to munch on three baby turtles.  It's close but Erik
puts ZH up, 2-1.  Round Four has James versus Denise to eat one chicken
fetus, complete with feathers.  YUK!!!  James deliberately tries to throw this
round, but Denise simply cannot swallow her food.  It's just too gross!  She
gives up and James reluctantly puts Zhan Hu up 3 to 1.  It all comes down to
Round Five pitting Erik vs Frosti to down a 1,000 year old egg.  This one is
close but Erik is slightly faster.  Zhan Hu wins immunity!

Fei Long mopes back to camp.  Denise apologizes for her failure.  Todd,
Denise and Amanda plan to boot Sherea to salvage the situation and keep
FL ahead in numbers for a merge.  They tell Courtney, but she's not happy.
She'd rather get Jean Robert booted.  Courtney tells Sherea what's going on
and how she intends to vote against JR.  Sherea likes that news!  The alli-
ance gathers for a swim to tell Frosti he's safe, but then Courtney chimes in
about switching to boot JR.  Todd and Amanda discuss the switch in private.
Amanda wants to stick with the original plan to vote off Sherea, but Todd is
getting wobbly.  He's concerned about coming off as a 'power player' too
soon.  Jean Robert tells Uncle Cameraman that he is concerned about his
position.

At Tribal Council, Sherea begins by telling Jeff she senses a lot of shadiness
going on with in Fei Long.  Jean Robert tells Jeff he's changed over the past
18 days, becoming more helpful and social.  Sherea goes on the offensive
and trashes JR, telling him he's not well liked by the rest of the tribe.  Then
Courtney, feeling cocky, also chimes in and slams JR for being a lame bore.
She also says she's felt all along like an outsider until Sherea and Frosti
joined FL.  Todd jumps on Courtney for not trusting him when he's tried to
befriend her since Day One!  Jean Robert gets the last word, saying that while
they may seem divided now, FL works well together during challenges.  It's
time to vote.  Sherea and Courtney vote to boot JR.  The rest, including Frosti,
send Sherea packing.

SPOILERS:  James gets the second hidden immunity idol, but Erik and Jaime
find one of them.  Todd struggles with Courtney to keep his alliance together.
Good thing, too, because it's time for THE MERGE!!!

Sir Linksalot
Survivor:  China