Dustin loved his 3-wheeler!
I love his cute little grin!
~God Only Cries for the Living~
Keep sending me butterflies Buddy and I will keep believing.
This was the last picture I took of Dustin.
Only 3 weeks before I lost him.
I had no idea it would be the last chance I would have
to take his picture.
It's kind of ironic that Cassie was also in the picture.
Cassie was our cocker spaniel that we got when she was 6 weeks old.
She was 14, and ran away only a few months after I lost Dustin.
I can only hope that she is with Dustin. My two babies.
This photo was taken right after we got Cassie.
Dustin's special cousin, Sadie is in the picture.
His cousin Stephen is also pictured.
A stray kitten Dustin found
in the woods.
Almost every picture I have of Dustin, he is holding an animal.
He was looking forward to becoming a Veterinarian one day.
He truly loved animals.
Dustin rescued this baby possum
he found abandoned in the woods
in Alabama.
Dustin loved playing football.
He has a special cousin who he loved very much.
Summer keeps a special place in her heart for Dustin,
and calls this her favorite picture.
She remembers how happy he was.
We all have to hold onto whatever memories we have
and keep them with us wherever we go.
Dustin wants all of us to be happy.
I am so very proud of my Buddy.
He is so handsome.
Paint Brush
I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.
I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.
Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.
~Bettie B. Youngs
Dustin and Uncle Chuck fishing at the lake
in Citronelle, Alabama.
WHY
What could I have done, what did I not do
why did I not know that his heart
was torn in two?
So young so vital
with good looks, wit and charm
who could see it coming
that he would do himself harm?
What lay beneath that smile
and those soulful eyes
that happy go lucky manner
and so young to be so wise.
What dark shadows
what penumbra of pain
was cast over his soul
that countermanded his brain?
To take his own hands
to handle his strife
what could posses a healthy young man
to take his own life?
No indication that something was wrong
his presence genuine, his laugh for real
he didn't seem to wear a mask
what did he want to...but could not heal?
His soul's torment too great
and his pain so severe
he let go of love
and faced his own fear.
He journeyed to his God
his pain now relieved
this path his only choice
he had to believe.
God will not judge him!!!!!
He will welcome him home
Death the ultimate healer
to the pain that he'd known.
No one will ever know
what guided his hand that day,
Why he left his Mother in sorrow
and dark dismay.
Like explaining color
to someone born blind
there are no answers
that anyone can find.
Just know it was an illness
with no symptoms or apparent wound
that took this young and vibrant man
from my arms too soon.
Forgive him,
he was lost and tried to find his own way
and chose to find his God
he felt the only way.
He is now at peace
and dwells with his lord
as he answered to a call
he could not ignore.
He now watches over you
with his spirit still intact
and so sorry for the pain he caused
from his last earthly act.
He wants you to know
that he still loves you very much
it was no-one's fault
and he misses your touch.
He now knows a freedom
he had not known on earth
his soul was in prison
and he sought a re-birth.
He says to try and understand
and please don't be mad
he had no choice and
knows you are sad.
Continue to love him
and speak often his name
he lingers very close
for in your heart he remains.
When you go to bed at night
talk to him while in prayer
he will come to comfort you
and will always be there.
Dustin loved visiting his Godparents
in New Orleans. They had lots of animals.
They (Iva & Jerry) recently asked that I add this memory to the memorial site......
"Here is something I would like for you to put on Dustin's web site,
as I have a little trouble even bringing it up.
My fondest memory of us together is that night we were playing a card game,
I think it was UNO, and when it got to Iva's turn,
I said O.K. it's your turn "babee".
Dustin just got the giggles and every time he would think of it,
he would mimic me and we would all crack up.
We still think of that night every time we play that, or a similar game.
If you can add it to the web site I would appreciate it.
Like Bob Hope used to say, Thanks for the memories."
I remember this night like it was yesterday.
Iva and Jerry have a strong New Orleans accent,
Dustin loved to hear them talk, we laughed about this for a long time.
Thank God for the memories.
LOSS OF A CHILD
So sad to lose a child
One finds the hurt and the pain
You think nothing can ever be the same..
One becomes so angry
Cries most of the time
At times you think you're losing your mind..
Why can't I wake from this horrible dream
I know this can't be true
All parents feel this way it's not only you
Time has a way to get you through
Though it's hard for you to see
I know...It has happened to me
Cherish the memories of your child
Keep them safe within your heart
During the time you're sad and blue
Pull a memory from your heart
And watch it create a smile.
~Coleman Doyle Alldredge
A Beginning
One day you wake up and realize
that you must have survived it because you are still here,
alive and breathing. But you don’t remember
the infinitely small steps and decisions you took to get there.
Your only awareness is that you have shed miles of tears
on what seems to be an endless road of sorrow.
One day, you wake up and feel
your skin tingle again, and you forget just for an instant
that your heart is broken…
and it is a beginning.
~Susan Borrowman
This angel reminds me of Dustin's cousin, Sadie,
when she was younger, she had/has the most beautiful red hair.
In loving memory of my only child, Dustin,
who was taken from me too soon.
Born March 1st, 1986 and left me December 9th, 2002
~Forever 16, Forever Loved, and Forever in my Heart~
Christmas 2008
Seven Christmas' without my Buddy.
I Love you Dustin!!!
"It's not that I wanted to die.........
I just didn't want to live."
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