If the world were flat....

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Ponders

I haven`t touched this page, or even linked it to my main page for a few years now, but I have decided that it is time to share a few things that I think about before I go to bed. If you have any comments, or reasonings to the following musings, you can write me at Rosetta@shaw.ca, don`t think too hard!

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me....they're cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

(taken from a spam email from Bill Cox, Québec)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

>Smart man + smart woman = romance
>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

>OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

>SHOPPING MATH
>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>HAPPINESS
>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a >little.
>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand >her at all.

>LONGEVITY
>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more >willing to die.

>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and >cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the >same thing to them at funerals.

What if the world was flat rather than round? 1. You would be able to see every plane in the sky from any place on Earth, as long as the clouds don't get in your way.

2. Map making would be a lot easier. A flat Earth would fit on a flat map without any stretched out continents or cut up continents .

3. The two towers the the golden gate bridge would be the same distance apart at the top and at the bottom of the towers. (They are not parallel.)

4. There would be no such thing as a horizon.

5. You would be able to see the Egyptian pyramids from the Sears Tower in Chicago. In fact 'as far as the eye can see' would mean the whole world.

6. There would be no such thing as a trip around the world.

7. All TV and radio signals could be transmitted from just one tower. We wouldn't need communication satellites.

8. All parts of the planet would be the at the same season at the same time.

9. There would be no equator.

10. We would spend too much time wondering what was on the other side of all that flatness

11. A flat world would have an edge- the place where the world ends. What is over that edge??

What is happiness?
Happiness is feeling beautiful, witty and cunning all at the same time.

What is the meaning of life?
The meaning of life is different for each one of us. To me, the meaning of life is to do as much as I can to make a difference in the world before I pass on.

Why is the past so desirable but yet so unattainable?
    Don't we all wish we could go back in time? Think back to your last embarrassing moment, that special day you would love to relive or when you said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I know I always look back and wonder: what would have happened if I went to a different high school and never met the people I know now? Or how would life be like if I kept all the friendships I lost over the years? The inventor of the time machine would make millions or even billions of dollars, I know I would be one of the customers in line. The idea of time travel is enticing, but impossible.
    So why is the past so desirable? This brings us to two aspects of human nature: we are curious beings, and secondly, we want what we can't get.
    Humans are, no doubt the most curious organisms that have graced the Earth. Our thoughts caresse every topic and possibility. When it comes to life, we wonder what events and people we miss by not taking the road less traveled. What if we met our true loves if we didn't catch the bus? That is, if you don't believe in fate. What if I went to U of T to study instead of staying in Calgary? I would have met people that are similar to the people I have already met in Calgary, and I would still be sitting here at my computer writing this little essay... well not quite, but maybe the main point is that we will never know.
    We want what we can't get. Have you ever been with someone that never loved you back? It is that frustration that keeps your flame for him burning- you want him, but you can't get him, therefore you want him more. He is irrelevant, but the feeling- the wanting is crucial. The same concept applies to why the past is so desirable, it is beyond reach, impossible, imaginary.. and so mysterious. But what if.... what if someday someone did invent the time machine, would the past be so desirable? Would the inventor make millions, even billions of dollars? We will never know, we can only dram the possibilities and the consequences.

If I tell you I lie all the time am I lying right now?
Oh gawd, this sounds like a philosophical question... ok so then if two wrongs make a right.... or was it two rights make a wrong?? ARRGGGGG!!!@#$#@$% I'll leave it to the philosophy majors to answer this one.