Catching up with Tony B!

We at the Julio web site, ever with our finger on the pulse of society, know the questions that gnaw at America's collective psyche. Hoping to answer one of those now, today we show you... "What has Tony Batista been doing since he left the Orioles?"

- Upon hearing that the incoming Miguel Tejada was going to take Tony's number 10, he just snapped! Grabbing his bat "Mediocre Boy" he worked over Miguel's car but good! Why he dragged it to home plate first we may never know...

-Trying to get his mind off of being out of work, Tony relaxed with a day at America's favorite theme park! No, not Disneyland... or Six Flags... or Busch Gardens... or King's Dominion... or Dutch Wonderland... the country music one! No, not Twitty City... Damn it, Dollywood!

- Scared out of his mind by the roller coaster, Tony decided that perhaps a smaller ride would be more to his liking. We have nothing funny to say about it. We're scarred because of the pun in the alt text.

- Finding thrill rides to be too much for him, Tony showed off his fancy footwork with a round of Dance Dance Revolution! I can only imagine that jumping up and down like an idiot would be an improvement to his current third base technique consisting of "just standing there."

- Tony then decided to get back to the game that he loved... Unfortunately he's not talented enough to make the Olympic baseball team. On the other hand, he turned out to be perfect for the Special Olympic baseball team! Upon seeing Tony's batting stance, teammate Mongo Lloyd was heard to comment: "Friggin retard!"

- Well, if Tony can't find steady work, I'm sure Mike Piazza always has a position for him!

Thank you all for reading! See you at the yard!

-Jorge "God" Julio

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