here's a little titanic parody. enjoy! x)

THE ROCK AND THE SHIP OF DREAMS

Rose: Ooh yes, Titanic was truly the ship of dreams. Except for the third class passengers. I guess Titanic was the ship of wet dreams for them. I was forced into an engagement with an evil, rich, white man. That's not what I wanted in my life. My heart longed for an evil, rich, half-black, half-samoan man. I've met plenty of evil, rich, blacks and samoans. But never a half-black, half-samoan, with sufficient income, and being reasonably evil.

Flashback to early 1912, the day Titanic set out for sea.

Rock: Out of the way, jabronie. The Rock is the best damn king of the world... there ever was. Where the hell is McMahon? He sends the Rock to roody poo jolly old England and can't even buy the Rock a plane ticket home. Oh yeah, it's 1912. Planes aren't invented yet. And McMahon isn't born yet. What the hell is the Rock talking about?

Jabronie: Fongul!

Rock: Hold up there, jabroness. If you jump off the ship, the Rock is going to have to find a floatation device to throw at you, and probably get his $500 shirt dirty in the process. The Rock can see you're not a stupid piece of trash. It would be a shame to ruin both you and the Rock's $500 shirt. Let the Rock put down his microphone and pull your candy-ass back over the rail.

Rose: That's a $500 shirt? I see you're evil. Does the Rock happen to be half-black and half-samoan?

Rock: The Rock's father can dunk a basketball and the Rock's mother can eat a basketball, if you smell what the Rock is cooking.

Rock: There's no better way to sell out than with a beautiful white broad on my right and a big, fat, rich, pig on my left.

Rose: Why don't we go down to third class and dance in our expensive clothing and make the jabronies jealous?

Rock: It wouldn't be the first time the Rock performed in front of a bunch of trailer park trash. Hey pig, there's a buffet straight ahead. Why don't you lay the smack down on its all-you-can-eat ass?

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