The Azerbaijanian Cold
by Maggie Mulder
Greetings. I am a germ, also known as a pathogen. I cause the common cold. Fascinatingly...well...common, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought...well can I help it if all germs are communists?
Anyhow, back in Azerbaijan, my homeland, a young, vertically challenged girl by the name of Danielle Carter sneezed on her dear friend, Alex Vernon at the airport. Little did poor Al know that the evil Dani had infected him with none other than the Azerbaijanian cold...me. So Alex sniffled and coughed all the way back to the Nashville International Airport, while I slyly performed my specialty called mitosis and kicked some serious anti-body butt.
He arrived at the airport, and first hugged a girl wearing a large straw/flowered hat and who continuously quacked like a duck. Poor soul, I invaded her body before she even had a chance to flap her psuedo-wings (aka her arms).
On the ride home, this duck-human hybrid sat next to a girl with purple hair who she referred to as "My Sissy-Poo". My Sissy-Poo became infected with me as well.
By the next morning, I had also infected "Marky" and "Mer/Mommalee/Merry" (the parents of the Duck and Sissy), Alex's friend Annabelle, Annabelle's sister Lisa and a failed attempt on the dog (Char-Man) was thwarted.
My simple life ended when good ol' Mer sneezed me onto a doorknob. That stupid Duck (who apparantly very often runs around witha huge can of Lysol), blasted me on the bathroom doorknob. My final moments were spent attempting mitosis before relenting to the call of the Grim Reaper.
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