Identity: Kaimbridge M. GoldChild.


        Aliai: "Scooby-Doo"; "Gomer Pyle";
               "Mortimer Snerd"; "Dick Dead-Eye";
               "Arnold Horshack"; "Sprinkles";
               "Curly Joe DeRita"; "Jack Nicolson".


        D-O-B: Tuesday 10 May 1966 (UTC).
               (reportedly hatched)


   Occupation: Postal Worker.


    Avocation: Radio monitoring and
               Dx-ing (receiving distant stations).


    Obsession: Amateur geodesy (the inverse and
                                direct problems).


 Grand Theory: Digitology (the universe is binary).


        Music: Busy, loud, richly orchestrated, spatially
               atmospheric, waltzy call and response,
               moody and bluesy quarter-beat soul (any
               format)——presented through heavy
               audio processing (hypnogogic compression).


  Disposition: A strong geripedian (old/young) nature.


   Accusation: Crimes against sanity.


       Reward: $10,000,000.00 (payable to the accused).