Most of you know the WUBS...or have at least read a few. I would like to introduce you to the WUB characters a bit and just review about WUBS in general. Sit back and relax....enjoy! (FYI: if your of the age, the WUBS are best enjoyed with a Cuervo Margarita)
HISTORY: The WUBS started in May of 1998 when I was so bored with the Jax/Brenda love story, I needed an outlet. My first WUB was titled: "JAX AND BRENDA: A LUV STORY." The term WUB evolved after someone (Sue) first suggested WUV to describe the cuddly wubbines these two fine people enjoyed. WUB was born and the rest is "WUBSTORY"!
CHARACTERS OF WUBS. Almost all of the resident of Port Charles have at one time or another, been the subject of WUBS. No one has been spared. I have also had crossovers (TODD from OLTL visited the PATHETIC PORT CHARLES MALE CLUB awhile back and ERICA KANE was found to be Brenda's long lost Mother) and on most Holidays, the WUBS will gather together for some fun and games.
I, Brenda Barrett, The Most Beautiful Girl in Port Charles, am and will remain the STAR of the WUBS. Even though I'm gone, I live on in my airbag adventures and occasional visits to Sonny as the Ghost of Brenda. I enjoy couch sex, my HIP PILLS , makeup, and of course, my title as, now: The Most Beautiful Girl in the Sea. Oh, by the way NEVER EVER show me a tripod. I hate those things!
(Nickname: Jaspa, Jaxie)
'ello, Mate! I am Jaspa Jax! Blink. Blink. You will see that when I'm around Brender, I ..well, Blink a lot. It's just the best facial expression I can think of when I look at such beauty. I enjoy couch sex, carrying Brender around, playing with my brotha Jer, and generally being as sweet as the day is long. And oh, yeah. Me favorite col-lah is yellow. BA-NAH-NAH yellow.
CARLY aka Caroline Spencer (Sarah Brown's Carly)
Hey ya! I'm Carly. The vixen you love to hate! I am wearing my FAVE outfit of go go boots and big fur coat. I love to say: " PIG!" and "SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH"! as often as possible. The WUB Queen is trying to get me to fall for Sonny...but I love Jason. He's only man for me. Well, for now...ya know....till AJ can cough up enough dough to support me. And oh......I HATE TONY JONES....what an idiot. HEY--WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT?
(Nickname: DA BAT, BATTY, BAT...you got the idea)
Greetings.... Commoners. I am Stefan Cassidine, the dark prince that stole Lasha's heart and mind. I do so love to read a good novel in front of the fire while eating feta and blueberries. I am a connoisseur of fine wine, goats and women's clothing. My enemy is the vile Luke Spencer. You may go....I am finished.
(Nickname: The Creature; Kleenex Princess, Blueberry Bud)
Hello..sniff...sniff....you must...boo hoo...forgive me. I'm in such PAIN! wahhhhhh. Everyone has left me. My husband, son and well....the entire town. And why? Sniff sniff! I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOW! Sniff sniff. The only one that understands me is Stefan....the man that I once loved when I couldn't have possibly have been on the Island of Feta. The man that I had my first...boo hoo...son with when I was only 17 or 16 depending on which history you read...sniff. sniff. I love to wear white togas and these lovely velvet outfits. See? Don't I look...pretty? waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! PS. I hate the telephone and much prefer to drag my behind across a frozen lake to see my STEFAN! BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!
EMILY QUARTERMAINE (Amber Tamblyn's Embrat)
Hi! Um...like, I'm um....well, a typical teen I guess...only that well, my Mom kinda died and I was a drug addict and I live in this crazy house and well, I'm a model, I think and yeah, like Brenda died too and well...all I got was her NAIL POLISH! Robin took like EVERYTHING. I also love, love, love Nik Cassidine cause he is the coolest hunk EVER! But then, like he slept with Katherine Bell. Big slut. She is! Really! I can prove it too! Like, gotta go cause, well....you know, my STUPID family is calling and I have to protect Michael. Who IS Jason's kid, OK?
(Nickname: Kitty Bell, Kit, Kat, and well...you get the idea)
Hello. (licks her Kitty lips) My name is Katherine Bell and I'm madly deeply in love with Stef...I mean Nikolas Cassidine. I am the ONLY one who understands his...um...mind. (smiles a Kitty smile) I have come back from a fall....I was at the ball...and well, I fell...it's a terrible tale to tell...but that's my fate...the fate of Kitty Bell. (PS. The WUB Queen can't help but prose my WUBS.....my name rhymes so well, can't you tell? Why, there it is....KITTY BELL!)
(Nickname: HELLS, Empress Helena)
Yes. It is I, Empress Helena....and I do not know why you are bothering me. Go away.
HEY! We're Nexis! We talk and think just alike. We are the gatekeepers. We are hoping that someday, we get like, a real romantic story. Until then, look for us in the background. We'll be there. Over by the food.
Ok....Elizabeth, go ahead.
No, Lucky.....YOU go...you always know JUST WHAT to say!
Elizabeth....I really wish you had more confidence in yourself.
Oh, Lucky. Gosh, are we still gonna like move to New York City on $50 and live like you know, bohemians? Sure, Elizabeth. Just remember to do your homework and brush your teeth. And don't tell the WUB Queen I'm dead! Oh, Lucky..sigh. I love you so.....
(Nickname: Bat Jr., Nikky/Kitty)
Yeah. Hello. I am Nikolas Cassidine. I am NOT A PRINCE! I may speak latin and spout greek but I AM NOT A PRINCE! My father may think I am, but I assure you I am not. Now, you must know one thing....(leans in and whispers) The WUB Queen is angry with me because my speech returned without the aid of a speech pathologist. She HATES that.
KEESHA, SARAH et. al.
Hi! we are the invisible WUBS....or the WUBS that went into the storage closet and never came out. We've had Scully and Mulder look for us, which is like, too cool!
FOSTER SPENCER/Annabell Quartermaine
(aka: Skillet Head) woof. woof....woof....woof.... woofie woofie woofie
(note: I do NOT FORGET THE PETS....WQ)
(Nickname: Gump Boy, Jase)
Uh, hey. Uh...I'm not sure what to say. I uh...well, follow Sonny around and um...Michael is my son. Want to hear about our recent book reading? We learned all about Thermo Nuclear Dynamics. Cool. By the way, did you know that Life is Like a Box of Chocolates?
Hi! I'm Maxi!
And I'm Mini!
Together we're: MAXI AND MINI JONES SCORPIO! We are very precoscious, love Barbie Dolls and dressing Uncle Mac up like a girl! WE actually live with this lady named Betty. We think. We've never actually SEEN her, but she's there!
Hello! I'm Bobbie Spencer! This is where I live, this is my fireplace and this is my chest. See? If you can't see well enough, I'll be sure to wear a tighter shirt ok? By the way, I am the official provider of the public service information regarding diabetes in children. Did you know my Lucas is hypoglycemic? That means his sugar can skyrocket at ANY MINUTE! It's so scary. Oh, and if you see my ex....tell him to stay away. I can't tolerate his face. Thanks!
(aka psycho Tony; doctor demento)
I WANT MY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! HE'S MINE AND I WANT HIM! Haven't YOU EVER MADE A MISSSSSSTAKE? I want my BOOOOOOOOOOY I tell you! Did you see my hand? It doesnt' work cause like, that MORGAN MANIAC HURT ME! I want my SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
Unfortunately, due to lack of airtime, Justus has become a prop and can no longer speak. He will from time to time pop up in Port Charles, still on IV's and in his hospital bed.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Grumle, Grumble. I hate Corinthos, Morgan, Spencer, Moreno, um...the MAYOR, my BOSS, my LANDLORD, my shoes and this tie. Got a problem with THAT? Didn't think so.
Good Lord! Are you interrupting me, just when I'm busy phoning the judge about my GREATGRANDSON? Dag Nabbit! Reginald! Reginald! Please, get this person out of here. I have important, nasty work to do.
Hello! (big cheesy grin) I am FLEA! And that's not a dig, it's just easier to type! I am so spunky, the writers hate me! I love writing bad novels and well...ADVENTURE. It is my middle name, ya know! I am an Aztec and you will see that sometimes I spout Mexican. It's a gift.
(aka: Mac a lack a ding dong Scorpio-Gemini-Libra) Hey. Well, I'm the Aussie, that lost his accent somewheres. I hate the Jax brothers cause they sound so much more authentic than I do. I am the chief of the Port Charles PD and ok, we may be losers but don't say it to my face. I can get awfully huffy. PS. on a side note: Mac's bladder is HUGE due to the time he spent tied to the bed at Tess's cabin. This gives him superpowers beyond human endurance.
Oh my gosh! Is it MY turn? Really? Oh....COOL! Um....Mr. Jax, is it ok if I take a break here? Well...giggle. I am really really fun and funny and can be cute when I don't have to wear these HAIR CLIPS (gross or what?). I never ever get airtime cause, well....I think cause I am so smart and such a great actress! And well, Mr. Ashton already HAS a girlfriend. Anyway, glad to meet 'cha.
Hey. I am the head of the Pathetic Port Charles Male Society and I am too cool for most WUBS. I do like to have my shots and read the paper though. Just don't mention my "wife." That is a bad idea, man.
Hola! What's up? I'm finally back...and although I starred in many of the new BRENDA GHOST WUBS, I also can be found cooking and preparing mucho sexy dinners for two. My blood is hot as the desert sand and I do so like a good TANGO!
That's right. You saw it right. The WUB Queen hasn't forgotten me, Amy. I am the town gossip and cheerleader for all the males. I am always at the hospital (which, unlike the show is actually IN THE WUBS). Did you know that TONY Jones actually stalked a nurse last week? Yep, I'll tell you all about it if you want. Call me.
1999 WUB PRODUCTIONS, INC.
Brought to you by: The Docks (where fire insurance is CHEAP), Corinthos Coffees and LUKE'S Place. WELL FOLKS, those are the major WUB players at the moment. I Hope you enjoyed this. It was long...sorry! Take care! WUB YA!
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