How The Dalians came to be, and other fun facts!
How did the dalians get so cool? Has Rox always been a cunt? are they rich, oh wait I'm sure if they were Rox would have stolen all the money?
are they famous? what will saustin wear to the Oscars?
hey The Dalians Kicked so much ass, the public feels they have a right
to know when will they see them again. so brace your self and let me break it down real quick like and give you the "Story Of The Dalians-before the hostile ruin"
THE PINK HOUSE
yep, this is it. this is the ghetto. this is the neighborhood your mama was warnin' you about. this is the
shittiest house on the shittiest street in the shittiest part of town.... and we rocked that mother fucker!!!
This is where the OD's(original Dalians) Roxie and Saustin
lived.
we shared this beautiful little shithole with some bogart stoner named Nate and the soon to be sax player for The
Dalians- Deco. It all started in January of 1999 when Sauce had and encounter with a cabdriver named Rockin' Bob who had a little swing/jazz act that played
every weekend at the Serene. Bob's little freakshow needed a bass player, so being the kind hearted person he
was, Saustin agreed
to help the poor bastard out since he had the mad bass skills. As you can imagine, the whole swing thing lasted
about 2 practices before Sauce, Roxie, and Deco decided that it needed to either turn into a punk band or get the hell out of their
house.
So The Dalians were born. With Roxie gettin' throaty with the vocals, Saustin laying down the hard core slappity tappity on bass, Deco shredding on the sax, Rockin' Buttnob
doing some kind of gay shit on guitar, and buttnob's room mate Nate Dimaggio(this fool's grampa's brother was Joe
Dimaggio...grand-nephew?) on the drums. The sound was always falling a little short, the beer was always running
a little short, and tempers were always very, very short. So, as you can imagine, the whole thing was fairly short
lived.
Rockin' Butt-Knob ended up getting told to fuck off and moving back to Boston or where ever he was from, and the
first version of The Dalians ended with a fat ass party called "The Rock N Roll Wenie Roast". the wenie
roast introduced new guitar player Jerry Waste, got our neighbor's head put through the heater, gave about 6 carloads
of cops something to do that night, and left the pink house nothing but a pile of beer bottles, empty kegs, broken
furniture, and something for the pissed off neighbors to talk about for a few years.
The Studios
After the demise of the pink house, the dalians moved to high end rehearsal studios. This place was fantastic...at
first. The line up was now Saustin on guitar and vocals, Roxie on bass, Nate Dimaggio on drums, and Jerry Waste on lead guitar. We had a room at high end where
we could rehearse when ever we wanted. I know you guys are thinking- how did these broke bastards afford their
own studio? well, thats the catch, Roxie worked there and before it was all over, Rox and Sauce were both working there full time and having to deal with all of the stupid fucking metal head
muther fuckers that can make ones life a living hell. A little word of advice - never get your self in a situation
where you have to deal with musicians. they are the weirdest, bitchiest, whinningest, most life
sucking little bitches you will ever have to deal with.
so, anyway we had a room at high end and of course we rocked that muther fucker. We switched our style over
to total balls out hardcore punk. it was great, we played every weekend, Roxie got a break from singing, Saustin got to play guitar and yell, and Nate and Jerry waste both got laid. but of course, all good
things must come to and end. Nate and Jerry weren't really into punk rock and they got the opportunity to join
a band that was more their style. So the Dalians were on the prowl for musicians yet again. But before we could
round any body up the studios closed and The Dalians took a short break.
DBC Prints
Well, its a few months later and things are looking up for OD's Roxie and Saustin.
They have started a business called DBC Prints. Sauce saved $$ and bought a screen printing machine to make
shirts and stickers and managed to rent and office for their base of operations. Things were really takin off.
Nate Dawgg took over as the kick-ass drummer once again and brought them to their dreams of becoming rock n' roll stars just like the Beatles.
Roxie (just like Yoko) decided to steal The Dalians business, break up the band and become an evil cuntwhore which devoures money and cock alike.
Saustin Still loves gettin' crazy on guitar and given the chance to go back in time he would love to smash his guitar on the evil ones head destroying Rox forever.
Rox sucks cock still to this day and bogards what she can.
- The Dalians always will be rockin'
like a muther fucker.
Novel by,
SAUSTIN
Click here to go back to the beginning!!
