It had taken a great deal of work but eventually she found him. She had got hold of his aunt and uncle's phone number, and when they realised how determined she was, they admitted that Oz had been to see them the previous week, but they had no idea where he had travelled to since he had left them. So Willow got on with tracking him down. It was the only thing to do.

She had walked around numb for too long. She had cried for too long. She had made people go blind and crazy, people she loved and eventually she sat down and thought.

Hours passed and the thoughts kept coming. Buffy came and held her hand, and Xander came and stroked her hair and still she thought. And slowly but surely her expression changed and she gritted her teeth and she knew she had to find him.
So she logged on her computer and used every skill she had ever learnt trying to find him. Food and drink appeared, like some random survival after thought, but her eyes seldom strayed from the blue glow of the monitor, oblivious to the presence of her closest friends.

And eventually she tracked him down, and found herself in a basement room, in a secluded guest house, in the desert.

Willow looked at the room- at the paint peeling where the wall met the thin, dirty window which ran along the top of the room, at the single, forty watt bulb, hanging from a bare flex. Eventually she let her eyes rest on the form hunched up in the corner.

Oz lay on his side, facing the wall, barely moving, except for the constant rise and fall of his chest. He looked thinner, his hair a little longer and more unkempt, his roots showing. Willow had come this far but she no idea what to do next. The words wouldn't form, and she couldn't move towards her lover for fear of breaking into his personal space, the space he had run away from her to find. So she slid down the wall and watched Oz sleep.
When Oz opened his eyes he momentarily forgot where he was. He could smell Willow, so close that he was tempted to believe it had all been a dream and that he was in her room at the dorm. But the colour of the walls revealed the truth and his heart sank. He turned over, feeling sluggish and grey... and his eyes locked on the green pupils of his Willow. No words or emotions formed, as they stared at each other. He felt numb. Eventually Willow found the courage to move to the small bed and touched his hand.
"Come home." she said, quietly.
Oz's eyes grew wide and wild, but words still would not form. So Willow continued, rambling, trying to make sense of her conclusions...

"Because I know, Wolf... and Verruca... but me... danger! And... love." she said, quieting down. "And it's stupid because we are all dangerous... you know, axes and shot guns... and me! Oz I made Giles go blind! And... oh god..." she drifted for a second at the memory. "But we choose to do these things. WE choose to be bad. So... wolf, but you choose to let someone watch you."

She wasn't sure she was getting through. She looked at Oz, still lying on his side, sort of small and afraid, looking up at her with big jade eyes, and stroked his hand.

She continued, "And look at Angel. He chooses not to bite humans... because it's the right thing to do- even if it is against his nature."

Oz opened his mouth to speak, paused and closed it again. Sensing progress she stayed silent. Oz opened his mouth again and words formed, slowly and quietly, and determinedly.

"I have to keep you safe."

Willow smiled gently. "Isn't love when you trust someone even though you know they are capable of hurting you? To... you know... give yourself completely? You being a wolf is just another way you could hurt me... you could chop me up, or shoot me ...Or leave me..." she paused. "Eating me is just a fruity new flavour of hurt."

She looked at him, at his small frame curled almost fetal on the greying sheets in a dark dingy room, surrounded by miles of barren land. "But I trust your... your soul." She gave a small shrug. "And you know, I'm no regular human- I can do spells that could hurt you. I can do big power stuff... my fruity flavour. She let a small smile creep across her face that dropped when she saw Oz's stare had not really changed.

"I can't control what I do". he said, quietly.

Willow looked at him imploringly. "But you do!" she cried."You keep the world safe from Wolf-you. You allow people to help you... you let me shoot you, and I''m amazed when you forgive me, because it has to hurt."

She took his had and held it to her chest, let him feel her heart beat steadily, deep inside. Felt his pulse beat in time to her own. "I love your soul... human or otherwise. I love your mind."

Oz looked up at her, and blinked. "It's the choices that you make," she continued, "that make you... you."

Oz blinked again. He seemed to be processing everything she had said.
"Come home." Willow repeated, holding his hand even tighter.

Slowly, Oz shifted his body, his head in her lap, against her warm stomach. And quietly he started to cry.

(Click to read other stories by Dolly)

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