HOW I CAME TO THIS DECISION...

I have waged a full-on war against my weight since a very early age. In fact, I can remember getting teased as early as third grade. Even though I was an active kid, involved in sports and extracurricular activities, I've just always been fat. 

I went on my first 'real' diet at the tender age of 10 - joining Weight Watchers®...which would be the first in many failed attempts at weight loss. I have since tried almost every diet on the market, every diet pill in existence, and every way to deprive myself all in hopes of losing extra pounds. Even with exercise, I never could stay with it, and eventually all of the weight (plus more) came back. 

For as long as I can remember, I have been chasing after the hopes that one day I would be thin and healthy. But for as long as I can remember, that has never been a reality. 

After a complete physical in 2000, my physician told me, a seemingly healthy 28 year old, that because of my excess weight and high cholesterol level, I had a 75% chance of having a heart attack. I'll never forget that day, as it put me on course to change my lifestyle...

After this sobering news, I started researching Weight Loss Options. Carnie Wilson had just gone public with her news that she opted for a Gastric Bypass, or a Roux-en-Y. At first, I thought that this was an elective procedure, kind of like plastic surgery, but decided I would see what it was all about...after all, she looked awesome!

After seeing an ad for WLS in my local paper, I did countless hours of research. I didn't get my hopes up because I never imagined that this surgery would be covered by insurance. Now I was getting ahead of myself and dreaming of tank tops, shorts and dare I say...a bathing suit??? Again...WAY ahead of myself.

I called the 800 number on the ad and they sent me an information packet with a video. I remember being almost ashamed and decided to go into work early the following day and watch it with no one around. Bad idea. I cried and cried and cried. I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach like I never had before. All of those feelings of being ashamed and uncomfortable about my weight were laid out in front of me and I could no longer deny myself the right to grieve. I grieved for the person I once was, the person I am now and the person I wanted so desperately to be. It was a life-changing moment.

TELLING YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY...

That day I began a plan of attack. First mission...tell Tim. I love him so completely - I was terrified of his reaction. That night I came home and shared what I had been hiding all these years. He fell in love with me when I was overweight and he told me that he never had any idea that I was struggling so much on the inside. He told me that whatever my decision was, he'd back me 100%. 

Mission two...tell the parents. I will never, ever forget that day. We met for dinner and I presented them with the video that I had watched the day before. I remember my mom looking at me - it was the same way she looked at me when I returned from spring break with a permanent tattoo. She was scared and unsure. But now, after fighting insurance and everything else that I've been through this past year and a half, she's one of my biggest supporters. She's awesome and I'm so thankful to have her (and of course, my dad too) in my life!

And not everyone I've told have been supporters. They don't understand, and that's okay. I'm confident in knowing that I'm making a wonderful change in my life.

I have always lived my life with the thought that if I'm honest and true to what I believe in, I will never regret the decisions I make for myself.  I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of the choices I've made in my life...and that's something I'm proud of.

So yes, telling friends, family and even co-workers can be scary, but you just may be surprised at the support they'll offer you!

WHAT IT TOOK TO GET INSURANCE APPROVAL...

I made an appointment and had my first consultation in March of 2001. After that, I came home and got all of my records in order for my pre-approval. The information was sent in and around 5 weeks later I received a denial letter stating that I did not have 12 consecutive months of Dr. Supervised weight loss.

My 12 consecutive months of Dr. Sup. weight loss mark hit in August of 2001. Again, I gathered up the info and sent it in. 50 days later I received another letter of denial, this time stating that I needed 18 months of Dr. Supervised weight loss and 5 years of weight history. Ugh. Now they were changing the rules as the saga progressed. I thought to myself, "This can't be right." 

I felt frustrated and down on my luck. I didn't know where to go or what to do so I hired a lawyer. (www.obesitylaw.com) Best money I ever spent. On February 12, 2002 I received a letter of approval...only thing was...the initial surgeon was not in my PPO plan. Back to square one.

On March 13, 2002 I traveled to St. Vincent's Hospital in Carmel, IN. to meet with Dr. Rosemarie Jones. I had a good feeling about this...

CHOOSING A SURGEON AND HOSPITAL

After going down to St. Vincent's and having my first consultation with Dr. Jones, I really started to believe that this just might become a reality. 

Two weeks later, her scheduler called and we set a surgery date for June 7, 2002.  This seemed so far away at the time, but I quickly found myself caught up in quite a whirl-wind!

St. Vincent's was the second Bariatric Unit that I had visited and I definitely felt more comfortable there. I was extremely confident in my surgeon and her staff. My suggestion: if you aren't comfortable, KEEP LOOKING! It's imperative not only for your after-care, but you'll feel more at ease pre-op. 

My decision was also based on the fact that Dr. Jones gave me the option of having my bypass done laparoscopically. This would mean (6) 1 inch incisions instead of (1) 6 inch incision. Faster healing time and less of a chance for infection. That's what I'm talking about!

SETTING UP CONSULTATIONS...

Before you can be scheduled to have surgery, you must meet with a surgeon. The surgeon, along with your primary physician, will be the ones (at first) who decide whether or not you qualify for WLS. 

Some facilities won't even let you in the door if you don't have insurance, so if this is an issue for you, you might want to ask first.

Most facilities also require you to pay for the consultation. Sometimes this service is covered by insurance, you just never know. The first time I had to pay $80.00 out of pocket for the consultation. The second time, at St. Vincent's, I paid nothing. Like I said, it depends on the facility and your insurance.

PRE-OPERATIVE TESTING & CLASSES

After your consult, if your surgeon deems you to be a good candidate for WLS, you will most likely be required to attend a Pre-Op nutrition class. Here you will meet in a group and a dietician will discuss food choices after your surgery. At first it can be quite comical...looking at 2 medicine cups and thinking that this will soon fill you up. But believe me, after surgery it's quite sobering!

You will also be required to get some pre-operative testing done a couple of weeks prior to your surgery. Depending on your health situation, your tests may vary. But this is a list of what I had done:

• Gallbladder Ultrasound
• Blood draw
• Urine sample
• Upper GI series.....YUCK!!!
• Chest X-ray
• EKG
• Respiratory test
• Psychological evaluation

WHAT TO BRING TO THE HOSPITAL

Okay, so now you've been poked and prodded and you're ready to get on with it. But what do you bring to the hospital?  I will tell you what I brought and then I will tell you what I actually USED...

What I brought (in blue)---What I ACTUALLY used (in red)

• Pajamas
• CD Player
• CD's
• Small Fan
• Magazines
• Books
• Shower Kit
• Back Scratcher
• Tongs (for the potty room...it's painful to bend if you know what I mean)
• Anti-bacterial wipes
• Candy for visitors and staff
• Feminine hygiene products (some women start their cycle after surgery)
• Undies
• Comfortable clothes for the ride home
• A pillow
• Calling card
• Slippers
• Nail polish
• Hair scrunchy
• Toothbrush
• Towel
• Slip on shoes

This is just the stuff I remember...I had a whole (large) suitcase packed full of stuff that I never even used. I basically spent my time sleeping or walking around the floor. 

WHAT TO EXPECT IN THE HOSPITAL
This is an excerpt from a journal my mom kept the day of my surgery. Hopefully, it will give you an idea of how the day went:
(her entries are in green, my comments are in blue)

12:10pm - Lisa walked to surgery room.  Feeling pretty good after getting VALIUM! (Yeah, I needed a little happy pill because I was an emotional wreck!  One minute I was cracking jokes and the next minute I was crying. What a mess!)

2:30pm - Dr. Jones said surgery went very well.  If all goes well tomorrow, Lisa may be able to go home Saturday. (I would have gone home Saturday, but somehow my name got put on another Dr.'s roster, so they didn't catch the mix up until Sunday. Damnit. I really wanted to go home....)

3:40pm - Nurse came out and said Lisa is ready to go to a room as soon as one is ready. (I'll be honest. I don't remember being in the recovery room. I don't really remember anything until around 7pm)

5:00pm - I called recovery room - they are still waiting for a bed.

5:20pm - They're taking Lisa up to ICU.

5:30pm - Lisa is in her room in ICU - She's really sleepy and she's really pushing her little morphine button!  I asked the nurse if she could take too much and she reassured me that it only works every 6 minutes, but the more she uses now, the less she'll have available tomorrow.  

No feeding tube.  She's on oxygen and legs are being pulsated.  Every once in a while she moves her legs - nurse told her to.  Blood pressure, pulse and O2 are good.

5:45pm - I left to go get something to eat and do a little shopping for Lisa at Meijers.

7:30pm - Back at hospital but I can't visit until 8:30pm.

8:30pm - Lisa is more awake - doing  good - they walked her and she did fine. 

6/7/02
10:30am - Here for visiting hours - she is at x-ray for Upper GI.
<end of journal entries> Besides having the JP drain removed, this BY FAR was the WORST part of surgery. SERIOUSLY!  OMG. I was so un-godly sick after they made me drink cup after cup of barium. And then, to add insult to injury, they gave me Colace when I got back to the room. Please keep in mind that none of this stuff has sugar in it, so it tasted SO GROSS...BEYOND gross...there's not even a word to describe it.  One of the worst moments for me.

WHAT TO EXPECT AFTER SURGERY

I went into surgery around 12:45pm and was out by 2:30pm. My surgery went great on Thursday...so good in fact, that by 9am Friday morning (not even 24 hours after surgery) I stopped using any and all pain medications!

After surgery, they wheeled me into a room on the ICU wing. This seems to be a standard procedure. At 7pm, the nurse got me up to walk around (to prevent blood clots). After that, I got up every two hours on my own and did laps around the nurses station...they were pretty impressed!

One thing I do remember is being so afraid of the incisions...would they hurt, would they be big...just a general fear of the unknown. But I do remember taking off the waist binder that they make you wear and thinking, "Hmmm.  Not bad at all."  I was really impressed at how small they were. And I had no stitches or staples, except where the JP drain was.  There were 2 stitches just to hold it in place. Eww. Gross.  Just thinking back to that makes me a little queasy, and I have an iron stomach.

I came out of surgery with only one drain on my left side...it was draining off the fluid around the surgical site. It was gross and smelly, but I could deal with it. I had no tubes down my throat or up my nose...I didn't even have a catheter. Although later in the evening I was still having trouble going potty on my own. The nurse said that if I didn't tinkle on my own by 11pm, she would have to insert a catheter. I swear it was probably 10:59pm when I finally went...but what were they expecting? I was on a liquid diet the day before and hadn't had anything to eat or drink for more than 24 hours. How much was I really going to go???  Anyway, the bladder started working and all was well....for a while....

The next morning I got up and did my laps, came back to bed and pressed my morphine pump for the last time. Right after I did this an orderly came to get me for my leak test. (This is where they take you back to the x-ray room and make you drink the most horrible and putrid concoction on earth just to see of the surgical site is leaking). 

So I drink this stuff...over and over again...each time almost puking it back up. It was awful, but the outcome was grand...I had no leaks. But I can't remember when I have felt so awful. That barium was D I S G U S T I N G !!! 

After that, they moved me to my private room on the Bariatric Wing. My nursing staff on ICU and on the wing were totally awesome...and I mean that! They were great!

I stayed in this room from Friday to Sunday. While recuperating, I ate ice chips from Thursday to Saturday. They tried to get me to eat some scrambled eggs, drink a CIB shake or have some Jell-O, but I was having nothing to do with it. Then, I think at one point they said I couldn't go home until I ate something, so on Sunday I finally had some sugar free Jell-O and protein-fortified eggs. Yuck. Now release me, I want to see my doggies...

WHAT TO EXPECT AT HOME

I came home from the hospital on Sunday. I was told to return to the hospital on Wednesday to have the JP drain removed.

Tim took the week off to help me, since I had trouble bending and was restricted on lifting anything over 10 pounds.

I was tired and groggy, but on Monday night I felt well enough to take a walk around the block. I think I over-did it a little, because on Tuesday, I was wiped out.

I spent a lot of time on the couch because sleeping on my back was painful and uncomfortable with the drain in my side. 

Wednesday morning I woke up and my left side (drain) was so incredibly sore. I thought for sure I had a hernia! But please note that this is normal. By this point, I've had the drain in for 6 days and the muscles around it start to heal and are sore...so don't freak out if this happens to you.

We drove back down to Carmel and let me just say that getting the drain removed was one of the most wonderful and most disgusting things I've ever been through!

The Dr. said the soreness was just from the drain and that I was doing great.  Good to know.

At this appointment 2 weeks post-op, I was already down 13 pounds.

POST-OP DIET

I'm just going to say it...the post-op diet stinks. But it's imperative that you follow it or else you could develop problems later on.

This is what I ate while on a full-liquid diet-
-Chicken broth
-Egg beaters
-Cottage cheese
-String cheese (2 weeks out)
-Applesauce
-Baby food
-Sugar free popsicles
-Carnation Instant Breakfast shake
-Mashed potatoes
-Yogurt
-Creamed soups
-Water, water and more water
-Crystal Light

See? Boring. I was on this for 3 weeks and then the dietician moved me to the 'beyond full liquids' phase. At that time I added canned tuna, canned chicken, well-steamed vegetables, beans and the inside of a baked potato. After a couple of weeks I tried baked chicken and fish. For the most part, chicken stays down and I have little trouble unless it's really dry. For some reason, I have a really hard time with fish. It doesn't seem to want to go down. 

After surgery, the dieticians and Dr.'s want you to be on a high protein diet. This will speed along the healing process. They require that you get around 75 grams of protein a day...along with drinking 64 oz. of water and eating (3) 2 oz. meals a day. I couldn't do it all and my protein was the first to go. I am not, in any way, condoning this behavior. I'm just being honest. To me, it was more important to drink the water and try and eat the meals. 

I was very careful to follow all the rules...minus the high protein.  But understand that I did drink an Isopure protein shake when I could.  On a daily basis, I probably wasn't getting 75 grams of protein, but I was pretty close.  Protein is so important even after healing.  You'll probably hear this over and over again by post-ops and medical staff alike...so remember it!  Protein=good.

My incisions were healed in 1 week, except for the area that had the drain. That took a few more days to heal, but I had no problems and most importantly, no infections!

THE 'DUMPING' SYNDROME...

Dumping - Couldn't they have come up with a better explanation?  'Dumping' is the word attached to the horrible side effects (vomiting and/or diarrhea) of eating too fast, over-eating, or eating foods that contain high amounts of fat and/or sugar.

Example. One night I thought I'd beat the system. I was CRAVING, CRAVING, CRAVING pizza. So I thought to myself and I came up with the bright idea that even though I can't eat a whole piece of pizza, I could have the cheese topping! Right? Wrong! Not only did I throw up once on the topping, I TRIED IT AGAIN and threw up for a second time! What a moron!  Anyway...that was Wednesday. I think everyday after that I ended up dumping on something. Saturday evening I threw up Mahi Mahi, Sunday afternoon I threw up a saltine cracker...ugh! I'm not complaining, I'm just telling on myself. I am a moron!

The dumping syndrome can be quick, or it can be painful and drawn out...it all depends on how your body reacts to food. There have been times when I have eaten something that has had hidden sugar or fat in it and I feel like I have the flu for about 30 minutes. I get cold sweats, shaky, nausea and headaches, and then it's gone. Weird. But my body is extremely sensitive to sugar, so I avoid it at any cost!

SUPPORT GROUPS...

As I write this, I am 11 weeks post-op and down 55 pounds. My diet has improved and next month I get to add more choices. I still struggle with vomiting and head hunger, but it gets better every day.

One of the things that I am so thankful for is the support group that I attend. Twice a month we meet and discuss issues. It's truly the only place where EVERYONE knows what I'm going through. It's an excellent place to get advice, ask questions, and even help others in their journey.

I highly recommend that you attend a local support group whether you are just thinking about surgery or are getting ready to have it done. It's really helpful.

Where did my boobs go?

(7 months post-op)
Okay, I've never been too keen or emotionally attached to any part of my body, neck down. (Can I get an amen from all my obese brothers and sisters?) You see, when you're overweight, you spend a good deal of time and money trying to camouflage your body to hide the fat.  Okay?  Ya with me so far?  Good.  

So the first place that I noticed my weight loss, was, yep you guessed it, my chest.  And like I said, I've never been like, "Oooh, look at these fun-bags!" Nope. Nothing like that.  But what was on my chest looked like 2 deflated and sad balloons.  Yes, people - they headed south for a permanent vacation.  

I've gone down 1 cup size and I'm scared to check the balance on that, cuz I'm sure I've probably got some change comin' back...if you know what I mean.  But I just can't bare to check, not yet. So for now, I'll just keep wearing my bra that's too big...Yeah, the same one that allows the prisoners to escape by doing a tuck and roll. **Translation** They keep falling out from under my bra. Don't ask. I have no explanation. I'll just be sitting there and then, **POOF**, my boobs are out on the loose. 

And from what I understand, I am not alone in my itty-bitty-titty-pitty-party either.  I guess it's common.  

Damn that sucks. 

But You Have Such A Pretty Face...

Ugh.  I'm just going to attack this head-on...watch your step...it could get messy up in here...

If I had a f***ing dime, for every time that I've heard this God-awful token bullshit, I'd be a happy bitch right about...now. 

If you are reading this and you have muttered this bastardized compliment, shame on you. We're fat people, we're not stupid. We know that when you say this, what you really mean is:

• "Gosh you'd be pretty if you weren't so damn fat!"
• "I'm just really lazy and I can't think of anything else to say to you.  Sorry."
• "Find a treadmill...and fast."
• "If you had some willpower, you wouldn't be so pathetic."
• "Take the twinkie out of your mouth and get thee to a gym."
• "I am condescending and a gigantic jackass."

...I could sit here for hours on end, but I won't bore you.  I think you get the picture. 

This is not a compliment.  Don't EVER let these words leave your lips in succession...or you will be forever cursed.

If you're searching for something nice to say to someone who is overweight...save it.  Don't say anything unless you TRULY mean it.  We don't need your petty bullshit, seriously.  It's hard enough to try and make it through a day, let alone have to listen to drivel. Enough is enough.

top